Second Door to the Right

Chapter Twelve: Departure

The scene she had caused in the Great Hall had given Cho a wide berth, along with anxious and almost frightened looks from many students. She, however, was more than comfortable with this. Though the school may shun her, she knew she had done the right thing. How others were to react was not up to her. This didn't discourage Harry from coming up to her one day, near the end of May.

"Hey, Cho! Celeste?" he yelled from the back of the crowd.

"Hmm? What?" Cho said, looking around for where the voice was coming from, only stopping after Celeste had given her a sharp jab in the stomach (still slightly curved in, but growing fuller as each meal passed) and hissed, "Harry! In the back!"

They retreated into a nearby niche and waited for him to catch up.

"I thought you'd never hear me," he sighed. "Cho, there's a Hogsmeade visit - the last one of the year - "

" - and you wanted to know if I would go with you?" she finished to the amazement of Harry. "Dear, you really are quite predictable!"

"Um, yeah, that's what I was going to say, so you're coming?"

"Of course."

"And Celeste? There's something I need to discuss with you...about Ron."

"Ah, still being a stubborn asshole?" she said wisely. "I'd do almost anything for him and Hermione to be together...but Harry, if you're going to ask me to snog Hermione in Filch's broom closet - well, that's just going too far."

"No, that wasn't what I was going to say. See, he's almost cracking...just a little something more and he'll have his lips all over Hermione. So I was wondering if you had anymore brilliant ideas...you do, don't you?"

"What makes you think that?"

"Well," Harry started uncomfortably, "it's just that you always do."

Cho nodded furiously from next to him. Celeste smiled slightly.

"Thought it will be shocking to learn, even geniuses have their limits - yes, even me. I think we've done enough tampering with their relationship, and the only piece of advice I've got is just to let things flow."

"What?" Cho blurted out, completely astounded. "You've spent so much time just trying to get Hermione realize her true feelings and for her and Ron to finally get together...and you're just going to let it all fall apart?"

"No, it's not exactly like that. You see, Ron still loves her; that's really obvious, but he's being - I mean, been - all stubborn about it. There's a golden opportunity for him, this last Hogsmeade visit. If he comes to his senses, he'll ask her out, simple as that. But, if he decides to keep on being a bastard, then he'll miss the one chance to regain Hermione's heart. And while Hermione may not be the prettiest girl in the school - not saying she isn't, Harry, just not the prettiest - she'll definitely hook up with someone soon...if Ron doesn't act. It's all going to be his fault, really. We all gave him enough chances, so did Hermione. If he lets it all go to waste, hey, not my problem."

"But you're supposed to care about people," Cho pressed.

"Yeah? I've cared enough for Ron. If he doesn't do anything with what he's got, well, I don't know what he's going to do then."

"Okay, then," Harry said gloomily. "Better go and do some last minute studying. O.W.L.s..."

"Ooh, have fun, then," Cho said sarcastically. "Well, good luck with them. Thank goodness we don't have them again this year. Just finals."

"I'd rather have those than O.W.L.s."

"Actually, given the chance, I wouldn't take any of them," Celeste remarked casually, gathering up her belongings. "Come on, Cho, I think we have a little studying to do ourselves."

She said a sorrowful goodbye to Harry, knowing very well she would much rather spend her time with Harry in the Room of Requirement than looking up potion ingredients in the library.

* * *

A couple minutes ago, Harry would have found it impossible to be frustrated with Celeste. The girl did have a tendency to expel any gloom hanging around and finding solutions to almost everything - and now her advice was to just let things flow?

What kind of advice was that?

* * *

Staring glumly across the room at Hermione after the Gryffindors had returned from dinner, Ron wondered if his life would ever improve. He wanted her more than ever...yet something held him back. He wanted her to know what it was like to feel rejected. Then why did he feel rejected? Ron was supposed to be taking pleasure from seeing her alone and friendless, just as he had been this year, but he wasn't. He only felt worse with each passing day, and with the Hogsmeade visit coming up...

No, just don't of her. You'll get over her one day.

He watched Seamus Finnigan shyly walk up to her. Oh, please, not again...

