VoldeFest!

2. Yellow Fever

Hermione strode across the grounds and through the crowds, her billowing blue robes not quite pulling off the menace of Severus Snape's. But she meant for nothing and no one to get in her way. Winding through the crowd, she passed one of the more popular vendors, The Banana Cabana, selling all things banana: T-shirts, buttons, balloons, smoothies, desserts, and a Weasley's Wizard Wheezes taffy that turned one's head into a giant banana for thirty minutes. From the looks of things, several people had eaten some.

A boy wearing a white T-shirt with two bright red eyes on it bumped into Hermione. She paused briefly to read the caption ("I Know Who!") before rolling her eyes and continuing on her way. She hadn't gotten far when a small commotion caught her attention. Before she could find the source, someone yelled, "Peeves!" She didn't want to know any more.

Gradually, she slipped away and, taking a little known path through the edge of the forest, ran the rest of the way to Hagrid's hut. She knocked quietly on the door trying with all her might not to rush in and throw herself at the man on the other side. The door creaked open, and Hermione grinned as a tall, blonde man with silver eyes ushered her in. She squealed and threw herself at him. After a prolonged hug, they separated.

"Hullo, Hermione!" he said.

"Take it off," she demanded, out of breath. "Take it all off now!"

"Ooh, yes, ma'am!" he said, laughing. With a wave of his wand, the glamour disappeared, and green-eyed, mop-haired Harry Potter stood beaming at his best friend.

"Malfoy, Harry? Honestly!" She lightly punched his shoulder.

"I thought it was rather creative, myself."

"He couldn't wait to see your reaction," a soft voice added from behind Hermione.

Hermione turned toward it. "Glinda!" She reached for Harry's wife and gave her a solid hug. "You look wonderful. How have you been?"

"Just fine, just fine. Preparing our youngest for Hogwarts next month." Glinda pushed long brown curls out of her face. "Now you'll have three to deal with."

"Well, Lily is a handful. I'm beginning to think she can out-prank the Weasley twins. But Jimmy is a joy to teach. So what should we expect from Emily?"

Harry levitated Hagrid's oversized tea cups to the table and began filling them. "Oh, don't worry, she's just like her mother. A good witch."

Hermione smiled. "Where is Hagrid, by the way?"

"Emergency Hippogriff roundup," Harry said. "Told us to use the hut to hide out if the press managed to get too close to our rooms in the castle."

"Always the good friend," Hermione said.

"How is it out there?"

"Crowded." Hermione giggled. "And lots of bananas."

Harry groaned. "Damn, not again! When will they get it through their thick skulls that I hate bananas? Always have. I don't know where that damned peel came from. Didn't even know it was there. Or if it really was there at all. I mean honestly. When did you ever see anyone walk about the grounds eating bananas of all things?"

"It sure looks like a shriveled up banana peel in the Harry Potter Museum."

Harry picked up a lemon drop and threw it at her head.

"Hey!" Hermione protested. "It's not my fault your arse was saved by fruit." She picked up the candy. "Albus?"

"Yep. Gave me a whole bag. Thought I might need it to get through this damned weekend."

"Well they are quite yellow. Just like...oh I don't know...bananas."

Harry picked up another lemon drop and aimed, but Glinda stopped him.

"Darling, we're all glad that peel, or whatever, was there, aren't we. This happens every year, Harry. You know this. You can't keep letting it get to you."

"Hate bananas," Harry muttered into his teacup. "Don't even like yellow any more..."

A knock on the door stopped the conversation. Harry threw a new glamour on--the face of Ron Weasley.

Hermione grinned. "Now there's an improvement."

Harry winked at her and opened the door.

"Oi! I always wanted a twin of my own!" Ron, decked out in formal Auror robes, dashed inside and hugged his best friend.

"Think we can give Fred and George a run for their money, mate?"

"Worth a try," Ron said. He greeted his wife with a quick kiss and hugged Glinda.

