Quite Odd - The Memoirs of Ginny Weasley

Quite Odd

It was right peculiar that as soon as Harry defeated Voldemort the summer after his sixth year (my fifth, of course); everyone and their brother seemed to be begging the sorting hat to put them in Gryffindor. This wasn't the only odd occurrence either. I overheard a group of third year girls plotting to break into the boys' dormitory and steal all of Harry's unders. It was then that Colin Creevey announced to these girls that he knew of a peephole that looked right in on the boys' Quidditch locker room--and Harry's locker.

I can honestly say it was quite frightening to listen to Colin and those girls scream and giggle in excitement--more so than when we all heard Ron and Hermione have sex for the first time. I'm going to therapy for this now.

This was the year, of course, that Draco Malfoy and I fell madly in love. Not the Draco Malfoy you remember, I must say. That summer he sort of became sad and depressed. Straight out of Libertine's goth!Draco more or less.

We went all out, we really did. Draco and I both dyed our hair pitch black and wore blood red lipstick. We wore white bandages on our wrists because it made us look ultra depressed. Neither of us really cut ourselves, as we were much to scared, we just wanted to portray the whole gothic image well. But none of that is really here nor there.

We stayed out of the sun as well, so that we could be pale. That was easy for Draco because he was already really pale. But me, I have so many freckles and such a sunny complexion it was very hard work obtaining that perfectly depressed skin tone.

Instead of making out, as so many students were apt to do, Draco and I would glare at each other in passing. At meal times, I would cross my leg of his knee and we would stare at each other. As you can see, being gothic was terribly boring.

When we stared our gothic phase, Colin Creevey and Neville Longbottom finally came out of the closet. It wasn't as if we didn't already know they were gay; I knew they had been fucking since my 4^th year. It was so obvious anyway. The most amusing this about this whole relationship was Neville. As I managed to transform into this hideous pale freak, Neville transformed by learning a lot of glamour charms. One evening he had short brown boy hair, the next morning he came to breakfast with long chestnut curls and rouged cheeks. He borrowed quite a few outfits Hermione and myself, too.

But that wasn't good enough for Neville. He and Colin blacked mailed Professor McGonagall into using Transfiguration to turn him into an actual female right before Christmas break. Something about incrimination photos of her and Professor Sprout. But I don't like getting into that, as it's the one thing that completely squicks me. Needless to say, Neville was from then on known as Nora and Colin's blasted camera was finally confiscated.

As much as I don't like talking about Ron and Hermione, I guess I have to include them in my memoirs. Ron and Hermione fell dramatically in love, but that was a given really. After the trio (Harry, Ron, and Hermione for those of you not paying attention) battled Voldie and his evil gooneys, they felt some weird cosmic connect I suppose. Mum says it's because they have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. When she became an expert on muggle afflictions, I'm not sure.

Anyhow.

This is when they began having sex. Not sex like a normal person would. No, nothing like that at all. Ron and Hermione had mad wild rabbit sex. That was really all they ever did. Anywhere and everywhere they possibly could. Trust me, there is absolutely nothing even remotely sexual about History of Magic, however they were caught at it like horny dogs once on Professor Binn's desk.

But alas, all that sex would of course lead to a baby, I'm afraid. Hermione got preggers about the 2^nd week of September and suddenly in May, I was an aunt. Alexander Granger-Weasley. Would you believe Hermione insisted she have the professor who was administering the Potions NEWT's come with her into the delivery room so that she didn't miss the exam? I kid you not.

But enough about them. What everyone wants me to write about his Harry Potter. The Boy Who Just Wouldn't Kick The Bloody Bucket. Harry went mad. Honestly though, you had to have seen that one coming from a mile away. No one could spend seven years of his life trying to kill off some crazy dark wizard without feeling a little separation anxiety once you finally did kill him.

Mad Harry amused us all greatly. He pretty much turned into Professor Moody, running about rambling on about constant vigilance. He started sleeping in the common room broom closet because he swore up and down that it was safer there than in the dormitory. I think he was just scared of female!Neville.

The boy who had spent most of his 6^th year as the cockiest bastard at the whole school suddenly seemed scared of the girls that flocked to him in swarms. He started talking to himself. All the time, too. In lessons, in the Great Hall, at night. And then he started up with this stupid little song. "Ding-dong, Voldie's gone! Voldie's gone! Ding-dong, Voldie's gone! Voldie's gone! Harry Potter saved the day!" He also had t-shirts made up for himself and his fan club. "Harry Potter Saved The Day", they read. His fan club, which was headed up by Colin and Neville, wore them every Friday.

Quite odd that year after Voldemort was defeated.