The Truth About Trees

Chapter 3

More Depressing Notes

~*~

"Hermione, are you serious about all this?" I asked earnestly, half hoping she wasn't. The other half of me, the dark and cynical side, was secretly hoping for it. Then I wouldn't have to put up with them sitting there all the time. "I just can't see Harry acting like that. Let alone treating you like that."

"Well he has," Hermione said shortly, not looking me in the eye. I had found her on the way to the Great Hall and pulled her off to talk. If we didn't do it now I don't think there would be much opportunity since Harry and Ron are always around. "And it's making me feel terrible."

"Well I can see why," I agreed, looking out at the lake. It was an overcast, windy day. The water was turbulent, splashing against the shore and the trees around it thrashed at odd times towards the north. The air was crisp and I enjoyed the scent of it despite the less than cheerful circumstances for which we were walking around out here. "When did it all start?"

"After the Quidditch practice incident," Hermione confessed, still not looking me in the eye, choosing instead to look at the path we were on. "But I was noticing the lack of communication before that." She finally turned to look me in the eye. I held her gaze. "It's not a good situation Ginny. I love Harry but not the way he wants me to. He's my best friend, not my boyfriend. I don't want him to get hurt but I also can't stand it anymore. I have to get out of the relationship, but if I break up with him I'm scared of how he will take it."

Why did you get into the situation in the first place then? It's not like you couldn't see that the relationship wouldn't go anywhere. You've known the guy for seven years now, how could you not see that it wouldn't work? And how could you expect the relationship to last anyway? School relationships very rarely work out even if the couple did get married. Why bother? Why would you bother, Hermione?

All that roared through my head when she said that, but I couldn't voice any of it. She was obviously upset and my harping at her, no matter how realistic it seemed to me, wouldn't help her any. And she looked so tired walking there beside me. Not at all the strong willed girl I had come to trust and rely on.

"What do you mean your scared?" I asked her carefully. Did she mean that he could get violent? I would never dream of Harry doing anything of the sort. Harry was a hero; he didn't get violent with his friends, girlfriend or not.

"Harry has a lot of issues," she responded, once again diverting her eyes. "You don't see them on the outside, but they're there. They're always there, just waiting to be dealt with. I don't want to add to them and make myself vulnerable to others as well. I want to go back to being friends, not enemies."

Too late for that. Either way you're going to hurt him. I doubt things will ever be the same for the two of you. Perhaps he won't hate you, but there will always be that distance, that the two of you failed to fit.

Once again I didn't speak my mind. "I understand that," I said soothingly. "Have you talked to him about it?"

"I've tried," she said, looking at the turbulent lake. "He doesn't think that there is anything wrong. He says that I've just been working too hard to spend any time with him. Which is complete rubbish. I always make time for him."

"I know you do," I responded softly. Really I didn't. I have really been trying to avoid sitting with them lately. It's getting to be too boring to stand. They always seem to be together however. Hermione remained silent. "So what are you going to do about it?"

"Well," she began slowly. "Ron said that he would try and convince Harry that things just aren't working between us. To make him think that it was his idea to break it off." That struck me as wrong but I kept it to myself. "And Ginny, I need your help as well."

I looked at her sharply to see that she was looking at me hopefully. 'She's using you,' Malfoy's words rang in my head. 'Or can't you see that?' Shut up. Hermione would never do that to me. She's my friend. I looked at her hoping to see this in her eyes. All I saw was my friend in distress. Pushing my doubts away I gave her a reassuring smile.

"Of course I'll help you, Hermione," I said confidently, though I had doubts aplenty that I actually could. "What can I do?"

She smiled at me with gratitude. "I need you to talk to Harry and convince him to break up with me."

"What?" I gasped before I could stop myself. I can't do that. I don't know him that well, despite the fact that I have known him since I was ten, and it will seem mighty suspicious on my part if I just tell him that things don't seem right. How could I do that?

"Just talk to him," Hermione urged me. "That's all. Just talk. Tell him he doesn't look happy and that I don't either. Tell him you think we would both be better off as friends because we seem happier that way. Stuff like that." She looked at me pleadingly.

"Well," I said slowly, my insides churning at the very thought. "I suppose I could try. I'm not promising anything though," I added hastily.

"That's all I ask," she responded, a large smile breaking out across her face."

~*~

It was Sunday today. As always on Sunday in the Slytherin Common Room my house mates were frantically trying to complete their homework. This meant they were copying, cheating and generally yelling at each other. I never participated. My homework is always completed in class or, on the rare occasion, after classes on Friday. I'm not about to give my answers to these free riders.

"Crabbe! You can't write that!" Pansy cried in her annoyingly high pitched voice. Crabbe proceeded to turn exceedingly red in the face. Pansy then giggled.

