Second Door to the Right

Chapter 6: Celeste's Plan

"Where were you?"

"I just didn't go to dinner, that's all," Cho said, wishing Celeste could just let her be.

"Why? It's not like you to miss anything, meals included."

"Well..."

There's nothing wrong with going on a diet, right? I can't really hide that truth away from her...

"Well what?" Celeste asked.

"I'm going on a diet."

Silence followed those words. Cho looked up at her friend, who looked a bit unconvinced. It's true though, she thought. I just can't tell her the reason behind it. Oh, how people would laugh at me if they found out.

"You don't need to go on a diet," Celeste said slowly. "You're already perfect."

Eh, if only.

"No, I'm not!" Cho said, looking horrified. "See this?" She pointed at her stomach. "Look at it. I could not eat for months and still survive."

"Cho, relax. You're not going to die if you don't have a concave belly. I just don't want to you hurt yourself, that's all."

"It's not like I'm going to starve myself," she spat.

"Okay, I get it!"

Celeste stormed away, her back turned, and Cho had a nasty feeling that she had just alienated the one person that had supported her for as long as she could remember.

Thankfully, for Cho, that didn't exactly happen. Though Celeste did not entirely stop speaking to her, she acted very distant around Cho. However, Cho was much too busy to notice this. In fact, she was too busy to notice anything besides hunger and schoolwork. The diet had taken a toll on her concentration and attention span. Hunger struck at every available moment, the stinging hollowness that caused her to double over and think to herself, "Am I doing the right thing?" With every doubt came lashing words from It, who would ridicule her for her weakness, her inability to control the desire to eat, calling her gluttonous and fat. Thus there were two pains: one originating from her abdomen, the other from deep inside of her, both threatening to tear her heart out.

Nevertheless, the diet had proved to be useful. As the end of October neared, she had already lost three pounds, and while it wasn't much, to Cho, it felt like it was worth more than all the O.W.L.s she had received. She proved to herself and to It she could do achieve something completely on her own without the assistance of another. Seven pounds away, she told herself.

Cho had even found a method of partially overcoming the stabbing ache hunger brought. While researching for a Potions assignment, she had found a book in the library (Olde and Useful Potions) that was nearly impossible to understand (Was the book 400 or 500 years old?) unless she devoted all of her attention to it. Realizing this could easily divert her attention from hunger, she checked it out and read it whenever the pains worsened. But all in all, she had more or less gotten acquainted with the feeling of being constantly famished. Cho had even been able to avoid the delectable scents that floated to her during meals. Since she didn't have much to eat anyway, she would simply take her food and eat it in the girls' dormitory. This wasn't strange practice. Many people had taken to doing so, especially the N.E.W.T. students, now that the workload was increasing.

Cho couldn't remember feeling happier...but it was a shallow sort of happiness, really. Could it even be classified as happiness? The only place she had ever found true happiness was with Harry, and when she had told him about the diet, he didn't look too pleased.

Am I doing the right thing?

* * *

Hermione looked at her toast and decided she wasn't hungry. After all, she had eaten the chocolate Draco had sent her before breakfast. Putting down her napkin and standing up, ready to leave, she did not notice the owl in front of her.

"Hermione, you've got an owl," Lavender Brown pointed out.

"Oh!"

She reached for the roll of parchment at once. She didn't get much mail, only The Daily Prophet. The letter was from Draco and she devoured it hungrily.

Dearest Hermione,

In case you've been to wrapped up in your schoolbooks to notice, Halloween is in three days and classes are cancelled that day for a Hogsmeade trip. I was wondering if you'd like to come with me.

You might be thinking why I didn't just ask you this in person. Well, there's something we need to discuss and I wouldn't want to embarrass you by telling you what I'm about to say out loud.

I've noticed you've been avoiding me lately and looking at certain redhead instead. Do I have to remind you again of what we agreed to yet again? I'd think that someone as dedicated as you are would remember. Or, maybe, we could call this whole thing off, and I could do what I've been wanting to do for a while now. I'm sure you don't want that to happen.

