Human Clay

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Hey, Mr. Seeker
Hold on to this advice
If you keep seeking you will find

Don't want to follow
Down roads been walked before
It's so hard to find unopened doors
Are you ready? Are you ready?

Hey, Mr. Hero
Walking a thin, fine line
Under the microscope of life

Remember your roots, my friend
They're right down below
'Cause heroes come and heroes go

Ten, nine, eight, seven, six, five, four, three, two, one
Count down to the change in life that's soon to come

Your life has just begun

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Black tossed and turned. He hated falling asleep - he hated sleep in general. He wished he didn't have to do it. He would lie in bed and stare at the ceiling and think of everything he could accomplish in the seven hours he actually devoted to the task of rest. He could be practicing spells, devising plans to keep his neighbors thinking he was some sort of evil pagan demon, writing a book about the annoyance of sleep and ways to avoid it...

He sighed, rolling over onto his side and staring at the one wall in his room that was covered with photographs - his "memory wall" as he so affectionately called it. The gaudy rose wallpaper (that he had never replaced due to lack of interest) was covered almost completely by photographs, both normal and Muggle.

There were pictures from his day in Hogwarts - dozens of ones of the Marauders, standing proudly by some of their most exciting endeavours. Black's favorite was displayed near the middle of the wall and seemed to stand out from the other pictures, even if their was nothing to make it prominent. His graduation from Hogwarts... it was a bittersweet picture. James was standing next to Lily, his arm wrapped around her shoulder while his other hand attempted to give Peter (who stood next to him) rabbit ears. Peter was catching on to that fact and kept trying to push James's hand away from the back of his head. Remus stood next to the two of them and shook his head, looking utterly exasperated with the both of them. Black stood beside Remus, watching Peter and James battle it out while Lily and Remus both looked disapprovingly on.

The Sirius in the picture seemed to realize they were being watched and quickly motioned to the others. Five people were suddenly waving at him animatedly, smiling.

Black grinned and waved half-heartedly back at them from where he lay.

Looking at the pictures always helped him to sleep.

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He only felt half-awake, half-alive. This couldn't be reality - he had to be dreaming. Dreaming. This was all a horrific nightmare.

All a nightmare. He would wake up soon. And he'd be lying in bed, staring at his wall, and he'd be able to call James and make sure everything was all right. He'd be able to talk to Lily.

The harsh wind whipping his hair, stinging his face, helped to bring him to the realization that this was real. The voices of angry men shouting to each other gave him justification he didn't want.

This. Was. Real....

He stumbled forward, leaving his motorcycle behind. It fell with a crash. He had forgotten to put the kickstand up. Lord, that didn't matter... His feet seemed to trip over themselves as he walked into the familiar house. Familiar but for the door hanging off of its hinges. Familiar but for the lack of life.

The air chilled him through his coat. The entire house seemed frozen still - furniture thrown aside, paintings askew. Everything was cold and dead. The men flowing in the door behind him didn't take away from the ambience.

There. Right there, yards before him. Simple yards. Lifeless eyes stared at him from behind broken glasses. Lifeless...

"James!"

Black felt his legs give out from underneath him. His insides seemed to push themselves up through his chest and he fell, the world going black.

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The soft voice hung in the air around him like steam. Singing. Soft and calm.

The words barely entered his consciousness, even as he woke. Only the melody. He knew that melody. He only knew one person who sang that melody.

He scrunched his eyes, groaning about the light, and muttered, "Moony?"

The melody stopped. There was rustling and a blurry face was above Black's eyes.

"Good morning."

Black wrenched his eyes back shut and felt his throat constrict painfully as he whispered, "Wha' happe'd?"

A cool something - he guessed it was a hand (or hoped, maybe) - rested on his forehead and the voice near his head said, "Lord Voldemort found our secret."

Black could have jumped out of bed but he found he didn't have the strength. His eyes also hurt too much as he stared up at the blank expression on Lupin's face. Lupin looked as bad as Black felt. But then again, Black probably looked as bad as he felt, as well.

"Ra' bastard tol' on us?" he whispered softly.

Lupin smiled weakly. "Looks like." He looked away for a moment before looking back at Black. "C'mon, get up. You have to eat something - I'm sure there's food around here somewhere. I doubt the Ministry could have eaten it all."

