Human Clay

"...focus on the bumblebee. I am the bumblebee. I am the bumblebee. Be one with the bumblebee - become the bumblebee -"

"What is this, Albus? Mantras for insect worshippers?"

The auburn-haired Transfiguration teacher sighed dismally. "No. Not even quite. I'm trying to become a bumblebee."

Minerva blinked. She cocked her head at her fellow professor and stared hard. "Oh. Trying that again." She grinned coyly and let herself slip into her cat form. The spectacle markings on the sides of the tabby's face seemed to scrunch into laugh lines as the cat made an obvious effort to appear amused.

Albus glared at the tabby sitting on the table across from him. "Not funny, Minerva." He sighed, refusing to give up, and steadied himself by placing his hands on the table before him. He would become the bumblebee. He would do it if it killed him. He would become the bumble -

"Mrrreow."

Two green⁽¹⁾ eyes stared unblinkingly at him, set in a tawny brown, furry face. The cat still seemed to be laughing at him. She was getting a real hoot out of this.

And suddenly the green eyes of said tabby cat seemed to grow to an enormous size. Well, the whole cat seemed to grow to an enormous size... and it wasn't an enlargement potion.

Albus suddenly realized what exactly it was, however. He wanted to shout it at the top of his lungs. "I'm a bumblebee!!" but it only came out as "bzzz bzzz bzzzzzbzz!!" It was horribly disappointing, to say the least. And then, it wasn't, for Albus realized something. Something great. He was a bumblebee! It didn't matter that he couldn't shout it! All that mattered was that he was in fact a bumblebee!

The tabby cat on the table transformed back into a young woman with strictly short black hair and a quirk on her lips. She crossed her arms and in a smug tone said, "I see all you needed was a little friendly persuasion."

Albus wanted to retort that all he needed was a little unfriendly competition, but he couldn't, and yet again his words only became invigorated "bzzz's!" He quickly concentrated on turning back into his human form. Maybe the same chant would work?... Become the human...become the human...become the human...

"All right then, Albus. You proved your point. Now, are you going to stay as a..." she trailed off for a moment as she pushed her glasses further up the arch of her nose to get a better look, "...red bumblebee just to spite me?"

"Bzzzz! Bzzbzz bzzz!"

He tried to explain. It wasn't working. He flew around in a little frantic circle in an effort to alleviate both his stress and his new-found bee-ish form. It wasn't working. He couldn't turn back!

Minerva pushed her glasses up again and stared at him in bemusement. "Bumblebee charades?"

"BZZ!" He wanted to sting her. He would sting her, but she, at the time, was the only one who knew he was a bumblebee.

The rush of possibilities came at him suddenly. He was a bumblebee. He could get wherever he wanted. He could sneak around without being noticed. He, being a young man after all, knew that getting wherever he wanted held many possibilities. He could accidentally find his way into one of the female teacher's rooms...maybe Minerva's, even.

Minerva watched as the red bumblebee in front of her seemed to spin around with evil glee. She was beginning to decide that this was enough. "Albus, I realize that you are now a bumblebee, and I'm happy for you. But if you find it in that little striped body of yours to change back, I'd be very appreciative."

And that's when all of Albus's plans crashed down around him. He was stuck as a bumblebee. He could sneak into various rooms, but he would remain a bumblebee. He couldn't do anything.

Minerva watched as the bumblebee buzzed a very depressed "bzz." The black-haired professor was starting to get rather sick of staring at a red bumblebee, depressed or not. "Albus. Turn. Back. Now," she said in her rehearsed clipped tone.

"Bzzbz!" ("I can't!")

"Albus."

"Bzzz!" ("Help! I can't turn into a human! I'm stuck as a red bumblebee! I was going to sneak everywhere but now I can't because I'm stuck as a bumblebee! I'm sure I could sneak places, but I couldn't do anything!")

Minerva sighed. This was becoming grating. It wasn't funny anymore - it was barely funny in the first place. "I'm leaving. When you decide to join the human race again, I will be waiting." Her eyes narrowed behind her glasses. "Only after you've joined the human race again. I have a slight dislike of bumblebees."

Albus (other than feeling a little insulted) "bzzz'ed" frantically as she left the room, slamming the door behind her.

What was he going to do now? He was stuck in the Transfiguration room with classes tomorrow. And Minerva was mad at him. How would his pupils react seeing their Transfiguration teacher stuck as a bumblebee? And Minerva was mad at him. And he couldn't open the door - he'd have to go through the keyhole (how humiliating) - and he'd starve to death! Hogwarts, no matter how much it served to please, did not serve what bumblebees normally dined upon. And...Minerva was mad at him. For being stuck as a bumblebee.

Albus Dumbledore the bumblebee was having a very bad day.

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...and elsewhere in the world, rather close in fact, Pete Cutchins was having a very bad day as well. Pete was a truck driver. A Muggle truck driver, but it should be noted Pete didn't know he was a Muggle. It should be noted, in fact, that Pete knew nothing about wizards and witches. In fact, if he were to see anything of the sort, he would believe that it was hogwash. Absolute hogwash.

Which was why he was having an incredibly bad day.

Pete had been commissioned to deliver crates of weeds to a ruined castle. He only thought they were weeds of course. The potions master at Hogwarts was really ordering in a new supply of herbs that were easier to transport the Muggle way than by magic. But poor Pete thought they were stupid, insignificant weeds. And he hated them.

They stank. And they were forcing him to drive on a lonely stretch of road with no real destination other than a desolate castle where some old man was supposed to meet him. The weeds were making his hayfever act up.

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Albus was almost in a panic. If a bumblbee could hyperventilate, Albus would have done it. He had discovered that the window was open (he refused to go through the keyhole - Minerva would never let him live it down) and he was trying to think whether it was wise or not to fly through it. The wind outside seemed like a dangerous one, and he didn't know if he could fly properly yet. It would be asking for trouble to fly outside when he couldn't fly, exactly.

But Albus was very rambunctious for a young bumblebee. And he figured that he could take a good, solid wind. He was, after all, the Transfiguration teacher at England's best wizarding school. (It should be mentioned that Albus, although a very rambunctious and brave young bumblebee, was also a tad bit overzealous.)

And with that thought, he lifted off of the table where he had plopped to think, and headed for the window in a very heroic sort of way.

The wind that day was incredibly gusty, he realized with a sudden spurt of well-earned panic. His wings were also not working properly, or they were working properly and he wasn't sure how to manage the controls.

He felt himself pushed around by the wind horridly, and he had no control over where he was going. And finally, his little wings gave out and he soared through the sky absent-mindedly, going simply where the wind chose to blow him. It was a very relaxing way of flying. The surroundings of Hogwarts also looked very odd going so fast. Very odd indeed -

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SPLAT!

Pete glared daggers at his windshield. He did not need this. The stupid old man hadn't shown up to pick up the stupid old weeds. And now this. This. Of all things.

"Stupid bugs," Pete muttered and flipped on his windshield wipers.