The REAL Reason Lucius Malfoy Joined the Death Eaters

Lucius Malfoy did not whine. A few months past his twentieth birthday, he discovered that it didn't do any good anyway. His wife, Narcissa, and her sisters Bellatrix and Andromeda, decided that in order to keep in touch, they would have a get together every year. Normally, Lucius would be happy to let his new bride get out of the manor, relax, do all the things that he did on a regular occasion with his friends, but there was a very small problem. That problem's name was Nymphadora Tonks. Being the favorite uncle (though why, he couldn't fathom this), Nymphadora (or 'Tonks' as she preferred) wanted to stay with him while her mother went away. He tried all the usual things to get out of babysitting: blackmail, bribery, corruption. All to no avail. So, one sunny Saturday afternoon he found himself with a messy three-year-old wrapped around his leg, a large bag of toys, games and food for said toddler, and an overwhelming sense of dread as he waved good-bye to his wife and sisters-in-law.

"Unca Lushus," the little girl said demandingly, tugging at his trousers.

Lucius stooped down onto one knee, looking her in the eye. "Yes, Tonks?" He wanted to protest the strawberry jam prints that were on his trousers, but knew it would do absolutely no good.

"Unca Lushus, I have to go to the bafroom!" She looked at him seriously. "Bad," she added, in case he underestimated the seriousness of the situation.

Wrinkling his nose, he stood up again. He took her hand, leaving the bag of toys and other things for the house-elves to get. "Well, come on then." Lucius rolled his eyes, but led the half-skipping, half-potty dancing girl to the nearest bathroom and opened the door for her.

"Unca Lushus," she said, yanking on his hand.

"Yes, Tonks?" he asked again, already feeling a headache forming.

"Can't get my oberalls off awone!"

Cursing the girl's stupid mother, Lucius bent down again and unhooked the clasps on the meddlesome clothing, hopefully making it easy enough for her to manage the rest on her own. She happily skipped into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. "Don't lock the-" Too late, he heard the click of the lock and sighed, patting his pockets for his wand, wondering where he'd left it.

Lucius stood outside the bathroom, praying that everything was proceeding apace. After a few minutes had passed, he began to feel concerned. After ten, he called, "Are you all right, Tonks?"

"Can't get down!" a very frustrated voice said.

Lucius swore under his breath, and murmured, "Alohomora," opening up the bathroom door to a scene of mayhem. Tonks was standing in the sink, which was overflowing; the walls were covered with soap; her overalls were hanging (Merlin knew how) from a hook on the ceiling, and she was tossing the toilet paper roll at them repeatedly in an attempt to get them down, thus festooning the room with tissue. She looked at him darkly. "Can't get down," she repeated.

Heaving a tremendous sigh, he picked her up and placed her on the floor, dressed in only her light blue t-shirt and knickers. "Don't go anywhere," he said, using his wand to spell down her overalls. He turned, intent on getting the rest of her clothing back onto her, only to discover that she was gone. "Tonks!!" This was not good.

Malfoy Manor contained over one hundred and forty rooms, several dozen staircases and secret passageways that were able to move around and transform at will. Lucius was sure he checked most of the rooms, traversed at least half the staircases and gotten lost in about five passageways before he really started to panic. "Tonks... Merlin, your mother's going to kill me." He decided to return to the entrance hall, overalls still in hand, and he stopped, seeing the (seemingly innocent) toddler playing quietly with one of her toys she'd taken out of the bag.

Lucius sighed, picked her up, and sat down on the main staircase with Tonks in his lap. "Tonks," he said, trying to keep his voice patient, "that was very naughty going away without telling me. You frightened me very much. Please don't do that again. Do you understand?" His voice almost cracked with desperation on the last words.

Tonks looked up at him, a charming smile on her face. "I love you, Unca Lushus!" She wrapped her arms around his neck, and kissed his cheek heartily.

Lucius sighed again and hugged her back. "Now let's get your clothes back on." This was not received so well. Lucius was valiantly trying to force the overalls onto her kicking little legs, but it was like trying to put a cat in a dress.

A bruise on his right shoulder, scratch-marks on his arms, and a threat to tell her mother finally settled Tonks down enough to get her back in her overalls. He smoothed her hair, which suddenly turned a bright green and he glared at her until it changed back to its normal brown. "Are you hungry?"

