Mysterious Ways

Author's Notes: Whew! After massive editing, here it is, Chapter One. Thanks to my fabulous beta honeyelle for this one. Enjoy!

Mysterious Ways

~ by ViolentFemme ~

Chapter One

"Alice!"

Alice Tyler turned to see her best friend Lily Evans racing towards her, long red hair dancing in the wind and green eyes sparkling. Alice abandoned her trolley to dash over to Lily and throw her arms around her enthusiastically.

"Lily, darling," Alice crooned, throwing her head back dramatically. "SO good to see you again! How was your summer?"

"Let go of me, you idiot," Lily laughed. "People are staring!"

Alice glanced around the crowds of people to see more than one face giving them curious looks. "Fuckem!" Alice announced cheerfully, releasing Lily from the bear hug she had engulfed her with. "Boring old gits, the lot of them."

Lily shook her head in mock despair. The two girls began weaving their way through the packed platform to retrieve Alice's trolley. "So, did you have a good summer?" Lily asked.

Alice pulled a face. "It was alright, but we spent most of it visiting relatives. Screaming kids who kept waking you up at six in the morning only to find they've stolen your wand and replaced your shampoo with green hair dye - it was a bloody nightmare."

Chuckling, Lily heaved her trunk onto Alice's trolley and the two girls made for the train. "Hey, how was your summer anyway, Miss Head Girl?" Alice teased.

Lily laughed. "My summer was good, thanks, although I can't really believe they picked me for Head Girl."

"Why not?" Alice frowned. "You're the perfect choice for Head Girl - smart, sensible, always follows the rules..."

"Oh God, stop it," Lily begged as the girls boarded the train. "I'm not sensible all the time, am I? You don't think I'm boring, do you?"

"Yes, that's the reason I've been your best friend for six years - because you're boring," Alice said, straight-faced. Lily shoved her in mock anger. Alice laughed. "'Course you're not boring, Lils. You're just - cautious."

"Oh, thanks," Lily replied sarcastically. "I'm cautious? That's the best compliment you can think of?"

Alice glanced around, looking for an escape route. "I can see I'm just digging myself an even deeper hole here," she said with a grin. "I'll shut up."

"Good idea," Lily said. "I've got to go in a minute, anyway - the Head Girl and Boy have to go up to the front of the train."

"Fine." Alice pretended to be hurt. "Just go and leave me all by myself. Abandoned by my best friend - how will I cope?"

"I'm sure you'll survive," Lily remarked dryly. "I wonder who's Head Boy, anyway?"

Alice bit her lip. "Actually, Lily, I do know who it is - but I don't think you're going to like it."

"Why?" Lily frowned. "The only reason I wouldn't like it is if the Head Boy was -"

"ALICE!"

Lily's expression turned icy as James Potter came swaggering over to them, his Head Boy badge clearly visible where it was pinned to the front of his robes. Alice winced, knowing what was coming.

James enveloped Alice in a hug that lifted her off her feet. "How's my favourite cousin?" he asked with a grin.

"If I see her, I'll let you know," Alice teased.

James let go of her and turned to Lily. "Miss Evans," he greeted. "You look ravishing, as usual. How was your summer?"

Lily ignored him and began unloading their trunks into a compartment. "Come on, Evans," James said. "You can't ignore me forever. We're both Heads - we've got to work together."

"Yes, much to my disgust," Lily replied coldly, straightening up. "I'll see you later, Alice." She marched off down the train. James watched her retreating back and when she disappeared, he turned to Alice.

"Al, you've got to help me - I'm desperate," he pleaded.

"Sure," Alice replied. "What do you want me to do - fix your nose? Wait, I know a great spell to make your hair lie flat..."

"You know what I mean," James sighed.

Alice rolled her eyes. "I don't think I'll be able to do anything. If she wanted to go out with you, she would have done three years ago when you first asked her out."

"Please!" James begged. "You've got to try and persuade her to go out with me! Come on - we're family!"

"I know, I can't believe it either," Alice teased. "I mean, how did I turn out so perfect while you're such a pathetic mess?"

One look at James's face told Alice that he wasn't in the mood for jokes. "Fine," she sighed. "I'll do what I can, but don't expect me to work miracles, OK?"

"OK," James agreed hopefully. "Thanks, Alice - you're the best."

"I know," Alice said gravely. James gave her a quick hug before dashing off.

Alice settled down into a seat and tried to think of how she could get Lily to go out with James. It seemed completely impossible. Alice sighed and got up to go and search for the food trolley. Maybe a pumpkin pasty would help her think more clearly.

