Second Door to the Right

Chapter 5: Perfection

Cho collapsed onto her bed, clutching onto her present, Celeste bouncing up and down on her own bed, which was to the right.

"Harry must be so sweet," Celeste sighed, hands over her heart, "to have bought you that. Must had cost a lot since it's of really good quality."

"Yeah. And, by the way, did he send you an owl, oh, some time ago?" Cho asked in a somewhat offhanded voice.

"What? Offended by my talking to your boyfriend?"

Cho smiled.

"No, but what did you tell him?"

"Oh, he just asked me what you liked, your hobbies, the like. Think he was looking for present ideas. And he bought a pretty nice one, too."

"Yeah."

Though Celeste obviously wanted to hear more of the date, Cho wasn't too keen in letting her know of her slight emotional collapse this innocent looking present had caused. Shameful, Cho thought, letting Harry see how weak you are, how you let your past get to you, crying in front of your own boyfriend, you imperfect little -

Imperfection.

The word echoed through her mind, though she tried her best to block it out, it felt like someone was just screaming it over and over again, forcing it down her throat. She was entering her own personal hell again, the hell where she was imperfect, where everyone told her she was imperfect, where she knew she was imperfect, through and through...

"So, did you guys kiss?"

"Yeah, but nothing you would enjoy," Cho said, winking.

"No snogging behind Honeydukes?"

"None, but I'm betting Hermione was there."

Celeste was suddenly more interested.

"She was at Hogsmeade? With who? Half the guys in the school?"

"Just about, give or take a few. Her outfit was, well, interesting. There, we'll leave it at that, okay?"

* * *

"It was simply the most disgusting and nauseous thing I've ever seen. Ugh. I don't know how she can take snogging with a Slytherin. Mind you, you'd have to kill me before I'd kiss one."

Harry was equally disgusted with what he heard of Hermione's behavior. Kissing was one thing, but with a Malfoy?

"So," Harry began slowly, "are you going to, you know, confront Hermione with this?"

"I - I don't know, maybe later."

Ron was still suffering from his observation, and it pained him to see Hermione do this to herself. Every time he thought of it, his heart wrung with sadness and a new wave of hatred engulfed him. Hermione, his longtime love, now gone off to snog with some useless Slytherin. And a Malfoy!

"So, um, how was your date with Cho?" Ron asked, not wanting to dwell on the subject of Hermione and Malfoy for much longer.

"For the most part, it was pretty good. I got her this - "

But then the image of Cho crying flickered in front of his eyes, the flowing tears, and he knew he just couldn't tell this to Ron. Harry had never known such problems to plague someone who seemed as perfect as Cho. The thought that there might be more something more to her than her spotless veneer had never occurred to him.

"Got her what?"

"No, er - nothing. Never mind."

* * *

Cho lay in bed, her eyes fixed on the ceiling, unable to sleep, while her fellow roommates were resting peacefully, their dreams pleasant. She had tried to play the piano music quietly, but soon after, Celeste had sat upright, eyes still shut, and muttered, "Time for class already?"

So much for calming music to soothe her to sleep.

So another night to face insomnia.

Another night to be confronted by lurking thoughts...

The memory of herself crying and losing her composure in front of Harry came to mind yet again. Cho buried her head in her pillow at the thought of it, totally mortified.

How could you let that happen, you pathetic girl? How could you let him see you that way? Weak, hopeless, that's what you are, unable to control your own emotions to keep a straight face.

I couldn't help it! I just happen to have those painful memories and -

And what? Why did you just happen to start crying right there? How could you have been able to keep those oh-so-painful memories from leaking out before? Why now?

It's because of Harry! Oh, he makes me feel so secure and free!

Harry matters not in this issue. It's you that's under the speculation. If you could have kept your mask on none of this wouldn't have happened, and you wouldn't be wallowing in shame and self-pity -

I am not wallowing in self-pity!

Right, you're just thinking how incredibly stupid you are to have let that happen. You know that shouldn't have happened. It doesn't matter with whom you are, you are to keep your face straight.

But I don't need to in front of Harry! He makes me feel so uninhibited! I can fly free when I'm around him.

But you shouldn't. You should never let your guard down. Ever. That's they way it's been and that's the way it will always be.

But Harry! Oh, just be quiet. I don't need you to tell me everything.