"Um, Hermione, if you're - you know - free this next weekend and I, I was wondering if you'd like to, you know, go with me or something, as long as you're not busy," he stuttered.

"Well, I'm sure I can set aside my studying just for a day," she said, stealing a furtive glance at Ron, who was steadily growing angrier and angrier.

She shouldn't be going on a date with someone like Seamus. She should be going with...

Damn you, Ron!

He marched up to Hermione, grabbing her by the wrists and pulling her up, taking her - and even him - by surprise.

"No, Hermione, I'd rather you stay and study," he snarled, "than date someone like that."

"What in the blazes are you talking about, Weasley?" Seamus yelled, pulling out his wand.

"I - " No, this wasn't right! Hermione was supposed to be overjoyed he was back, returned to his senses, and there wasn't supposed to be another guy involved! Oh, never that, not that! But he couldn't think of any way to curb his lashing temper...maybe he should just get rid of his temper all together. Ron thought of Celeste, her always happy face...she wouldn't want him to be this coercive with anyone. He cleared his throat and tried to fix his face into more placid lines. "Hermione, can we, um, go over there...to the side?" Why do I always have to look like a beet during times like these? "Look, I really didn't mean to do that, it's just - "

The scene swam oddly in front of his eyes...Seamus swearing a little further off...Hermione looking positively terrified...it all filled him with shame. No, there was no way around it.

"Yes, Ron? Then what did you mean to do?"

"I just...oh, God!" He swept her into an all-encompassing hug, unable to constrain himself anymore. "I was just so pissed off after what you did, and I wanted to - how am I supposed to say it?"

"You wanted me to have my comeuppance, did you?" she murmured, not resisting his embrace.

"Yeah, yeah...and, God, I've been so selfish. I didn't realize I wasn't just hurting myself...but you too...oh, God, I'm such an idiot."

"Shh, everything'll be alright. I've been selfish too this year."

"I'm so sorry, 'Mione," he whispered, kissing her on the cheek.

"Here, let's go to the Room of Requirement. I'll tell you everything there."

Hand in hand, Ron and Hermione left the Gryffindor Tower and passed an utterly stunned Harry Potter along the way.

* * *

Cho couldn't deny the appeal of Hogsmeade and set herself to indulge in mounds of Honeydukes chocolate and bottles of butterbeer ("I need to compensate!"). She saw Ron and Hermione together (Celeste has prevailed, she thought, proud of having such a friend), and while she did not say a word to Harry about it, she was sure he noticed. The sun pierced through the boundless sky, lightening the town, and Cho felt that she wouldn't be out of place strolling down a bustling street in a large European city - Rome or Paris, perhaps. With Celeste talking avidly next to her (Harry had offered Celeste to come along to spare her spending another picturesque weekend cooped up in the castle), it was as life itself was being reintroduced to her.

Something was amiss though, even as she kissed Harry passionately in a deserted alley. As much as he would look fondly into her eyes, there was a still a lingering gloom from the past, and Cho was loath to think about such a thing, especially on a day like this. This was supposed to be her equivalent of utopia (no, it was utopia), one last date with Harry...she wanted it to be just like it was before it all started, but she knew - despite her hoping against it - nothing would ever be same.

* * *

The end of the year approached much too quickly for Cho's liking, who wasn't too keen on seeing her parents again after what had happened. Much to her dismay, Madame Pomfrey had sent a letter home, telling them what had occured, and though she complained about this to Celeste, her friend assured her that if the nurse hadn't done it, someone would have eventually.

"Things like this can't be covered up," Celeste had told her.

Despite whatever consolation her friends gave her, she never wanted to leave Hogwarts less.

So she supposed that's why she opted to skip the end of the year feast.

"I've got some books I lost and I need to find them," she told a disappointed Celeste as the feast drew nearer. "Hey, can't leave Hogwarts without my books!"

But she had already gathered most of her belongings and packed them. It wasn't that she didn't want eat anything; she only wanted to roam through Hogwarts on her own, to see it free of people, to be with her home...just once more.

Peeking her head out of the door to check for any stragglers in the common room, Cho was relieved to see no one had remained behind. Good for a little reminiscing, she thought. She sneaked out of Ravenclaw Tower and set out towards the library. Just Hogwarts and me, she thought, contented with the thought that there would be no one between her and her home for hours...everyone would be too busy at the feast to notice her absence anyway...