Before she even got to the door, though, three girls appeared in the doorway. "Alice!" Belinda Gold shrieked.

Alice groaned silently, plastering a fake smile on her face. "Belinda!" she said with mock cheerfulness, stepping into Belinda's overpowering hug.

"How are you?" Belinda asked, shepherding Alice back into her seat. "We haven't heard from you all summer!" She gestured to her friends Jennifer Wheeler and Suzanne Moore, who were hovering behind her.

Belinda, Jen and Suzanne were in Alice's House. Alice shared a dorm with them, much to her annoyance. They were the cliquey, two-faced types of girls who gossiped about everyone because their own lives were so pathetically boring. Alice tried to avoid them as much as she could. It wasn't any wonder that she got along with Lily much better, even though Lily was a Gryffindor and Alice was in Ravenclaw.

"Oh, I've just been really busy," Alice said through gritted teeth as Belinda, Jen and Suzanne took seats opposite her. Great. Now I'll never get rid of them.

Belinda began jabbering at top speed about what she had been up to in the summer. Alice listened for about thirty seconds, then let her mind wander back to James and Lily. Now that James had asked her to help him, it was all she could think about. Alice was a very stubborn girl, and she never let anything go until she had succeeded. But to get James and Lily together, she needed inside help, from someone who was in Gryffindor.

Alice thought about the girls in Lily's dormitory. She didn't really know any of them very well. Melissa Griffiths and Sophie Carter were too wrapped up in themselves to bother about anyone else. Holly Gordon was quiet - too quiet to be much help. The only other girl left was Dorcas Meadows. She was quite outgoing, quite cheeky - like a female version of James, actually. Alice knew Lily got on with her quite well, but Alice barely knew her.

So who? Alice wondered. Then the answer hit her at once. Of course - who better for inside information that James's closest friend?

"Alice?" Belinda was staring at her curiously, and Alice realised that she hadn't said a word for about fifteen minutes.

Alice stood up. "Sorry, Belinda - I've got to go." She ran to the door and left the compartment, leaving Belinda and her cronies looking stunned. Alice hared off down the train in search for Sirius Black.

Once she was as far away from Belinda and the others as she could get, Alice pulled out the yellowed piece of parchment that she had been hiding inside her robes. "I knew this would come in handy," she grinned to herself. Alice didn't like to resort to blackmail, so she told herself that she wouldn't use it unless absolutely necessary.

Alice wandered along the train, pausing briefly to say hello to the only other girl in her dorm who she got along with, Emmeline Vance. "Where could Sirius be?" Alice muttered under her breath as she paused in the entrance to another carriage.

"Are you tired? Because you've been running through my mind all day."

Alice turned at the sound of the voice and saw Sirius standing in the doorway of one of the compartments further down the carriage. She heard a fit of girly giggling coming from the compartment and rolled her eyes. Alice didn't know Sirius that well - even though he was James' best friend, Alice tried to have as little to do with him as possible. In fact, she didn't really like him that much. He was the biggest man-whore she had ever met, and not to mention completely egotistical. She was already starting to regret her decision to enlist his help.

Alice sighed. You're doing this for James, she reminded herself sternly. She tucked the parchment back into her robes and marched up to Sirius.

"I wish you were a door so I could bang you all day long," Sirius said cheekily, still peering into the compartment, oblivious to the girl standing right next to him. The girls inside giggled again even more shrilly. Alice almost burst out laughing at the awfulness of that line. I can't believe girls fall for this bullshit.

"Things must be bad if you've resorted to using chat-up lines as bad as that," Alice commented. "And I thought Sirius Black was Hogwarts' resident girl-magnet." Sirius turned to face her.

"Well, if you've got it..." he said with a grin.

Alice folded her arms. "As interesting as this conversation is, I need to talk to you about something more important."

"OK..." Sirius frowned. "Who are you again?"

Alice raised her eyebrows. His best friend's cousin, and he couldn't even remember who she was! "Alice Tyler," she said pointedly. "James' cousin?"

"Oh, yeah," Sirius said, seeming to cotton on. "Ravenclaw, right? Evans' friend?"

"That's right," Alice said briskly.

"So, what's up?" Sirius asked.

Alice glanced around and saw Belinda and her cronies heading in their direction. She quickly grabbed Sirius' arm and yanked him into an empty compartment before shutting the door.

"If you wanted me so badly, all you had to do was ask," Sirius said with a grin, seeming unable to resist the opportunity to flirt.

"Cut the crap," Alice said, folding her arms. Sirius's stupid come-ons didn't impress her. "It's about James."

"James?" Sirius frowned.

