Returned From Superstition

Chapter Seven

Harry smiled awkwardly at Ron once more, like he was trying to justify the silence between them. But Ron was tired of being in the Infirmary so, short on patience, he sighed heavily and broke the silence, "So, I guess we'll be having the conversation we avoided so much, huh?"

Harry jumped on his chair in surprise. "What do you mean?"

"I mean there must be something important you want to talk to me about, because you have been here for half an hour and all you've done is smile strangely, groan, and say nothing." Ron sighed. "I bet it is about Hermione."

"No, it's just..." Harry took a deep breath and said, "You disappeared this two past weeks and you're just not around anymore. We've been wondering what happened..."

"I was trying to give you two some space," Ron interrupted in a tone that stated he was saying something obvious.

"That's not what we think..."

"No, you don't, do you, Harry?" Ron interrupted again, now in a resigned tone. "I suppose you haven't noticed how the two of you are around each other either."

"The two of us?" he muttered.

"Harry, something changed at that open day and I feel it. And I'm not talking about Ginny embarrassing our entire family by shagging Malfoy," he sighed, desolated, but soon recovered, "I'm talking about you and Hermione. It was already happening before, but that day it became obvious. You two... connected."

"Connected?"

"Yes, connected. Not like friends connect, like something more. You know." His tone was now almost sad. "The way she and I never did, and that's why we broke up."

"About that, Hermione and I have been talking about your relationship..."

"You have?" Ron smiled.

"What's the problem with that?"

"We never talk about our relationships."

"Of course not, you're too polite to say anything..." Harry said as he was apologizing.

"No, I'm not," he interrupted, laughing. "We're just too embarrassed to talk about it. And we never had a reason to do so."

There was something in Ron's tone that made Harry feel like he was trying to say something else, but he felt better to ignore it, so he continued, "Well, the fact is that she doesn't understand..."

"There's nothing to understand, Harry. She never liked me, not that way. I was just her childhood crush, and she was mine. Although I was ready for something more, she wasn't."

"You never gave her the chance to find out!" Harry exclaimed, angry.

"There was this time I kissed her, and do you know what she said? She said, 'Ron, you're my friend, we shouldn't be doing this.' Shouldn't be doing this!" Ron exclaimed, "She would never stop seeing me as a friend, and friends don't kiss each other." he sighed. "I won't lie and say I wasn't scared. I was terrified I was losing my best friend, and I wasn't sure she could be anything else. And then I thought; if we go on with this, we won't evolve into something else, and I will lose a friend. But by trying to make that work, I would have to spend more time with her alone and I'd lose you too. Just as she would. And when we finally realized we weren't supposed to be together, it'd be too late." Was it just Harry impression or Ron wasn't as undisturbed about it as he tried to show? "So I didn't break up with her. I just did what should be done before everything went wrong."

"So you liked her?"

"Of course I did. But I didn't know if I was in love with her, and she definitely wasn't in love with me, so what was the point?"

"She liked you, Ron."

"Nah, she just felt lost because it didn't work. But it wasn't working before and she refused to see it. We never connected. I couldn't stand her trying to be Hermione the friend, when I wanted Hermione the girlfriend. But that's what she'll always be, isn't it? And I couldn't like Hermione the girlfriend as I liked Hermione the friend, so what was the point?"

Harry was confused by Ron's words, and he couldn't understand what he meant at all. But one thing really bugged him. "What do you mean by connect?"

"Wake up, mate!" Ron laughed. "Haven't you realized how things are going between you? How you act towards each other? I've caught you watching her reading; I've seen her watching you practice Quidditch. There's something there, something she and I never had. A connection. Something that makes you two right for each other."

"This is not true!" Harry couldn't even conceive the idea.

"Think about it. Have you noticed how she's wearing her hair?" Harry nodded. "Have you seen Hermione talking to the other girls, how she's more feminine?"

He nodded again, wondering what these questions were for. "What that has to do with anything?"

"I haven't. I only know this because Padma told me about it." He paused so Harry could think about his words. "You're paying attention to her without anyone asking you to. You care."

"Like I always have."

"Always? You always cared?"

Silence. Harry couldn't say anything to deny it. He hadn't always cared. Not that way. So he changed the subject instead. "What about Padma? Do you like her?"

"Padma will never be my friend, and that's good. And I'll never like her the way I like you or Hermione."

"So what's the point of staying with her?"

"I like being around her. When we're talking, she makes me feel relaxed, like I had nothing to prove. I guess she makes me feel special. Even when we're not doing anything, it's different. It's like peace, but it burns." he sighed. "It feels good."

"Until when will it feel good? Until all the broom closets have been tested?"