Yours truly,

Draco

Oh, the bastard! He wouldn't possibly tell...right? Oh, he can't! If he does, I don't know how I'll be able to face anyone again! I've got to regain his affections now...before...Hermione fumbled in her bag for a quill, and quickly scribbled a reply.

Yes, I'll go to Hogsmeade with you. Don't forget, I still love you.

Hermione, what are you doing?

* * *

"Are you still doing the whole diet thing?" Harry asked, walking around the Room of Requirement. This morning, he had asked Dobby where he could find a room where two people could meet and talk undisturbed. Dobby had told him about this room, the Room of Requirement, and Harry had brought Cho here. He needed to tell her something very important.

"Yes."

"And remind me again why you are?"

"Because I'm fat and I need to lose some weight," Cho said, sounding as if she was reciting something.

"Darling, you aren't fat and you don't need to lose any weight," Harry sighed, sitting down next to her. "You are absolutely wonderful just the way you are and I don't see the point behind starving yourself."

"I'm not starving myself, Harry. I'm still eating - "

"Yes, but hardly," he persisted. Cho's going to kill herself this way, he thought. If only she'd listen. Are all girls this stubborn? I know Hermione is...no, don't think about her. "You aren't eating enough."

"I'm eating enough to live, that's pretty obvious. And why do you care?"

"Because I care for you," he said softly, titling her face up.

Oh, Harry, why am I doing this? How can I be giving up food and you and Celeste just for something that's completely unattainable?

It's not unattainable! Only the lazy and weak think that!

Can't I just stop?

No! And don't you dare let Harry in the way of your quest for perfection! Don't let anything get in the way!

"Harry," she said in a much kinder voice, "I'll be fine, really, I promise."

But he didn't look too convinced.

"Harry - "

"Look, just stop it, okay?"

He stood up and started for the door, Cho's gaze following him. He's leaving? Oh, damn, what have I done? I'm such an idiot!

"Harry, I'm sorry!"

Don't cry...

Cho's vision blurred...Harry was but a blob now...she felt something slide down her face...pearls of misery...

What the devil are you doing?

I...I don't -

Stop it! Now!

Can't...Harry, please...

"Cho, what's wrong?"

He was cradling her in his arms, she sobbing violently into his shoulder. Cho wanted to tell it all to Harry, of how she wanted to be perfect, to be accepted by Harry as adequate company, to actually be worth something. But she knew not to say anything. Better to mislead Harry then to let him learn how insecure she was.

"Cho?"

She could only mutter, "I'm sorry," before being subjected to another round of verbal beatings by It.

"There's a Hogsmeade visit on Halloween. Wanna go?"

"Um, sure," she sniffed through the departing tears. "I have to get a dress for the ball, anyway."

"The ball?"

"You know, the Christmas Ball. Dumbledore mentioned it at the beginning of the year. If I had known we'd be having them, I could have brought a dress, I have a million at home."

"Why get a dress this early though?"

"Because soon everyone's going to be swarming into Gladrags Wizardwear, and then all the good dresses will be taken."

Harry, who didn't quite comprehend the connection between girls and clothing, merely replied with silence.

"But I'll still spend time with you, in case you're wondering," she added. "You'll just have to put up with me spending about two hours in Gladrags, okay?"

As the couple sat there, Cho's tears abated. But her melancholy had been replaced not with comfort (though it was undeniable the most comfortable place in the world was in Harry's arms), but something else...almost like dread mingled with fear.

* * *

Gladrags always amazed Cho. Though she had been going there for as long as she could remember, the sight of so many racks of clothing always inspired her, that something like a shop could expand to such a size.

She dashed into the store, leaving a wide-eyed Harry (arms already laden with shopping bags from Honeydukes - as if Cho was actually going to eat the candy) to follow her. As far as he was concerned, he had never seen a larger store. She marched right up to the witch standing behind the counter and asked where the dresses section was. The witch pointed to the left and Cho hurried off in that direction. Harry slowly followed.

I've got to find the perfect dress, she thought, but there are so many to choose from. Let's see, there's that red one - too revealing, not to mention expensive. This one's nice, but I'd look terrible in that color. Umm...ugh! That one's ugly, not getting it. C'mon, there's bound to be one here...wow! Look at this one!

