The Awakening of a Magus

The Awakening of a Magus
Chapter 52 - Thu, Aug 10 - Day 21
What do you think?

Chapter 52 - Thu, Aug 10 - Day 21
What do you think?

"You really have no imagination at all, do you?" Malvina snapped at the young Death Eaters in the room. "All you can think of is blatent, showy violence. You have no ... finesse. Terror is built even more on subtle actions than on grand, showy attacks, and there is less chance of casualties on our side."

"But I always heard about the big attacks," whined Vincent Crabbe, "and the Dark Mark floating over the house of the victims. How glorious it was to torture Muggles, kill enemy wizards, and ... all that."

The adolescent Death Eaters didn't realize that their Lord and Master could magically observe them anywhere in the Dark Fortress, and overhear them anywhere in the world. Voldemort shared Malvina's opinion of the others, and was intensely interested in her strategies. She was young, but she was already well on her way to becoming his favorite, even more than her often-simpering mother. The girl had pride, but tempered it perfectly in her interactions with the Dark Lord. There was fear, but she controlled it ruthlessly.

She was similar to a younger Bellatrix, though the traits he valued were stronger, and those he disdained were nearly absent. These days, Bellatrix had too little control. Oh, he would gladly set her on an enemy, like an attack animal, but the woman was too unbalanced to provide the intellectual and ... other ... services that had made her his favorite in the First War. Time marches on ... another generation takes its place at my side, he thought, then returned his focus to the common room where his younger servants lived.

"If you're so smart, what would you do?" taunted Goyle.

"Let the sign of the Dark Lord become known in the Muggle world, but with stealth and subtlety. If I were in charge of that part of the operation, I would send small teams out: sometimes to their slums, to take their homeless; sometimes to remote estates, to take their most wealthy; perhaps late at night to their most secure locations, to steal some menial, or someone who worked long hours. Instead of displaying the Mark blatently to draw attention, perhaps a reversal on the Muggle-repelling charm could bring witnesses. They wouldn't even understand why they were drawn to the places."

Dreamily, she continued. "At each location, one example would be left: after Crucio had done its job to leave the fool with an agonized expression, the Killing Curse would finish the job. With the body, we would leave a black medallion showing the Mark in green, the victim's name etched on the back. Perhaps a Mark might be painted on the wall in blood discreetly taken from the body, the wound healed so the Muggles wouldn't understand how the blood was taken. The rest of the targets would be captured alive, to be kept here as Dementor fodder or for our master's rituals. In their place, other medallions with their names would be left, red medallions with a green Mark, so their fates were uncertain. The Muggles wouldn't know if the missing were dead or alive, kidnapped for ransom, enslaved, or whatever. Terror touched with hope can be quite devastating, especially as that hope is destoyed. Then, perhaps, after they had served a purpose here, they could be left at random, supposedly secure locations, again with personalized black medallions. Oh, and we must leave a scrying spell to watch the reaction of those who discover what we've done." She sighed as she imagined her thoughts becoming actions.

The boys had various reactions to her insidious ideas: awe, jealousy, respect. All felt a wicked thrill at the images she presented. Then, they felt nothing but fear as they realized the Dark Lord had appeared in their common room. They scrambled to kneel before their master. Malvina, however, stood gracefully from her chair for a brief moment, executed a perfect courtly bow, then knelt before her lord, her face bright with her devotion.

"Girl, come forward," Voldemort quietly ordered. Malvina stood carefully, stepped closer, her eyes slightly cast aside in respect, but not so completely that she would miss any movements of her master. Her master laughed, but in a way that few had heard ... not the usual malevolent laughter, but more ... amused. "Your thoughts have merit, girl. I approve. You will plan three such sorties for me, with different types of targets, and present those plans at tonight's meeting. If your plans produce the effects you believe, and they may indeed, you will have earned a place in my Inner Circle, and at my side ... for now." Perhaps, even as my consort, he thought. She is, after all, Klaatu-mehr and of fitting lineage. His abnormally long, white fingers caught her chin and he raised her face to look at him directly. "Yes, Malvina, my dear, I very much like how you think," he said with a frightening smile, his inhuman eyes penetrating deep into her mind and soul.

Malvina felt a dark thrill and she smiled without fear. "Everything I am is yours to command, my Lord. Everything," she whispered.

