Can I Keep Him?

CHAPTER 4: Average Weasley Morning

In the morning, Neville woke up and found himself slightly confused. He could hear snoring. There shouldn't be anyone in his room. Then again, his room shouldn't be orange either. He looked around and saw Ron sprawled out, facedown, on the bed to one side of him. On his other side he saw Harry, still asleep and drooling a little bit out of the corner of his mouth.

It was still early, hardly seven yet. Neville never tended to sleep this late during the summer. But it didn't look like Ron or Harry would be getting up anytime soon. He went out into the hallway. Maybe Neville could Floo home, take some clothes, and be back before anyone else woke up.

As soon as he entered the stairs, he smelled and heard the sounds of breakfast being made. Quietly, so as not to wake anyone who wasn't already up, he went down into the kitchen where Molly Weasley was cheerfully cooking breakfast.

"Did you sleep alright, dear?" she asked Neville, catching sight of him.

"Fine, thank you," he replied politely, thinking of when he'd woken up to Harry's sleep talking.

"No one gave you a hard time yesterday, did they?"

"No, everyone was very nice."

"That's good. You let me know if any of those freckle-faced louts give you any problems. Why don't you take a seat at the table? I'll have some breakfast ready shortly."

"I can help if you want."

"That's kind, but you don't have to. You could even go back to sleep upstairs if you like. Did I wake you?"

"No, I tend to wake up early in the summer."

"Really? It's impossible to get the boys in this house up early any time of the year. But Arthur and Percy should be down shortly and Bill shouldn't be much longer than them."

Neville started helping her with breakfast.

"Happy Birthday," she said, recalling what he'd said the night before.

"Oh, thanks. I'd pretty much forgotten with all that's happened. I woke up this morning and didn't know where I was for a minute."

"That happens to all of us sometime," she said. "I'm here if you want to talk, you know. I'm a very good listener," she said kindly.

"I don't think I'm ready to talk. I...haven't told the others why I'm here. Only you and Ginny."

"Arthur knows too. I told him last night. The others are going to find out sooner or later. Her name is going to appear in the obituaries column in The Prophet either today or tomorrow," she said gently.

"I hadn't thought about that," Neville said, realizing how stupid he was. At least when they found out, Ron might stop thinking he was a spy.

"Morning, Molly," greeted Arthur, coming down the stairs.

"Good morning," she replied.

"Ah, Neville, isn't it? Good morning to you too."

"Good morning, Mr. Weasley."

"Are Bill and Percy on their way down yet?" asked Mrs. Weasley.

"I think Percy is in the shower now. I don't know about Bill." Arthur told her, taking a
seat at the table.

"I don't want him to be late for work. I'm so happy Bill's still working in London a while longer. And Charlie too. I missed them so much when they were away for so long. It's so nice to have everyone living at home. I'm glad Percy came back to us. I was afraid of losing him forever."

Neville noticed that Mr. Weasley didn't look quite as happy as she did about this, but he was still glad to have his son back. Especially since it made Molly happy. Neville suddenly wondered just how many people were currently living under this roof. Well there were the seven Weasley children, plus Harry and Hermione, and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, and now himself. So that made it 12 people. Twelve. That was certainly a lot of people. He was so used to it only being Gran and himself.

He worked up enough nerve to ask, "Since I'm staying, is it okay if I bring a couple of my plants back with me today? Some of them need attention a couple of times a day during this time of the year."

"Of course, dear. There's the garden out back. Or if you have them in pots you could keep them in Ron's room."

Percy, dressed and ready for work, came downstairs, said his good mornings, and took the plate of food his mother offered him. He sat down at the table.

Neville watched as Bill more or less dragged Charlie down the stairs and to the table.

Charlie sat down heavily at the table, obviously tired and wishing he were still asleep.

"What are you doing down so early?" asked Mr. Weasley.

"Bill said that if he couldn't sleep in, neither could I," Charlie said grumpily, smearing some marmalade on his toast. "I don't even have to be at work until 11."

"What are you complaining about? You kept me up with your snoring half the night anyway," Bill told him, spooning some eggs onto his plate.

"I wasn't snoring, that was Percy. Honestly, Perce sounds like a foghorn."

"I do not snore. Personally I think both of you should sleep on the couches in the living room," Percy said. "All of Charlie's clothes smell like dragon dung and smoke, and you talk in your sleep, Bill."

"They do not," retorted Charlie, sniffing experimentally at the sleeve of his pajamas.

"Yes they do," Percy said.

"Your clothes all look like they came from the Society of Dorks United," Bill said, eyeing Percy's Ministry robes. Compared to the sweater-vests Percy wore on outings to the Muggle world, the official Ministry robes were an improvement.

