If You Give a Marauder a Squirt Gun...

It was a hot day in June, and Gryffindor tower was restless. Sirius was staring at the fireplace, saying it was extremely rude of those "damn house elves" to light them just 'cause he suggested they get a life outside of washing Dumbledore's infernal wool socks. Remus was counting the blades of grass on the Quidditch pitch from his window. James was actually doing his homework. Peter was napping with his teddy (a.k.a. Mr. Thomas). Lily nearly fell asleep standing up before she got a brilliant idea.

"Why don't we have a squirt gun fight?"

Her loud shout woke Peter, who with a confused look on his face asked, "Huh?" "I'm with you, Pete," said James and Sirius simultaneously.

Remus walked towards them. "It's a Muggle thing that squirts water at you." James and Sirius' eyes lit up like two kids in a candy store. They immediately bowed down to Lily.

"Lily, I always knew you were hot but I never knew you were brilliant too," said Sirius.

"You are my new goddess, my muse of prankdom," said James.

"That's just great; Sirius thinks I'm all boobs, no brain; and James hasn't figured out in the three years I've known him that I'm a goddess; where as Remus, the one with the least experience to Muggles knows what I'm talking about and makes sense...most of the time."

"Anyway," said Sirius, "where do we get these squirt gun things?"

"It's a Muggle thing... where do you think?" said Remus.

"Marauder Road Trip!" cried Sirius.

"Look out Muggle London!" cried James.

"I'm scared," cried Lily.

A few hours later, Lily found herself to be a practical armory of various H₂O based weapons. "Let's get ready to rumble," said Sirius as he dragged her out of the store.

When they finally started back to Hogwarts to try their purchases out, it started raining. "Crap!" said Sirius; "We can't use 'em."

"Not necessarily," said James. "I know a boy called Snape who just begged for us to kick his ass last week when he turned us all hot pink."

"The Field Trip to Slytherin Dorm is planned for midnight tonight," said Remus. "Gentlemen, start your invisibility cloaks. We are moving out!"

The next day, Severus Snape walked into Prof. McFail's class half an hour late, with surprisingly clean hair. "Who washed your hair, Severus," called Sirius.

"You jackass," replied Snape, which immediately resulted in 20 points being taken from Slytherin.

"Holy crap, we drenched a Slytherin yesterday and roasted him today!" cried Remus.

"Go, Furry!" cried Pete.

"That's what I get for giving a Marauder a squirt gun," thought Lily as she saluted Sirius.