From the Rubber Ducky files...

From the Rubber Ducky Files

It was a normal day in children's television.

Or so it seemed.

Our hero, the infamous purple and green dinosaur, Barney, was explaining to children the complexities and importance of sharing, when our other hero, the white-blonde pale-eyed rebel of Slytherin, Draco Malfoy, entered the studio.

"I see we have a guest, kiddies!" said Barney, improvising (and not very well). He chuckled and the annoying young stars of tomorrow smiled, at a loss for reactions to this surprise. They then-

"I really wish this narration would hurry up," said Draco, obviously pissed. "Damn first time newbies."

Actually, Draco, I've written other fics.

"Yeah, yeah," he then said, looking down at the words formulating beneath the screen. "Don't reply to me through the narration."

Oops. Sorry.

"Ahem!" said the plot, which, for the sake of this fic, is being personified. "I believe I'm here for a reason."

Oh. Right.

Barney then walked up to the director of the production, which they were currently processing due to the youth of America's craving and need for-

"Ahem."

Oops.

Anyway, Barney walked up to the director, who was brainwashed to a great extent due to the fact he directs Barney, and asked for 'a moment.' Of course, Barney is male and has no sense of time. So he would take much more than 'a moment' doing whatever he needed to do. But the kid actors and everyone else were so eager to get off the brainwashing, moronic, moral-teaching set, they allowed a break. Barney then walked up to none other than the blonde heartthrob of popular fan fiction and put his hands on his hips.

"Sharing is a very important lesson. This is a very bad time."

"Even more important than me?" The icy blonde retorted innocently, an eyebrow raised. He then put his hands on Barney's chest and a moan escaped from the juvenile icon.

Theme music then began to play.

"Break done!" yelled the director. "I need to finish this piece of shi-."

But before any major profanity could be used in this fic, Draco held out his wand. "We're busy." The director only seemed mildly convinced to let them talk so he added, "I'm going to tell my father if you don't let us talk." That did it. Draco smirked and turned back to Barney.

"Where is your father, anyway?" Barney asked, trying to avoid making passionate love in front of kiddies and therefore being sued.

----- Another place in the PBS studios----

Lucius Malfoy walked in the Sesame Street set with his forever-pissed wife, Narcissa. He was immediately reminded of the Slytherin Common Room from when he was a boy while looking at Oscar's trash can. Kids have it so easy these days. It was a common fact Lucius no long loved his wife. I mean, of course it was true, because then I would feel guilty for the scenes I will enclose in the future.

"DON'T SPOIL ME!" said the plot, irritated.

Oops.

"Get to the good part already!" said Vanilla Crystal, waiting impatiently for me to stop making our sugar-provoked afternoon a waste.

Okay, okay.

[insert about fifteen paragraphs here, seeing how graphically I'm writing.]

And then, Lucius found love in the form of yellow rubber molded to look like a duck. Therefore, it is a yellow rubber duck. A rubber-based organism in the shape of a feathered creature in the color before green in the rainbow.

"A what?" said people reading this.

OKAY OKAY IT WAS A RUBBER DUCKY!!!!

"Ohhhh. . ." they said.

Our third hero, Ernie, the brunette, striped-shirt-wearing muppet was holding onto a duck. Lucius stared. Not even veelas could be so beautiful. Narcissa, as stated in a paragraph before the one introducing this creature, was shopping in Kate Spade for some wands. Therefore, he was free to check the duck out.

"She will be mine. Oh, yes, she will be mine," Lucius said evilly.

During a break, Lucius stripped and went into Ernie's bathtub with the duck and picked her up. "Don't act as if you aren't in love with me, as I am with you."

"MY DUCKY!" said Ernie, our third hero.

"Shut up. I'm on a roll," Lucius said, throwing his arms up in anger, letting the duck drop to a very private spot. "Ooooh yes. I love it when girls get straight to the point," he moaned.

"MY DUCKY!" repeated the homely muppet.

"Shut up, bitch!" He started to snog the innocent ducky. "Fuck me now."

The duck squeaked. (Translation: "I want you." )

"MYYYYYYYYYY DUCKYYYYYYYY!"

"That's it! AVADA KEDAVRA!!!!!" Then the childhood hero of every normal American dropped dead.

"Finally." And Lucius and the ducky started to-

A production dude then walked up to Lucius. "I'm sorry, sir. You're being a bad influence to the children watching."

"I can't help it! It's the duck! She's so damn seductive."

"Yes, I know, sir, but- OH I GIVE UP LETS HAVE A THREESOME! I WANNNNNT YOU DUCKY!"

"No! All mine!" said Lucius, hugging the ducky to his bare chest.

"MY DUCKY!" sobbed Ernie.

"Didn't I kill you already?" asked Lucius, stratching his head.

"Oh, right, sorry," and Ernie dropped dead. Again.

"Damn medical miracle puppets," Lucius said, shaking his head. The production dude, if you're wondering, has disappeared from the plot. Bert then shrieked.

"You're with Ducky? Lucky! Could we share a fuc-."

"I don't like people who rhyme, for the millionth time! It should be considered a crime! And your voice was as high as a chime!" Lucius screamed. And then licked the ducky.

Narcissa sobbed. "But Lucius! I always wore the strawberry whip cream for you!"

"Sheddup. Forgettaboutit. I want the ducky now!"

------- End of Sesame Street Shoot-------