"As opposed to your classy ensemble?" Percy asked distastefully.

"What's wrong with the way I look?" Bill asked indignantly.

"Your hair is too long, it's too hot out to wear leather, and earrings are for girls," Percy snapped critically.

Bill's mouth moved wordlessly. Percy had attacked the very core principals of his style.

Charlie, Bill, and Percy all started bickering loudly.

"ENOUGH!" Mrs. Weasley screamed, looming over her three sons and holding a wooden spoon with bits of scrambled egg on it. "Now, I want all of you to apologize stop fighting! That is no way to behave! You're supposed to be setting a good example for the younger children!"

Bill, Charlie, and Percy and had all slid down in their seats. They were looking shame-faced and sheepish, and feeling about two inches tall. "Yes, Mum," they said.

"Apologize to each other now."

There was a muttered round of "sorry".

"That's better," she said. "Now I don't want to hear anymore bickering this morning. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Mum," they said sulkily.

Mrs. Weasley turned away from her sons and back to where Neville was standing at the counter. He was afraid she was going to scream at him, even though he hadn't done anything he could think of. Instead, she was entirely kind when she asked, "Why don't you sit down and help yourself to some breakfast, Neville dear?"

"Er, I'm fine."

"No, no, you're a guest. Sit down and I'll fix you a plate." She took him by the shoulders and steered him toward the table and sat him down. "What do you want? Toast? Ham? Sausage? Eggs?"

"Er..."

She fixed him a plate with a little of everything and sat it down in front of him. "Eat. Get some meat on your bones."

Neville knew he couldn't eat half of what was on the plate and felt he had sufficient "meat on his bones." Gran had been talking about cutting down a little and slimming up some this summer. But he started to eat and ate as much as he could; Mrs. Weasley even tried to put more on his plate. The three brothers started to make small talk.

Mr. Weasley and Percy soon left for work. When they'd left, Bill went upstairs to shower and get dressed and said a quick goodbye to his mum before leaving for work. When Bill had left, Charlie was just getting ready to go upstairs and maybe catch a little shut-eye (though Neville suspected he might try and get that letter back from Fred and George).

"Neville, do you want Charlie to go with you to get your things? He doesn't have to leave for almost 3 hours."

"I-I'm not ready to go back over there yet."

"I understand." She squeezed his hand.

He helped her clear the table, and they were almost done when they heard some shouts and clunking noises from upstairs. She went to the bottom of the stairs and called, "What's going on?"

Fred, George, and Charlie called, "Nothing, Mum!" But suspicious noises continued you to float down.

Mrs. Weasley went upstairs and Neville, curious, followed. They entered the twins' room and saw Charlie, Fred, and George wrestling around on the floor. "Give...me...my...letter!" Charlie said.

"No!"

"Just...let...go...of...it!"

"Never! Fred, catch!" George threw a crumpled piece of parchment to Fred.

In all the fighting, the ball of parchment landed under the bed. Charlie saw it and tried to get up, but Fred saw it too. He grabbed Charlie by the hair, "George, get it!"

"FREEZE!" screamed Mrs. Weasley.

They froze.

"What is going on here?" She said, looking at sons with very guilty expressions. Fred and George immediately changed to their, "What could we have possibly done wrong?" faces.

"You see, this letter got delivered to us by mistake, and we were just trying read it and determine who it belonged to before we gave it to anyone."

"Wasn't there a name on it?" asked Mrs. Weasley.

"Well, yes, but not the name of anyone in this house. It said 'Char-Char'. We thought it might be some kind of code..."

"Give Charlie his letter." She started to turn away. "Who is it from, Charlie? Is it that girl you've been seeing? I'd really liked to meet her. Or at least know her name."

Charlie stuffed the ball of parchment in his pocket. "Mum, can't I just say it's somebody you know and I think you'd approve of?"

"But, Charlie, a mother has a right to know," she pleaded.

"We'll tell you, Mum," volunteered George. Normally he and Fred weren't inclined to give information, but it could be useful in easing their punishment. Normally they wouldn't squeal on people either, but this was just too good to pass up.

Mrs. Weasley shot them death glares. "I'll deal with you two later. Come on, Neville, I'll find something of Ron's for you to wear.

Charlie shot a look at the twins, then sized Neville up. Ron was gangly, like Bill was. Charlie and the twins were stockier, a little more solidly built. He noted how the sleeves of the shirt Neville was wearing and the hem of the pants were all too long and Neville looked like the sort who tripped fairly easily. "Neville looks like Fred or George's clothes would fit better than Ron's."