Oh, yes, you do. Don't let some guy of yours trick you into thinking you don't need me. Admit it, you'd be hopelessly lost without anyone to guide you. You'd just be this stinking piece of filth, lying on your bed, sobbing your life away. Oh wait, you already are one.

I would not! I'd have someone else! I don't need you!

Now, don't deny what is right. You know that without me, you'd be more imperfect than you already are...

I am not imperfect because if I am that strikingly flawed, no one would like me. And I do have friends. Celeste, Harry -

One...two...that's a pathetic list. What happened to your social life?

I don't need those people I used to call "friends."

Or maybe you do, you imperfect -

I AM NOT IMPERFECT!

Then why those thoughts today, huh? Those nasty little thoughts that came to you in Hogsmeade. You know you aren't pretty or smart -

Well, I'm smart and pretty enough for Harry, it seems.

But did Harry really go out with you because of that? Your "personality"? Or was it because he just thinks, "Oh, look at Cho. This pathetic little girl who needs someone to help her through her own worthless life."

No, no, that's not right, Harry likes me because I'm me, because I'm Cho...

Eh, I wouldn't be too sure. Because if you really believed in what you were saying, you wouldn't be having all these doubts...

"Shut up," Cho murmured, breaking free of the internal conflict that had been possessing her for as long as she could remember. That Other Voice, the one that always doubted her and her actions, the one that always emerged when she doubted herself and her actions. How she wanted to do away with It, but yes, she was eternally grateful to It for It had kept her from breaking down and crying in many other situations. But now, more than ever, she wanted to be rid of It, she wanted to be, well, herself, free and unhindered.

Imperfect.

Go away.

You know you're imperfect, and you know you want to be perfect above everything.

Sod off.

No point in saying that. You know you want to be perfect, because you know that when you're perfect, you'll be smart, beautiful, everything you want to be. Perfection encompasses all of it. You know you want to be perfect.

No, I-I don't.

Don't deny this. Deny anything else, but not this. You know all you want is perfection.

No, I don't.

Tsk tsk, you know you want it.

No, I don't.

Perfection.

"No, I don't," she muttered, feeling sleep pulling her away into nothingness...

She was standing in the middle of a room, chains about her wrists and ankles. People were surrounding her on all sides, pointing at her, jeering, making cruel faces. Harry stood larger than the rest, pointing at her, sneering and yelling, "That's the Imperfect One!"

"Hey, Cho, wake up."

"Don't...don't say that about me..."

"CHO!"

"What?"

Cho rubbed her eyes, wondering how she was suddenly back in her bed, the girls' dormitory in the Ravenclaw Tower. Then she remembered it was merely a dream, nothing more. Just a dream. But thoughts of last night returned, the thoughts of being flawed, imperfect...

"Get changed. The food's going to be all gone by the time we get down there."

"No, it's okay, Celeste. Don't wait for me. I'll be down in a second."

After giving Cho a very unconvinced look, she skipped out of the room, looking forward to a comforting, warm breakfast. Cho waved a hand in farewell, though her thoughts were everywhere but saying goodbye to Celeste.

Maybe It's right, she thought, curling up underneath the covers. Maybe I am imperfect, and maybe I want to be perfect more than anything.

You see? That's exactly right!

Cho smiled slightly. It was the first time she could remember that It agreed with her. It gave her a slight burst of confidence, knowing she was at least backed in some form.

But how to become perfect?

Well, perfect in one area, then the other.

True. That way I can stay focused.

Very right.

So, in which area would be easiest to perfect?

I would think that would be obvious, Cho. Academics!

Right, why didn't I think of that?

You're pathetically stupid?

Shut up. It wouldn't be impossible to be perfect that way, would it? I mean, I'm sure a lot of people already are.

Like Hermione?

Don't. Say. That. Name. I despise her.

But she probably has perfect grades in all of her classes. She probably has had perfect grades all throughout Hogwarts. If a fifth year can do that, surely you can as well.

Hmm, last year, Celeste -

Why are you friends with her? She's imperfect as well. It must be contagious.

Shut up, will you? She's my best friend.

Well, suit yourself.

Well, as I was saying, last year, Celeste and I pulled up our grades quite a bit, and I think if I did just a little bit more work, maybe everything will work out.

Cho was quite pleased with herself, so she quickly changed into her robes and headed downstairs into the Great Hall. The chatter of students seemed so inviting and suddenly, the thoughts of imperfection disappeared, leaving Cho and only Cho, her life and only her life.