"So, what's the plan for the rest of the day?" asked Sirius. They had finished lunch, and were preparing to go their separate ways, nursing one last beverage before departing.

"I have a few more errands at the Ministry," commented Remus. "And you, Padfoot, have a job to go back to, I believe," he scolded.

"Aww, Moony, I wanted to take Harry on a joke shop run. Think of how many more ... people there will be at Hogwarts this year." Glancing at the headmaster, he muttered, "You didn't hear that, right Albus?"

Harry answered, "Well, thanks for the thought, Sirius, but I don't think I'm going to have time to tease my friends this term. I'm going to have to leave that to others."

"Teasing friends is well and good," lectured his godfather, "but what about everyone else?"

The young man knew he would disappoint his godfather, but still said quietly, "Paddy, I'm just not a good prankster. I'm sorry."

Snape broke in when he saw the frown on the face of the animagus. "Really, Black. Even I know the boy is far more like Lupin here than like you and his father." Snape remembered those fleeting memories of Harry being bullied that he had 'seen', and knew the boy hated to talk about them. "Leave him be."

"What would you know, Snivellus?" demanded Sirius.

"Stop it, Sirius," Harry said sharply. "Thanks, Severus, for trying to deflect him, but I think this needs to be said. Sirius, I'm not a prankster at heart. I guess I'm a failure as the son and godson of Marauders, but I've been a victim far too often to enjoy the humiliation of others. In the Muggle world, I've never been able to fight back. In the Wizarding world, I don't start the fight, but I try to finish it."

Draco snapped, "Well, you didn't seem to mind the time I was turned into a bouncing ferret? What about that, huh?"

"As I recall, you started the fight that day. Fake-Moody just finished it. And yes, I enjoyed it. And I still feel guilty about enjoying it." Harry started shouting, but ended on a whisper. "When did I ever start a hostile encounter? How many times did I just ask you to go away?"

/- Perhaps if I show them my memory of your encounter with Burnett, they may have a better idea. I picked up a bit of your past memories that day. If I do this, they can learn without you having to talk about it. -/ Snape looked at Harry with unexpected kindness in his eyes, though his expression was otherwise neutral. At Harry's nod, he asked, /- Shall I include you? -/ He received another nod, and continued aloud.

"I'm going to show you an incident from last week. I want you to think about how a Marauder would have handled the situation. Perhaps you'll understand him a bit better." Snape tried not to sneer, since he had his own negative memories of the Marauder days. However, he could not make the same claim that Harry did ... he had deliberately triggered the incidents almost as often as he was ambushed. Without waiting for a response, Snape isolated the memories from that day, caught hold of the Circle link to those present, and pushed the memory to them.

Harry and another young man at a complicated piece of exercise equipment ... a very large, very angry body builder approaching ... O'Banyon warning Snape about the troublemaker ... Snape warning Harry ... Harry's memories of being bullied ... Snape's regrets ... Harry's softspoken response to the bully's challenge ... the understated display of effortless strength ... the quiet parting comments ... the shell-shocked expressions on the faces of everyone in the gym, expressions that Harry didn't even notice. No gloating, no blatent humiliation, just a quiet statement warning the bully not to underestimate his victims in the future.

Dumbledore and Remus looked at Harry with quiet pride, Draco's respect and understanding increased a significant amount, but Sirius still didn't seem to really understand. Remus placed his hand on his old friend's arm to get his attention. "Sirius, he's the son of both James and Lily, but he is his own man. He -is-not-James-reborn-. I suspect that he would have been different like this even if they had been alive to raise him. Even if you had raised him." Remus' voice dropped to a whisper. "Let go, Padfoot."

Sirius looked at Harry, trying to see him as if he were a stranger, instead of his lost friend's son. He would still, by physical resemblence, guess the young man was related to James or Lily, but he was, indeed, different. Sirius saw eyes that already had more pain and world-weariness than his parents had known even at the height of the First War. He saw a compassion and sense of fairness that would prevent Harry from initiating most 'encounters', be it a prank or an attack. He saw a protective streak that would demand the young man defend his friends, or even strangers, not only from harm, but from hurt, from emotional pain as well. He saw a sense of justice that would drive the Magus to track down those who had seriously harmed others ... once he could be sure his powers were completely at his command. And in spite of his fame, wealth, power, and charisma, the Gryffindor avoided arrogance and excessive pride, and still had traces of shyness and a sense of wonder at the simplest things.