"You're right," Mrs. Weasley said, turning and looking the boy over. "I hadn't considered that possibility. Fred, George, find Neville something to wear. I've got to go take care of some laundry."

When Mrs. Weasley was out of earshot, Charlie glared at Fred and George, "You're going to pay for this."

"Says who? We could still tell who sent you the letter."

"Fine. I don't care who knows."

Fred took a deep breath, "Ro--"

Charlie clamped at hand over his mouth.

George grinned and took a deep breath, "Har--"

Charlie clamped a hand over his mouth too. "Don't even think about it." He turned his head to see Neville, still in the doorway, "I'll see you later, Neville. Give a shout if these two get on your nerves."

Neville just nodded.

"Alrighty, Neville, let's see what we've got here. Do you want Muggle clothes, or robes?"

"These jeans look like they'll fit him," Fred said.

"And this shirt?" George asked his twin.

"No, I like this one better."

"No, I don't think so. How about this?"

"With these jeans?"

"No, those jeans."

Neville went over and sat at the desk while Fred and George were going through clothes and trying to decide what to have him wear. Neville checked out the things on the desk. There were order forms for the joke shop (some of them filled out), a small stack of wands, and some sweets. Neville started leafing through the order forms and reading item descriptions. A lot of the things were pretty ingenious. He saw a toffee and figured it couldn't hurt to have just one. It wasn't going to be like those Canary Creams or anything. Neville popped the small candy in his mouth. Something wasn't right. Something definitely wasn't right. His tongue was starting to swell and it was growing worse by the second. Maybe it was an allergic reaction or something. "Fweb? Worge?" he said thickly.

They didn't seem to hear him.

"Fweb! Worge!" he said, he was barely able to talk now and he was starting to really choke. He got out of his chair and started pulling on their sleeves. His tongue was nearing about 2 ½ feet long now.

"Just a minute, Neville," George said, without turning around.

Neville's tongue was 3 feet now. He kicked George and Fred both in the shins and they finally turned around.

"What is it? Can't you see we're making some critical fashion choices here?" That's when they saw him.

"Why did he have to eat the toffee?" asked Fred miserably.

"Where's your wand?" asked George.

"Under the bed somewhere. I'm not sure. Yours?" asked Fred.

"It's over there, in that stack of fake wands," his twin replied dejectedly.

Neville was really having trouble breathing now and neither seemed to be getting their wand out. Fred got on his knees and was searching for his wand under his bed, and George started search through the fake wands on the desk, trying wands until he found his. The others turned into rubber chickens and plastic mice. "I got it!" He gave the counter-spell and Neville found his tongue shrinking and he could gradually breathe again. "Sorry about that, you were going a bit blue in the face." He brought the chair to Neville and sat him down.

"On the plus side, we've picked an absolutely smashing ensemble for you to wear."

"Yeah. It's really great. Much better than anything you could have found in Ickle-Ronniekins's closet."

Neville blinked. Ickle-Ronniekins? Is that what Ron's family called him when nobody else was around? He tried not to laugh.

"First off we've got blue jeans. Everybody loves denim, right?" Fred tossed the jeans at Neville and they landed on his head.

"Next we've got this fabulous shirt." George tossed Neville an orange shirt that landed on him, hanging by his ear. White lettering on the back said: MESS WITH ME AND I'LL USE WEASLEYS' WIZARD WHEEZES TO MAKE YOUR LIFE A NIGHTMARE. The front had large twin faces looking cross-eyed and having their tongue sticking out. It wasn't a photograph; it was more like someone had drawn it with white ink. The only defining feature on the faces was the sprinkling of freckles on either side of the nose. "You can keep the shirt. It's a promotional item. We've got dozens."

"And to complete the outfit, we've got a snazzy dragon-hide jacket. You can't keep it, but you can wear it today," Fred tossed the jacket at Neville and Neville managed to catch this one with his hands.

"Do you want to borrow some boots? Your sneaks aren't going to look right with that jacket. What size are you? You look to be about the same as me."

Neville told him.

"Yeah, actually, I think I've got a pair that a little snug on me that should work for you."

"Thanks," Neville said.

"No, problem. You just remember to wear that shirt when you go to Diagon Alley and we'll call it even. We could use the advertising."

"Do you need to use the shower?"

"I can wait, if you guys have to get ready for work or something," Neville said.

"We were gonna try to be in by nine today," George said.

"I'll take the first shower," said Fred. Fred grabbed a towel off the floor and left the room.

"You want to see some of our latest products?" asked George.

"Only if you promise not to test them on me," Neville said warily.