"Anything good to eat?" Cho asked, not feeling too hungry.

"Yeah. Everything! Okay, okay, um, the coffee's nice and fresh, if you'd like something to wake you up. Not like you really need any caffeine, no classes, it's a Sunday!"

"But," Cho pointed out, remembering a certain conversation she had this morning, "we have our homework to complete. The Herbology essay is due tomorrow, and I'm only halfway done."

"Damn!" Celeste yelled, throwing her fork down, attracting many stares. "I knew there was going to be something to ruin a day as perfect as this."

Cho's stomach lurched, hearing the word "perfect". But at least I'm trying!

Congrats. Just keep working. And don't slack off and become pathetic again.

Oh, don't worry. I won't. I'll work harder than even last year.

That's the spirit.

* * *

Harry thought Cho was unnaturally jumpy this morning, her eyes darting in random and unpredictable directions, food sometimes falling from her fork without her even noticing. Cho, who had always been so methodical, so focused, seemed disarrayed.

Maybe it has something to do with what happened on our date, Harry thought, pondering her behavior. Ron, too, seemed preoccupied.

"Mate, what's up?" Harry asked in what-would-be casual voice had he not been thinking of Cho.

"Should I tell Hermione what I saw her do in Hogsmeade?" he spat bitterly.

"Depends on what you want. I dunno, but maybe you should. Let her know what she's doing before something worse happens, if you know what I mean."

"Maybe, but she'd deserve it."

Harry was taken aback at the animosity he was showing towards Hermione.

"But Ron, I thought you said you fancied her."

"Harry, stop being such a dolt. Of course, I fancy her, but that doesn't stop me from being bloody ticked off at her."

At this, Harry dropped the subject and hoped never to pick it up again.

* * *

"Cho, what's this? The tenth time you've revised the essay?"

"It's got to be perfect," Cho said, scanning through her roll of parchment.

"Well, it's absolutely perfect outside, and I really want to go!"

"You can go yourself. I'll meet you there when I'm done."

Celeste rolled her eyes, a sign that she was unbearably impatient.

"If it wasn't for me telling you about outside, you'd think nothing in the world mattered more than this essay!"

Cho ignored her friend's words, though she knew they were most likely true. But this essay does matter! If I can get a perfect grade, oh, what a sweet victory that would be! Then if I can just keep on getting perfect grades on all of my homework assignments and exams...I would have reached my goal!

No, you wouldn't have, silly girl.

What? What more do you want from me? No one can do more than perfection.

I didn't mean that, you moron. There's more to life than academics, in case you've gotten too wrapped up in this essay already. You've got to work on your looks, your behavior, and the like. Not to mention you need to be able to maintain all of this at a perfect level, and if not, well, say goodbye to your quest for perfection.

Hey, can't I just focus on this one essay at a time?

No, you can't! Because if all you're focused on is this damn essay, you'll never be all-around perfect. You need to see the big picture.

You're impossible.

No, you're the one that's being impossible. You're letting yourself doubt again. Remember, perfect people are confident people.

I'll work on the confidence issue later.

You won't be able to avoid it...

Sod off, already. I'm almost done with the essay -

"Finished!" Cho proclaimed, cheerily rolling up the parchment.

"Thank heavens, I was about to snatch that out of your hands and tear it up."

"Well, if you did, I would never forgive you."

"I'm sure you would, someday," Celeste teased. "Okay, now let's go! Time to savor the beauty of nature!"

Beauty.

That's right.

That's what I'll have to work on, after I've mastered academics.

Cho carefully placed her essay in her bag and headed out the door, eager to feel the sun beating down on her face. The two strolled down to the lake and sat down on the grass. Celeste produced from her bag some rolls she had taken from breakfast.

"Fancy a snack, Cho?"

"Sure," she replied, taking one of the rolls Celeste was holding.

"Who're you looking for?"

"Who do you think?"

"Hmm, let's think about this," Celeste said in mock concentration. "Possibly Harry?"

"Wow!" Cho said sarcastically. "I never thought you'd guess him."

As if on cue, they were soon approached by Harry and Ron.

"Mind if we join you two?" Harry asked, but sitting down next to Cho and putting an arm around her anyway, turning her a brilliant shade of red.

"No, not at all," Celeste said, tossing her curly hair to one side. "Want something to eat?"