He whispered, "I never thought I'd say this, but you're right, Severus. I've remade him to fit my expectations as badly as you did in the past. Harry, I'm sorry I let myself make assumptions about you, instead of really learning who you were. I'll do my best not to push you to be something you're not. Can you forgive this old dog?"

Harry's response was a wave of emotion across the Circle link, affection, gratitude, forgiveness, regret at his godfather's losses and prison experience, understanding, and more that had no name. As both Harry and Sirius were being overwhelmed, Harry pulled back and just said, "Just try not to get too carried away, okay? Not everyone has the same ... unique sense of humor you do."

To break the tension, Dumbledore returned to the topic that had triggered this confrontation. "I need to stop at Flourish & Blotts to check on new volumes for the Hogwarts library and my own. After that, Severus and I both need to return to school for meetings and orientations. Remus, I believe you and Sirius both have business at the Ministry this afternoon. I would like to call an Order meeting this evening after dinner. Harry, are the new facilities far enough along to begin meeting there?"

"The Chamber is mostly ready, Albus. I just need to finish some of the living quarters, workrooms, the lab and library. The meeting areas and the wards are all in place," Harry reported. "I'll need to bring each person in separately their first time. I should do that ahead of time for everyone currently at Hogwarts. Then I'll have less to key in just before the meeting starts. Just give me a list of everyone involved. If I haven't met them yet, we can fire-call from your office to give me a fix."

"I'll contact everyone this afternoon and provide you a list of those who can attend," agreed the headmaster. "Though she isn't officially part of the Order yet, I will be asking the Minister to join us tonight. She needs to know what occurred last night at the Dark Fortress." Glancing at Snape, Harry, and Draco, he asked, "Would you three care to join me regarding the library additions?"

"Oh, Hermione will be so jealous," grinned Harry. "Lead on, headmaster."

"Yes, Headmaster," assured Mr. Blott, leading the party into a back room. "Madam Pince has prioritized the selections, but as she did not have the final library budget, she could not confirm how many of the volumes could be procured this year. All the recent volumes are in here. I will bring the rare book offerings over to that table for your review. Professor Snape, I have several selections you may be interested in, though I'm afraid some are rather costly."

Handing a document to the bookseller, Dumbledore sighed. "The final budget was less than I had hoped for. The Board decided that the temporary acquisition of the libraries of our visiting institutions made it unnecessary to even maintain last year's library budget, let alone increase it." Seeing the three piles of books, 'Must Have', 'Should Have' and 'Wish to Have', he realized that they would be hard pressed to purchase everything under 'Must Have' with the current library funds. He thought he might be able to subsidize the balance of the 'Must Have' pile, but the rest ...

"Professor Dumbledore?" Harry asked formally, since they were in public. "If the library won't be purchasing all of those, well, I've been thinking that I'll need to get my personal library off the ground ... for my apprentice studies. Once I'm done with them, I could donate them to the school library, couldn't I? My personal vault should be able to cover the expense, and if I run short, I can access the family funds beginning tomorrow."

Snape, Draco, and Dumbledore fought to restrain their grins. As quickly as Harry was able to totally absorb a book these days, the remainder of the library selections would be in Madam Pince's hands before the end of the month. Also, Dumbledore knew just how much Harry had in his personal vault. In order to prevent the Dursleys from draining Harry's school trust fund, the headmaster had been designated to receive annual financial statements until Harry was of age to take over his own assets.

"If you are sure you want to do this, Harry, I can confirm that your current funds are more than enough to cover the whole lot, including the rare books, if it came to that," answered Dumbledore gratefully.

"In that case, add the rare books that you don't take for yourselves to the lot," Harry insisted. "Power without knowledge won't get us through this war, and you know that money doesn't mean that much to me. The answers we need to survive could be somewhere in those piles." He stared at the books and scrolls, hoping they could guide him on the path to defeating Slytherin's Heir.

