Poisoned

Chapter Fourteen

Where Draco needs to convince Ginny, who can't understand her willingness for being convinced

Ginny sighed for the fifth time in the last ten minutes. She calculated that she had been sitting on the floor of that broom closet for at least half an hour, but amazingly her temper hadn't risen.

She was upset, of course. Who wouldn't be? But she had to admit she knew it was coming for a while already. She had known since Hermione showed up in the common room with a letter she had claimed to have stolen from Dumbledore's office and a plan to take Harry to Hogsmeade. No one had suspected anything - neither Ron nor Harry - but Ginny knew enough to be sure that Hermione hadn't come up with that plan and all that information by herself.

She had had Draco's help. But why he would help her Ginny didn't know until Hermione asked to talk to her alone, minutes before they had to leave for Hogsmeade. Then, while they walked to that broom closet on the third floor, she understood everything.

Hermione's guilty and anxious look hadn't caused Ginny to pity her. Actually, she felt like kicking herself for not understanding things sooner, but apart from that, she was numb. She didn't even flinch when Hermione asked for her wand. And she walked inside that broom closet without complaining or resisting - she just walked, her head bent, sad and tired, knowing that Draco would come to see her at some time in the evening.

She knew he would come because he had chosen that broom closet to lock her in, the same broom closet she had ambushed him a couple of weeks ago, only to give him a quick kiss and tell him she had missed him.

At least that was what she had expected to say; but when he had looked at her so tenderly, stroking her hair in a possessive way, she had smiled and said, "I'm still your girl."

She had no idea what possessed her to say such a thing, but it was a relief when he didn't laugh at her sudden honesty, but merely kissed her before going to his class.

He had missed her too. He hadn't needed to tell her. It had been clear in the way he had looked at her that the only reason they wouldn't see each other anymore was because that night when Hermione had caught them had shown how careless they had been, and how dangerous it could have been had someone else seen them.

Except recognising the dangers didn't lessen the pain of being apart from each other, and she wondered what was keeping him from coming to see her. She wanted to see him, to hold him, and then, to shout at him for doing that to her; for making a deal with Hermione of all people just to keep her safe in the castle while her friends would risk their lives.

She didn't want to acknowledge the pain of being left behind. Should it happen to Hermione, Harry and her brother would be searching all over the castle, and wouldn't leave until they found her so they could go together. But they couldn't care if Ginny was there or not; she wasn't a part of their group and the few moments she had spent with them had happened only because she forced them to accept her presence.

Maybe that was one of the reasons why she felt so numb and unwilling to fight with Hermione. After seeing almost the entire Gryffindor house in the common room aware of the plans for that night and talking about the DA, she had understood they had continued their meetings and never bothered to tell her. Colin had a guilty look when he tried to explain, "You were so worried about the OWLs, and then you kept disappearing to study at night, Ron thought it would be better to leave you out of it."

They would never know how that killed her, when Dean had tried to comfort her by saying, "We were just trying to protect you."

Everyone kept trying to protect her, and she couldn't understand why they wouldn't just let her be. It's not like she was a complete incompetent - she had left the Department of Mysteries with fewer injuries than Hermione, so why couldn't they remember that before trying to push her away?

When Draco tried to protect her, it made her feel mad, but also kind of spoiled; as if he knew she could do it, but he just didn't want her to. But when her so-called friends tried to protect her, it felt like they were excluding her in a most vicious way, as if they were stating that she was not good enough.

It hurt so much to admit it that she felt the tears blurring her vision. She tried to dry them quickly, but her hand was half way to her eyes when the door finally opened and Draco entered, holding her wand up to light the confined space.

"That's scary," Draco said with an unusually gentle voice, kneeling down before her. "I had imagined I'd find you kicking and screaming at the top of your lungs, trying to curse me even without a wand. I never thought I'd find you crying."

She sobbed, not bothering to hide her tears anymore. Draco looked embarrassed, and for lack of ideas of what to do, he said, "I didn't say that to encourage you to cry, you know."

She looked at him, the pain very clear in her eyes. "Do you think I'm useless?"

"Oh, Merlin, no, I don't! I think your friends are useless, not you!"

Ginny smiled; with her state of mind she actually welcomed that insult.