Ron, who hadn't been able to pick anything up at breakfast let alone swallow, hungrily snatched the remaining rolls out of Celeste's grasp, frightening her slightly. It wasn't until he had finished the second did he offer Harry the last one.

"You can it eat it all, don't worry, I'm not hungry," he said, looking at Cho, the two of them smiling.

Neither of them said much for a bit, and Cho was merely looking at the clouds ambling down the avenue of blue, but their pleasant silence was cut by an arrogant, "You won't mind if we sit next to you?" from nearby.

"Oh, it's you," Ron said, wrinkling his brow. "Malfoy."

"Oh, do you have a problem with me sitting here with my girlfriend?" he asked sarcastically. "Well, I never would have noticed."

Hermione giggled, and Harry painfully remembered that when Malfoy would make snide comments just as the one she just witnessed, she would usually do something in retaliation. But now...

"No, I don't have a bloody problem with you sitting here with your bloody girlfriend," Ron muttered, equally sarcastic, placing careful emphasis on the word "girlfriend".

"Why, are you jealous?"

"No, why would I be?" he retorted, but his ears turned pink.

"No reason. No reason at all..."

Hermione leaned in to give Malfoy a quick kiss on the cheek. Ron muttered something very obscene under his breath.

"What was that you said, Ron?" Hermione snapped, the first time the two had spoken for a while.

"Why, nothing," Ron said delicately, "except that you're a traitorous little whore, breaking hearts all through Hogwarts. Let's call Rita Skeeter, shall we?"

"WHAT?"

Hermione whipped out her wand, but Ron was ready, his wand clutched tightly.

"You've really lost yourself this year, haven't you, Hermione?"

"What d'you mean?"

"Look at yourself. You've lost all of your real friends, you're flirting with just about all of the guys in the school, you're wearing these absolutely horrible clothes I've ever laid my eyes on, not to mention you're dating a Malfoy."

"Ron, I'm not a slut, if that's what you're saying."

"ARE YOU BLIND? YOU'RE GOING AGAINST EVERYTHING THAT YOU USED TO BELIEVE IN! YOU DON'T LIKE MALFOY, YOU ABSOLUTELY HATE HIM!"

Hermione laughed, the last thing Harry thought would happen in a situation like this. He noted Cho was watching all of this with her mouth hanging slightly open, her hand barely having a grip on the roll.

"Oh, Ron, I don't hate him. Maybe if you were more open-minded you'd see how mistaken you really are."

"MAYBE IF YOU WERE JUST A TAD MORE OPEN-MINDED YOU'D SEE YOU'RE MAKING THE BIGGEST DAMN MISTAKE OF YOUR LIFE!"

"Now, Ron," Hermione said threateningly, finally showing signs of frustration, "you're being incredibly unreasonable - "

"NO, I AM NOT YOU - BITCH!"

The roll that had been struggling to escape Cho's hand had fallen to the grass, its owner quite oblivious to that happening. But Ron must care so much for Hermione, even though she doesn't deserve any love...why -I thought he'd never say that to her, she thought. Harry knew how much Ron must have gone through mentally to be able to direct that word to Hermione. Ron not only loathed her with all of his heart, but he also loved her and prized her above everything.

For a moment, it seemed that Hermione's pompous expression twitched for an instant, as if she was going to cry. But then she remarked in a smug and almost carefree voice, "You didn't mean that, did you?"

Cho held her breath. What would Ron say to that? She looked at Malfoy, who was acting like the hero of some great battle. Ron, who appeared to be ready to blow up the whole of Hogwarts and yet ready to sob at the same time...

"No," he croaked hoarsely, looking down, wand hanging limply by his side, a defeated warrior covered in his own blood, "I couldn't ever really mean it, Hermione, because I love you, and I've loved you for so long, and I will always love you, even if you consider me rubbish. But you know what? I really hate you as well. I hate you when you've lost all sense as to who you really are. I know you can find yourself under all of that, but I'm not going to hang around and wait for you to do so. I've had way too much of you. Because when you're acting like this, I really hate you, so tell me when you've discovered where your heart truly lies."

And with that, Ron took off, bounding across the grounds, scrambling up the stairs, and sped through the front door of Hogwarts.

"Well," Malfoy drawled, looking back at Hermione, "that takes care of wittle wuve-sick Weasley."

A bunch of Slytherins nearby rang out with laughter.

"Yes, it did," Hermione replied, an odd and distant gleam in her eyes.

"Shall we leave, then, darling?"

"Of course," she replied in that same tone.