"Oh, shit! I'm sorry!"

Cho had suddenly bumped into someone, being wrapped up in her thoughts. Though she still wasn't paying much attention to what was happening around her, one sight at the bushy hair told her she had crossed none other than Hermione's path.

"Why aren't you at the feast?" Hermione asked after helping Cho back onto her feet.

"I just - didn't feel like it." A skeptical look on Hermione's face told Cho she had raised her suspicions. "I had to look for some books I lost over the course of the year. There were some really good ones. It would be a shame to leave them behind."

"Of course," Hermione said briskly, nevertheless, sounding none too sure. Neither could find anything to say, yet neither could find the will to move, thus finding themselves rooted in the middle of a hallway while the clinking of silverware and chatter could be heard in the distant background. Cho could feel her body tense up and could see Hermione's do that as well. Great, she thought, I get to spend my full day at Hogwarts wondering who's going to move first. Sighing, she turned around and walked back to the Ravenclaw Tower. So much for walking around the school alone. "Wait!" Hermione blurted out, running towards Cho. "Look, I know this may sound a little forward...but you know what happened during the Easter Ball?"

"Yeah?"

Cho always got a little defensive when such a topic was being discussed...especially at the hands of people like her.

"Well," Hermione said, feeling very awkward, "you said that one day, during lunch, that you had anorexia."

"Your point is?"

"Like I said, sorry for being so forthright - but you don't just suddenly decide to starve yourself, right? Could you tell me, you know, what happened and all?"

"Why?"

"Just...curious, like the rest of the school."

"Still talking about me, are they?"

"Oh, no! Not at all, but it's kind of obvious they want to know right?"

"So you want me to tell you?"

"If you wouldn't mind," Hermione said. "But if you don't want to, it's perfectly fine by me!" she quickly added, though it was only too evident not knowing would be a great disappointment for her indeed.

Cho, who had always felt powerless, was completely aware she held quite a bit of power in her hands, now that she knew the entire school hungered for her story, it certainly put them at her mercy. A complete reversal of power, she thought. And here was Hermione, someone Cho had begrudgingly admired even if she was a year below, asking her if she could just tell her something.

"I guess so," Cho said slowly, "but only if we get out of the hallway first. I don't fancy having it overheard."

"The Room of Requirement?"

"That'd work."

What the hell am I doing, Cho thought, telling Hermione this? She has no business in what happened to me...but then she remembered seeing Hermione surrounded by people and laughing gaily. She did have a part to play then, Cho realized. Well, I certainly can't tell her that.

After making themselves comfortable in the Room of Requirement, Cho repeated the same thing she had told Celeste and Harry - but tactfully leaving out Hermione's role in the incident. It rendered her speechless.

"Did that really happen?" she asked at the end of it, bordering on uncertainty and shock.

"Well, if it didn't, it's a really thought-out lie, don't you think?" Cho snapped, liking Hermione less and less.

If she's brought me here just to ridicule me, then I would have been better off at the feast after all.

"No, I didn't mean it like that! I just didn't know it was possible for someone to go through all of that and still, you know, be alive...."

"Then what do you think Harry's been doing all these years?"

"Oh, please, can't we just have a friendly conversation?"

"So now I'm the one being unfriendly?" Cho said, amazed. "I told you what you wanted to know, and you treat it like crap."

"No, don't misunderstand!" Hermione moaned. "There's something...something I wanted to talk to you about because I think you've gone through what I did this year."

Cho's heart jumped. Oh, God, does this have to do with how she's been acting?

"What?"

"Well, see, first I have to apologize for asking you about what happened to you. It was really none of my business in the first place. I went down the feast, hoping that I might be able to talk to you, even though you've been glaring at me all year."

"Was I?" Cho asked, trying to feign an "I-don't-care" attitude.

"It seemed that way, but it's not your fault if you were! I know - I mean - I think a lot of people her."

This was the most flustered Cho had ever seen Hermione. She always seemed so composed. Her breathing was irregular and her eyes darted in many directions, as if searching for something she knew she couldn't find.

