The Distraction

Voldemort came to Malfoy Manor almost every night after his first visit. There were a few times when he didn't show up, and I prayed to gods I had long stopped believing in that he had grown tired of me, perhaps moved on to someone else. Then I would feel guilty; could I wish that fate on my worst enemy? But really, Voldemort was my worst enemy, so where to go from there?

He would always show up the next night though, sarcastically apologizing for his absence and explaining that he had been away on 'business'. I knew I should have asked him what sort of business, dug deeper and spilt my guts to the Order, but he probably wouldn't have told me at that point anyway. Besides, just imagining the details of what he did during his absences from my bed made my stomach turn.

That's when I started to get rather fidgety. I began to notice that my stomach protested at the smell of certain foods, especially breakfast foods. I tried to write it off as stress, as I did my missing periods. I checked the calender in my bathroom. The day was November 14th. I had already missed one cycle, and one should have begun the day before.

A range of possibilities flew through my mind. Stress, poor diet, disease. I ruled out the last one, hoping one of the first two would pan out. But as I went downstairs to join Narcissa for breakfast, my stomach did the now familiar flip-flop when the aroma of eggs Benedict floated out from the parlor.

I sat down across from her at the table and turned my face away from the food. I heard a chair scrape against the floor and felt a light hand on my shoulder. "Here, dear," Narcissa said softly. "Drink this. It will help settle you."

I opened my eyes and looked up at her. She was holding out a steaming mug that smelled faintly of mint. She kept her hand on my shoulder, as if to steady me, so I took the tea and tentatively sipped it. She nodded, concern written on her delicate features. "There now, drink up."

I did, and smiled at her gratefully as my nausea receeded. Narcissa moved back to her chair and vanished the food with a wave of her wand.

"Thank you," I said, putting the mug down. "The tea helps, but I don't know if I can handle food just yet."

The woman in front of me took a deep breath and said, "You really should go to St. Mungo's, dear. I know it's none of my business, but this house isn't sound proof." Her eyes locked on to mine, waiting for my reaction.

My face flushed. Of course she knew about Voldemort. How could she not? He was in her house almost every night. Then there's the fact that it didn't take a genius or a very active imagination to figure out what we were up to. He went out of his way to make it quite obvious, in my opionion. But she had heard us! Or rather, she had heard me, screaming and crying and begging for release. "I know," I murmured, looking down at the table. "If I would have known... I wouldn't have come here," I lied.

Narcissa lay a hand over mine and stilled my nervous plucking at the table cloth. "It's alright. Sometimes... sometimes things must be done that would be easier left alone. You're making a great sacrafice."

My head snapped up and I looked at her through thinly veiled curiosity. Did she know about the Order of the Phoenix? Or was she simply commenting on behalf of the position of the dark community? "You're right," I said quickly, to excuse my odd expression, "about St. Mungo's, I mean. I was thinking of going into Diagon Alley to do some shopping anyway. Might as well drop in for a, ah, check-up."

* * * * *

It was the first time I had ever been to St. Mungo's, and I decided that I would try my best to make it the last. I was not fond of large crowds to begin with, but every time a witch or wizard accidentally brushed against me, I cringed.

I finally managed to push my way through to the reception desk and waited impatiently for the woman to look up and notice me. I was lightly drumming my fingers on the counter, growing more and more irritated when I was shoved roughly aside by a young wizard who had a wand jammed in his ear.

"Excuse me," he said, catching me before I fell. "Emergency, you know." I nodded, staring at the wand protruding from his head.

"Oi! You there!" he yelled banging on the counter to get the witch's attention.

She looked up and shook her head. "What happened?" she asked in a bored voice.

"A Disarming charm gone very wrong," the man answered grimly.

"Indeed," the receptionist said, quirking an eyebrow. "Spell Damage, fourth floor."

"Thank you!" he cried, then turned to me. "Sorry about that. Your turn," he said, then disappeared through the swinging doors at the end of the waiting room.

My gaze followed him. I wished I could have been there to see that wand go flying into his ear. I was in desperate need of good entertainment.

"What do you need?" the witch behind the counter asked impatiently. I turned back to her and frowned at the directory. Where should I go? I briefly considered the Creature-Induced Injuries Ward, as a sick joke of sorts, but decided against it.

"Ahh... I need a, uh, well," I leaned down so my face was only a few inches from hers. "I need a pregnancy test, actually."

"Oh, I see," the witch said, raising her eyebrows at me. Her chair glided over to a white filing cabinet and she rummaged through the draws, finally extracting a thin sheaf of parchment.

"Name?" she asked, whipping out a quill.

"Tamerlane Jacek."

"Age?"

"Twenty."

"Hmm... that's rather young. Birth date?"

I frowned at the top her her bent head before answering. Shit, my day was looking bad enough already. I didn't go there to be judged by a snotty hospital receptionist. "December fifteenth, ninteen seventy-six."

"Date of your last menstral cycle?"

"Er... mid September. Not sure of the actual date."

"Alrighty, someone will be with you shortly. Just take these forms and go wait over there," she said, smiling at me and handing me the parchment.

"Thanks," I said, and went to wait.

* * * * *

I stormed through the streets of London, knocking innocent passersby out of my way. Not normal behavior for me, but I honestly didn't care. Even if I had happened to knock some Muggle off Big Ben, he or she wouldn't have been as angry or hurt as I was right then.

I reached the shabby street of Grimmauld Place and thought of the directions Albus had given me after I joined the Order. I ran my hands through my hair as I waited for number twelve to appear. Gods, how was I going to break this to them?

I ran up the stone steps and rang the doorbell. A minute later, I heard the cluster of locks clicking and Remus Lupin opened the door. "What are you doing here?" he asked, surprised. He stepped back and let me enter.