Once Dumbledore, Snape, and even Draco had made their selections from the rare books table, Mr. Blott happily wrote up bills to Hogwarts, up to the amount of the budget, and to Harry for the rest of the lot. "If you sign here, Mr. Potter, it will authorize a transfer of funds from your vault, so you don't need to withdraw the cash and bring it to the store." Glancing at Dumbledore, he continued. "Since Headmaster Dumbledore vouches for you, I can waive the holding period while the transfer clears." He directed two employees regarding which volumes to pack for Hogwarts, and which to pack for the Potter Library. Once the books and scrolls were boxed, shrinking and feather-light charms were used to put the lot into one bag per library.

"You know, Albus," said Harry quietly as they left, "it's a relief that it was your influence that let us take the books now. He didn't do it just because I'm the Boy-Who-Lived. I think I'm going to like doing business with that man. Whatever I take over tomorrow, I'm sure the family library will need a complete overhaul."

"Mr. Blott and his partner Flourish are both qualified and completely honest in their dealings. You could not do better than to work with them, which is why they have both Hogwarts' and my own exclusive patronage," answered Dumbledore. "Now then," he continued. "Severus, I believe you have a departmental meeting shortly with the DADA and the sports and physical training faculty. I have a meeting with the headmasters and headmistresses."

Severus nodded in agreement. "We need the two of you," he said to Harry and Draco, "to assist in the physical training orientation at 4 pm. We'll be running all current students through an overview of the gym, demonstrations on the equipment, plus martial arts and swordsmanship orientation. Rolanda, Amelia, Rachel and I will have our hands full, so we need your assistance on the exercise equipment and the swordmanship. We hope to do a preliminary classification of all students based on their skill levels. Some sort of physical training will be required of every student this term, but we need to place the students effectively."

"Will there be time for Harry to stop at Madam Malkin's? He'll need at least one outfit for the memorial tomorrow," Draco asked.

"Right. I can probably get by with this apprentice outfit for the Gringotts meeting, but I need to make just the right impression in the afternoon," Harry agreed.

Snape reached out to take Harry's book bag, and mindcalled with a wicked smile, /- Tonks? Harry and Draco should have an escort to Malkin's, but Albus and I have business at Hogwarts. -/

/- Malkin's? -/ Tonks replied with a mental smirk. Focussing on her Circle connection with the four of them, she Apparated to the group. "Wotcher, Harry, cuz. I'll come along, if you don't mind. I haven't seen Amethyst in ages." Tonks reached over and grabbed Harry's now unencumbered arm in a possessive manner, to the intense amusement of the group.

With a shy smile, Harry teased, "You'll protect me from her, won't you Dora?"

Choking on laughter, Draco grabbed the Auror's other arm, "Oh yes, cousin, he desperately needs protection. You know how our lovely Amethyst can be when she sees something she wants. And she wants, I'm telling you. It's obvious from those design canvases. Whew!" Draco gestured and mugged to indicate a very ... overheated state. This last caused Harry to blush brightly, but he didn't mind the teasing, and he definitely didn't mind having such a sweet lady on his arm.

Tonks, Harry and Draco appeared in the Entrance Hall doubled over in laughter. If looks could kill, the glaring duel between Amethyst Malkin and Nymphadora Tonks would have resulted in severe casualties several times over. Harry had decided, and Draco had agreed, that whether Harry and Tonks actually ended up officially dating, he should ask her to be his escort any time he had to deal with 'the public' or wizarding society.

Tonks had been surprised, but very pleased when Draco 'reminded' Harry that Tonks would need a new ensemble for when she accompanied him to the Malfoy memorial the next day. Though she tried to pay for the elegant dark brocade outfit herself, Harry insisted on covering the bill, apologizing via mindspeech that he hadn't gotten around to asking her formally if she would accompany him to her aunt's and uncle's service. She gladly agreed with a quiet smile.

This left Amethyst with the mixed emotions of jealousy of her rival, and pleasure at the sales. By the time they left the store with one outfit each for Harry, Draco, and Tonks, (and the next two outfits for Harry to be owled the next day), it was apparent that Amethyst had reluctantly conceded Mr. Potter to her former dormmate ... for now.

There were quite a few students milling around as the three headed to the large bulletin board which displayed the day's events. As they checked for their various areas of responsibility and interest, Ron and Hermione found them, still exchanging humorous comments about the day. "There you are, Harry," called Hermione. "Professor Crafter was asking when you would return. She said you're to report to the gym by 3:45." Looking at Draco, she added, "And Professor Snape said you need to report to the Great Hall at the same time with your weapons, Draco. I didn't realize you had blade training. What level have you reached?" Among her other interests, Hermione had a scholarly, though not yet practical interest in ancient and medieval weapons, and had attended several jousting and swordfighting demonstrations in the Muggle world.