"Why?"

"I'm about to tell you. So, anyway, I tried to find you there, but you weren't sitting next to Celeste or anywhere on the Ravenclaw table. And if you weren't there, then you wouldn't be there at all - I've never seen you sit anywhere except next to her - so I thought you might have skipped it. I left the feast and went looking for you. There's something I need to tell you...about how I've been acting this year.

"I'm trying not to sound arrogant, but you have noticed that I was rather popular this year?"

"Who could've missed it?"

Hermione, thankfully, missed the sarcasm.

"Well, I've never been universally well-liked anywhere, not here at Hogwarts or when I still went to my old Muggle school, though obviously Hogwarts is much better than what I had to put up with before. You have no idea how many names I used to get called, all because I wouldn't play football with the other kids during our breaks. I just ignored it - I've been ignoring it here too - but something happened this year that gave me this huge window of opportunity. I don't know how I didn't see it before.

"Fifth year is O.W.L. year, and almost right after I got off the train, people I never even knew started asking me if I could help them with their Potions or Charms or what have you. And this makes me sound so manipulative, I know, but I thought that I could use this attention to my advantage, so I used my intelligence to put myself on top of society here at Hogwarts. Some seventh years even asked me to help them with their N.E.W.T. preparation papers.

"For the first time, people actually liked my oddness - my, um, fondness for books and studying. It sort of went to my head. I wanted to be liked by everyone...I guess, I fell for that insecurity all girls - maybe guys, even - have every now and then. I wanted to be popular.

"I knew that, however, if I really wanted to be popular, I'd have to be in the favor of someone who was already popular and had a huge social base. So who else to seek out other than Draco Malfoy?"

"Were you really that desperate?" Cho asked, ignoring the fact she was interrupting Hermione.

"In retrospect, I think I was very very stupid this year...but I guess at that time, it was, or seemed like, a smart thing to do. He and I came up with a little deal. I told him what I was trying to do, become popular, and he would go out with me - therefore expanding my social base as well - and I would help him with his homework and studying for the O.W.L.s. His grades aren't too great, if you want to know. I took a while to convince him to do this. You know how he hates Muggle-borns: more than I hate Professor Snape.

"But he agreed, eventually, and at first, people kept on coming up to me and telling me, 'Oh my God! You're dating a Malfoy?' He pretended to be infatuated with me, of course, and he acted so well there were times where I actually thought he fancied me. Guess he really needed some help with his schoolwork. And he's a great kisser, as if it matters.

"I was willing to put up with this for quite a while. But then I realized that I was hurting other people, people who had once cared for me, especially Ron. I didn't realize that by making such a gamble, I was risking the friendships I had that were already so strong. Oh, and I also fancied Ron, too. I suppose I never really noticed it until this year.

"Malfoy began to notice that I was paying a lot more attention to Ron. I think he was really happy with all the help I was giving him because then he tried to get me to like him - for real. I resisted, but when I thought of how liked I would be, I just gave in to him, and when it wasn't so easy for him to convince me to stick to the plan, he'd threaten to tell everyone what I had been up to. I figured out I was being a moron, but I just couldn't let people know that, so even after having huge rows with Malfoy, I'd end up snogging him. I'd decided it was worth doing this, as long as people didn't know I was being a scheming little bitch. I know it probably doesn't sound like much to you when people find out you've made some sort of mistake, but I have a tendency to blow everything out of perspective. To me, whenever someone thinks I'm stupid or I've done something stupid, that's the absolute worst thing that could ever happen. I tried to do everything in my power to prevent something like that from happening.

"This just sort of continued for a long time, the fights and threats and all, until Celeste's plan with Ron got me to realize I was being a total idiot, trying to be popular, and that I shouldn't care what other people thought because it was costing me so much. Now I know that popularity is entirely superficial. It looks pretty and all, but once you get there, you'll regret it later."

"And what does this have to do with me?" Cho asked, now feeling incredibly sorry for this girl who, too, had fell prey to the monster of popularity.

How could I ever have hated her, she thought, chastising herself. I've been totally blind; I should've seen it right away.