The hand left Black's forehead as Lupin straightened up. "Get up already."

Black grimaced as he sat up, his spine cracking. He stretched, yawning, "Who were you singing to? If it was to me, I'm touched."

"It was to Harry."

"Harry?" Black's eyes shot open and he looked wildly about the strange room until he found Lupin (who was staring rather oddly at him). "Where?" He almost sounded desperate, he reasoned. "Where's Harry?"

Lupin gestured to the wall to the side where a cradle stood. Black swiveled about in the bed, his hands clutching at the sheets around him.

Cradle. Small bundle. Cooing, even.

Black fell out of bed, not bothering to sort himself out from the sheets, then tripped over to the cradle's side and peered in.

Harry blinked and cooed up at him. Harry. Harry was alive!

There was something different... He stared into the small face.

Then he saw it. A lighting bolt shaped gash - no, scar. It looked as if it had just recently been healed. Harry didn't seem bothered by it at all. But it bothered Black - more than anything else he had been told that day. He knew what a scar like that was from. He'd read about them - never seen one before. One was required to know about them when in the Ministry...but first hand experience?...

Lupin watched from the doorway, faintly amused. He felt slightly awkward being amused, but he couldn't help it. He'd just witnessed his best friend trip across a bedroom wrapped in sheets and wearing pajamas. Pajamas with little puppies all over it. Cute. He sighed and walked over to the cradle beside Black. "I found him in his crib, crying softly. With that." He pointed half-heartedly at the mark on Harry's forehead.

Black's hands were clenching the edges of the crib. He looked through his ragged hair at his friend. "And Lily?"

Lupin's face dropped and he said, "Sorry, Padfoot. I'm so sorry." He put his hand consolingly on his friend's back. He knew how much Lily meant to Black - they had been close friends since their first years at Hogwarts. Black had been the one to suggest making her a Marauder even before she and James became close. The fact that she was female beat out the fact that she was as mischievous as they were, however.

Lupin moved his arm around his friend's shoulder and squeezed gently. "He'll be safe here, Padfoot. Let's go get you something to eat, huh?"

Black nodded numbly and allowed himself to be led away from the crib.

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[[ time passes, as time tends to do ]]

Quiet. Like a mouse. Or a gerbil. That's what he had to be to escape pursuit and capture. Be quiet, and inconspicuous. Inconspicuous. That was the way.

"Ya' don't see me," he said softly, holding the peanut butter jar in front of his face. If he blended in with the wall well enough, he wouldn't be spotted.

There was the sound of someone clearing their throat and Hagrid jumped, the jar slipping from his overlarge fingers.

"That one might have worked, Hagrid, had Harry been the one playing "seeker" this time. Alas, 'twas me."

Hagrid looked up to see Lupin standing in front of him, looking cocky. "Does this mean I'm the seeker?" he asked.

Lupin nodded. "Yeah." He turned and shouted loudly enough so it would echo through the halls, "Hey! I found Hagrid! Come out now!"

Black heard Lupin's voice from a distance and started to try and get out of the cupboard he had managed to force himself into. It was a good thing he wasn't claustrophobic. It was a bad thing, however, that even if he wasn't claustrophobic, he was still stuck. Stuck in a cupboard in the kitchen of the Leaky Cauldron. How would he explain this to Tom?

He had to figure out how to extricate himself, first. Without letting anyone know where his fail safe hiding spot was.

"I'm going to have to call for help, aren't I?"

Hagrid looked down at Harry, Tom, and Lupin. Where was Black? He was really ready to try and find people and Black had yet to come out so they could hide again. "Do we look for 'im? Maybe 'e doesn't know I've been found."

Harry looked at Lupin and Tom. "Can I look for him? Huh? I'm *really* good at finding people!"

Lupin looked worried about his friend. "Yeah, Harry, let's look for him."

Well, all things considered he was doing pretty good. He'd managed to get one whole arm out and most of a shoulder!! He was almost there.

Just the whole rest of his body to get out.

"Bugger." He refused to relent. He would not cry out. He would not. He'd die in that cupboard before admitting defeat.

A small inkling ran down his arm and he looked over sharply to see a teensy arachnid making its way innocently across his skin.

"...help!!"

