Harry Potter and the Rocky Horror Picture Show

http://www.geocities.com/l0ki_337/A..._Explorers.html
If you wish to review his fic, please pass the reviews to me and I’ll in turn, send them to him, but be nice or I’ll use one of his Attack Wands on you!!!!
*Syvia is dragged, bound and gagged, onto the white space between the chapters of her HP fan fic, by a young woman in a blue toga*
Muse- Okay- now you’re going to stay here until you write something for these nice people who want a completed fic!
Syvia- *shouts through the gag*
Muse- No! I don’t want to hear it! You have a duty to these people, and you’re going to do it. *walks off with her nose in the air*
Syvia- *grumbles softly*


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Chapter 4

The Casting Cap

“So what part are you going to give me?” Magie grinned.

Syvia snapped her fingers in sudden realization. “That’s why I need Ovelia here!” Magie looked at her, confused, as the Barn owl swooped down to land on Syvia’s arm. “You wouldn’t happen to have some parchment on you, would you?” she asked the other girl.

There was a loud pop behind them and Dobby rushed forward. “Here is your bag, Miss Syvia! Dobby is sorry he is taking so long,” the house elf squeaked, bowing.

“Long?” Syvia asked bemusedly. “You came right when you were needed. Who could ask for better timing?” Syvia knelt down and began fumbling, one-handed with the bag’s ties.

Magie grinned down at Dobby. “So how’s life in the kitchens?”

“Dobby likes it very much, miss, and if Miss Syvia doesn’t need anything else-” he said, turning to her, “he should really be getting back there.”

“That’s fine,” Syvia said, grinning at him for a moment. “Thanks again.”

“Is no trouble at all!” Dobby bowed and disappeared. Syvia turned back to her bag, but wasn’t getting too far in the opening of it. Magie just looked down, smiling in amusement as Syvia attempted to untie her satchel and keep Ovelia steady at the same time. The authoress noticed her friend’s expression and crooked a finger at Magie.

“What?” the older girl grinned. Syvia grabbed Magie’s hand and pulled the girl’s arm out straight, then put her own next to it, allowing Ovelia to climb delicately onto the alternate perch.

“Thank you,” Syvia said. Magie grinned and scratched Ovelia’s breast feathers. Syvia plopped down in the middle of the hallway and dug out a bit of parchment, a quill and some ink.

Dear Professor Dumbledore,

Might I be able to borrow the school’s Sorting Hat for a bit? I have a job that I believe will interest it.

Respectfully,

Syvia

She rolled the note quickly and tied it to Ovelia’s leg. The barn owl launched from Magie’s arm and flew off, down the corridor. Syvia hefted her satchel and the two girls began walking down the hall.

“We’ll go back to the classroom, I’ll introduce you to the students and then we’ll just wait for her to get back with Dumbledore’s answer.”

It was around that time that Loki found the HP group. The young man simply sauntered into the room and shook hands with everyone but Draco, whom he blatantly ignored.

“So, is that Loki as in the Norse God of mischief?” Hermionie asked, intrigued.

“Nah,” the young man responded. “Loki as in the Fallen Angel of Death from Dogma.” The Hogwarts students looked at him blankly. “Dogma,” he said again. “You know, the Kevin Smith movie? Has Jason Lee, Matt Damon and Ben Affleck in it?”

“I’ve heard of those actors, but not that movie,” Harry said apologetically.

“Dogma!” Loki shouted indignantly. “The movie with Alan Rickman in it!” The kids were all staring at him again. Loki’s expression grew incredulous. “Alan Rickman? Tall British actor with black hair, looks vaguely like Snape?”

“There’s a muggle actor who looks like Snape?” Ron asked. “Is that true?” he murmured, looking at Harry and Hermionie. “That poor bloke...” he said smirking.

“Hey, Snape’s not all that bad looking,” Draco cut in. They looked at him.

“There something you’re not telling us, Draco?” Harry asked curiously, exchanging a grin with Ron.

“I don’t actually go to the theater very often, Ron,” Hermionie said, interrupting Draco’s spluttered responses.

“And if you think the Dursleys ever took me to a show, you haven’t been paying attention,” Harry smirked.

“God, you guys are deprived!” Loki said, shaking his head.

“Who are you anyway?” Ginny asked. “Another author?”

“No, I like to think of myself as a sarcastic sidekick with mad connections,” he grinned, winking at her. She giggled, which caused most of the boys at the table to give Loki dirty looks.

“Are you going to be in the musical with us?” she asked, smiling.

His eyes suddenly go wide. “Musical? A musical entails singing!” He looks at Syvia and Magie, who just walked in. “There’s going to be singing in this?! Are you at it again?!” he shouted, pointing his finger at Magie.

“Oh stop being so melodramatic,” Syvia admonished him, rolling her eyes.

