The Curse of the Giggling Goblin

Minerva McGonagall and Albus Dumbledore strolled through the corridor on the fourth floor. For the moment the halls were quiet, as all the students were in classes, and the two professors were enjoying their little bit of peace and quiet.

"You know, Minerva, every time I take a walk through this castle I see something new. It's really quite a fascinating place," Dumbledore said, popping a sherbet lemon into his mouth.

"Indeed, Albus. It's always worth it to stop and look around," she replied, then pointed to a statue on Dumbledore's right. "Has that always been there? How peculiar."

Dumbledore scratched his chin, surveying the marble statue of a giggling goblin. "I don't believe I've ever noticed this one...strange, isn't it? If I ever see a real goblin giggle, I daresay I'll eat my hat." He leaned against the statue's base, and to his surprise a small square of the marble popped out onto the floor, leaving a small, dark hole.

The headmaster peered into the hole. "I don't see anything...wait a moment. Lumos," he mumbled, poking his wand into the hole. "There's a round button on the stone, I wonder what it's for?"

"Probably some sort of booby trap, Albus. I wouldn't touch it if I were you."

"Oh, pooh. What harm could it do?" Dumbledore laughed, then poked the button with the tip of his wand. To his surprise, it sneezed and spit a piece of parchment at him. He heard Minerva gasp, and stood up. "It's fine, just a little note." He rubbed his throat, thinking how odd his voice sounded, and noticed his beard was gone. He turned to Minerva, and jumped in surprise. "Merlin's beard, Minerva! You're...young again!"

"So are you!" the teenage McGonagall gasped in shock. Her hair was no longer flecked with grey, and the lines in her face had disappeared.

Dumbledore looked down at his unwrinkled hands in amazement. "How bizarre...perhaps this note explains it." He unrolled the parchment, hearing a sudden commotion from the floors below. The parchment read:

Congrats and salutations,

You've unleashed a little spell

That will change your life forever

But do not fret, for all is well

This charm is just a simple test

To put you in their shoes

To teach the teachers how it feels

Being young and quite confused

For your chance to set things right

This spell will last one week

Get in touch with your young pupils

From the bratty to the meek.

"So we're stuck like this for a week? Albus, we have to do something!" Minerva shrieked in a sudden panic.

"Calm yourself, Minerva, I'll think of something. I've got to get back to my office..." He hurried off, Minerva chasing after him.

As they turned the corner after coming down the staircase, they were met by an angry mob of teenagers. "What is the meaning of this?" a tiny young man squeaked furiously.

"I demand to know what is going on!" shouted a gangly youth with greasy black hair.

Dumbledore stared at the professors, feeling as if someone had dropped a brick into his stomach. "Please, everyone, this is nothing to be alarmed about. This spell will only last for one week, then everything will return to normal. I have considered the options, and there is nothing we can do to reverse the spell."

"But how did it happen?" the teenage Lupin asked incredulously. "We can't teach like this!"

"I'm aware of that, Remus. The spell was accidentally triggered by a statue on the fourth floor. I take full responsibility for this incident, so if you'll excuse me I'm going to sit down and come up with a plan."

"Well, what in blazes are we supposed to do while you're racking your brain for ideas, Albus?" Snape ranted, beginning to sound somewhat insane. Dumbledore knew that Snape hated to look stupid in public, and figured that by now he was contemplating murder.

Albus scratched his hairless chin again. "For now, perhaps, why don't you all go back to your respective houses and explain to the students what has happened. Classes will be cancelled for the remainder of the day, and I will inform you when I think of a solution."

The teachers dispersed, grumbling to themselves. Dumbledore entered his office, and immediately threw some Floo powder into the fireplace.

* * *

"It was so weird, he was just standing at the front of the class when 'poof' he turned into a teenager!" Ron laughed. "Snape looked really surprised, he just ran off like someone had made his clothes vanish or something."

"Yeah, he didn't exactly take it well, did he? I wonder if the other teachers went as mental as he did," Harry snickered as Ginny joined them.

"Professor Lupin handled it pretty well," she told them, "until he couldn't get his wand to work."

The door to the common room opened, and two people stepped through. The girl had dark hair pulled back into a tight bun, and the boy had brown hair and tired-looking eyes, wearing a suit that seemed too big for him.

"Professors! What happened? Is it some sort of curse?" Hermione gasped.

Lupin shook his head. "No, Dumbledore accidentally set off some sort of spell."

McGonagall pursed her lips. "Indeed, and Albus is the only one who finds it amusing. We'll be staying here until he sorts everything out, but I can assure you, Miss Granger, everything is under control," she explained, a trace of uncertainty in her voice.

"All professors, report to my office immediately. Thank you," a young man's voice called.