Ron looked at both Hermione and Draco in surprise, then glanced at Harry trying to decide which group he would rather check out, since they both started at the same time. Deciding he wanted to stick with his girlfriend, he joined Hermione as she walked with Draco towards his quarters to help fetch his weapons collection. Ron found he was interested in spite of himself, and by the time they were headed back to the Great Hall, he had gone so far as to ask Draco to teach him some basic moves and strategies.

Tonks and Harry were walking in the direction of the Headmaster's Tower to drop off his clothes in his room. Tonks was telling him about wizarding memorials, since she had experience due to Auror assignments at such events. Even with the truces dictated by tradition, some families broke out into violent confrontations. Tonks would not be the only Auror at the Malfoy memorial, even if the Minister hadn't chosen to attend.

"Harry, do you have a minute?" asked a female voice. Turning to greet Cho Chang, Harry realized that he no longer had any particular feelings for the girl he had crushed on all last year. He wasn't sure if it was because he had moved on, or if Cedric's death had been a part of it, or if his attraction to Tonks had taken its place. It didn't matter. Cho was just another schoolmate now. Odd.

Glancing at Tonks, he asked, "Can I meet you later to plan for tomorrow?"

Tonks glanced at the pretty Chinese girl, assessing her with an expert eye, recognizing in her many qualities similar to her friend Amethyst. "Sure, Harry," she said agreeably, though she mentally commented, /- Barracuda at twelve o'clock, Potter. Be warned. -/

Harry gave Tonks a puzzled look, but nodded as she headed off to her own quarters to drop off her clothes. "Well, Cho, I need to drop off these clothes in my room, then head for the gym, but we can talk along the way. Okay?"

Cho was unsettled by some of the changes she saw in Harry's manner, though she was extremely pleased with how Harry's look had developed since end of term. "I was just wondering how you were doing this summer, after, well, you know." She smiled as her eyes gave him a thorough check-out. "You're looking really good, Harry." She was pleased to see him blush, and assumed that he still was crazy about her.

"Well, I just had a growth spurt, you know. Most of it wasn't my doing, though I did start working out this summer. That's why I need to meet Professor Crafter up in the gym, to help with the equipment demonstrations." He looked at the former object of his attentions. "How are you holding up, Cho? I know this has been a rough summer for you, too."

Cho's eyes began to gleam with so far unshed tears. "Oh Harry, it's been so hard without ... Cedric. Harry, I need to ask ... please, I need to know. Did he say anything about me, send any last message for me before he ... died?" She said the last in a choked whisper, the tears beginning to fall.

The last thing Harry wanted to do was relive that night, but he felt he owed it to Cedric's girlfriend, and the girl who used to hold his infatuation. He headed through the nearest door to find a place they could sit for a few minutes. Gathering his courage, he said, "When we both grabbed the Goblet, the portkey took us to a graveyard. We only had a few moments to wonder what was going on. Cedric suggested we take out our wands. Then, well the thing that held Voldemort's spirit, and his servant, Wormtail showed up." He was oblivious to Cho's shudder at the Dark Lord's name, since he was staring blankly at the wall as he spoke in a monotone. "Wormtail had his master's wand. Voldemort just said, 'Kill the spare,' Wormtail used the Killing Curse, and Cedric was ... gone. Later, while I was fighting with Voldemort, a strange thing happened with our wands, and these ... echos of everyone killed by Voldemort's wand came out. The first was Cedric, then others ... including my parents. The echos caused a distraction to let me get away. Cedric's echo told me, 'Harry, take my body back, will you? Take my body back to my parents.' I managed to get away to Cedric's body, grabbed the portkey, and I guess you know the rest." Harry's voice was barely audible by then.

Cho just sat there, staring at Harry. "He didn't mention me? Not at all?"

Not really understanding, Harry just said, "There wasn't time for conversation, Cho. There just wasn't time. You don't understand. I wish I hadn't suggested we take the cup together. He insisted that I take it, but I didn't think that was right. He wouldn't take it alone, so I said, 'together', and if I hadn't he might still be here. If I had taken it alone, only I would have been at risk. Though I suppose if I'd convinced him to take it alone, we might never have known what happened to him. I just don't know, Cho."

