The Death Eater's Daughter

Chapter Twenty-Eight - Starstruck

For the next few days, Luci spent most of her time with Fleur and Charlie, filling them in on what little had been happening in her life, and listening to their stories. They had much more to tell, of course.

Fleur's honeymoon had been a wonderful adventure, especially when the full moon had risen one night and Bill had impulsively carried her into the jungle and torn off her clothes. Luci thought it sounded perfect and romantic, but Fleur complained that she'd been eaten alive by mosquitoes. So Luci, of course, told her to stop her bitching and be grateful that someone wanted to tear her clothes off. And Fleur accused her of having a crush on Charlie, whereupon, Luci laughed until she cried before adamantly denying it.

Though her actions said otherwise. She was spending a lot of time with him. She figured everyone must think that they were seeing each other. But neither of them cared. They enjoyed each other's company too much. Of course, Luci did remind herself what had happened the last time she'd enjoyed the company of a boy who had a girlfriend...

But she could really be herself with him, in a way that she never could with Harry. She had even told him all about her problems with Ginny, her plans to create her own safe house, and how her brother was giving her the silent treatment for helping Harry to find that letter at his family's home.

Oddly, it took Draco a long while to confront her about all of this time spent with Charlie. But he finally did, on Christmas Eve, as she was heading to the drawing room to meet her friend.

Draco happened to be on his way back from the bathroom, and upon seeing her, demanded, "Are you off to see that blood traitor ginger again?"

Luci frowned. "Oh, now you wanna talk to me?"

"Answer the question."

"Fine. I am, though it's none of your business. And don't call him that.

"I deserve to know who you're snogging instead of helping me revise!" huffed her brother.

She scoffed. "Draco, don't be silly. Charlie has a girlfriend. We have never done any snogging. We just hang out."

"Why don't you hang out with me anymore?"

Draco's eyes were melancholy, and she realized that she'd missed this version of him.

"Because you were angry with me and didn't want me around," she answered gently.

"That's not true," he sighed. "I just... you confuse me. I feel like I don't know who you are, or why you do certain things, like... spend time with these people that I hate."

Luci tilted her head to one side, studying his face. "Just because you hate them doesn't mean that I have to."

"We're Death Eaters!" he hissed. "We hate the same people!"

"Shh!" snapped Luci, and then fumbled for a quick answer.

Her brother was eying her expectantly.

"In the process of pretending to... well, to be a member of the Order... during that process, I've grown to like some of them. That's all. Do you expect me to isolate myself in my room until you decide to stop ignoring me?"

"I haven't... ignored you."

"Everyone ignores me, Draco. Except for Charlie. And I appreciate that."

His shoulders slumped in defeat, and he whined, "Sorry for ignoring you. Now, will you come back?"

Luci smirked. "You miss me, eh?"

Draco scowled at her, but admitted, "Yes."

"I miss you too," she grinned. "We'll play chess tomorrow, okay? There should be no fighting on Christmas anyway."

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Before turning in that night, Luci sent four packages off to their respective beds - an emerald green cloak for Draco that she had specifically traveled to Diagon Alley to purchase, a hologram that she created from memory of Bertha for Charlie since he missed her, a hair straightener for Fleur for those days when magic wasn't enough, and finally, Dumbledore's pocket watch for Harry.

She fell asleep with a smile on her face. She loved Christmas.

The next morning, she was woken earlier than usual by the clamor throughout the house. She imagined it was everyone getting excited about their gifts.

She sat up slowly, yawning and shivering against the cold, before retrieving her own presents from the desk. Amy, Kristen, and Josh had mailed parcels that had all arrived a few days ago. She had mailed theirs off to the states even earlier, weeks ago. But there had been nothing from her mother. She imagined something would be here eventually. Her mother never did anything with punctuality. It still made her sad though. Being away from home on Christmas was wretched.

Kristen's package was first, and Luci was delighted to find a framed photo of the pair of them. It was a candid shot from when they had gone to a concert the year before with Kristin's younger brother, Clay. The two girls grinning up at her looked so happy, in the pre-Maggie days. She sighed and put the photo away in her desk drawer, where Draco would never see it.

The second gift was a Japanese charm from Josh, and a note that read, "These jade pieces are said to help you to feel close to those who love you when you are far away. I miss you. Merry Christmas. Love, Josh."

Luci whimpered aloud. She missed him too. Very much. He would be pissed when he found out that she'd fallen in love with some guy who didn't give a shit about her. Again.

Amy had sent a box of coconut macaroons, Luci's favorite, and something that she hadn't been able to find around here, not that she'd looked far and wide or anything. She opened it immediately and shoved one into her mouth. It tasted like... comfort.

It was then, while chewing happily, that she noticed a plain brown lump at the bottom of her bed. She reached for it warily, and turned it over in her hands, before clawing curiously at the wrapping.

Inside, she found a book entitled Beginners Quidditch. Frowning, she opened the cover, and there, inscribed in his familiar handwriting, was, "Learn something, will you? Draco."

