The Sixteen Year Old Hangover

After a very brief visit to the kitchen to get a bottle of wine (Avoiding the growing puddles of spilt beer - fortunately on washable floor tiles) Lily Potter rejoined the slightly more docile and even-tempered group in the living room.

'Would you like some more wine, Remus darling?'

'Why yes, thank you Lily!'

Lily sighed as she topped up glasses, trying to ignore the drumming and whooping sounds coming from her freshly scoured kitchen.

'I've managed to ban the blackcurrant juice in an attempt to save the bathroom carpet later on. But now they're playing some daft game involving an empty Firewhiskey bottle! Where did my life go wrong Remus?'

The young man chuckled softly. 'It depends on your definition of wrong.'

'Must I elaborate?'

'If you will.'

Lily shuddered. 'You will insist on torturing me Remus! And four words to add to it all: Snape, dining room and vacuuming.'

'Ah.' He nodded sagely. 'One hitch though. No sound of the vacuum cleaner being switched on.'

Lily rolled her eyes. 'As if that surprises me! But it's not as if the git'll be able to charm the thing.'

Lupin smiled. 'Two more incongruous words: Snape. Charms.'

Lily smirked. 'Well, if my hoover ends up with green scales and a tail I'll be asking for a bit more than a favour off of him!'

Remus smiled and drew closer. 'Lily, may I ask you one thing?'

She fluttered her eyelashes. 'Ask away!'

'The girls here, well they were - gossiping after you went to...' Remus was cut short by a Lily death glare. 'Erm, did you invite Snape tonight?' he finished hurriedly.

Lily's eyes glittered with amusement as she snorted into her wine glass. 'Really dear! Whatever makes you think that?'

'Well,' he flushed. 'The, er, way you treat him.'

'And how is that, Remus?' she mused, seemingly innocent.

The man frowned quizzically. 'Well, to say he was a...a...er-'

'Slytherin, Remus?' finished Lily airily. 'Well, don't worry dearie. Just because I happened to date one in our fifth year doesn't mean I was in favour with them all!'

'I...err...um. That is...Oh.' Remus finished lamely, mouth agape. He just couldn't help staring. 'You...dated-'

Lily smiled mischievously. 'Oh, and mind you keep that last bit secret. It just happens that only two other people know about it.'

'Did you? But how? Who?!' he spluttered.

'Shhh!' her smile widened as she took a sip out of her glass. 'Keep it down! I don't really want the others to know that the certain tall, dark, mysterious fellow I used to tell them about actually wore green on match days!' She watched Remus' face crease up as he attempted to figure out whom she could be talking about.

'Tall - and dark?' Remus frowned, and paled as his mind raced to the first possible conclusion. 'Lily! You wouldn't? Didn't? B-but I would have -'

'Found out Remus?' was the cool reply. 'Too right you would have! Your sense of smell really does freak me out sometimes you know!'

She wrinkled her nose in distaste. 'And ugh! How dare you even think I would EVEN consider...' Lily shuddered and nodded in the direction of the dining room, before giggling. 'Oh, God in Heaven - no! Guess again - please! If it helps at all - the guy was two years older than us, and remarkably good at scent masking charms.'

'Masking charms?' Remus' eyes narrowed in thought as he swirled the last drops of wine around in his glass. There were only a few people really talented at that strange skill. Was one in Slytherin? If only he could recall a name or a face.

'Surely not-' he managed to whisper finally. 'Not Nutty?' His eyes grew wider as he looked into Lily's glinting eyes. She giggled again. So it was true. Ah, of course - with those charms of his in action... 'Oh Lily! But - how did you manage that without anyone guessing? Oh, please tell me,' he whispered breathlessly. 'Does James know?'

Lily shook her head slowly, her eyes dancing with amusement - she loved nothing more than a good tease. 'It was a whole two years before I considered James. But could you imagine what he'd do if he did know?'

She drained he glass and rose. As Remus looked up she winked and added, almost slyly, 'But what if the couple of people who do know about it - both happen to be in this cottage, at this very moment?'

Before Remus could comment she had begun to walk away, remarking more loudly, 'Oh - and speaking of my darling husband, I think I ought to check on him.'

The man watched the young woman totter out the room, looking at her with an expression of complete bewilderment.