After a long silence, Cho looked at Harry sharply, "You're going to that Malfoy memorial tomorrow, but you couldn't be bothered to come to Cedric's, to be there for me. I thought you liked me, Harry."

Harry was shocked. "Cho, no one told me about Cedric's memorial. I expect it happened while I was at home with my Muggle relatives. I wasn't notified of anything. I ... assume I wasn't welcome. If I'd known anyone wanted me there, I would have asked Dumbledore to arrange it somehow."

Cho seemed placated by this, but then began to look at Harry in an odd, almost predatory manner. "Oh, if that's how it is, I forgive you, Harry."

Harry was appalled to realize Cho was projecting her thoughts and emotions rather strongly just then. Before he could strengthen his blocks, he heard, /- Well, he certainly is worth looking at now, not the sloppy little puppy he was last year. We'd make a good couple, and I deserve only the best. It looks like he's got plenty of money now ... those robes he's wearing aren't cheap, and I hear he's getting a full wardrobe of Amethyst Malkin Originals. And being wrapped up in -those- arms ... -/

Both embarrassed and angry, Harry stood up suddenly. "Thanks for that, Cho, but I have to be going. I have a lot of responsibilities to see to today, plus I'll need to plan for the memorial tomorrow. I'm attending with Ms. Tonks, you know, the woman I was with when you came by? She's Draco's cousin and an Auror. See you around."

Before Cho could say another word, Harry was out the door. She ran to the doorway, but Harry was nowhere in sight. In a fit of pique, she pulled out her wand and blasted the seat Harry had been using, then flounced out to look for someone more deserving of her company.

Harry appeared in front of the fireplace in the Magus Tower. His hands on the mantle slowly clenched into fists, which then slammed down in anger, fracturing the marble and sending up a cloud of rock dust as the mantle collapsed and the room shook a bit. "Bloody hell!" he swore, both at the initial cause of his anger, and at the devastating results. Taking a deep breath, he calmed, then murmured a quick Reparo to fix the damage. Turning, he saw Tonks looking at him in sympathy, arranging some of his new books onto shelves across the room. "I think I understand your warning now," he told her.

"If you want to talk ... or not ... whatever," she murmured helplessly. "Did you still ... like her?" Tonks asked carefully.

Harry looked at her in surprise. "Not the way you mean ... not anymore, thank heaven. How did you know?"

Tonks blushed slightly and smiled, "Well, it wasn't a state secret last year now, was it? I was around here on duty quite a bit last year, in disguise or invisible, especially during any tournament events ... the three tasks, the Yule Ball, any time the Ministry made an appearance. Crikey, Harry, I never saw flying like what you did to get the egg. But back to Chang, I think that anyone who wasn't preoccupied with their own date, or the date they really wanted, could see where your attention was. Too bad you never noticed how many girls stared at you the way you stared at Chang," Tonks grinned.

"You're joking, right?" Harry said, half laughing, until Tonks slowly shook her head 'no' with a grin.

"Some of it is the fame stuff, of course; some of it was the fact that, despite ... or maybe because of ... being small for your age, and having messy hair and glasses, you were cute as hell." She grinned at Harry's grimace. "Besides, after watching you during the first task, your name could have been Engelbert Humperdinck and people would have wanted you to notice them. You were an amazing kid. You're an even more amazing man. Let me guess ... she wanted you for a 'trophy'."

Harry nodded. "That probably sums it up. Last year, Cedric was a better trophy. He's gone now, and my 'rating' has gone up. At least Amethyst is honest about what she wants and why. This ... I almost feel slimed. I couldn't block her thoughts fast enough." He plopped down onto the couch. "It's only going to get worse, isn't it," he sighed.

"'Fraid so, my friend," she sat beside him, tentatively placing her hand on his shoulder. "If it helps, I'm willing to run interference, like I did with Amethyst, even if you aren't interested in ... any more than that." She paused, then cautiously continued. "I'm not going to say that 'the new you' doesn't affect me ... that would be a very stupid lie. But I want you to know, and you're free to do anything you like to prove it to yourself, I liked and admired 'just Harry' all last year. I sometimes even thought silly thoughts like waiting for you to 'grow up' so I could hang out with you without getting into trouble. You understand what it's like to be judged by appearance or expectation, or by what you are, instead of who you are. I hoped I could let you know that I know something about what that's like."