Luci laughed, feeling a flood of warmth in her chest. But then it occurred to her that she'd sent him that cloak anonymously, and he was going to think that she had forgotten him on Christmas. She'd have to bring something down to him. But what? Shit.

She was one of the first people in the kitchen. When Draco arrived, with his mother on his heels, he was wearing her cloak about his shoulders, and he looked magnificent in it. He was beaming from ear to ear, and she couldn't help doing the same at the sight of him.

He plopped down opposite her and asked, "What do you think?"

"It's gorgeous," she said affectionately.

He scrunched his nose at her slightly and replied, "I would have said 'distinguished,' but yeah."

"Positively majestic," commented Narcissa.

"Distinguished," agreed Luci, noticing Harry entering the room with Ron. He looked pleased, and she wondered what he thought of the watch.

"Something this excessive could only come from my father," her brother was announcing proudly. "There was no note attached or anything, but we're certain he sent it."

She felt heavy with... well, resentment, she supposed. She wanted to take credit for the cloak, but Draco was right - it was too excessive, and she couldn't explain. So she bit her tongue and instead, handed him the gift she'd snuck down the street to buy just a few minutes ago from the only place that was open - a pair of fancy Quidditch gloves.

And then Harry was passing behind her, and she couldn't help blurting, "Merry Christmas, Harry!"

He stopped and smiled down at her, replying, "Merry Christmas."

Her heart plunged into her stomach and she felt her cheeks pinken. She wasn't used to him anymore. She shouldn't have talked to him. It made her look like she had no pride, and it made Draco frown reprovingly at her before knocking over his glass of pumpkin juice in exasperation.

Narcissa immediately cried, "Oh!" and retrieved her wand, frantically attempting to clean up the spill before it could further soil the cloak.

Draco tried to shove her away and assured her, "My father will get me a new one."

Luci sighed. She should just tell him. She'd be able to clean the cloak anyway, so she was just shaking her head as the pair of them struggled with the sopping material.

"Your father's in Azkaban," provoked Harry from behind her.

Her jaw went slack, but then dropped completely open when Draco threw back, "At least my father is alive!"

And then, Harry was clambering across the table in order to punch her brother straight in the nose.

She gasped, and Draco launched to his feet, clutching his face with his hands, which were now covered in his blood.

Narcissa was standing too, shouting, "How dare you?" and then directing, "Episkey," at Draco's poor nose.

It clicked back into place, and he barked, "Have you gone mental, Potter?"

Luci was wondering the same thing.

But Harry merely replied coldly, "You asked for it, Malfoy."

"SHUT! UP!" bellowed Luci impulsively, rising from her seat.

And everyone did just that. It was silent, and every person in the room was looking at her. She didn't care.

"My god!" she seethed on. "What is it with you two?"

No one said anything for a moment, as she stood there boiling almost audibly, but then Draco answered, "He hit me!"

She was so mad at both of them, but she shot daggers at her brother and spat, "Can you blame him?"

"You're on his side?"

He sounded hurt, but she continued, "I'm not on anyone's side! I'm just exhausted from trying to referee the two of you! Can't you be civil to one another? It's Christmas, after all!"

Draco looked like he was going to argue with her, so she stopped him before he could, raising a palm and insisting, "I don't wanna hear it!"

Narcissa's hands went to her hips. "You can't talk to my son that way!"

Luci huffed. She was so fed up with this woman and her coddling. "Well, someone needs to talk to him that way."

Narcissa opened her mouth to retaliate, but apparently changed her mind, because she said nothing.

And Luci was done with them. She had bigger fish to fry.

She turned around, focusing her glare on Harry, who she felt had inexcusably overstepped, and spouting, "I know he provokes you, but must you always resort to violence?"

He simply blinked at her, looking mystified.

She growled at him.

"You two are infuriating!" she fumed before marching heatedly from the kitchen.

Charlie was on her heels, and he followed her silently all the way to her room.

"I don't feel like talking!" she barked at him, before trying to close him out.

He kept his foot in her way until she gave up and let him in.

He closed the door behind him and took a breath. "You okay?"

"Yes," she sighed, tumbling onto her bed, "just annoyed."

"I can see why you're upset, knowing that Draco is your brother... but what is going on between you and Harry?"

Luci looked up at him. Was she transparent to fucking everybody?

First, Hermione, and now Charlie. At least the former hadn't said a word to anyone, as far as Luci knew.

"Nothing," she still answered steadily. If she could throw him off, she would.

"He's the reason you're still here, isn't he? I kept thinking, after the wedding, that there was no way you'd stay here. You'd find a way to get out. You're resourceful. And I was surprised that you were still here."

"I gave my word, and that's why I'm still here," snapped Luci.

"You're miserable," Charlie pointed out. "So what reason would you have to stay? When you just told me yourself that you could create another place?"

"Because!" she cried. "I told Albus I was going to leave, and he asked me to stay put. So I stayed put."