"After spending this whole year studying with you, I know perfectly well how capable you are." He seemed to be preparing himself for what he really had to say. "I even received enough of your hexes to not want to be your opponent, but I needed to talk to you, and this is the only time we'll have, now that we're two weeks away from the summer holidays."

"I thought you had kept me here so I wouldn't follow Harry to Hogsmeade."

His look showed her she was right, and he sighed. "I know you hate me right now."

"I don't hate you," she stated. It was strange how his presence soothed her. "You're a Slytherin, Draco." She was smiling, but her voice betrayed sadness. "You wouldn't let things go my way. I learned that about you, and I can't even mind that anymore."

She had felt so tired and numb a few moments ago, but now she was just curious. She wanted to know what he would say and, most importantly, she wondered why he hadn't kissed her yet. So she kept looking at him, waiting for what he had to say, until he finally took a deep breath and said, "I don't think we should be apart from each other."

She smiled reassuringly at his anxious expression. "I don't think so either."

"But I can't stay."

Her smile disappeared while she tried to understand what he was trying to tell her. "And even if I stayed, we wouldn't be together, because of this fear that someone might see us. And what happens after I graduate?" He wasn't even pausing to breathe. "We are going to be apart again, and I'll be tied to my father, as you will be beside those friends of yours-" He interrupted himself for a second and looking tired and resigned, he continued, "The truth is that we won't ever be together if I stay."

She was completely silent, and her jaw dropped when he stated, "That's why I'm going to Beauxbatons for my last year."

She tried to collect her thoughts, but they were so frantic that it took her a while before she could ask, "So this conversation is about you breaking up with me?" Ginny hated how weak she sounded, and how cold her tears were while rolling down her face.

"No!" he denied so vehemently she jumped. "No, this conversation is about me asking you to come to Beauxbatons with me."

After long minutes, her silence was starting to scare him. "So? What do you think?"

She blinked as if she was waking up from a nightmare. "What do I think?"

"You don't have to sound so disdainful, you know?" His expression, that had been so hopeful a few seconds before, was now cold again, as if he was afraid of showing too much of his feelings. "Beauxbatons' curriculum is very strong in Charms, and it would be a way for you to have a different life. You told me you wanted a different life, remember?"

"Bonjour is all I know of French, how can I-" she sighed, shaking her head as if he wouldn't understand.

"It's an opportunity to learn." Even though his face showed nothing, his voice showed how uneasy he was. "I'll lend you a book, you'll study over the holidays - and you remember Madam Maxine, don't you? She speaks English, she will help you!" he exclaimed, trying to convince her.

"How do you know she will help me?"

He sighed. "I talked to Professor Dumbledore and he thinks it's a brilliant idea."

"You told him about-"

"No, of course not," he interrupted her. "I didn't tell him about us, I just told him we were thinking about going away from all the confusion that's happening here."

"Except we were not thinking anything," she snapped, angry.

"Yes, he got suspicious about that," Draco confessed, standing up so as not to face her, "but he said that if you really wanted to go, he could help with the necessary arrangements."

Ginny was confused. She hated that she was actually pondering on his idea. Although she wouldn't show it, thousands of reasons to stay by his side were crossing her mind, strengthened by a twinkle in his eyes that she had never seen before and made her consider his idea as a good plan. But she shook her head and stated the first contrary opinion that crossed her mind. "I can't step away from my family and my friends like that."

"Why not?" He seemed indignant. "Why do you insist on pretending they're still your friends? Can't you admit that you already have stepped away from them, that you got a life of your own, a life that doesn't include them?"

"But it includes you," she stated very calmly.

Her lack of response was driving him mad. He was used to read her so easily, but now she seemed locked in herself, not showing what she was really thinking. The tears were no indication, because her voice was kept in a calm tone that betrayed nothing but confusion. "Is it so bad?" he finally asked.

He couldn't accept that she didn't see how different things were. He had seen it from the beginning how their friendship changed them; how she backed away from her friends and got closer to him; how she confided in him just like he confided in her, and how it set them apart from the people around them. Just like he couldn't stand being in the same room with Nott and his ideals anymore, he thought she wouldn't stand Potter and all his stupid beliefs of doing what's right. So how could she insist in including them in her life, when they had naturally drifted apart?