Lupin looked at Harry oddly. "I'm not hearing things, am I Harry?"

Harry stood still for a minute until a stronger - yet still faint - "help" reached both their ears. "No, Uncle Moony, you aren't hearing things."

Lupin pondered the shout for a minute. He had only known two people in his lifetime who ever screamed like that - and it was for good reason. Snape - when the lousy measly git had discovered he was a werewolf - and Sirius, when he was being attacked by his greatest fear.

"Sirius! I'm coming!" Lupin shouted and took off in a dead run, not exactly sure where he was heading. If Sirius kept yelling, Lupin would find him eventually.

Harry blinked at the back of his uncle as Lupin ran off. His head tilted slightly to the side and he whispered confusedly, "Uncle...Moony?"

Tom smirked to himself, placed a hand on Harry's shoulder and walked with the seven-year-old in the basic direction of where Lupin had ran and Black had screamed.

Black stared at the crumbling, burning remains of what was once a very nice cabinet. Now, it was smoldering. And among the remains, somewhere, lay a shriveled corpse of black legs and evil intentions. Black refrained from cackling.

"Siriusareyouokay?!"

Black looked towards the door to see a disheveled-looking Lupin standing haphazardly in the doorway. "Remus? Are you okay?"

"You're alive!"

Black stood stupified, staring blankly at his friend. "Huh?"

Lupin smelled smoke and gazed over into the corner of the room where he was sure a cupboard once had been. "What...happened?"

There appeared behind Lupin Tom and Harry. Tom gazed blankly at the smoldering wreck. "There were pots in there. And spices," he said dumbly. He looked at Black. "You're paying for it."

"I'd rather pay for an exterminator," Black said agitatedly.

"What?"

Lupin grinned. "It appears you have a spider problem."

"Spiders? Where?" Harry sounded excited. Spiders were up there with slugs and worms.

Tom raised an eyebrow. "I don't believe you."

"It was there," Black pointed menacingly at the remains of the cupboard.

"I run a clean establishment," Tom said gravely. He looked at the burnt remains and smirked, adding, "And besides. Now your evidence is destroyed." Tom felt like laughing evilly.

Black looked at his watch - mostly to escape the irate innkeeper and the thought of paying - and murmured, "We should get going, Remus, Harry. We have much to do in Diagon."

Remus suddenly looked down and said in a halfhearted voice, "Must we? I don't want to face him."

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He rapped his fingernails on the tabletop and glared at no one in particular. The customer nearest him - an old lady with salt and pepper hair - took a step back from him and clutched her purse closer to her. He continued to glare - he didn't care what old women thought. All they did was haggle prices and treat him like he was still a seventeen-year-old good-for-nothing without a cause in life. He, at least, was no longer seventeen.

The bells on the door rang and he peered exasperatedly at the approaching man. "Finally."

"I like to make an entrance," Lupin said congenially.

"Gryffindors don't make entrances. They make fools of themselves. And they irritate all around them."

"Do you have it?" Lupin asked, leaning on the counter top.

"Of course I have it. You pay me enough, I'll make anything."

"You haven't discovered anything to cure the fear of spiders yet, have you?"

"You haven't paid me enough, have you?"

"What, on my salary?"

"You don't have a salary. For the same reason I'm forced to serve you this vile concoction every month." He stood and disappeared into the back of the shop, reappearing soon with a vial between his slender fingers. He slid the vial across the counter and grinned scathingly. "There."

"One of these days you'll poison this, won't you?"

"Yes - the thought has crossed my mind."

"Is today that day?"

He thought for a minute, his fingers idly tapping the table. "No."

"In that case," and Lupin smiled, grabbing the vial and pulling something out of his pocket with the other hand, "a tip." He flicked a sickle towards the apothecary. "And good day to you, Severus."

Snape watched the werewolf leave his apothecary and bit his thumb at him. "Wait until next time, Remus."

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Harry, who had been on tiptoes to stare through the window, fell back to his feet as the door pushed open. "He's scary," he said simply.

Black nodded, "I agree."

Lupin shrugged and held up the vial. "Got it, though. Good old Baney."

Black herded Harry away from the window and took his hand, though he kept his eyes on Lupin, "That's fairly disturbing, Moony. Most people don't name their medication."

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