'Women,' he mumbled, before downing the rest of his glass.

'Who knows what, Remus?' said a slightly tipsy voice in his ear.

'Oh, just women and gossip,' he smiled. 'More wine Ruth?'

'Don't mind if I do!'

'Nor me!'

'Oh, give me a refill Reamie!' cooed Gracie.

'While you're at it...'

As Remus was refilling their glasses a sudden thought occurred to him. How many other relationships had been going on he didn't know about? Why, if a young sweet lady like Lily carried on with a Slytherin right under a wolf's nose, of all things - without being detected... Her husband still blissfully unaware. Well - what of the other Gryffindor girls then? Other Slytherins?

As Ruth leaned across him to grab a generous handful of pistachio nuts, Remus suddenly felt rather hemmed in.

Sneaky Slytherins. Remus chewed his lip nervously. Would the host's throwaway confession force him to rethink his whole opinion of Hogwarts' house rivalry?

It could.

Remus inwardly cursed himself. Had he really been that naïve to presume all Gryffindors hated all Slytherins? Perhaps he had; after all he'd been hanging around with Sirius too long. A boy who had hated Slytherin because his family of

House Elf-stuffing fanatics had been placed in that house for generations.

Sddenly he realised he needed more information. Much, much more. He had found a loose thread at the bottom of a robe, and suddenly felt a strong need to pull on it and keep unravelling the thing until...well...

Exposure?

Remus felt himself flushing at his train of thought. So, who best to ask but the Slytherin in the next room? Not the most amiable of the Potters' party guests, obviously, but he was probably the most sober.

The perfect excuse to get away from the increasingly giggly girls. Giggly girls, who were now scooping heart-attack-causing amounts of cream dip onto miniature breadsticks and sucking it off in a rather disturbing manner.

'I...um...need the loo,' he mumbled, rising quickly and almost upsetting a precariously balanced dish of prawn cocktail dip into his lap. 'Pardon me...er... ladies.'

Once he had managed to escape into the relative safety of the hallway he paused to think. He could hear several conversations going on. A large group of men and women were talking Quidditch in the study room. Upstairs he could distinctly hear Lily's voice, and various moans, which were presumably coming from James.

Quidditch was boring, and further conversation with Lily would have to wait. Remus moved toward the kitchen, but decided to listen before walking in.

'So what'll it be Wormy?' Sirius's voice.

'Uh...do I have to?'

'Just play the sodding, bloody game Peter!'

Remus frowned. Was that really Spencer's voice? He sounded really irritable about something. Someone must really have gone far to upset the Ravenclaw.

'Uh, uh. Promise you won't kill me?' quavered Wormtail.

'Nonsense!' exclaimed the Ravenclaw rather loudly. 'Why should I kill you?'

Wormtail tittered. 'Well, you have handcuffs...'

Sharpe laughed bitterly. 'Just say it. It's only a game!'

'Uhm...Okay, then. If its - if it's okay?' Wormtail's voice squeaked. 'I dare you to erm...to erm...poke a Cheesy Nibble up your nose!'

Some people snorted. Lupin pulled a face - Wormtail was always daring people to poke things up their nose. Quills, Bertie Bott's Beans. Chocolate frogs... It got a bit annoying after a while.

Another nervous titter. 'Uh...in your ear then? Or, or in your-'

There was a loud bang - perhaps the sound of an empty glass being slammed onto table. 'Oh, fer God's sakes!' crowed Sharpe. 'You made me do that at school! Twice! Pomfrey was insufferable - wouldn't stop on at me after that second time!'

'And I'll be on at you even more if I end up being the one removing it Wormtail,' growled Sirius. 'Can't you think of something else Sharpe could do?'

Remus sighed quietly. He wasn't really into all these silly games. Maybe he should go back to the living room - maybe Lily was back.

There was a loud whirr of noise to his right. Lupin turned round. It was coming from the dining room.

Snape.

Doobie was in there too somewhere, wasn't she? Or perhaps in the conservatory?

Remus knew the Slytherin probably didn't like dogs. And Remus had a tendency to worry about people. Even if they were horrible. He was a habitual worrier.

And wasn't Doobie scared of the vacuum cleaner?