"Well, during the Easter Ball," Hermione said, thinking hard, "I told Celeste what happened. You're so lucky, Cho, to have a friend like that. Anyway, she mentioned that, well, that you sort of went though the same thing, in a way, trying to be popular and the like."

"She spoke the truth," Cho said softly.

"My God, I never knew we had so much in common, once you considered what happened to you and me this year!" Hermione exclaimed brightly, standing up.

"Hey, it's nothing to get that excitable over!" Cho said, who couldn't help but smile.

"I've said a lot of bad things about you this year. I'm really really sorry for it all."

"Well, so have I," Cho replied, feeling her insides wince. "Shall we make amends?"

"Why not?"

They shook hands, and Cho knew that she and Hermione had just forged a friendship for the ages.

* * *

"Hermione, why weren't you at the feast?" Ron asked later that night.

"I was talking to Cho," she said matter-of-factly.

"I thought you didn't like her," he said, knowing that something had happened he was completely unaware of.

"At first, I suppose I didn't," she said, not bothering to suppress a grin, "but it's amazing how much you can have in common with an enemy, isn't it?"

"Guess you're right!" Ron cried, his ears turning slightly red.

* * *

"Homeward bound, that's what we are," Celeste grieved. "Another summer before I can refresh my supply of guys."

"Another summer before I'm home," Cho weeped, continuing the tradition of crying as the Hogwarts Express departed the from the train station in Hogsmeade.

"Hey, this summer can't be that bad. You've got a boyfriend who hasn't died or even put in mortal peril, which is certainly something since your boyfriend's Harry. You're friends with an immensely useful person when it comes to exams. You've got, not being self-centered or anything, the best friend you could ever have, right? Okay, so I'm joking about that last one, but, best of all, no more whispers about you lurking in the hallway!"

"Yeah, but just wait until my parents see me," she hissed.

"Don't complain," Celeste whined. "As if you need reminding, my Muggle cousin's coming over for the entire bloody summer. She's always asking me everything about the wizarding world." She put on a high voice. " 'Celeste, how does a wand work? Celeste, how can you make things fly? Celeste, how can understand all this stuff? Celeste, what are lacewings? Celeste, can you make my voice louder so I can annoy the shit out of you?' So, there, you get the general idea."

"I could come over for the summer, if my parents let me. That way I'd be able to leave them and you'd have someone to talk to!"

"Mum would never let me," Celeste said gloomily. "She says I need to learn how Muggles live, especially since I decided not to take Muggle Studies, which she was all obsessed over. Well, if Muggles live by belting out all their words, I don't think I could stand a life like that."

A chuckle escaped Cho's constricted throat. There's typical Celeste for you, she thought. She looked outside the window at Hogwarts, watching it grow smaller and smaller until it was a mere gray speck in the background. It had been ten months since she had talked to Harry on the train, finding out what had supposedly happened to Cedric...a year since she stepped on this train, an emotional wreck, thinking of Cedric...but he hardly occupied her thoughts now. She said the occasional prayer, of course, but many other things had pushed him out of center stage...

* * *

Harry.

The name came out of the anarchy and chaos in her mind as she sat on the moving train.

Harry.

How she missed him already (though he was only a few compartment down), that vibrancy of his green eyes, his cheery manner, how he filled her with passion when they were alone, kissing, his lips running over hers, how it had the magic of transporting her to a world free of loneliness and sorrow.

Harry.

And how she dreaded doing what she knew was necessary.

Necessary for not only her but for him.

* * *

Cho never quite remembered how, but through the masses of students on Platform 9 ¾ saying their farewells she had sought out and found Harry. She was blinded by the tears and heard Celeste calling for her, but she needed to find Harry. She refused to leave without doing that.

"Oy! Harry!" she yelled at a tall, black-haired boy reaching for his trunk.

"Cho, what d'you need?" he yelled back, trying to make himself heard.

She fought her way through the crowd, not even pausing to say, "Excuse me," or "Coming through."

"Harry, we need to talk. Could you come over here for a second? I promise it won't take long."

She led him to a somewhat secluded corner of the platform and faced him defiantly.

"What is it?" he said gently, stroking her tear-stained face.

"I've decided that - for the both of us - it wouldn't work for me to remain your girlfriend."