Harry looked at her oddly, then commented. "Oh, is that why you never use your real form? I thought it might be because you were too striking, too memorable for your line of work ... though pink hair is kinda memorable, too. Or because people would expect you to be an airhead, because you were so beautiful." Harry said this with an honest sincerity and puzzlement that totally stunned the Metamorphmagus.

"You can see what I really look like?" she whispered.

"If I look at you just right, yeah," he said quietly. "I wonder if that's why ..." his voice trailing off. At the questioning look in the Auror's eyes, he elaborated. "I wonder if that's why you're so ... you have ... coordination issues ... because you never spend enough time as the real you. You're really taller and ... uh ... more ..." he vaguely gestured at her upper torso. The true natural form of Nymphadora Tonks seemed appropriate for her given name ... tall, statuesque, long wavy honey-gold hair, her hour-glass figure enough to give competition to a part-veela. "Would you ... ?" he asked, wondering if she would show her real self to him.

She stood with a shy smile and, breathing a sigh of relief, relaxed into her true form, as she rarely did. Absently, Harry thought that she was just the perfect height for him. She explained, "My first few years at school, I was short and a bit pudgy. I started to have some control over my shifting by the time I was 15. That's also when I started 'growing up' fairly quickly. It was wonderful at first. But ..." She had a hurt, haunted look in her eyes. "Everyone assumed I was deliberately making myself look better. Students would tease me about 'trying to fix my inadequacies' or commenting that I 'couldn't get laid' as my real self, so I had to give myself a makeover. Adults just seemed ... disappointed in me. So I studied the mechanics of morphing very carefully and developed a more subdued form, a projection based on how I looked when I was younger. Once I started using that form, people seemed happier. 'Just be yourself, Nymphadora,' they'd say," her voice in a sarcastic sing-song that almost broke.

"Then I decided being the class clown was what they expected, so I gave it to them. You're only the third person to see me this way and know that it's me. My late teacher, Zeb and Kingsley are the other two." She grinned a bit. "Sometimes on duty I'll use this look when it seems like seduction will work better than intimidation or distraction." Then the frown returned. "Or when I've had a boyfriend that wanted me to look like his ideal lover," she said in self-disgust. "For awhile there, I thought it was worth it to get their attention, but eventually I realized it wasn't ... it was degrading. Too many people just pay attention to the packaging, good or bad, and not what's inside." She looked at Harry begging his understanding. "You're different, Harry."

"Dora," he said hesitantly, "I'm not sure what you want. I'm not sure what I want. You know that ..."

"I know the dragon prophecy, Harry. And though I like you very, very much, I'm sure that neither of us wants anything permanent beyond friendship." She smiled, "Though, if you decide you're interested in being 'friends with benefits', it would take very little persuasion on your part." She tilted her head as though to see if he understood what she was saying.

He nodded to show he understood what she was implying. "Anything like that, well, I'd need to ... take it slow, you know ..."

Tonks smiled, "Oh, are you trying to say that you're a little ... limited in your experience?"

"Nothing of the kind," he answered in mock indignation. "I have no experience whatsoever!" He blushed, then amended, "Well, I suppose that's not quite true." Dora grinned, assuming he'd at least had some good snogging time along the way. "Let's see, I kissed Ginny once, but that was to prove to her that ... we didn't like each other that way. And I kissed Hermione once, but that was to prove to Ron that we didn't like each other that way." Realizing how that came out, he stuttered, "Me and 'Mione, not me and Ron." Tonks laughed. Then Harry looked at her shyly. "And last night, you kissed me, and I didn't have a chance to kiss back." Pretending to search his memory, he finished. "Yeah, that's it, one step above 'no experience whatsoever'."

Surprised, reminding herself that by the calendar he was 15, even if in all other respects he was 18, she teased him, "Oh, do you need lessons then?"

His eyes grew darker, softer, and with a small but self-satisfied smirk, he answered, "From Gin and 'Mione's reactions, I don't think lessons are an issue, though some practice might be of assistance ... any suggestions, lovely lady?"

(to be continued)