Cho reached out for a midnight blue-colored strapless dress. It was made of some silky material and the dress was pretty full, trailing a bit in the back. Just right, she thought, simple yet elegant, but there's something missing...a robe? She placed the dress over her arm and walked over to the rack of dress robes. I need something that's this same exact color and material...this doesn't look too bad.

She looked carefully at her selections. She hadn't expected to be finished this early, but would these fit? They did seem awfully narrow about the waist. Well, let's try these on then...

"Done!" she exclaimed jubilantly to Harry as they left the shop, hand in hand.

"I thought you said it would take 'two hours'."

"Yeah, well, I found what I was looking for pretty fast."

Harry felt pretty good. This was the happiest he had seen Cho in quite a bit and it made him feel much better knowing she was content.

"Can I look?" he asked jokingly, craning his neck to peer into the bag.

"No way! You've got to wait until Christmas, Harry!"

Harry started to tickle her, and though she continually protested with a "Stop it!" she laughed until tears of mirth formed in her eyes. She wanted him to keep doing this as she hadn't felt so exhilarated since...well, she couldn't remember, but that was beside the point. She wanted to release everything that was pent up in her soul - joy, sorrow, pain, pleasure, just to let it all go.

But then he stopped and directed her gaze to a sidewalk café across the street. It was a quaint little place, a little out of place due to the fact huge shops surrounded it. It had been a favorite destination of Cho and Celeste, prior to either of them having boyfriends.

"It's Hermione," he whispered as if Hermione could hear him.

Cho's laughter ceased to be, as she looked Hermione. The sight struck her as strange. There was only one person around her: Malfoy. To her surprise, however, they weren't snogging. Hermione looked furious enough about something to be red in the face and Draco appeared more supercilious than ever. What was going on?

"Think they had a row?" she asked.

"Maybe. With Hermione now, you never know."

"Well, whatever's happening, Malfoy seems pretty pleased with it. Hermione looks like she got a D on her essay."

"Yeah, they don't seem like much of a happy little couple at the moment," Harry said. "I think I'll tell Ron this," he added with relish.

"It might cheer him up," Cho said slowly, "but I have a feeling he won't care."

"What? Ron not caring about Hermione?"

"You saw him after he was done talking to Celeste."

"So you think he fancies Celeste?"

"Probably."

"Well, I already asked him that. He still likes Hermione for some reason."

"This is unbelievable!" Cho yelled, going completely off tangent. "Look at them!"

Hermione and Malfoy were now kissing over the table, the flush in her cheeks now gone.

"Blimey," Harry muttered. "One minute they're tearing at each other's throats and the next snogging in full view."

"I don't get it either. But, um, want to go back to the castle? We're going to be late for the feast otherwise."

Right, like I'm even going to go.

* * *

"Come on, Cho. Can't you even go to the feast? It's bloody Halloween! You have to go! You can't miss this!"

"I told you, I'm not going," Cho said calmly, though inside she was fuming. Why does everyone care? I'm not mortally wounded, I'm not dying, why can't they just leave me alone?

"IT'S BLOODY HALLOWEEN!" Celeste screamed from across the room, her hands balled up into fists. "NOW YOU ARE COMING DOWN THE FEAST RIGHT BLOOODY NOW OR I'LL CURSE YOU!"

"Don't bother getting worked up, just go down to the sodding feast yourself," Cho said, staring intently ahead at Olde and Useful Potions.

"NO, I'M NOT LEAVING UNTIL YOU COME WITH ME! Dammit, I wish knew the Imperius Curse!"

"Celeste, just go by yourself, okay?"

"You know what?" she said menacingly. "I think your 'diet' is going too far. I appreciate your wanting to look great and all; you're pushing the limits here. You haven't eaten a decent meal in forever, can't you just have one?"

One decent meal...Cho had almost forgotten what a "decent meal" tasted like. The blend of rich flavors had all but left her memory, and she inwardly cursed Celeste for bringing it back. Oh, how could I renounce it all? Just let me have one more meal. It can't hurt, can it?

You're going to ruin it...don't you dare go...

"I...I can't go, okay?"