Hermione set off after Malfoy, though at an uncharacteristically slow pace. Harry, Cho, and Celeste looked at each other skeptically, neither of them sure of what to do. Celeste seemed even more dazed that usual, gazing off into the distance.

"So, Harry," Celeste said, the focused look coming back, "d'you think we could go up to the Gryffindor Tower and comfort Ron?"

"Well, you two are Ravenclaws, um, don't know if you two can come..." said Harry slowly, though he knew very well Cho and Celeste would be allowed in. Harry and Ron, in their second year, had snuck into the Slytherin common room, but then they had looked exactly like Slytherins due to the illegal Polyjuice Potion they had taken. Hermione was going to come as well, but she had used a cat hair instead of a human's, and that hadn't resulted in something pleasant...but Harry told himself not to think about her.

"Oh, forget about the houses," Celeste said airily, waving a hand in impatience. "No one will see Cho and me, anyway. Most of the school is outside. Besides, Ron needs a little cheering up."

"A Cheering Charm?" Cho suggested.

"No. No magic."

Wonder what Celeste's doing, Cho thought, marching back up the castle. After all, she was only recently acquainted with Ron.

"Look, hide behind that statue so the Fat Lady won't see you," Harry told them as they neared the Gryffindor Tower. "Then after I tell her the password and the door opens, just dash in when she isn't looking."

As they burst into the common room - no one speedier than Celeste - Cho suddenly halted, looking flabbergasted. Pages from various textbooks were flying across the room, and Ron was standing in the middle of all this, currently hurling An Intermediate's Guide to Transfiguration against the wall, many of the nearby portraits shrieking in terror.

"Ron, what the blazes are you doing?" Harry yelled.

"Getting rid of all my blasted books!"

"Oh, for heaven's sake, Ron, you need these books, now STOP!" Cho screamed, trying to make herself heard above the rustling papers. "Impedimenta!"

Ron (and the destroyed books) froze, a slightly surprised look residing on his face.

"I'm so sorry, but I had to do that so you wouldn't ear up the common room. Please try not to get the wrong end of the stick," Cho said in a genuinely sympathetic voice. "Reparo!"

The pages (frozen in midair) flew back to their rightful covers, and with a quick wave of her wand and a muttered, "Finite Incantatem," Ron - who, too, was floating a bit off the ground - was freed by Celeste and fell to the floor.

"Bloody hell, my knee," he groaned, rocking back and forth, hands clasped over it.

"It's not broken, is it?" Cho asked, biting her lip.

"Don't think so. And Harry, why are two Ravenclaws in the Gryffindor common room?"

"You can ask Celeste," Harry said gently, backing away.

Celeste walked over to Ron and took his hand. They went over by the fireplace.

"We don't want to be overheard," Cho hear her mumble, and Cho hadn't the slightest clue as to what was happening. Is this her idea of "cheering up"? And why couldn't she just use a Cheering Charm? Was there something more to this making Ron feel better?

Celeste muttered something, and a shimmering wall of, well, nothing appeared, enclosing her and Ron. Cho saw her lips move, but heard nothing.

"Have any idea what she's doing?" Harry asked, rejoining Cho.

"No. I guess this is what she's doing to supposedly make him feel better. I felt really bad for him, though, considering what Hermione did to him."

"Yeah, well, I don't really want to talk about her," Harry said bitterly.

"I can't understand why and how Ron can still remotely like her, after all she's done," Cho sighted, plopping down on the red sofa by where Celeste and Ron were deep in conversation. She noticed Ron looked a bit more cheerful. Huh, maybe what her friend was doing might actually work.

"I guess his love is 'undying' and all the rest of that romantic crap," Harry shrugged, sitting down right next to Cho, pulling her closer. But she resisted for a moment.

"It's not 'romantic crap'!" she replied, looking aghast. "I think it's really sweet of him to be so loyal, even if Hermione doesn't deserve it. It's not crap!"

"Okay, okay," Harry quickly said, putting his hands up. "Sorry, I didn't mean to offend you or anything. I just - well, couldn't think of a word and, I dunno, just used it, okay? No offense was intended for you or Ron."

"Fine," Cho said, giving up all pretense of being very disappointed with Harry, leaning towards him.

"What, have I mortally injured your soul?" he asked jestingly, running his hand through her hair, placing another on her hip.