Merlin, I had to get out of there. Glancing around, I got up and went to my dorm to retrieve my cloak. No one noticed until I had it on and was on my way to the portrait hole.

"Draco, where're you going?" Goyle called over the tirade of cheating and shouting.

"For a walk," I called back and left before anyone could join me. As the portrait swung shut the noise ceased it's pounding against my ears.

They were all so dense. Does being evil mean you must be stupid as well? Or are they just the stupid minions and there is one or two leaders among them? Well there're definitely aren't any intelligent students in there except for me and I'm not evil.

Crabbe and Goyle were the worst of the lot. I can't believe they have passed enough to still be considered wizards. I am beginning to get the suspicion that their parents have been paying off the professors.

Sleeping in the same dorm room with them is simply a nightmare. They both snore so loudly. Sometimes they alternate so that the entire night is filled with the sound of Crabbe snoring then a brief pause as Goyle fills the silence then Crabbe again. Or they snore at the same time so there are long pauses of silence then the room reverberates with snores. I still haven't figured out which is worse.

It's times like those that I desperately wish I had accepted the position of Slytherin prefect. I had declined the position two years prior for it had reminded me of that pompous Weasley too much. Why was I so stupid?

It was another gloomy day today, pleasantly cool and not too windy. It seemed like this fall was not going to disappoint with the weather.

As is my usual habit, I headed towards the lake. The water always interested me. The fact that there could be a whole civilization beneath its surface was almost unbelievable. Sometimes I wish I could join them just to get away from my life. I mean, wasn't there some song that life was much better under the water? By some band called The Bugs or something like that? I'm not really into vintage music even if they were supposedly the best Wizarding band in history.

As I rounded a corner on the path running along side the lake I saw something, or rather, someone. Someone with long red hair. Who else could it be but Weasley. She was seated on a large rock over-looking the lake looking down at something in her hands. As I approached I realized it was a piece of parchment. I also realized she was not happy. Far from the bright and cheerful character I had grown accustomed to in Potions.

She didn't realize I had approached until I was standing over her shoulder, reading the apparent letter. A sign that she was deeply distressed for she would have been harping at me already if she wasn't.

It was Potter's writing on the parchment. I would know it anywhere. Not that I stalk him or anything. 'Cause I don't. It's just that he has very distinctive writing. That's all.

"So now Potter's telling you his side?" I drawled, skimming over the first few lines of the note. She jumped and snatched it out of sight before turning to me with a frown.

"Don't do that," she snapped.

"Do what?" I asked innocently.

"That creepy stalky thing," she explained, narrowing her eyes. "You nearly gave me a heart attack."

"I did not creepily stalk up here," I snapped back. "I approached quite noisily, stepping on twigs and all that. It's not my fault that you're too daft to realize it."

She gave me a dirty look then proceeded to glare out at the lake, ignoring me. I stood there for a while beginning to feel quite foolish. I was getting the feeling that she would not look at me unless I walked away. So I did the only thing I could do: I sat down next to her. I'm not sure why I did it. Perhaps I simply don't like to be ignored.

"What do you think you're doing?" she snapped at me, finally turning to look at me.

"Sitting down," I drawled back. "It's a free world."

She narrowed her eyes then glared out at the lake once again. Her hands were twisting the parchment and a part of me was curious as to what the rest of it said. But what do I care? It doesn't concern me.

"I told you not to get involved," I said before I realized what I was doing. Why would I say that? It doesn't matter to me.

She turned and looked at me in a measuring way. There was nothing but seriousness in her eyes and expression. No cheerfulness whatsoever. It was quite queer really. It doesn't suit her. It doesn't- where the hell did that come from?! She's a Weasley for Merlin's sake. A potato sac could suit her for all I care!

"I know that," she said coldly, narrowing her eyes. "I knew it from the moment they told me to keep it a secret. I don't even know why I involved myself. But I did and now I can't go back and change it. They're having a problem and as their friend it is my duty to try and help them through it. That's what friends do."

"Even at the cost of you getting more problems than them?" I asked immediately after her little speech. A small smirk playing across my face.

"You wouldn't understand, Malfoy," she said darkly. "You don't have any friends to concern yourself with."

Ok. I wasn't expecting that. I looked at her with a mixture of fury and disbelief. I have heard that from others multiple times but I never would have expected it from her. She never, ever takes low shots like that. Even if I do the same back to her.

I tried to think of something terrible to say back to her but I couldn't find the words. She was right. I really didn't have any friends to worry about. Everyone I do consider a friend is a brainless dolt and there is nothing anyone can do to help them.

All I could do was stare back at her, hoping my face was not betraying all of the emotions that were roaring through my mind. I learnt at a young age that you must never trust your emotions to anyone. My father is such a cold bastard.