Tonks nodded emphatically. "Yes!" She skipped off down the hallway, Lucius following quickly.

They took the far staircase down to the kitchens, where Lucius instructed several house-elves to bring them some lunch, telling a few more about the mess in the bathroom. He used the time it took her to eat her sandwich and crackers to spell away the mess from his clothing, tie back his hair, and wince at the scratch-marks on his arms. They would require cleaning before healing, but there would be no way he would let Tonks out of his sight again.

When Tonks had finished, Lucius looked down at her. She was somehow covered in strawberry jam again, looking like a Grindelwald survivor, even though he was fairly certain there were no preserves on the table. Well, there was no way he was getting that mess on his trousers again. "Scourgify Forte!" he said, leaving the toddler roughly cleansed from head to toe.

She looked at him, and started to cry loudly, wailing until the house-elves cowered and covered their ears. "Owie!" she screamed.

Gritting his teeth, Lucius decided that that probably hadn't been the best way to clean an overactive little girl. He pulled her into his lap and rocked her gently until she calmed down, a thumb going to her mouth. He was certain she had been falling asleep, but one of the elves dropped a large dish platter and Tonks was up again, running off up the stairs. Sighing once more, Lucius followed. "Tonks! Wait!" When he reached her (trying to get into his father's study), he knelt down. "How about we go to the park?" It would be easier to keep an eye on her somewhere outside the manor. Or at least a place that didn't have so many hiding spots.

Tonks nodded enthusiastically, and suffered herself to be picked up and carried out of the house. Lucius took them quickly to a small park near Malfoy Manor, and put her down, sitting down on a bench while she happily ran off to join some other children on a swing set. Quickly, he cast a boundary spell, so that she couldn't leave the area. Deciding Tonks would be all right for a little while, Lucius allowed his mind to wander. It really was quite a perfect day, late spring, with a bit of summer warmth. He watched the pollen fall from a tree for a time, then looked over at the swing set to make sure Tonks was still all right. To his horror, she seemed to have disappeared. He scanned the area, but she was nowhere to be seen.

'Okay, Lucius,' he thought quickly, standing up, 'don't panic. She can't have left the area.' The sun was low in the sky, most of the mothers, ('Mothers,' he thought, 'not uncles.') Were leaving the area. Gritting his teeth, not wanting to let them know that he had almost certainly lost his niece, he strode over to the swings, casting a menacing glare the the kids that were on it. They fled, looks of terror on their faces. 'Definitely not Tonks,' he decided, looking back over the playground. Something caught his eye. Closer to the sandbox ('Of course, the messiest thing on the playground') a group of children had gathered, seemingly interested in a little... boy? He stalked over, sending half the brats running. The boy looked up at Lucius, grinned, then transformed back into Tonks.

Tonks looked up at him innocently and smiled. "You didn' know who I was," she said, proudly.

Lucius sighed and closed his eyes, then opened them again quickly. "No, Tonks, I didn't. You shouldn't do that." He thought for a moment, then picked her up and lugged her over to the park bench, sitting her down and leaning over to address her seriously. "All right, Tonks, we need to get something straight, NOW. I want you to promise not to run away, hide, or change your appearance in order to confuse me. If you do, I'll hand you over to my old nanny and let her feed you cod liver oil, understand?" He tried to look as imposing as possible, something that wasn't usually terribly difficult for him. He doubted he'd really carry out the threat, but it wouldn't hurt to have her believe it.

Tonks' eyes widened. She hadn't the faintest idea what cod liver oil was, but she knew she didn't like cod and she didn't like liver, and being fed her two least favorite things would certainly be yucky. "Yes, Unca Lushus," she said, wrapping her tiny arms around him.

Lucius was about to sigh, but stopped himself. He'd been doing that far too much already this day. He picked her up easily and carried her home, happy when she fell asleep. Unfortunately, she was still wrapped quite tightly around him and he had no desire to wake her up. Deciding that a nap was in order for the both of them, he carried her up the stairs to his and Narcissa's room, stretching out on the large couch near the fire. A simple summoning charm allowed him a book for light reading before he, too, dozed off, Tonks snuggling into his chest.