"Oh, yes, I am sure I shall never recover," she murmured softly in what would have been a sarcastic voice had it not been dripping in tenderness. She was eagerly anticipating the rush that had filled her on previous occasions, when Harry had her like this, the freefall back into bliss...

"Well, that should be enough cheering up for now," came Celeste's bouncy voice, no longer carrying any of the seriousness Cho had seen her exhibit while talking to Ron.

Suddenly, Harry's hands were behind his back. Oh, bugger, Cho thought.

"Ron, you okay?" he asked.

"I'm great!" he yelled, giving Celeste a hug, who was an unbelievable shade of red.

"Well, I guess we better get going, you know, don't want to be caught here," Cho said quickly, gathering her possessions.

After leaving the Gryffindor Tower ("You're not of my house!" the Fat Lady had shrieked, waving a fan after them), Cho faced her friend, looking very suspicious.

"What was that for?"

"Cho, you will find out in due time," she replied serenely, already setting off down the stairs.

* * *

"What did she tell you?" Harry asked after Cho and Celeste had left.

"Can't tell."

"Why not?"

"'Cause I can't. Simple enough for you?"

"Will I ever learn then?"

"Yeah...you will...one day...but just wait."

* * *

The week came and went, and to Cho, without a trace. It was already Thursday, and time had never traveled this quickly. I suppose this is what happens when you invest all your energy into a single essay, she thought. But, reluctant as she was to admit it, the appeal of working so industriously was slowly fading. Even with It ranting about she was turning into a lazy ass, that fact soon became undeniable. Oh, whatever happened to those free days? Those free, unhindered, and uninhibited days? Had they just disappeared? Where were they? How could she find them? But they were gone, It had assured her. To be perfect is to relinquish freedom. But Cho wanted perfection so badly she was willing to forsake freedom.

"I will now be handing back your essays," Professor Sprout announced, producing a basket overflowing with rolls of parchment.

Cho was literally trembling with anxiety in her seat, and to her left, Celeste was slumping in her chair, throwing the occasional dirty look at Professor Sprout. This is it, Cho though excitedly. It's time to see if my work was worth anything!

"Good Lord!" Celeste grumbled, glaring at her essay (full of cross outs, ink blotches, etc.). "That's another bloody D. How am I supposed to become a blasted Healer with these sort of grades?"

"Perhaps you could work harder," Cho replied calmly, trying to suppress her euphoria at receiving an O. "There's still room for improvement. And, anyway, N.E.W.T.s aren't until seventh year - "

"You're sounding like pre-bitch Hermione."

"Well, I'm just telling you what would be most pragmatic to do at this point."

Seeing the incredibly frustrated look on Celeste's face, and realizing she wasn't being too much of help, Cho tried to be a little more optimistic. "Still, it's only the end of September. Take it easy, relax, you know?"

Privately, however, if anyone had told Cho to "take it easy" and "relax," she would have immediately erupted in protest and indignation.

You little hypocrite you...

Look, I know you're probably smirking, but what else was there to say? "Oh, Celeste, you're just such an idiot."

Probably.

I would never have told her that! She's my best friend -

- and she means so much to me and that stuff. So, anyway, good job on the essay -

I KNOW! I'M SO HAPPY!

Amazing how one's mood can fluctuate, eh? And don't interrupt me. As I was about to say, don't rest on your laurels. You've still got the Transfiguration and Potions essays to consider.

Oh! I completely forgot about those!

It's because you've spent too much time on that little Herbology essay. You've never realized that there could possibly be another - gasp! - world or even other essays.

Oh dear, what if I don't get an O on them both?

Say tata to perfection. I thought that was obvious.

"Class, you're dismissed."

Cho grabbed her schoolbag and headed out the door, not bothering to wait for Celeste as was customary. I hate arguing with myself, she thought.

"Hey, Cho! What's wrong?"

"Oh, Harry," she sighed, falling into his warm embrace, "I'm so worried about my grades."

"Are you failing?"

"No, just...just the essay grades."

"Hey, it's just a couple homework grades. I'm sure you've got the highest grade in your class and I'm even more sure that if you get T's, you'll still be the best."

Cho looked up and saw that only sincerity and encouragement could be discerned from his eyes. Very honest sincerity and encouragement. And she felt, for a very brief moment, unchained again, freed of bondage. Unable to find suitable words for this feeling, she merely said, "Thank you," and savored the feeling of Harry's arms wrapped around her.