"Cho, you're joking!"

"I would never, not about something like this."

"Darling, I still love you."

"But that's beside the point. See, when we were at Hogsmeade, it felt like there was something separating us. I think you felt it too. I believe it has to do with my, um, experiences this year - " (Cho couldn't bring herself to say "anorexia") " - and I know that if we continued dating each other, that feeling would never go away, and I can't blame you. I don't think you could ever look at me the same again without thinking, 'Oh, this is the girl who nearly killed herself for me.' And even if you say you love me and would do anything for me - and I do believe you when you say that you care for me - it'll just never be the same. Because I know that I can never look at you in the same light anymore."

"So you're breaking up with me?"

His voice sounded hollow. She knew this would be hard...but Cho needed to tell him.

"It's for us. It just wouldn't last, our relationship, after all it's gone through. It's scarred, really. I'm sorry." She didn't want to believe in what she was saying, not one word, as Harry took her sobbing form in his arms one last time, but she knew it was right, that in the end, it would be beneficial to forsake a true but now twisted and blemished love. She could still love him from a distance, couldn't she? "Please," she begged, "don't be angry. It's for us, it'll all turn out all right - "

"It's okay," he said. "I'll still love you anyway."

* * *

He didn't want to let her go, Cho, his only love, the star in his night, his lighthouse pointing out the way, who had taught him so much in the past year. But he had to. She was right. They couldn't go on like this, not when he almost could see the ghost of a deathly pale and thin Cho hiding right behind the real one.

"Well, goodbye," he murmured, not wanting to say such horrid words, words that would sever their relationship and leave it in loosened strands.

"Yeah. I think Celeste's calling for me..." she said, her voice trailing off. "Write to me over the summer, okay? We can still be friends."

"Sure, that'd be great," he said unenthusiastically.

He looked back into the eyes of the young woman he had been enamored with for what felt like forever...Harry remembered when he played against Cho in Quidditch during his third year, when he had noticed she was very pretty indeed.

Now that pretty girl was lying in his arms, shedding tear after tear.

"Cho, I can see Celeste over there," he said, laying his head on top of hers, savoring its silky feeling. "You'd better start leaving."

"Yes, but not before - "

Harry knew what she wanted and what he wanted. He brought his lips to hers, felt their fullness and tenderness, felt their craving for his mouth, felt their ardor and was matched only by his own.

She parted, shaking and trembling, breath coming in heaving sobs.

"'Bye then," he said, knowing an era had passed and planted a brotherly-like kiss on her forehead.

He watched her swinging hair disappear into the crowd, a black veil of mourning vanishing into the rising sun.

Epilogue

"Come down for breakfast, dear?"

"Yes, mum," Cho moaned.

If she had been given a choice, however, she would have stayed in bed. Her parents were much nicer to her this summer (Was it that letter Madame Pomfrey sent? Hmm, must be.), and while she had no objection to eating eggs in front of her mum, what she really wanted was to sleep soundly without having to be disturbed. Hogwarts had really taken a lot of her this past year.

Mrs. Chang was reading The Daily Prophet, as always. Load of dung, Cho thought exasperatedly, looking at the top headline ("Eyewitness Account of Potter's Madness").

But something caught her eye. Though she never seriously read the newspaper anymore, Cho had seen the front page enough to know it by heart, yet here was something she was sure wasn't there the last time she laid her eyes on it. On the left column, where it listed what pages the weather, national/international news, etc. were on, Cho read:

Teen Voices (Page 16)

Share your life-changing story today!

"Mum, could I take a look at the newspaper?" she asked.

"Why not?" Mrs. Chang replied, folding the paper and handing it to Cho.

Unexpectedly, the usual rubbish was printed: "How to Flirt Successfully," "True Love Lost," the like. What do they know about love, Cho thought. As much as she disapproved of the paper, it might be exactly what she was waiting for.

After helping her mum clear the dishes, Cho set the paper in front of her after getting herself seated at the desk. Reaching for her quill, ink, and a roll of parchment, she thought about what she was about to write. The moment of pensiveness soon passed, though, as she placed the tip of her quill on the parchment.

Anorexia: It's Nothing To Be Proud Of