"I'm sorry," she said quietly after a moment of stunned silence. "I shouldn't have said that. I don't know what came over me."

"Reality," I said bitterly. "You're hurting so you lash out. I'm used to it," I added as an after thought. Once again, my father's doing.

She stared at me wide-eyed as though realizing something for the first time. I looked away angrily. I hate when people stare. It annoys me. You never know what they're thinking when they do it.

"Would you stop it already?" I finally snapped.

"Sorry," she whispered and her eyes fell to her lap where the parchment lay. I followed her eyes to it.

"So what did Potter have to say?" I asked. I really have to get a hold of my words. They shouldn't be slipping out like that. It's hazardous to one's health. Especially someone like me who has an evil image to up hold.

She silently handed it to me, not looking up. Looking at her for a moment I unrolled the parchment and proceeded to read.

Ginny,

People keep telling me that I seem depressed lately. But I haven't been! The last few weeks have been some of the best in my life. I know I have been extra tried lately with Quidditch starting up again so perhaps you are all just mixing up my tiredness with depression. I just wanted to get that out of the way.

Hermione told me to talk to you, that you would fill me in on everything that is going on. She won't tell me herself. She says that I should know already. I'm getting worried Gin. She won't talk to me. She never wants to do anything anymore and when ever I try to talk to her about it she gets all hissy and defensive.

To make matters worse she seems to be spending a lot of time with Ron. And enjoying it.

I don't see why. Weasley is a stick in the mud. And stupid as one to boot. But then she is going out with Potter to begin with. Obviously the girl doesn't have very high standards.

Hermione is not sure if she still likes me or not. She said she will think about it. Also seeing what I put her through and what I've done to her makes me feel horrible. I feel I don't even deserve to be her boyfriend.

This is not how I envisioned my first relationship to end, so I'm not going to let it die so easily. I'd very much appreciate it if you help me to keep it alive.

Now on a lighter note Hagrid said that he's getting in a shipment of Jarveys soon. Should be interesting. See? Not everything's dark and depressing.

Harry.

Not everything is dark and depressing? Who writes that? What utter bull shit. As if that could possibly cheer her up. But then, it's not like I know either. Or care for that matter. She is a Weasley.

"So they're pulling you in both directions?" I concluded finally. The girl beside me nodded miserably. "What are you going to do?"

"I don't know," she said quietly. "I haven't seen any proof of what my brother and Hermione have been saying. I simply can't see Harry acting as terribly as they are making him out to. It's not in his nature." I had to agree with her there. Sure Potter was an ass but he wasn't the type to subdue his girlfriend. "But I have to think of something soon," she continued. "Because he keeps asking me what's up and I keep telling him I'm not really sure and that I need more time to think about it. He's getting impatient though. I can't beat about the bush forever."

"Well, just tell him the truth," I offered. A part of me wanted to see Potter fall but another part of me was quite appalled at my words. I told it to shove it. "Tell him that his girl is no longer interested and that he should move on."

"It'll crush him," Ginny sighed. "I don't want to see him get hurt. And I'll feel terrible if I'm the one who has to tell him."

"He's going to get hurt anyway," I explained reasonably. Why couldn't she see that? If Granger takes him back then he will always be suspicious as to why she did and if she doesn't then he will feel rejection. Either way, it's a lose-lose situation. "And that terrible feeling you can blame Granger for. Probably Potter as well, but then I don't know the whole story."

She looked at me for a moment with no expression on her face. I was beginning to think that perhaps she was going to hurt me. Then she sort of smiled. Not a whole smile but it couldn't be described as anything else.

"Thanks," she said finally and stood up.

"Where are you going?" I asked in spite of myself.

"To the Common Room. I think it's time I explained a few things." Shoving the parchment in her pocket she left.

I sat there for about an hour afterwards, simply thinking. Why was I taking such an interest in the youngest Weasley? She was a Weasley after all and I a Malfoy. Our families have hated each other for centuries. Possibly even a millennia if I cared to look back that far. So why do I have this sudden interest?

But then how do I know for sure that my great great great great grandfather didn't have an interest in her great great great great grandmother? How do I even know it's an interest? Perhaps it's just animal magnetism. Perhaps- Oh I'm pathetic. Who am I trying to kid? I'm interested in the Weasley girl and I do care if she gets hurt in the predicament Potter and Granger have made for her. I just hope to Merlin that my father never finds out.

~*~

My encounter with Malfoy was odd. I was expecting him to act like he does in Potions. Be all sarcastic and insulting. But instead he was almost, well, nice. I never thought I would see the day. And not only that, he was helpful. Scary.

