The Wife of the Emperor

Ginny sat in the empty common room, glaring at the crackling fire, its cheery warmth mocking her dark dilemma. Angrily, she wiped the tears off her face, the only indication of her utter confusion. She had to choose tonight. Why? There was no specific reason; it was a normal Friday night, but something cold and foreboding gnawed at the pit of her stomach. She just had to make a decision before whatever evil she feared would reveal itself.

The sound of light footsteps on cold stone brought Ginny from her unwinding thoughts. She turned to see Colin, worried, caring Colin, sitting down beside her. After their marriage was conducted, they had become better friends than before, for they both agreed that they would not sleep together for the mere sake for their parents' paranoid wants. They were more friends than husband and wife, in fact, Ginny still hadn't gotten used to being called on as "Mrs. Creevy" in her classes.

As the reality of her situation became too much to bear, she turned to Colin who let her sob into his shoulder, settling onto the couch beside her gently. Colin smoothed her hair with his hand and wrapped his arms around her shaking body.

"What am I going to do, Colin? I can't make a choice, what was I thinking?" Colin shrugged, knowing he had little to say that could help her.

"Who do you love, Ginny? Who can you spend your life with? It's simple, really." Ginny sighed, frustrated and unsure.

"It's not that simple, Colin. The answers to those questions are different. I love Draco, I know I do, but with Voldemort steadily increasing his power, I don't know if it is safe for us to be together anymore. And Harry. I don't love him, you know. I may have once, but now I pity him. He's safety, not love. He's someone who can take care of me financially, make sure my family stays in social favor. He's lived a lonely life, and I don't want him to live that life forever."

"Draco's lived a lonely life as well, Ginny." She sighed, a noise that was between a sob and a laugh.

"I know that Colin, and don't play devil's advocate with me. I know what's at stake here. I know that at the very least one heart will be broken tonight." My own. Ginny sighed again, releasing herself from Colin's embrace. She wiped her tears from her face and knew then and there what she had to do.

"I'm going to choose Harry, Colin. I have to. The love I have for Draco is too passionate, too impulsive. It's too dangerous. I love him, Colin, but I don't want him dying for it." Colin nodded, knowing he couldn't change her mind now that it was set. It was a sad sight; to see her struggling to convince herself this was right as she made the slow walk to the portrait. As she crawled out of the portrait hole, ignoring the indignant cires of the Fat Lady, she thought of how she had come to this.

Ginny hadn't really known what to do when Draco had finally cornered her after Potions the day before. His eyes had been so insistent as he asked her to meet him by the lake at sunset. His eyes burned through hers as he stared at her for an answer. Of course, she caved and that was why she was miserable. She had avoided him for a week after the night they professed their love to one another, hoping she could pretend she didn't love him, that he didn't love her, that the words were never spoken. Now as she walked toward the lake she knew that she truly did love him, for another piece of her heart crumbled with every step.

Stepping out onto the fading grounds, Ginny wrapped her arms tighter around herself as the cool spring wind picked up around her. She could see Draco's shadow in front of her against the blackening surface of the lake. It grew larger and larger the closer she came until finally she could see his face. Her breath caught in her throat and she stopped suddenly, an arms-length from where he stood. In all the chaos surrounding their relationship, she had forgotten how beautiful he was. Pale, cool skin reflected the dim light of the setting sun, the glow mimicking the warmth his touch seemed to lack, long silver locks fluttered into his grey eyes that could be colder than winter and yet fiery with passion. Tonight they were burning with confusion. Their eyes met briefly and he reached for her, wanting to hold her until she told him what this past week had meant. It didn't escape him that she was turning in the other direction whenever she saw him, or suddenly bolting into a classroom when he tried to approach her. He doubted his decision to utter the words he told no one else. Fear, doubt and sorrow reflected in her warm cinnamon eyes and the strength he loved her for seemed to leave her with each moment. She withdrew from his outstretched hands.

"Don't, Draco. Please don't. Don't make this any harder than it already is." She swallowed hard and looked away. She knew if she stared into his eyes too long, she would lose what little courage she had come with. She could feel his eyes studying her, trying to find an answer from her still form. He lifted her chin gently and his piercing eyes bore into hers, forcing her to face him. "Please," she whispered desperately, tears streaming down her cheeks.

"What's happened, Ginny? What's wrong?" Worry edged his words, and she bit back a sob at the thought of what pain her avoidance had caused him, but if she didn't do this, they would both die. She pulled her chin away, but his eyes still held hers. She drew in a deep breath and forced out the words she didn't want to say.

"We can't do this anymore. I can't do this anymore. I don't want to see you anymore, Draco." She started to run, any supposed Gryffindor courage she had vanishing at the hurt in his being, and she tried to get as far away from the pleading look on his face; but he caught her wrist as she turned and pulled her back against him. She bit her lip as another sob welled up inside her, but this time she didn't pull away, rather, she buried her head in his chest, breathing his cologne and spring air. This simple act caused her knees to buckle, but his grip on her kept her standing.