"Hey, Cho, thought you said you weren't going out with Potter here."

"Well, I wasn't when you first asked," Cho said, frowning and pulling away from Harry. "Therefore, I wasn't lying."

"So, enjoying your little lip-locked embraces, dear?"

"Yes, much more than I've ever enjoyed being around you."

Caesar frowned as some people nearby became engulfed in giggles. He scowled at them, and the laughter immediately ceased.

"So I see. Then how come I didn't see you two behind Honeydukes?"

"Hmm," Cho said, assuming a face of concentration, "maybe we just didn't want to be seen? Did that ever occur to you?"

"Well," Caesar mocked, "I would think that having such an attention-seeking boyfriend would lead you to a place like that."

"Harry is not an attention-seeking prat, like The Daily Prophet keeps on saying!" Cho snapped.

"Indeed," he drawled, walking away.

"Oh, I absolutely hate him," she spat.

"I've noticed."

"Well, I've gotta go to class now. I'll see you around, I guess."

Thus for the second time that day, Cho felt her nerves rise. Professor McGonagall strode around the room, passing back essays. She saw mixed reactions from the students. Some were looking very downtrodden (Was it a D? A T?), others somewhat relieved (An A? E? Possibly an O?), and there were a few that couldn't be deciphered at all, try as she might. Cho observed Celeste looked slightly more cheerful, and this raised her own feelings a bit. Looking back down at her desk, wondering when she would learn what her own grade was, Cho's eyes widened significantly.

Written at the top of her essay was a red O.

Happiness!

* * *

"Now you aren't even looking at her! Has your loved burned out?"

"No," Ron remarked casually, flicking his wand in a feeble attempt to make his plate dance around in circles.

"Does this have anything to do with Celeste? Do you fancy her now?"

"Harry, you're hopeless," Ron chortled as Professor Flitwick summoned everyone's plates.

Leaving Charms, a figure shot past Harry, making some funny noise. But then he saw the flying black hair...

"Cho, HEY CHO!"

* * *

No, no, this is terrible!

See, this is what happens when you slack off.

An E! And I tried so hard on this Potions essay -

No, you didn't! You did it the night before, Madame Procrastinator. You're not just lazy! You procrastinate as well! Vile combination, don't you think? Huh, and you're the one that wants to be perfect...

Oh, you're right.

I always am.

I'm not perfect anymore.

You never were, dear.

With that, Cho broke into renewed sobs, banging on the bathroom stall door, sliding to the floor, unable to support her own weight. Her mind was devoid of all thoughts but one: The quest for perfection is over, and it has hardly even begun. She had tried to live a life of reason and rationality, but here she was, logic tossed aside, feeling only raw emotion tear at her, a helpless animal that lay dying.

Well, wasn't like you were perfect before this all happened.

I've failed!

Yup. That's what happens to people who aren't perfect.

What am I going to do now? Everything's damaged beyond hope. It's tarnished, torn!

Hopeless. Positively hopeless. Well, first, you might want to reclaim a scrap of dignity before it sinks to the bottom of the sea along with your perfection. Quit your useless crying and wash your face.

Sniffing, Cho righted herself and left the stall. Upon reaching the sink, she looked directly in front of her, the reflection red-faced, puffy-eyed, hair flying in every which way. Oh, what a fright I am, she thought. Though Cho had never prided herself on appearance, she knew (but would never outwardly acknowledge) that she had quite a few guys smitten with her looks. Back in her more popular days, she turned quite a couple heads, including that of Cedric's. Apparently, her silky locks and playful eyes had been a common target of the arrows of the dateless ones.

But that had ended last year. After news of Cedric asking her out had circulated through the school, Cho had unknowingly alienated many of her companions (she ceased to call them "friends"), all who thought Cedric was exceptionally handsome. Only Celeste had stayed by her side. Celeste, who was loyal enough to qualify for the Hufflepuff house...

Cho studied her complexion carefully. Her eyebrows formed two dark arches, cutting across her fair skin. From her eyes seemed to emanate a natural shadow, deemed by Celeste as "most becoming." The eyelashes seemed to curl slightly on their own, so Cho hardly ever found the need to perform an Eyelash Curling Charm. And the dark, soft eyes that seemed to enrapture all with its sparkling and dancing delight. Her lips were just right, and if they were not, then certainly her kissing abilities should more than compensate...

Yet something didn't feel right. Just a minor tweak, maybe, but something...

What was it?