"It's about James and Lily, actually," Alice said. "You know they're Head Boy and Girl this year, right?"

"James is Head Boy?" Sirius asked incredulously.

"Yeah, I couldn't really believe it either," Alice admitted. "But that's not the point. The point is, James has asked me - well, emotionally blackmailed me, actually, by playing the family card - to help him to get Lily to go out with him."

Sirius snorted. "She's turned him down hundreds of times. Why would she change her mind just because you say so?"

"Because she's my best friend," Alice pointed out. "I can be pretty persuasive when I want to. Now that they have to work together, Lily has to talk to him at least. I figure that maybe that will give me an opportunity to help them hook up."

"So?" Sirius asked.

"Well, I can't monitor them all the time, because I'm not in Gryffindor," Alice said. "So that is why you are going to help me."

"I am going to help you?" Sirius raised his eyebrows. "Are you ordering me around?"

"Yes." Alice smiled sweetly.

Sirius folded his arms. "What's in it for me?" he asked with a wink.

Alice wasn't in the mood for this. Sirius's selfishness and utter uncooperativeness was really starting to get on her nerves. Alice pulled out the piece of parchment she had brought along with her out of her robes.

"I didn't really want to resort to this, but you've left me no choice," she told Sirius. Sirius watched curiously as Alice pulled out her wand, touched the parchment and recited, "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

Words began to form on the parchment, but Alice wasn't looking at them. She was looking at Sirius as his expression turned from curiosity to shock.

"Where did you get that?" Sirius demanded, sounding horrified.

"I 'borrowed' it from James this summer," Alice shrugged. "Didn't take me long to figure out how to use it." She touched the parchment with her wand again, said, "Mischief managed," and folded it back up again. "Am I correct in assuming that you don't want this confiscated?" Alice asked innocently, stowing it back inside her robes.

"This is blackmail!" Sirius protested angrily.

"Call it whatever you like," Alice shrugged. "To me it's called being resourceful."

"If you hand that in, James will get into trouble too," Sirius reminded her.

"Well then, help me," Alice replied. "Would it kill you to try and get your best friend together with the girl he's been in love with for three years? Do you not want to see James happy?"

"Of course I want to see James happy," Sirius snapped. "I just don't see why I've got to help you."

This comment greatly annoyed Alice. He didn't even know her and already he was judging her! "Yeah, well, I'm not exactly happy about it either," Alice retorted. "But there's no other way round it, is there? There's no way you could persuade Lily to go out with James, but I need someone who's in Gryffindor to... oversee everything. Besides, you haven't really got much of a choice, have you?"

If looks could kill, Alice would have been six feet under. Sirius glared at her for a few moments, then spoke. "Fine," he said angrily. "I'll help. But I'm only doing this because I'm sick of hearing James whine on about Lily all the time. I'm not doing it to help you!"

"Fine with me," Alice said huffily. She flung open the compartment door and marched out, leaving Sirius alone.

Stubborn, conceited, bullying prat! Alice thought crossly to herself as she stormed down the carriage, scattering a couple of scared-looking first years on her way. How could someone so good-looking be such a - a - GIT!

It took Alice a moment to realise she had thought of Sirius as good-looking. "Oh great. Now I really am cracking up," she muttered dismally to herself.

"Alice, darling!" Alice glanced around and saw Belinda motioning her over.

Great. Just when I thought I was rid of her. Alice approached Belinda cautiously.

"Sweetie, I saw you talking to Sirius Black," Belinda said excitedly, fanning her face with one hand. "Isn't he just delicious?"

Alice's eyebrows shot almost up to her hairline. "What?"

Belinda smiled delightedly. "Now that you two are so tight -" She glanced around to check that no one was listening and leaned forward to whisper in hushed tones. "- Would you be able to put in a good word for me?"

"Belinda, we are not tight," Alice protested. "I had one conversation with him, that's all! It wasn't even a conversation, actually - it was more of an argument."

Belinda's face fell. "Oh," she said in a disappointed voice. She opened her mouth to speak again, but before she could say anything, they were interrupted by a loud commotion from the front compartment. There were a few raised voices, followed by someone storming out of the door, shoving past people in their effort to get away.

Alice looked up just in time to see the person was Lily, hiccuping with tears as she tore down the carriage. Alice didn't think twice. She ran after Lily, pushing a shocked looking Belinda out the way. She vaguely heard James call, "Lily, wait! I'm sorry!" but she didn't stop - James would have to wait.

Alice dashed after Lily as she fled into a compartment, slamming the door behind her so hard that the glass shattered. Alice pulled out her wand, muttering "Reparo," before knocking on the door.

"Lily? It's me - can I come in?"