“What is he going on about?” Draco asked the authoress.

“Magie here once put a wide-spread hex on us which turned everyday life into a musical.” Syvia and Loki grimaced, remembering. “It wasn’t pretty.”

“Yes it was!” Magie cried in a hurt tone. “I thought everyone sang wonderfully!”

“A wide-spread hex, you say?” Draco said, perking up. “Do you think you could teach it to me?” Magie simply rolled her eyes.

Syvia sighed. “Well, I’m not going to reintroduce Loki, everyone’s met him already- and before anyone asks,” she said, casting a glare at the Slythenin, who had just opened his mouth again,“I’ll say it again- I’m the all-knowing authoress. Of course I know he’s introduced himself to you-” she cleared her throat. “Ladies and Gentlemen, meet Magicalme, also known by many as Magie,” Syvia said, gesturing to the redhead standing beside her. The Hogwarts students stared at her for a few moments.

“You know,” Loki said, looking at Syvia, “they do that a lot.”

“Magicalme?” Neville murmured, eyebrows raised. The three Explorers nodded.

“You-” Ron cleared his throat, his lips twitching. “You’re named after a book by Gilderoy Lockhart?” Magicalme sighed and nodded, then whipped out her wand and cast a Silencing Charm on the young man a second before he burst into gales of laughter.

“I’ve been getting that reaction a lot lately.”

“Oh?” Syvia asked, turning to her.

“Three or four people did the same thing before I met you in the front hall.”

Syvia smiled and rolled her eyes. “Moving right along then, the Sorting Hat should be here in a few minutes to see what parts Magie and Loki will be playing,” she looked at the students speculatively, “and to give me a second opinion on the six of you as well.”

“What?” Neville asked, his voice trembling slightly. “My first go under that hat was bad enough- I don’t fancy putting it on again.”

“You won’t be putting the hat on, I will. If I cast any of you in the wrong roles, the hat can ridicule me for it.”

Draco smirked. “You only want to see what house it would put you in, were you to enroll in Hogwarts.”

“Actually I don’t, but what business would it be of yours if I did?” the authoress asked mildly.

“Oh, even if you don’t, I certainly do!” Magie told her excitedly. “I think it’d be fun.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Well you don’t have to try it on in front of the whole school, now do you?”

“The privileges of not actually being a Hogwarts student,” Loki said, puffing out his chest.

“Magicalme- uh... d’you mind if we call you Magie?” Hermionie asked softly.

“Not at all,” the older girl said, sitting down next to Ginny.

“Great,” the bushy-haired young woman said, taking out her wand. “It may keep Ron from laughing every time we talk to you.” She applied a ‘Finite Incantatem’ to her significant other, restoring his voice as Loki sat down near Neville and Syvia took her place at the head of the table.

“Now what?” Ron asked, having composed himself.

The authoress pulled two scripts from her satchel and passed them to the two newcomers. “Now we wait for-” there was a pop of air and a ragged black hat fell over Syvia’s head. “-the Sorting Hat,” she continued, slightly muffled.

“You got a letter,” Magie said, watching a folded piece of parchment float to the table. Syvia tipped the hat back, regaining her vision, and reached for the note.

Syvia,

Ovelia has flown back to the Owlery, as her part in this chapter is finally at an end. Please bring Dobby or some other convenient distraction into the fic when you no longer have a need for the Sorting Hat.

Enjoy the rest of this chapter,

Albus Dumbeldore

Meanwhile a little voice had begun to speak in her ear.

“Oh good Lord,” said the Hat, “not another Mary Sue, and a twenty-year-old at that! If you’ve put me on just to be sorted- you can forget-”

“Calm down,” she murmured, interrupting the Hat’s diatribe. “I’m not an American transfer student, I haven’t decided to take up magical studies in Hogwarts and I haven’t put you on to be sorted.”

“Oh,” it answered in a slightly mollified tone of voice. “What’s the matter then?” Syvia pulled the Hat gently off her head and set it down on the table. Then she grinned and spoke in a voice loud enough for everyone to hear. “I need you to do some sorting, but I don’t need you to sort me.”

The Hat sighed. “Fine then.” The rip that served as its mouth opened and-

Oh you may not think I’m pretty, but don’t judge on-

Those around the table, with the exception of Ginny, rolled their eyes and sat their chins on their hands in preparation of hearing the familiar song once again. Luckily, Syvia was quick to interrupt.

“No! No, no, no, no, no- that song doesn’t fit with this scenario.”

“I can’t sing the Sorting Song?” it asked, disappointed.

Syvia grimaced. “I’m sorry, but no.”

“Well why on earth not? They didn’t let me sing it during the film!”

“That’s true, Syvie,” Magicalme sighed. “They did cut that part.”

“That’s beside the point-” Syvia responded.

“Film? What film?” Hermionie asked, confused.