"I don't know, maybe." Ron sneered at his friend's sarcasm. "Testing broom closets is a dirty job, but someone has to do it."

"I can't believe you're saying this!" Harry shouted in disappointment. "You can't even talk to her!"

"Who said that? I talk to Padma. She knows more about my life than you do." Ron smiled. "And it feels good, too, you know? The talking."

Harry didn't know how to explain, but he was scared. "Am I losing my best friend?"

"Just talk to Hermione, mate. See if it burns." Ron sighed heavily. "I won't pretend I know a lot about women, but I think you'll know if she's burning too. If it isn't, I was just a fool and got away from my best friends for nothing."

"But what if it is?"

"You'll owe me forever." Ron stopped and looked thoughtful for a moment, considering it. "For starters, I'll want a Firebolt."

*~~*~~*~~*~~*

Hermione watched Ginny brush her hair in the empty dorm, and she noticed the shadows in the girl's eyes.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk about it?"

"I'm sure." Ginny stated, turning to Hermione and smiling. "I have nothing to say. In five minutes I'll be crying franticly because I'm dating my family's worst enemy and it will never work, but right now I'm ecstatically happy."

Ginny had walked to the common room with Hermione after eating her breakfast with Malfoy at the Ravenclaw table - "The Slytherins would kill me if I sat at their table, the Gryffindors would kill Draco if he sat at our table, but the Ravenclaws are cool about it. Padma told me so." Ginny had explained when Hermione inquired what they were doing there.

And Hermione couldn't believe her eyes or her ears when Draco simply didn't say anything when she approached. He just stayed there beside Ginny. No sarcastic remark, no hurtful comment. Just a small, annoyed, murderous glance, but that was an improvement.

"Did you happen to see Harry in the Infirmary?" Hermione asked once Ginny sat on her bed beside Hermione.

"No. Was he looking for Ron?"

Hermione nodded. "But they're not back yet."

"Well, I think they have a lot to talk about."

"What do you mean?" Hermione suspected Ginny knew something she didn't.

And she was right. Ron had talked to Ginny when everything happened, so she knew exactly how her brother felt. It's not like she could tell Hermione everything, but she had to say something.

"I think there's a lot that they have to talk about. Too many things have been left unsaid, you know?"

Oh, yes, Hermione knew. She too thought there were many things that should have been said, but haven't.

She just didn't know why Ron would have to talk to Harry about it.

"Hermione, can I ask you something?" Ginny started, cautiously choosing the words. Hermione nodded so she continued. "How do you feel about Harry?"

"Harry is my friend..." she answered, but soon realized there was more in the question, just as the answer wasn't so simple.

She got up and walked to the mirror automatically, not paying attention to what she was doing. She just had to do something, and not just sit there, allowing Ginny to look at her when so many things went through her head.

Why was it so difficult? Since when did that question become so hard to answer?

Was it because Hermione dreamed about Harry when she slept? Or was it because those dreams were now fantasies that made her mind wander in class or in the library?

Harry always looked so good in those fantasies. But then again, he looked very good in real life too. The only difference is that he never kissed her in real life.

And she resented that.

There was it. The answer was as clear as crystal. But how could she say it?

"Do you want him to be just your friend?" Ginny solved the problem.

Hermione shook her head, not facing her friend.

"That's what Ron needed to talk to Harry." Ginny sighed. "We believe you two are not saying the things you should be saying, and we think it's time for you to do that."

When Hermione turned around, Ginny saw the tears in her eyes and felt bad for making her friend suffer. But Ginny knew how it felt. She remembered the day she had realized she didn't love Harry anymore. It was her moment of freedom - but the moment of catharsis is never easy, and she had cried desperately that entire day.

So she just let Hermione go, conscious that the pain would go away, and everything would work out for the better.

She felt terribly bad about it, though. A pain in her chest was screaming and telling her she had just hurt her brother - even if she knew it had been his choice to begin with.

"Why did you do that?" Ginny had asked months ago, watching Ron - the almighty Ron, the boy who never cried in front of people - cry like a baby in front of her. "Why did you let her go if you have feelings for her?"

And he had answered something so beautiful and so true, in a way Ginny never expected to hear Ron answering. He was so conscious of himself, and so conscious of his friends that it touched Ginny so much she couldn't think of what else to say.

"I'll always love her, but I want her to be happy," Ron had said. "And she won't be happy with me."

Ginny hadn't understood until then, when Ron had finally said, "I know how this will turn out, Gin. Harry will be happy and Hermione will be happy. And as long as they're happy, I'll be happy too."

Please, prayed Ginny silently, trying to hold back her tears, let it be true.