There was no sound except for muffled sobs. Alice took that as a yes and opened the door.

Lily was collapsed on one of the seats, her knees pulled up to her chest and her head buried in her arms as sobs racked her body. Alice went over and put her arms round her, rocking her gently. Eventually Lily's crying subsided and she raised her head to look at Alice through bloodshot eyes.

"What did he do, Lily?" Alice asked softly.

Lily rubbed her eyes. "Oooh, that James Potter," she said savagely. "He's the most insensitive, emotionally challenged PIG I've ever met."

Alice laughed. "I couldn't agree more. But I have to be nice to him, because he's family."

Lily looked a bit shamefaced. "I'm sorry, I know he's your cousin, but I can't stand him!"

"It's OK," Alice said. "Half the time I can't either. So what did he do to make you this angry?"

"He criticised absolutely everything I did," Lily said angrily. "Every suggestion I made, he acted like I was talking complete crap and that his were the only opinions that mattered. When I said that some of the chairs in our common room were a bit flimsy, he told me that I needed to l-lose some weight..."

Alice winced as Lily's voice broke and she sounded like she was on the verge of breaking down again. "Lily, just ignore him," Alice said, hugging Lily hard. "He's a boy, remember? They make totally insensitive comments like that. That's just what they do."

"I suppose," Lily said in agreement.

"Plus, he's talking complete shit," Alice added, releasing Lily. "You have an absolutely perfect figure and you don't need to lose an ounce."

Lily smiled. "Thanks, Al," she said with a sigh.

"So was that all he said?" Alice asked.

"Well, when I started yelling at him for that, he said I was behaving like a stupid little child, and that I was too uptight that I couldn't even take a joke." Lily balled her hands into fists and she spoke furiously. "He told me that I was too completely wrapped up in myself, acting like Little Miss Perfect, that I couldn't see that I might be wrong for once."

Alice groaned inwardly. Way to make a girl fall for you, James.

"OK, he may have acted like a dumbass," Alice said. "But he was just being a guy. I'm sure he feels really terrible about it. If you give him a chance to apologise -"

"No." Lily folded her arms crossly. "I don't give a shit if he apologises or not. I'm sick of putting up with him. I don't ever want to see him again."

That's just great. Alice made a mental note to kill James as soon as possible. "C'mon, Lil, you've both got to work together," she said coaxingly. "Why don't you just -"

"No." Lily's voice was firm. "I don't care if we're both Heads. I'll resign or something. I don't even want to be in the same room as him."

The door suddenly opened and James came in. "There you are," he said breathlessly. "Lily, I -"

Lily stood up and faced James. "Get out," she spat.

"No - just listen," James pleaded.

"I don't want to listen, James!" Lily yelled. "I don't care what you have to say! You're never going to change, are you? You're a conceited, detestable bully and you always will be!" With that, Lily turned to leave, her eyes blazing.

Just before she reached the door, Lily turned and said her final words, which held more venom than when she had shouted. "You disgust me, James Potter," she said coldly. "Don't ever talk to me again."

Alice cringed as the full impact of Lily's words washed over them. She watched as Lily swept from the room, then turned to look at James's face, which was filled with hurt and anguish. Slowly, James sat down, groaning with his head in his hands.

Fanbloodytastic, Alice thought dully. What a great year this is going to be.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Lily was cold and silent for the rest of the journey, even towards Alice. Alice, as usual, felt torn in two. She felt loyal towards Lily as she was her best friend, but James was her cousin, even if he was a bit stupid - OK, a lot stupid - at times.

"Lily, you can't avoid James forever," Alice pointed out after the Sorting was over and the two girls were walking back to their common rooms. "You're in the same lessons together, not to mention the same House. You're going to have to talk to him sooner or later."

"No I don't," Lily replied. "I never plan to be alone with him again, so there's no reason why I should."

Alice couldn't believe that Lily was being so stubborn. Lily was normally the sort of person who lost her temper easily, but then forgot about it the day after. Of the two of them, Alice was the one who held grudges. She supposed James was a special exception for Lily.

"Won't that be really awkward?" Alice asked, at a last pathetic attempt to change Lily's mind.

"No," Lily said patiently, stopping as they reached the Gryffindor portrait hole. "Actually, it will be a refreshing change. I should have done this years ago. In fact, to me, James Potter no longer exists."

Alice waited until Lily had waved goodbye and climbed through the portrait hole. "We'll see about that," she said aloud, carrying on down the corridor. "You may be stubborn, Lily Evans, but so am I!"

Author's Notes: Chapter Two should be up soon. Please R&R - all comments welcome!