Celeste rolled her eyes.

"Hey, I'm hungry - " (Cho's stomach gave an audible growl) " - and I'm going down to the Great Hall. I'm not going to waste my time trying to convince you to come, 'cause obviously you're just being stupid and stubborn."

"I - "

Cho opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. Celeste was gone, and Cho was the cause of it all. Celeste? Oh, what am I doing? Perfection, perfection! This is all going to cost me my friends!

Yeah, whatever you have left of your friends...

Oh, I want to stop this all! I want to end it!

Why? You've made such progress. You've even managed to buy a dress for the ball you know you wouldn't have fit into a couple months ago.

Cho sniffed, trying to keep tears from falling again. It spoke the truth. She had made progress, and she simply couldn't give up now. Hadn't that been what she had preached herself everyday? Persistence, determination, without those cornerstones her life would be more worthless than it already was.

But was there a limit to these virtues?

Could I have been too persistent and too determined? So much that I've pushed myself away from Harry and Celeste, the two people who matter most to me?

Don't worry about them. Just think: perfection! Once you have that, you can have all the friends you want.

But I just want to be accepted without having to be all superficial and popular again...

* * *

And in no time at all, Hogwarts was layered with a light sprinkling of snow. Students went to bed that night, only to wake up to more of it descending from the sky, making Hogwarts look very picturesque. Not only were snowflakes flying about though. Rumors about the Christmas Ball flared up almost overnight: who's going with who and who's wearing what, as well as what Dumbledore had planned for the event.

Cho's continual absence from the Great Hall during meal times made her more talked about than usual, and while she was quite used to people gossiping about her, this time, it bothered her more. Why can't they just shut up and leave me alone, she though bitterly on the last day of class before the holiday began.

The school was still very crowded, even after those who were going to depart had left. Virtually all fifth, sixth, and seventh years remained as well as younger students, who were eager to join in on all the excitement.

Cho had not talked to Celeste for weeks now, the last time being when Celeste had asked her for a watering pail in Herbology. While this lack of communication troubled Cho (she could not remember the last time such a huge rift had developed between her and her friend), she hadn't much time to dwell on it. Only a week before Christmas Cho had achieved her goal of 105, and that, she thought, was the best present she had ever received

It had asked her to set a new goal, but after much pleading, It had finally given away to Cho's wishes. For once, she wanted to relax during the holidays, and watching one's weight is definitely not the correct way to go around doing that. It had reminded her to continue the diet, and to this, Cho had complied, albeit slightly reluctantly. Her Honeydukes bags sat by her bed, where she could look at them and think of the pure joy something as simple as chocolate could bring...

"So, um, Celeste?" Cho asked meekly the night before the ball.

"Yeah?" Celeste did not look up from the letter she was writing.

"Are you going to the ball with anyone?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Well, it's because - so far - nothing's happened between you and Ron since you went and cheered him up. Did what you said to him have to do with the ball?"

The scratching of the quill paused.

"It might," Celeste said after a while. She went back to her writing. "Why do you ask?" she repeated.

"Because I care about Ron, too, in case you don't know," Cho said bitterly, angered her friend refused to tell her anything.

"No, you don't. You don't care about anything else or anyone else other than your bloody diet and yourself."

What? What does she mean I don't care about anything other than myself? I care for her, for Harry, for Ron, don't I?

"Celeste, I - "

"Tell me, Cho, is it that hard just to say sorry and admit you were wrong?"

What? Is that all Celeste had wanted? A simple "I'm sorry"? Oh, I really don't understand people, do I? Not even my best friend? Can't I just tell her what I'm doing?

"Celeste, I'm really sorry," Cho mumbled, looking down at her feet, eyes tearing up. Dammit, why do I always have to cry?

* * *

Celeste looked at her friend, looking so pitiful. As much as she was irritated with Cho and her selfish behavior (What had gotten into her? Cho used to be so selfless and now - ?), she bit her lip and it pained her to see Cho like this. After all, they had been such good friends...