George laughed. "Deal. You learn fast. That toffee you tasted was one of our original creations." He picked up different objects on the desk one by one and showed them off. "These are new. Catnap Blow-darts. They're like peashooters, and when you shoot the dart and it hits somebody, they pass out for about five minutes or so. It's actually useful. Over here, we've got Loud-Mouth Lollipops. They make you go mostly deaf for about ten minutes, and you end up talking really loud whether you mean to or not. We mixed a Sonorus charm in with it. Pretty good actually. And in this jar, we've got the latest model for our fireworks. I can't let them out of the jar 'cause it's almost impossible to get them back in." He picked up an ordinary looking quill. "This project is still in the developing stages, but when we're done it's going to be a quill that, when you start writing with it, it starts writing on it's own and starts insulting you. We've got it to the point where it can do insults, like I'm such a prat, and I don't even have good looks to help me get by. But we can't figure out how to personalize it with names and stuff. Maybe we can hex them for personalization as we sell them. But I'm not sure yet."

Fred came back in with a towel around his waist. "Bathroom's free, George. Neville, I think Ron and Harry sounded like they were awake."

"Thanks," George grabbed a towel hanging on the bedpost and left.

Neville thanked Fred for the clothes and went up to Ron's room. He heard voices inside. "He's not here. You don't think he ran away or something, do you?" asked Ron.

"I don't think so. He's not really the running away sort."

"I could tell Mum wanted him to stay here. If he's gone she's gonna kill me."

"Relax. He's probably just downstairs or something."

"Does he usually get up early?"

"Er, not that I can remember."

"Mum is going to kill me. This'll be worse than the time I took Gin's favorite doll and forgot where I hid it."

"Look, Neville can take care of himself. He probably went out for some air or something."

"Look out the window. Do you see him anywhere?"

"No," Harry admitted.

"Mum is going to bury me alive."

Neville decided it was his cue to come in. "Good morning," he said, coming in and dropping the clothes on his bed.

"Where you been?" asked Ron.

Neville shrugged. "With your brothers and your parents. Kinda nice. I'm an only child, you know."

"Did you get a good night's sleep last night?"

"Oh, yeah. Fine." Neville said.

Harry blinked as though just remembering something. "Happy Birthday, Neville."

Neville was surprised. "How'd you know it was my birthday?"

"Somebody told me you had the same birthday as me, and I just remembered what day it is."

"Happy Birthday to both of you," Ron said. "Anybody want breakfast?"

"I ate. I've been up for a couple of hours," Neville explained.

"Well, I'm starved," Harry said. He turned to Ron, "I've been waiting all summer for your Mum's cooking."

Ron laughed. "Yeah, she knows how those Muggles treat you, so she always tries to fatten you up when you come over."

The three of them started downstairs. When they got to the kitchen, Ginny and Hermione were already at the table. Like the boys, they'd come down in their pajamas (unlike the boys, the girls had brushed their hair). Fred and George were dressed and almost done eating since they were leaving for the shop soon.

"Good morning, Ron, Harry, Neville," Mrs. Weasley said, giving them each a plate piled with food. She looked at Neville again, "Didn't Fred and George give you something to wear?" She shot a look at her aforementioned sons.

Neville hurriedly explained, "Oh no. They gave me something to wear. I just didn't get dressed yet."

"Good. Then I don't have to strangle them this time."

Hermione looked at the new arrivals, "Good morning, Ron, Harry, Neville."

Ginny didn't bother to greet her brother or Harry other than a nod as they sat down. When everyone else was talking again, she asked Neville quietly, "How are you doing?"

"Not too bad, I guess."

"Are you sure you're alright?" Ginny asked.

"I'll be fine," he said.

"What are you kids doing today?" asked Mrs. Weasley.

"I vote for Quidditch," said Ron. "We've got half the Gryffindor team here, after all."

"It's too hot outside to fly. I want to go swimming. There's enough water in the pond," said Ginny.

"We could always walk down to the village and catch a movie. I've got some Muggle money on me," suggested Hermione.

"Harry? Neville? It's your birthday today," Mrs. Weasley reminded them.

"Quidditch sounds good to me," said Harry.

Neville weighed his options. He still couldn't really fly, and he was still afraid of heights. So he really didn't want to do Quidditch. He wasn't crazy about swimming either. "I've never really spent much time with Muggles. Going down to the village sounds good," he finally said.

Mrs. Weasley looked worried and chewed on her lip. "The village is outside of the new wards that were set up. If something happened to all of you..."

"We'll be fine, Mum," Ron said. "It's not like we can't take care of ourselves."