"WHORE! TRAITOR! SPY! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, YOU FILTH!" the portrait of Mrs. Black shouted. On my rare visits to Headquarters, I'd laugh at the irate painting until someone shut the curtains, but today was not one of those days.

"Shove off, you insane old woman!" I yelled, dashing to the portrait. I wrenched the hangings shut and turned around to face Lupin. "I need to speak with Albus. And Snape too, probably."

"Why? What is it?" he asked, staring wide eyed at my pale, sticken face. "What's happened?"

"I only want to say it once. Just get them here as soon as possible. I need a drink!"

With that I turned on my heal and stalked off down to the basement kitchens. Bill Weasley and Nymphadora Tonks glanced up from their places at the table as I barged through the door.

"Tam! What are you doing here?" Bill asked, frowning at me.

"He hasn't found you out, has he?" Tonks asked, starting to get up from her seat.

I snorted and ducked into the pantry. I decided against hard liquor, since I wasn't really a drinker anyway, and pulled a bottle of Butterbeer from the shelf. "Not bloody likely, after today," I said, joining them at the table.

They were about to start throwing questions at me when Lupin entered the room. "Floo them now, please.... Come to think of it, you may want to add McGonagall to the list." I added after taking a swig of my drink.

He nodded, brow furrowed, and walked over to the fireplace.

"C'mon! What is it? You're killing me here, ya know," Tonks said, moving to take the chair next to mine.

I just shook my head and waited.

Lupin sat down on the other side of me. "I talked to Dumbledore. He's on his way to collect Severus and Minerva. They'll be here as soon as possible," he said, placing a hand on mine.

I nodded and went back to my Butterbeer, trying to script just exactly how I was going to break this news. It was all my fucking fault, after all. This whole thing had been my idea. Everyone would be horrified, of course, but nowhere near to the point I was. And I could just imagine Severus's reaction. Gods, was I in for it.

I drifted off into self-pitying thoughts, so aborbed that I didn't even notice when the fire burned green and three figures stepped out, brushing soot from their robes.

"Miss Jacek?" Albus prompted. My head snapped up, realizing that he was sitting across the table from me. "Is everything alright?"

"Depends on what your definition of 'alright' is," I answered, looking everywhere but at the people around me.

"Did you pull us away from classes for some flippant riddle?" Severus growled.

"No, I didn't," I shot back, gazing down at his hands. "I'm just not sure where to start."

"Just come out with it, girl!" he snapped. I flinched involuntarily. There was only one person who called me 'girl', and I didn't wish to be reminded of him at that moment.

"Fine! Is that what you want?" I snarled, my temper flaring. I stood up, causing my chair to go crashing to the floor. "Alright then. I'm pregnant! There! How's that? Flippant enough for you?"

The six members of the Order that were gathered in the kitchen stared at me with open mouths. Whatever they were expecting me to say, it hadn't been that. It was the first time I had ever seen Albus shocked, and that unnerved me. Nothing, and I mean nothing, gets past that man, but this had.

"Oh no!" McGonagall gasped. "Are you quite sure?"

"Yes," I sighed, summoning my chair upright with a flick of my wand. "I've just come from St. Mungo's." I sat back down and rested my head in my hands.

"That is impossible!" Severus shouted, banging his fist down on the table, his face livid. "Did you drink the contaceptive potion that I gave you?"

"Yes!" I spat, glaring at him, furious at his accusatory tone. "You were in the room with me when I did!"

The color that had started to rise to Severus's cheeks drained away. "There's only one explanation for it," he murmured to himself.

"Well?" I hissed. "Would you like to let me in on your explanation? I'm the one that this affects the most, you know!"

Severus shook his head to clear it and gazed at me with glossed over eyes. "Did you drink anything... that night?" he asked. I was frightened by the hollowness of his stare.

"Just tea and the fake Veritaserum you made. Why?"

"Hmmm... You would have tasted it, then," he mumbled, rubbing his temples in a slow, circular motion. "Did the tea taste odd to you?"

"No," I answered, frowning at him. "Tasted like your average cup of Earl Grey to me."

"Did you eat anything?" he persisted.

"No. I don't really think I could have."

"Then I don't understand. That potion was flawless," he muttered to himself, shaking his head. "I just don't understand...."

"Well, I don't either!" I said. I replayed that night in my mind, from the time I Apparted to Malfoy Manor to the time I cried myself to sleep, trying to find something I missed before. Narcissa, Bellatrix, tea, my room, more Bellatrix, brandy, passing out.... Brandy!

"Wait!" I said. "I did have something else to drink that night. Brandy! Bellatrix talked us into having a night cap, and kept handing me drinks. I wasn't about to let her best me, so I kept drinking, then I passed out. Strange though.... I was only out for an hour or so, and when I woke up, I didn't feel like I had been drinking. Oh, gods! Does alcohol lessen the effects of the contraceptive?"

"No," Severus groaned, "nothing can counteract that contraceptive. Nothing at all. It's the strongest one I could find. So, it would seem that my first theory was correct after all...."

"What theory? What the hell happened?" I cried, wanting to strangle the man for being so vauge.

"Mr. Weasley," Severus said, ignoring me and turning to Bill, "would you please go fetch your mother? Tell her it is of the utmost urgency."

Bill stood and shot a look of pure sympathy at me, then Flooed to the Burrow to collect his mother.

"Damnit, Severus! What the fuck is going on?" I shouted at the man in front of me.

"I'd rather not say until I am absolutely certain."

"Albus?" I said, looking to the old wizard for an explanation. He shook his head, the twinkle in his bright blue eyes gone.