...It was almost like yesterday, really. It was during their first Transfiguration class, and they both had performed so spectacularly horrible Professor McGonagall asked them if they could stay after class to work a little more. A third year class filed in with Celeste and Cho waiting anxiously in the back. McGonagall was giving a lesson on Animagi, and, to the class's great amusement, she transformed into a cat and back. Before the class could react, a tiny giggle escaped Cho. Celeste looked at her for a second and then burst into a fit of laughter, confirming to many of the third years they were mental. After receiving a little extra help and a stern lecture, they left the classroom and both fell to the ground, giggling...

Celeste smiled slightly. Oh, how far they had come since then.

* * *

"Cho, it's okay," Celeste said softly, reaching down to hug her best friend, feeling the tears brush past her. "Just tell me what's wrong, okay?"

I've got to. I can't just keep something this big hidden. Cho took a deep breath and began explaining about her jealousy for Hermione, how incredibly inadequate she felt around Harry, but nothing on her search for perfection. She did say she went on a diet so she would feel more comfortable around Harry and his friends, however.

Cho waited anxiously for Celeste's reaction. She had spent the last twenty minutes ranting, and thought she sounded a little insane.

"Well, that's just silly," Celeste said.

Cho gaped. What?

"This whole 'Harry's not going to like me 'cause I'm fat' attitude. Two flaws, girl. Firstly, you're not fat. Secondly, Harry would like you even if you were fat, which you aren't. So, I understand how you've been feeling, but can't you just drop the damn diet? It's so stupid and pointless and I don't see why you're doing it anyway."

Dammit, maybe I should have told her about - No, I won't. C'mon, think of something, genius...

"So, have you gotten a dress yet?" Celeste suddenly asked. Cho breathed a sigh of relief.

"Yeah, I got it back in October."

"Damn! That's early! Huh, no wonder you didn't go to the most recent Hogsmeade trip - " (I was doing stuff with Harry, Cho thought slyly) " - because I was looking for you there. Thought you might be able to give me a little advice as to what dress to wear, but, oh well."

"So, are you going to the ball with Ron?"

Cho wouldn't let her leave without knowing this. Celeste paused to think. Well, she did tell me what was wrong with her. Guess it wouldn't hurt to reveal my plan.

"Yeah, I am going with him, but not because I fancy him. I mean, I like him, but just as a friend, you know? Well, I think it's kind of obvious Hermione likes Ron, just a little, if anything, and all we've got to do is make her jealous."

"What?"

"Trust me, no one in their right mind would go out with Draco Malfoy, so there's probably something going on behind the scenes we aren't aware of. All we have to do is make Hermione jealous of Ron, jealous enough to break up with Draco, then she'll yell at me for stealing her longtime crush, and curse me or whatever the hell she wants to do. Then Ron's going to say that I was just this huge distraction, 'break up' with me, then hook up with Hermione."

"And tell me," Cho said, thinking Celeste was just too smart, "how exactly are you going to make Ron jealous?"

"Well, you know, dancing, flirting, snogging, that stuff."

"I see," Cho said.

"What, you don't like it? Do you think it'll work?"

"I totally love the plan. I know I'd never be able to think of that. As for it actually succeeding, you're really going to have to try hard."

"I don't think so, though. I'm gonna have to try, make it seem really, obviously, but I think Hermione's affections for dearest Draco are waning. You saw them."

"And - " A slightly glazed look went over Cho's face.

She swore she remembered seeing the two of them together...somewhere. But where was it?

"And what?"

"Nothing, it's just - just I thought I saw Hermione and Malfoy together...somewhere - but I can't remember!"

"Behind Honeydukes?"

"That's right!"

"Really?"

"No, I saw them at Hogsmeade near Halloween!" It was all coming back to her, the sight that had her utterly perplexed. "Harry and I were leaving Gladrags and...and we saw them at this little café, the one where we used to go to together."

"Ah, that place, I remember!"

"It was really weird. They both looked like they just had a row. Hermione looked really angry, but Malfoy wasn't. Then the next second they're kissing."

"Like I said, her affections are waning. I don't think she really likes him."

It wasn't until past midnight did they stop discussing Hermione, Malfoy, and Celeste's plan. Meanwhile, Cho promised herself she would try to be a better friend to not just Celeste, but everyone else.