“Uh- that’s not really important-” Magie said, waving her hands slightly.

“What’s important is that they cut out my musical number!” the Sorting Hat shouted at them.

“Yes, I know, and it was a crying shame,” Syvia overrode everyone, “but I don’t need the Sorting Hat.”

“You don’t?”

“No. I need the Castingcap.” She smiled and the students’ eyebrows rose as the Hat began to quiver.

“Casting cap?!?” They winced at the shrill pitch of the Hat’s voice. “I haven’t done that bit for ages!” it cried excitedly. “Can I sing the castingsong as well?”

Syvia laughed delightedly. “Go for it,” she grinned.

The Hat cleared its throat importantly and began a stately, somber tune-

A long time ago

students laughed, cried, and played

on the great stage of Hogwarts

fine actors were made

‘Tis true that this fact

not many know

The Founders held skill

that made the stage glow

They loved, very much,

the epic tales of old,

muggles, at the time,

with such acting, didn’t hold-

He carried on for a time, but as the song grew even slower and more mellow, the eyes of the young people began to droop.

“Uh...” Syvia frowned slightly and prodded the hat.

“And- uh, yes?”

“It a wonderful song, really, but we need to be getting on with the fic.”

“Ohhhh,” it whined. “Can’t I do a bit more? I know one that’s more up-beat-”

I am the sorting headgear and I sing my merry sooooong

You can take me to the tailor if you find my brim too loooooong-

“No-no. Thank you, but we really should be moving to the actual casting,” Syvia replied quickly. She took the hat, which grumbled as she set it on her head. The prospective actors seated around the table exchanged looks as Syvia looked over her cast list, making affirmative noises every now and then and mumbling to the Hat as she looked over the parchment. The Hogwarts students waited nervously, Loki and Magie curiously, as Syvia conferred with the hat.

After a few moments she smiled. “I think that’s everything,” then she thought of something. “Oh, and while you’re there- would you really mind-?”

“Oh good Lord,” the Hat said, highly annoyed. “You’re such a mix that I’d have to do it by process of elimination.”

“Oh, please?” Syvia said, voice dripping with honey. Draco laughed and Syvia grinned good-humoredly at him. She waited, listening to the hat for a moment longer, thanked it and pulled it off her head.

“Well?” Draco smirked. “What house did it put you in?”

“None of your business,” Syvia grinned, putting her nose in the air. Loki eagerly tried on the hat, which slapped his forehead in irritation. “Now-” she said over Loki’s curses, “the new cast list is as follows-

Harry Potter- Dr. Frank N’ Furter

Hermionie Granger- Janet Weiss

Ron Weasley- Brad Majors

Neville Longbottom- Eddie

Draco Malfoy- Rocky

Ginny Weasley- Colombia

Magicalme- Magenta

“- and we still need someone to play Riff Raff, Dr. Everett V. Scott, the Narrator, and about twenty people to be the Transylvanians.”

“What am I, chopped liver?” Loki asked indignantly, passing the Sorting Hat to Magicalme.

“No, you’re a canned ham,” Syvia shot back. A few of the students snickered and Loki grinned.

“Good one.”

“The Hat told me to keep you around and wait to see what happened, but not to put you in one of the remaining roles.”

“Ah. Well, it’ll be fun to see everyone else making fools of themselves.”

Magicalme was taking the hat off, a wide smile on her face. “I get to be Magenta? Really?!”

Syvia shrugged. “That’s what the hat said.”

Magie squealed excitedly, causing Ginny to jump. “Oh, but I’m taking Hermionie’s role,” the redhead said guiltily.

“Don’t fret,” Hermionie said with a slight grin. “I'm fine with the change.” She was pouring over her script.

“You are?” Ron asked.

“Oh yes,” she replied. “You see, Janet symbolizes a woman who controls her own sexuality,” she said earnestly. “One who doesn't have to rely on a man for everything. Who-”

“Wears a bra and a slip through most of the musical,” Draco smirked, looking at the costume descriptions. Ron’s eyes widened and he frantically turned to the second page.

“Oh, that’s right. I forgot about that part-” Hermionie murmured to herself. Then she giggled softly.

“Syv, are you sure I’m really Frank-N-Furter material?” Harry asked the authoress.

“You might be, Harry. After all, none of us really know what’s in those things, do we?” Loki quipped.

Syvia chuckled and looked up at the young man. “I’ll tell you what the Casting Cap told me,” the girl said, pulling the Sorting Hat towards her. “‘Syvia,’ it said, ‘You did right to cast Harry Potter as Frank. He’s the title character in J. K. Rowling’s books, it’ll make the fic readers happy, and it’ll be one less thing for the rioters to complain about.’”

Harry sighed, then one word pierced his contemplation of the main role. “Rioters?” he asked worriedly.

Syvia’s answering nod was solemn. “Rioters.”