His face back to normal, Harry handed Ron an enormous teacup. "Sounds like it's right wild out there."

Ron nodded. "You won't believe some of the things going on. We just finished rounding up our old friends Crabbe and Goyle. They were dressed like Grim Reapers, pointing at Muggles, scaring the hell out of them. Nutters."

"But why?" Glinda asked. "Everyone knows no proper Reaper would do anything in a crowd. They like to come calling with a bit of privacy. Grim Reapers in a crowd. Why that's just indecent!"

"Muggles don't know that," Hermione said. "They had a hard time sorting out the truth about werewolves and vampires, you remember."

"Well, they did manage to figure out what that whole Boogey Man thing was all about soon enough," Glinda said.

"Oh, here's a good one," Ron jumped in. "This morning some Muggle woman went to use the portable loo, and guess who made an untimely appearance?"

Harry's eyes widened. "Not Myrtle."

"The one and only. Never heard such a scream in all my days."

Hearty laughter broke out. The four finished their tea while catching up on each others' families and the latest on their friends. No one bothered to ask Harry what he had planned for Sunday's Epic Battle. In twenty-five years, that was the one question he never answered.

))))))))))

Harry's curiosity finally won over, and he set out with Glinda and Hermione to see what abominations the Wizard-Muggle collaboration was forcing the world to endure. Ron had returned to duty. Harry's new glamour gave him an angular face with brown eyes and longish hair. Glinda's new flaming red hair had her looking like she'd been plucked from the Weasley family tree.

"Where to first?" Harry asked, not at all enthused.

"Oh, let's just roam," Hermione said. "I think your children are still in the Legend of Harry Potter Pavilion. No doubt they've pulled my two into whatever mischief Lily has planned for them."

"We really should steer clear of that booth," Harry said. "For so many reasons. Merlin help them."

A Muggle woman approached the group. "Excuse me, mind if I ask a few questions?"

"And you are?" Hermione asked, suspicion lacing her voice.

"Ava Lane. American MuggleVision." She pointed to the AMV logo on her orange blazer and whipped out a microphone as if it were a wand. She waved the cameraman closer. "We're asking people if they've seen Harry Potter. It's rare to see him before the Epic Battle, you know, and we're offering prizes for anyone who can spot our elusive hero. We're calling it Potter-Spotting!"

"You what?" Hermoine was appalled.

"Oh, yes," Ava said. "People have been reporting random Harry Potter sightings all day. One woman claimed she saw him up in the Astronomy Tower an hour ago. Said he was testing the wind for some stunt he has planned for the battle. So have you seen him?" Ava eyed Harry and Glinda, ready to pounce on them next. They took a few steps back.

Hermione's eyes took on a dangerous glint. She glanced at her friends with an evil smile. "Well, Ava, let me tell you a story. In Hogwarts: A History..." she began as she pulled poor Ava and her helpless cameraman aside.

Harry and Glinda escaped to the shelter of the Gringotts Pavilion where a Goblin, wearing a tag that said, "Hello, my name is Pipsqueak. May I help you?" exchanged Wizard and Muggle currencies. Despite the tag, Pipsqueak looked positively put out.

"We should have stayed and talked to that reporter," Glinda said, giving Harry a playful look.

"Have you given in to the madness too, love?"

"We could have made up all kinds of things. After all, I have 'spotted' you in ways no one else ever has." She wiggled her eyebrows.

Harry blushed right through his glamour. "You wouldn't dare."

"Be nice to me, and you'll never have to find out."

He kissed her, and after a few minutes, the two decided it was safe to leave. As soon as they stepped outside, two banana-headed children walked by, dragged by their mother.

"But it's supposed to last, Mum!" one child said.

"It's been over an hour." The mother said. "We're going to the Infirmary Pavilion, and that's that. No more arguing. I told you not to eat that..."

Harry dropped his head onto Glinda's shoulder and let out the most pathetic sigh he could muster. "I. Hate. Bananas."