"But you're not allowed use magic in the summer. You'll be completely unprotected. I'll come with you," Mrs. Weasley said brightly.

"Mum!" whined Ron.

Harry frantically flipped through his mind, trying to think of a cooler chaperone. Lupin wouldn't be bad. But who else was there? "Tonks. We could ask Tonks to come if she's got the day off," he offered.

Ron and Ginny mouthed across the table, "Thank you!"

"I suppose..." Mrs. Weasley said dubiously.

Hermione said, "Tonks is a fully trained Auror. Who better qualified to take care of us?"

"I'll Owl her and see if she's busy. All of you finish up your breakfast. You're not eating, Neville?"

"I'm still full from my first breakfast, thank you."

"Nonsense. You barely touched your plate. Eat up." She went out to go look for some parchment.

Neville wondered to himself how the whole Weasley household wasn't overweight with the way she was insisting on overfeeding him.

"Fred, George? Are you gonna tell us who was writing to Charlie?" Ron asked, before stuffing a forkful of food in his mouth.

Fred and George looked at each other and started laughing. "So much to learn, little brother. As long as you don't know, we can hold it over your head and make you do whatever we want until we see fit to tell you."

"Hey, we have been looking for some new product testers, Fred. What do you think of hiring them?"

"Yeah, that's a great idea. I really don't want to test anymore of those, what did we name them? Face-making flatulence inducers. They're going to be something of an 'I hate Valentines Day' Candy. Or maybe 'Sweets for Your Enemies'. Names will probably change. But I'm sure you can understand what they do. The only problem is the side affects we've been having with them."

"What sort of side effects?" Ron asked cautiously. It had to be bad if even the twins wouldn't take them anymore.

"Er, part of the gag is that you make terrible faces, but our faces seem to be getting stuck that way. Last night I had one eye shut and my tongue sticking out for half an hour."

"There are other side effects too. Less pleasant. But we won't mention them in polite company," George said, winking at Hermione and Ginny.

Ginny snorted. "This from the guy who tried to get me to eat Skiving Snackboxes when they were still in their testing stage? I don't think so. There's no way I'm ending up with boils on my butt like the two of you did."

Neville, Hermione, Ron, Harry, and Ginny all laughed.

Fred and George left the table. "Us geniuses are so under-appreciated. These kids have no idea what kind of pain and effort goes into all our work!" They Disapperated with a small pop of imploding air each.

"I wish I knew who Charlie was dating," Ginny said sourly. "I hate being left out of secrets."

Ron said, "Yeah. It must be pretty embarrassing if it's somebody so awful he won't tell us."

Hermione reasoned, "Maybe, he likes her so much he doesn't want to risk having his brothers scare her away." She had to hide her grin behind a piece of toast as Ron looked at her indignantly.

Ginny grinned at Neville and whispered, "It's so much fun to watch the two of them fight." Then she raised her voice, "I think Hermione is right. If I liked a guy, I wouldn't tell any of my brothers. They'd probably want to beat him to a bloody pulp."

Ron glared at her. "Well, I don't want you dating anybody. Behind my back or not. You're too young. Much too young."

"Ron, I'm fifteen. If I want to date, I'm going to date. And I'll probably be dating before you. I might have to make sure you get a girlfriend just so that I can keep you out of my business."

Ron gritted his teeth. "Harry, remind me to kill Dean when we get back to school."

"Or better yet, give him untested Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes products," suggested Harry.

"Why would you guys want to do anything to Dean?" asked Ginny.

"On the train you said--"

Ginny gave a snort of laughter. "That was a joke. I picked a name at random. Geeze, the one time you actually listen and remember..."

"I still wish I knew who Charlie was dating," Ron said, changing the subject.

"He said that it was someone your mum knew and would approve of," offered Neville.

"How did you find that out?" asked Ron.

Neville shrugged. "I got up early and had breakfast with your older brothers before they went to work. Charlie got into a brawl with Fred and George upstairs. He got his letter back."

"Where is Charlie anyway?" asked Ginny.

"I don't know. He said he didn't have to be at work until eleven. Maybe he went back to sleep. He was mad about being woken up early."

Mrs. Weasley came back into the room.

"Did you send the letter, Mum?" asked Ginny.

"I ran into Charlie on the stairs and he didn't have anything to do, so he said he'd take it over for me."

"That was nice of him. We'll be able to get a response faster that way than waiting for an owl to come back," said Hermione.

"Why don't all of us go upstairs and get dressed and then we can be ready when Charlie gets back with Tonks's answer?"

"Good idea."

As the five of them went up the stairs, Neville asked, "What sort of a name is Tonks?"