And Ginny desperately considered that maybe if Colin's voice, explaining why they hadn't told her about the DA meetings, stopped humming inside her head; maybe if Dean's expression of pity disappeared from her mind, she wouldn't agree with Draco. But the thought that she had talked to Harry so many times in those last weeks, to remember that she had believed he was at last confiding in her after all those years he had ignored her, only to find that she had fooled herself once more - she couldn't help but think Draco was right.

However, admitting it was admitting that she had lost her friends, and it made her feel so alone she clung to the only thing she felt she had left that could make her stay. "What about my family? Should I just leave them?"

"Didn't you tell me your mother doesn't want you involved in this war against the Dark Lord? She will feel relieved that you're away."

She grinned. "You really thought about it, didn't you?"

"It's the perfect solution, Ginny." His enthusiasm had returned.

Except his enthusiasm didn't reach her. Maybe he was right and it would make her mother happy; it certainly was what he wanted - but what about her? Could she give up her life for his plans?

She stood up, feeling almost claustrophobic in that confined space. Suddenly her lack of plans struck her. If only she had that perfect future pictured in her mind, she would compare the different prospects and think them through. But she never had any plans - she had spent years dreaming about growing up to become Mrs Potter, and when that dream died, she hadn't replaced it with anything. She had only planned for the immediate tomorrow - enter the Gryffindor team, study for Potions - trying to avoid thinking of what she wanted for a not-so-distant future.

She couldn't tell when Draco began to be a part of her future, but he had invaded her thoughts and now she couldn't plan anything without somehow including him. She still remembered - in fact, she had never forgotten, not even for one second - how it had seemed they were meant to be together; she, the little girl in need of a saving rope and he, the prince that would decide her fate. The perfect fairytale took shape in no more than a few seconds, down in the floor of the cold dungeon; and later had been reinforced while he looked at her among the snow, his grey eyes making her see how no one could ever take his place and make her happy.

That feeling seemed too real to be ignored. She had already considered how dramatic it looked; and she had laughed it off when she had tried to say it out loud, but it was impossible to dismiss it. Perhaps she had been poisoned by fairytales - that was the only explanation for that irrational feeling.

Then she realised it didn't really matter. Even if she had been poisoned, the truth was that now nothing else would be enough, except for the fairytale itself; and going to Beauxbatons could be a new start - new friends, new experiences, and even a new life.

So it hadn't been so hard to decide after all. It seemed perfect, really - she wouldn't have to listen to her mother constantly telling her how she would make a wonderful healer; and she could start from scratch and make new friends, friends that would respect her for what she was and never try to protect her because she was someone else's little sister.

But even though it was perfect, she still felt scared of what the future held for her. "What if it doesn't work?" she asked with pleading eyes. "What if I never learn French and never make friends? I can't go there counting only on you."

"You will be fine." He sneered, sure of himself.

"How can you know?"

"We'll be together, right?" he asked. "That's the whole point."

He shrugged, stating it so matter-of-factly that Ginny blinked, amazed at his ability to say such a romantic thing and still not sound romantic at all. She smiled, fighting the urge to hug him tightly and not let go.

On the other hand, Draco was so sure that was the best solution that he never thought she would refuse. To be honest, he did fear it, but he told himself that if she was reasonable, she would see things his way and agree with him. But now he was beginning to consider the idea that she could not accept.

It was a very scary thought. He had a whole future planned for them, and that future would start in Beauxbatons, a place where they would be away from their families and all the possible influences that could set them apart.

It seemed so logical. His parents had met in Hogwarts; her parents had met in Hogwarts - and there were many more couples that met while still at school, and were still married. Somehow it seemed obvious that Ginny and him would have a similar story.

So even if she refused to go with him, he considered after watching her expression change so many times in the last minutes, they could still be together. It would take longer, and it would be an ordeal to spend so much time apart, but they could make it. She liked him enough to wait for him, he knew that much. Thus he sighed, resigned, while pulling her closer to him. "You know what, you don't need to say anything."

She eyed him curiously, causing him to sneer again. "You're still my girl, aren't you?"

That wasn't really a question; it was a teasing, so Ginny thought it was better not to answer. She just hugged him, resting her head on his chest, and decided to pretend everything was alright, and there was no need to worry.

*~~*~~*~~*

It worked for a while, until the door opened slowly to reveal the headmaster with a strange twinkle in his eyes, who announced that the plan had worked well enough, and the Gryffindors were back from their visit to Hogsmeade.