She couldn't exactly discern as to what was wrong...but it was something...

But...

Pig.

...Pig?

Your stomach, oh hopeless one.

Cho ran to the mirror on the opposite side of the bathroom, where a very tall mirror was located. She hoisted up her robe, and looked at her stomach region. It gave a nasty lurch, and coupled with It's words, she was sure she'd pitch right into the mirror, shattering the glass.

You're fat.

I...I am?

Well, yes. Look at those reserves. You could not eat for two months and still live!

I could?

Think camels.

So I should go on a diet?

Caught on fast, didn't you? This should be simple enough for you.

But I can't just starve!

What d'you think you should do, then? Indulge in a seven-course meal?

Doesn't sound too bad, really, all the food -

No willpower, that's you! Are you this stupid! Perfection could yet be retrieved. Though you failed in academics, surely you shall fare better in the department of appearance. Look, all of your physical traits are simply wonderful. It's just your weight you have to worry about. Nothing else!

Hmm, you know, the way you put it, it sounds almost easy!

Don't sound so optimistic quite yet. Even though it is a wonderful fortune for someone as lazy as you are not to have to worry about anything else, it is still hard work. You'll have to establish a strict regimen of food, you'll have to set goals, and most importantly, you have to be able to actually follow -

- those goals and so forth. You know I can do that. Remember the O.W.L.s?

Don't gloat. This is different from academics.

Okay, thanks for the lecture. I'm hungry and I'm going to go straight down to the Great Hall to eat.

You're already starting off on the wrong foot! You need to master the impulse of simply wanting to eat.

Then what do you suggest I do?

Skip dinner.

WHAT? I can't just skip a meal!

Why not? You want to be perfect, don't you?

For a split second, Cho was halted at a mental crossroad. To her left was the well-trodden path, the path of least resistance, and to her right rose a steep and treacherous path where hardly a traveler had gone. I could simply go down to dinner, she thought, and give up on this whole attaining perfection thing. Or I could traverse the much more challenging path, the one that would lead to what I want the most -

- which is perfection. See, there you have it!

And once I'm perfect, it'll show my parents that I'm just as good as any son they would have had, and it'll show Harry that I am good enough company, even for him...

Cho suddenly remembered her brief fascination for Muggle poetry. There had been two poems that had touched her deeper than any others, and, to this day, still held a source of intrigue. One was W.B. Yeats' "The Stolen Child," a poem Cho thought symbolized her life impeccably. The other was "The Road Not Taken" by Robert Frost. It was the latter, however, that called to her. Though she hadn't thought of the poem for years now, she could still remember the last stanza: "Two roads diverged in a wood, and I, I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference." Yes, that was how it went, right? Yes, that has to be right! I should take the "one less traveled by" - meaning the road to perfection and skipping dinner - and that will make "all the difference"!

Too true, too true. Now get back to the common room. Oh, and don't forget! Even if you can't possibly be perfect in school, keep up your grades.

Don't bother me with such petty issues; of course I know that! Cho ran out of the bathroom, passing the Great Hall (Oh, the wafting smells and the sumptuous food! How could I ever renounce you?), and flopped on her bed. Okay, tell me what I need to do.

Well, you clearly can't just starve yourself. Gradually, that's how it'll work. So, breakfast: No more than five ounces of cottage cheese.

Merlin's beard! You expect me to live off that?

Yes, I do. Lunch, then: Small salad, no dressing. For dinner...actually, don't eat anything for dinner. And drink nothing but water.

You're bloody mad, I swear. How am I supposed to go without dinner every single day?

Habit, my dear. And aside from your incessant complaining, you still have to set your goal. How much weight do you want to lose?

Well, I'm 115 pounds...does 105 sound reasonable?

Sure, why not? So, I wish you good luck.

And with It's departure, Cho felt a sense of hollowness, and it wasn't completely due to the fact she hadn't eaten anything since midday. She thought she would feel satisfied, knowing she had accomplished something after failing so miserably, but she only felt empty. Her ears were full of an odd buzzing sound; she was staring up at the canopy of her bed blankly. 105, that's all, she reassured herself. Should be a hell of a lot easier than trying to get Os on everything...

A sudden wave of hunger washed over her, drenching her with dread, the tempest brewing in her stomach, and something deep inside her, completely separate from It, told her this wouldn't be easy...

Her stomach lurched again.

Oh no.

This definitely wouldn't be easy.