Careers Advice - Slytherin

Written by magic dictation quill:

S: Come in, Draco. At least I don't have to explain to you why you're here ...unlike some.

D: So, just why am I here, sir?

S: Yes, very amusing, Draco.

D: No, I'm serious. I don't see why I need to be here. I already know exactly what I want to do when I leave school.

S: Well, you've obviously given this some serious thought. Would you care to share your plans?

D: I'll do exactly what father does: bugger all.

S: Your father does what?

D: Bugger all.

S: Yes ...well I've had my suspicions for some time ...but are you sure that kind of lifestyle would suit you?

D: Of course it would. I've already started.

S: Well ...you certainly seem secure in this decision. How would you say what you're doing now compares to your previous ...experiences?

D: It's a lot easier for a start.

S: Really?

D: Oh yeah. There's a lot less hassle and it's not nearly as stressful.

S: I suppose that's one way of looking at them.

D: Now I can just lie back and relax. It comes so naturally.

S: Thank you, Mr. Malfoy, that's quite enough information.

D: So I can go then?

S: Not just yet. We still need to discuss your choice of career.

D: I thought that's what we'd been talking about?

S: Just a moment, Draco. Do you mean you plan to make a living from it? Oh Merlin, I'm glad you're telling me this now. Listen to me, Draco; you are an intelligent, ambitious, gifted young man.

D: Thank you sir, but I don't see what that has to do with what we've been discussing.

S: It has everything to do with what we've been discussing! Draco, I'm trying to help you realise that becoming a rent boy would be a terrible waste of your talents!

D: A ...what did you say?

S: Selling your body to complete strangers, Draco, is that really all you feel you're fit for?

D: I think we've been talking about two different things, sir.

S: Well, I know what I've been talking about. Just what have you been talking about?

D: I've been talking about living off my family fortune and doing bugger all.

S: Ah ...

D: I shudder to imagine what you've been talking about, sir.

S: Yes ...well ...getting back to the original point. You want to spend the rest of your life mooching off of your parents? What about becoming a contributing member of wizarding society?

D: Sod wizarding society. Why should I contribute to society when it's done so little for me?

S: So what you're saying is that you wish to put everything that I and the other teachers here have worked so hard to try and teach you to waste, ultimately spitting in our faces. On top of all that your only plan in life is to live off your family fortune while hard working people like me waste our time teaching for a meagre salary and watch the years pile on?

D: Yep, that pretty much hits the nail on the head, sir.

S: Get out, you disgusting little adolescent. Honestly, I think I preferred you when you were a homosexual.