*****

Tonks awoke not half an hour after Lucius had fallen asleep, ready and raring to go. Very carefully, she slipped down, and toddled over to the fire. She had seen her mother and father travel through the fireplace. Her mother had said it could take you anywhere you wanted to go as long as it was connected to some kind of network. Looking around, Tonks saw a small jar of floo powder on a nearby table. Picking it up (and knocking it over in the process), she managed to get a chubby fistful of powder, and tossed it onto the flames, which turned green. "Honeydukes!" she whispered, not wanting to wake her uncle, stepping into the fireplace.

The candy shop was just as Tonks remembered it. After she picked herself up and brushed away some of the ash on her overalls, she looked around. There were an awful lot of people milling about and she was able to get lost quite easily, dodging in and out of their legs. She climbed up a barrel of Every Flavor Beans, picking up one and putting it in her mouth. "Yuck!" she cried, spitting it back in the barrel. She rooted around, looking for her favorite, cherry, but two strong hands came around her waist, pulling her away. She panicked, wondering if her uncle had found her. But the voice that spoke definitely didn't belong to him.

"Well, now, little one. Where is your mother?" Albus Dumbledore picked out a handful of beans and put them in a pouch. He handed her a cherry one, to which she squealed happily and popped it in her mouth.

"Mummy's gone," Tonks said calmly, with the maddening dearth of information common to small children.

Dumbledore didn't seem frustrated, though. "Where did she go? Are you with your daddy?"

Tonks giggled and shook her head, accepting another bean. "Mummy said she needed to rest. She lef' me with Unca Lushus. But he was asleep." Tonks thought for a moment, then said, "Unca Lushus has hair like this." Scrunching up her nose, she changed her hair to a sweep of platinum. "It tickles when he hugs me," she added thoughtfully.

There was only one person with hair like that, Dumbledore decided as he brushed back her new locks. "Well, why don't we go back to my office and send an owl to your 'Unca Lushus.'"

Tonks shook her head. "He's gonna be MAD at me."

Dumbledore laughed. "I'll make sure he won't be." He picked out a few more sweets, some at Tonks' insistence, paid for them, and led her out into Hogsmeade, holding her by one sticky hand. The other contained a lollypop which she was licking with enthusiasm, skipping happily as they started toward the school.

*****

Lucius woke up slowly, but his return to consciousness was rudely quickened when he realized that, once again, Tonks was gone. He sat up and looked around futilely, eyes falling on the spilt floo powder. "Oh no. No. No. Oh damn." He stood, though not knowing what he was going to do exactly, when an owl swooped into the open window and dropped a letter at his feet.

Lucius picked up the neatly folded parchment, and began to read. "Dear Lucius, I believe you are the 'Unca Lushus" mentioned by the small girl I found rootling around in the Bertie Botts barrel at Honeydukes. Rest assured, she is quite safe; I have removed her to my office, and will be happy to look after her until it is convenient for you to retrieve her. Sincerely, Albus Dumbledore" Lucius shook his head. He had thought Tonks was an ordinary child, but clearly she had some kind of powerful dark magic within her to be able to cause so much trouble. He found his reserve of floo powder and tossed a handful onto the flames. "Albus Dumbledore's Office!" he shouted.

Once through the flames, he heard the tell-tale, "Unca Lushus!" from his niece. Brushing off his clothing, he turned... and gaped. Tonks was sitting quite happily on Dumbledore's lap, eating a piece of sweet (some of which, Lucius noted, was stuck in Dumbledore's beard) and looking like everything in the world was fine. She waved at him and, dumbfounded, he waved back.

Dumbledore gestured to a seat. "Do sit," he said. "Have a cup of tea." He conjured a teacup and, still stunned, Lucius took it.

"How...?" he managed.

Dumbledore beamed. "She seems to be a very bright little girl, and took advantage of your momentary...repose to get to Honeydukes through the floo. We've just been comparing favorite sweets. Toffee?" he asked, holding out a small sack to Lucius.

"No...No, thank you, Headmaster," Lucius said, struggling to comprehend. He took a swallow of his tea and recovered slightly. "I do hope she hadn't given you too much trouble." Though really, it was surprising how easily Dumbledore seemed to be managing her. Perhaps she was settling down, and he could bathe her and put her to bed when they got home. A secured bed, he added mentally, with covers charmed to keep her from getting out. Perhaps he should consult Professor Flitwick before he left.

"No trouble at all," Dumbledore said cheerily. He looked down, picked a few bits of candy from his beard and placed them on a discarded candy wrapper.