He said it in a way that it seemed they had just been back from a harmless weekend trip. But while sitting in a chair next to Hermione in the infirmary, Ginny couldn't help but consider there was nothing harmless in what they had done.

Ginny smiled despite of herself while recalling Draco whining to Dumbledore after learning that several people went along with Harry, Ron and Hermione, "Have you placed a protection charm in all the students, or are the Death Eaters really incompetents?" He knew that too many people would call more attention, and that was why he had specifically told Hermione not to let anyone else come along to Hogsmeade. "I can't believe they let a bunch of under-ages escape unharmed again!"

Well, the under-ages were not that unharmed. Neville seemed to be in shock, holding what Ginny imagined to be his mother's diary and not letting go of it; Colin was catatonic, but Madam Pomfrey had assured her he would be fine in the morning; Dean had a few bones fixed, although he was still complaining of pain; and Hermione's speech - that was lost because of a curse she had received - had just been restored. Ginny wasn't sure if that was a good thing, because the girl hadn't stopped asking forgiveness since she had seen Ginny.

"Oh, Ginny," Hermione exclaimed, with teary eyes and a hoarse voice, "will you ever be able to forgive me?"

She considered not answering. Actually, she liked the idea of just sitting there, her arms crossed, eyeing Hermione so she could feel guiltier. That would serve her right. But she was too hurt to leave it that way.

"I can understand why Draco acted like that." Ginny kept her voice down, so no one could hear her. "I know him, I wouldn't expect anything else from him. But you?" Hermione hid her face in her hands, crying with Ginny's accusatory tone. "I thought I knew you. I thought you were my friend!"

"But I am!" Hermione shrieked, and Ginny looked around, worried that they would call too much attention on themselves.

"But I'm not like Harry, or Ron, right? On a scale, I'm less your friend than Ron is."

"No, that's not true, you know I consider you one of my best friends!"

"There are just a few things I don't understand." Ginny's voice was calm, but unsympathetic. "How come that you, who preached me against Draco, trusted him so easily when he offered his help?" She lifted an eyebrow. "And why didn't you tell Ron about us?"

"I thought it was best not to interfere."

Her anxious, pleading tone wasn't making any difference on Ginny, who was feeling particularly cruel. "You're always interfering in everyone's lives, because you always think you know what's best for us, so don't you tell me you just thought it was better to let me decide for myself, because that's not something you do."

Hermione looked so heartbroken that Ginny's heart melted a little. She was about to say she was sorry when the girl sighed deeply and finally muttered, "You should have seen you two together that night. You glowed." Her half smile was dreamy. "I remember thinking that's what magic is about, not those silly words we learn in the books. And that was the first time I ever considered the magic we do as silly."

She seemed so miserable and so lost in thoughts Ginny thought it was best not to interrupt her. She was considering to step away quietly, when Hermione looked up at her again, her anxiety showing in her voice. "Forgive me, Ginny. It's just that after seeing you together, things just seemed... unimportant."

And Ginny understood exactly what she meant.

*~~*~~*~~*

Ginny left the infirmary with the feeling that the decision had been made. Even still she felt uneasy when the headmaster stepped away from Madam Pomfrey to talk to her.

"Miss Weasley," he started, "I've heard you're considering transferring to Beauxbatons for your next year."

His deep, wise tone always had the power to comfort her, and she smiled, nodding.

"I talked to Professor Flitwick, and he was inconsolable. He told me you're his best Charms student."

Ginny blushed, and he continued, "But he also recognised you'd like Beauxbatons. Their curriculum in Charms is very strong, and he thinks you'd be more challenged there than you'd be if you stayed here."

"So you think I'm making the right decision?"

"Only you can know the answer to that question."

She nodded, ashamed of herself. But it felt good to have someone to talk about the matter, so she explained, "It's just that I am afraid of how much I can lose by going to Beauxbatons."

He lifted an eyebrow, but said nothing, so she continued, "I feel like that night in the Department of Mysteries, surrounded by doors and having to pick one. Except now I can't take a peek at what's behind the doors." She sighed. "It would be easier if I could see what's behind the doors."

"Well, your fear is perfectly understandable. You will lose some things and gain others with either door you choose;" he said in a fatherly tone, "therefore you're pondering about how much you can afford to lose. But you must remember that the door makes no promises." He smiled, filling her with hope. "It is only a door."