"Is that Dumbledore?" Ron asked incredulously. Lupin and McGonagall nodded, hurrying off.

The common room buzzed with whispers and giggles as the students waited for more news. Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, McGonagall and Lupin stepped through the portrait-hole again, followed by a tall young man with long auburn hair and half-moon spectacles. He had a trace of a smirk on his face, which he was trying to hide from Minerva. She was looking livid, gritting her teeth.

The young Dumbledore cleared his throat. "I have called every capable witch and wizard to temporarily assume teaching duties for the week. Your regular professors, who are currently incapacitated, will be staying in the dormitories and attending classes with you, so please give them a warm welcome and make them feel at home. This is quite difficult for all of us, as our magical powers have been reduced to that of sixteen-year-olds. However, we will make every effort to keep things running smoothly this week." He smiled and left the common room, leaving Lupin and McGonagall surrounded by curious students. Harry and his friends looked absolutely delighted to have Remus in their dormitory, while Minerva was being whisked away by Lavender and Parvati to the girls' dorm.

Meanwhile, down in the Slytherin common room, Snape and Sinistra were caught in a flurry of students, all as excited as the Gryffindors. Professor Sinistra went off with a large group, ignoring Snape as usual, while Snape eyed the exits. He was beside himself with frustration as Draco Malfoy and his goons followed him like talking shadows, planning all the ways they could pick on the Gryffindors now that Snape was attending classes with them. Severus, on the other hand, had no interest in gadding about with the students, and wanted nothing more than to be alone.

Severus backed out of the common room, escaping the noise. He wandered into the nearest bathroom, where he stared at himself in the mirror. To his horror, there was a large pimple on his sizable nose, and his hair was greasier than usual. His teenage years had been the worst, and now he was being forced to relive them. On top of all the teen angst that was suddenly coming back to him, he winced at the thought of someone else teaching Potions. What sort of dunderhead had Dumbledore put in his place?

He thought of Sinistra, thankful that the attention of the Slytherins had shifted to her. The two of them had never gotten along well, since Severus felt she was far too cheerful and friendly to be a proper Slytherin. As long as she stayed with the students, he would be able to avoid them.

As he stared at himself in the mirror, he grew more upset at his gangly, greasy appearance. He prided himself in looking menacing and intimidating, but as a sixteen-year-old there was nothing scary about him.

Back in the Gryffindor girls' dormitory, Minerva sighed as she sat down on her bed. She was trying to make the best of the situation, but was finding it to be increasingly difficult. She could no longer transform into her tabby-cat alter ego, and her transfiguration attempts had not gone well. Being sixteen again was more unpleasant than she had remembered, and she wondered how the students managed to cope with the horrors of their teenage years.

She squinted at the book she had started reading, wondering why everything was blurry. She took off her glasses to inspect them for smudges, and found that she saw better without them. Of course, she thought, I didn't need glasses until I turned thirty!

She heard footsteps, and looked up to see Hermione Granger. "Professor, it's nearly dinnertime, are you coming? You're welcome to sit with us if you like."

"Thank you, Hermione. Please, call me Minerva for now, as I am currently not your professor," she sighed, putting down her book and following Hermione to the Great Hall.

Lupin was sitting with Ron and Harry, telling them excitedly about his adventures with Sirius and James when he was sixteen. Minerva rolled her eyes, noticing the mischievous glint in Lupin's eyes that had been so prominent during his school days. He seemed to be the only professor that was pleased about the situation, as Minerva glanced around at the other tables. Flitwick and Vector were looking frustrated, Sprout was muttering to herself, and Severus Snape looked mutinously at Dumbledore, who was laughing with the group of adults at the head table.

Dumbledore cleared his throat. "Before we eat, I'd like to introduce our temporary faculty." The hall fell silent; even at sixteen Dumbledore could command respect from his audience. "For Muggle Studies, Arthur Weasley," he began, motioning to Ron and Ginny's father who stood up and waved. "Defense Against the Dark Arts, Mad-Eye Moody, who you will no doubt recognize. Transfiguration, Nymphadora Tonks." Minerva's eyes popped out of her head at the thought of clumsy Tonks teaching her class. "Potions, co-taught by Fred and George Weasley."

The look on Snape's face was indescribable, as if he wasn't sure whether to murder someone or go completely mad on the spot. He buried his face in his hands as Dumbledore continued. "Astronomy, Kingsley Shacklebolt. Charms, Hestia Jones. And finally, for Divination, our former professor Sybil Trelawney has returned. Please give them all a warm welcome."

The halls erupted in applause and cheers, save for the normal professors who clapped politely but below the surface seethed with irritation. Food appeared on the tables, and everyone hungrily piled food on their plates. Dumbledore watched the crowd, wondering what sort of chaos the week would bring.