On the way to the Common Room I planned out what I was going to say: Harry, I think Hermione is being very selfish and that you deserve better. Stop this thing now before matters get worse and you can no longer be friends.

I didn't even get nervous when I saw him sitting there alone or when he told me to come up to his dorm room to talk in private. Malfoy's words seemed to have filled me with confidence. Creepy but true.

"So where is everyone?" I asked, looking around the dorm. What a sty.

"Library. Studying most like," Harry said, pacing about.

"And Hermione?"

"In her room, studying as well I presume."

You did hear him right. Hermione has her own room. Comes with the job of being Head Girl. A room all to herself and the professor's favors. Not that I really care. It's just-

"So you're finally ready to tell me everything?" Harry's voice interrupted my thoughts. I looked up to see him staring down at me. I nodded and walked over to Ron's bed and sat down.

"I'm sorry about that," I said quietly. "There's just so much information and I don't want you to get the wrong impression." Well that sounded corny.

"I understand that," he said and if I wasn't sure I might have thought he had said it with impatience. "What has Hermione been saying?"

"Well," I started slowly. I had to tread lightly. One wrong word and he could break. Or so Hermione says. "She said she's not happy. Not happy at all."

"I know that," he said curtly. "Why is she not happy?"

"She said you don't listen to her. That you wont let her do her own things." At his face I hastily added: "I don't believe it though. I haven't seen any proof of what she claims. For all I know it's all part of her imagination."

"I see," he responded. "Tell me more."

"Uh," I faltered. I wasn't expecting him to be quite so demanding. All the ideas that had been blossoming in my head on the way here suddenly decided to make their absence known. This wasn't going well. My defense was crumbling. What could I say? That she wants to break up with him? But he wants this thing to survive. "What do you want to know?"

"What do I need to do to get things back to normal?" he demanded, stopping his pacing to stand before me. He seemed very tall.

"I don't know if that is possible, Harry," I said softly looking down at my hands. I was wringing them like mad. Not a good sign.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean- I- Just," I stammered. "I don't know what I mean! I don't know what to do! I don't know what to say!" I leapt to my feet and began to pace as he had paced moments before. "On the one hand one of you wants to keep the relationship going and the other doesn't. I feel like the two of you are forcing me to choose sides! That you're forcing me to be involved!"

"But didn't you choose to be involved?" he asked, not moving from his spot. "Haven't you already chosen sides?"

"No. I haven't," I snapped. Stopping my pacing I turned to face him, violently brushing the hair from my face. "You're both my friends and I don't want to see either of you get hurt. I had no choice but to help! Neither of you gave me a choice!"

He stared at me blankly for a moment and I began to get this sinking suspicion that I had said the wrong thing. Great Ginny. Turn the situation so it's about yourself instead of him and Hermione. Just dandy. What a friend you are.

"So you think I should break it off?" he asked me finally. His eyes had gone large and his face pale. I felt awful. Worse than awful. Dreadful. Damn Hermione for starting this damn thing. Damn her to hell.

"Yes. Yes I do," I said seriously. He nodded once then diverted his eyes to the ground.

There was a knock on the door and we both jumped. He gestured for me to hide behind the drawings of Ron's bed and I complied.

"I'll be right back," he whispered and left the room, closing the door behind him.

I sat down cross legged and began to think. He looked so crushed. Did I do the right thing? Should I have told him? Or should I have told him I couldn't say anything and that I didn't want to be involved?

He was taking an awful long time out there with whoever had knocked. I couldn't hear any voices but I was beginning to get the feeling that it was Hermione out there. What would the chances be?

I only waited about five minutes but it felt more like an hour. I kept doubting what I had said. Did I really do the right thing? Would Harry be ok? Would he hate me for it? I don't think we're going to be as close friends anymore. I don't think any of us are.

The door opened and Harry walked in. He looked terrible. He was slouching and looked at though he had just lost a Quidditch match. He had a book in his hands.

"That was Hermione," he explained, following my gaze. "I left my book in her room when we were studying this afternoon." He looked down at the book as though trying to prove it wasn't real. "We broke up."

"You did?" I gasped, my eyes going wide. "I'm so sorry Harry." I couldn't think of anything else to say. I've never been in a situation like this before. It seemed the appropriate thing to say.

"We both agreed to break it off," he continued. "We decided to go back to being friends. To the way it was before."

"Are you ok?" I asked softly, getting to my feet and cautiously approaching. I've never seen Harry like this before. I didn't know how he'd react.

"Yeah, I think I am," he said looking up and smiling. It was a weak smile. "Thanks. For everything I mean." I nodded a little awkwardly. "But if you don't mind, I would like to be alone for a bit."

"Of course," I responded earnestly. As I made for the door I lightly touched his shoulder.

As the door closed I heard the book hit the wall.

~*~