Tonks beamed and took up her lollypop again. She slid off Dumbledore's lap and toddled over to Lucius, offering him some of the sweet. "Here, Unca Lushus. It's cherry," she added, as if that made all the difference in the world.

Under Dumbledore's gaze, he leaned over and took a lick. 'Not bad. Wait!' "We've got to get you home and bathed, young lady," he said, suddenly stern again. "Your mother's going to be home in a few hours."

Tonks' eyes were wide again. "Oh. Okay." She hurried back over to Dumbledore, who leaned down to hug her, succeeding in getting even more candy on him. "We'll see you soon, Tonks," Dumbledore said. He winked at Lucius, who stood, thanked the Headmaster, picked Tonks up under one arm, and floo'd back to the manor.

Lucius was feeling very grim indeed as he put a sticky, dusty Tonks down on the hearthrug and knelt down to look at her. "Tonks, I'm very disappointed in you. You promised me you wouldn't run away again." He thought about the situation for a moment. "But if you don't tell anyone, then I won't tell your mother how bad you were, agreed?" He raised an eyebrow, waiting for her response.

Tonks nodded, the threat of cod liver oil resurfacing. She took his hand, missing the grimace as her sticky fingers wrapped around his. Lucius was at his wit's end. "Bath?" he asked.

"YAY!!" And she took off again.

'Never again,' he decided as he ran after her. 'I'm never babysitting again. Never, ever. Not ever. No way.' He reached the bathroom, relieved to see house-elves filling the tub and setting out pyjamas for her.

Lucius thought about just leaving the house-elves to deal with everything, but had a strong feeling that something bad would happen, like one of his servants being drowned. He picked Tonks up and began stripping off her clothes, several of which seemed to be entirely stuck to her body. Finally, he got them off, and plopped her down in the tub, sitting down on the edge. 'Please, Merlin, let her know how to bathe herself.' This hope was quashed as the little girl stared at him expectantly. Sighing, he picked up a sponge, and began scrubbing the child haphazardly, aiming mostly for the areas covered with a reddish-gray substance that he identified as cherry lollipop overlaid with ash. It was surprisingly difficult to get off, and he had to have one of the house-elves fetch him a special soap, ordinarily used for scrubbing burnt kettle bottoms.

After she was clean ("Ow! Soap in eyes, Unca Lushus!!"), dried ("Towel tickles!!") and dressed ("Shirt scratchy!"... dressed in a shirt of his own), he carried her to bed. "Story!" she insisted, snuggling up with one of the many stuffed animals Andromeda had packed. Keeping an eye on her as he pulled out the storybooks from her bag, Lucius read through all the titles before Tonks was satisfied, picking the first one. He sat next to her, sneering slightly at the Muggle book, but resigned to the fact that, if he wanted to get her to sleep, he would have to read it. "There once were three little pigs," he read, almost laughing at the absurdity of it. Talking pigs.

Lucius was forced to read the ridiculous story four times over, the third time changing it so that the wolf, for whom he felt some sympathy, devoured the three little pigs whole at the end. Finally, in the middle of the fourth retelling, he noticed that Tonks was asleep. Well, she looked asleep. And it was anybody's guess how long she would stay that way. Lucius retreated to an armchair, wand at the ready, gazing around nervously as he waited for his wife to come home.

He didn't dare fall asleep, and, through the use of several cups of heavily sugared tea, managed to stay awake two more hours, dozing lightly as Narcissa came upstairs with her sisters. He shushed them instantly, not wanting Tonks to wake up. Bellatrix smirked at him and returned downstairs. He shivered slightly. She always managed to unhinge him slightly. Something in her eyes... Andromeda smiled, kissing him gently on the cheek and handing him a small present. "What's this for?" he asked, covering a yawn.

"For taking care of Tonks today. I know she can be a handful, but she insists on having you look after her. It's not much. Narcissa said you'd like it."

Lucius raised an eyebrow and set the present down on an end table. Without hesitation, he packed Tonks' bag, assured Andromeda that yes, it was okay that Tonks keep his shirt, and said good bye. He undressed, intent on a nice, long sleep, as Narcissa saw her sisters out.

Lucius was nearly asleep when he felt a warm body slid into bed next to him. He jumped, and grabbed his wand. "What did she do?" he demanded blearily.

Narcissa laughed and took away his wand, pulling him close. "Oh, Lucius, was it that bad?"

"You have no idea," he said darkly, before falling asleep in her arms.

FIN