"What is wrong with you? What are you saying?" His grip tightened on her wrists as he glared down at her. This was making no sense. Ever since she had healed him at the end of the battle last summer, his world had been full of nothing but her, and for once he felt complete, and now she was leaving him hollow again. She couldn't possibly believe the rumors that he was being forced to join Voldemort, could she? That had been his intent before he met her, but he couldn't fathom leaving her side for a decaying man filled with delusions of grandeur.

"I'm going to marry Harry when this war is over, when my marriage to Colin is annulled. I can't stay here with you, Draco. We can't do this forever," she said quietly into his chest. His body went rigid and they stood frozen in silence before he finally spoke.

"You don't love him, Ginny. You'll never be happy." Draco stared straight ahead, his breathing sharp and ragged as they both struggled to keep their wits about them. His words caused something to snap, and her sadness was giving way to anger.

"And I would be with you? Can you make me happy, Draco?" As Ginny's anger flared, she wrenched her arms out of his grasp and squinted at him in the falling darkness. "We'd never be safe, we'd never be free to live our lives. Constantly looking over our shoulders, constantly afraid of what's in front of us. No family, no friends. Does that sound like happiness to you, Draco?" She knew what he meant to do this summer, join Voldemort, replace his father at the Dark Lord's side. The whole school knew.

He only glared at her, their anger drawing an invisible line between them. He appeared unfazed by her outburst as he spat his reply back at her. "And a life alone, with a family that controls you and friends that can't help you is better somehow? How could you live your life without love, Ginny? You can't and you know it."

"What do you want from me, Draco? What?" She could taste the bitter saltiness of her tears as she spoke. His face softened as he placed his hand on her cheek, and she leaned unconsciously into his touch

"I just want you. I don't care about anything else, I don't need anything else." He smiled tentatively at her and she felt her heart melt with the heat from his touch and his simple request, but she could not back down. She had to go on with her decision for both their sakes'.

"We can't, Draco. It won't work. This has to end now." She pulled his hand down and looked down at it as she held it. "I'm going to marry Harry. I'll be safe with him."

It was Draco who pulled away violently this time. "How can you stand here and say something like that to me? I can't believe that this is what you want and somewhere deep down, you know you don't believe it either." His voice was even as he spoke and his words bit into her.

"Want, Draco? No one said anything about want. This is what I have to do. This is what I need to do. For me, for Harry, for my family and especially for you." She clenched her fists at her sides as she stared into his piercing gray eyes, willing him to understand, to let her walk away from him, though she couldn't figure out why she felt she needed to have him let her walk away. He moved closer to her until their faces were millimeters from each other.

"Fine," he breathed, making Ginny shiver as his breath was warmer than the air around her. "If you want me to go along with this, you have to do something for me first." A feeling of dread worked its way into her stomach as Draco continued to gaze defiantly at her. "Look me in the eye and tell me you don't love me. Tell me that you didn't mean to say those words to me last week. Tell me you never want to see me again."

Ginny swallowed hard and returned his gaze. The silence between them pounded in her ears. She could do this. She had grown up knowing how to lie; she had even convinced herself that a life with Harry was what she wanted, so she could convince him. Without blinking, she mustered up enough strength to speak. "I don't love you and I never want to see you again." She held her breath, waiting to see how he would react. Pain contorted his pale features and a glimmer of tears shone in his eyes. Without a word, he pulled her into him, their lips crashing together. She raised her arms to push him away, but she couldn't bring herself to fight back. She slowly realized that she really didn't want to. This was what she wanted; this was all she ever wanted forever and always: to stand in the moonlight, kissing the only man she would ever love. To hell with everyone else! I love him! I love Draco Malfoy! She screamed in her head, as she wanted to scream aloud to the whole world. Her hands trailed up his back, into his silvery blonde hair and she knew this was right. In that moment, she had decided. In that moment, she knew she could never live her life with Harry, Colin or anyone else in her life. She wanted to be with Draco; she needed to be with Draco.

Suddenly, Ginny felt a pair of hands seize her arms and she was yanked turbulently away from Draco. The same look of confused, dreadful realization crossed their faces as they looked at each other one last time. Salty tears burned her cheeks as the stern, unforgiving voice of Molly Weasley filled her ears. She heard her own scream rip from her mouth, full of tears and disbelief. She struggled against her mother's strong grip as she heard Draco bellow in anger and pain, running to grab Ginny from her disillusioned mother. All the tears she held back that night poured from her eyes as she was dragged further and further away from the man she loved. The whole scene moved slowly as her father held Draco back, letting Molly take their daughter away. She saw him trying to calm Draco as he struggled against Arthur's grip, but her mother forced her into the castle. Ginny didn't see as Draco fell, first against her father, then to his knees in the darkness, all his hope of a life with Ginny vanished, Arthur standing over him, his head hung in grief. Ginny didn't see the same tears falling from his heartbroken gray eyes.