"I'm not judging you. But you should know that he's pretty serious about my sister."

She nearly howled. "I know! He's gonna have a million red-headed babies with Perfect Ginny!"

There were tears now. She wondered how it was possible that she hadn't run out yet.

"A lot of people are... intrigued by Harry," Charlie went on carefully. "He's famous and talented and mysterious..."

Luci clenched her jaw, astounded. "Are you accusing me of being starstruck?"

"I'm just mentioning the possibility," he said slowly.

She shook her head at him, enraged. "I thought you were my friend. But you're just like everyone else."

"Luci..."

"Get out!" she commanded.

"No, we should talk about-"

"Fine! Then I'll leave. DON'T follow me!"

Then Luci stalked from her own room, leaving Charlie behind, and for some reason, her legs chose to take her to the drawing room.

She chose another book on Ancient Runes from one of the shelves and settled on the couch, her hands shaking. She tried to read for a long while, but couldn't concentrate.

Luci had never felt more hurt. It was the meaning thing that he could have said, and she could hardly believe that it had come from his mouth. Even Hermione hadn't been so callous.

It was such a shame. She had always loved Christmas. Maybe it was the Muggle aspect that she loved - the lights and the candies and the presents under the tree, and no one being hateful, and especially the Christmas carols.

She began to hum her favorite, Silver Bells, to comfort herself.

But someone interrupted by calling her name.

She jumped to her feet, dropping the book, and turned to see Harry. Why did it have to be him? Starstruck, indeed. That word could never describe the scope of her emotions toward him.

"I... didn't know you were there," she nearly squeaked at him.

"Sorry."

He came further into the room and bent down to pick up her book, handing it to her gently.

Luci looked into his face, the face that tortured her mind. She missed being with him in this room. So much.

"About all of that downstairs..." she started, wanting to put things right.

He cut her off. "I came to apologize to you. I shouldn't have hit him."

"What he said to you was inexcusable," she protested graciously, though she agreed. "I can't believe his nerve sometimes."

"Yeah," he said, looking away, down at his feet.

Luci was feeling such affection for him, wanting so badly just to reach out and...

Then he muttered, "Don't know how you can stand him."

"He'd ask me the same about you," she replied wryly. "But I know it hurts. Life without your father, I mean, and no one should ever throw it in your face that way."

She was probably saying too much, getting too personal, allowing herself to relate to him.

Harry looked back at her. "Is your father... dead... too?"

"Something like that," she answered slowly, chewing on her bottom lip, feeling this need to open up to him that she hadn't felt in so very long... Even though they'd drifted apart, when he was near, it felt like things were still the same.

"I'm really in an awful position here," she spilled. "I care about you both and you hate each other. I can't take sides, so I just have to try to mediate, I guess."

He grinned at her. Why was he grinning? This was not the time for grinning.

"What?" she demanded.

"Nothing. I'll try to get along with him."

"I appreciate that," she sighed, "but I don't think he'd make the same gesture, and it's a two-way street."

She had a hunch that Harry wouldn't make the gesture either, not for long. They were impossible.

"Yeah, he's always been a jerk," he said angrily.

So have you! she thought. They were both so intense and combative all the time.

"Listen to me, Harry," she seethed at him, and he met her gaze, attentive. "You have to learn to control your anger, especially if you intend on becoming an Auror. You can't go around losing your temper at everyone."

He frowned. "Why are you suddenly talking to me like I'm a child?"

That caught her off-guard. That wasn't how she'd meant it.

"It's just friendly advice. You have to get a grip on your emotions," she explained.

Luci could see his fists clench in fury. It was almost predictable.

She inhaled sharply. "Look, I understand anger; believe me. Better than you know. But it'll own you, and you can't let it. Your destiny is too great."

"I have every right to be angry," he hissed, gritting his teeth.

She nodded, knowing that he was right. "I'd be far angrier than you are if I'd experienced half of what you have! But you need to control your reactions to that anger. Not because you don't have a right to it, but because it's dangerous not to."

"You've never talked to me like this before," he said reproachfully. "What's really wrong?"

Everything was wrong. Absolutely everything.

But she responded, "Nothing's wrong. That's ridiculous."

"No, it isn't," he insisted. "We've hardly spoken in days."

Luci wanted to explode with indignation. How could he say that? He was the one...!

"No," she groused, "you've hardly spoken to me in days."

He shrugged. "Well, I was unconscious... and with Ron and Hermione here, I've just..."

"Exactly," she spat, before he could finish.

Harry narrowed his eyes at her. "Do you have a problem with my friends? Is that what this is about?"

Luci gaped at him. How did she get to be the one at fault here?

"No!" she protested. "No, it's just that, since you've gotten back, since way before..."

She stopped herself. What was she doing? She couldn't talk to him like he was her friend. Except that he was once, wasn't he? They'd been friends. She had to know if he thought so too.

"What?"

For a moment, she didn't answer. Finally, avoiding his eyes, she confessed feebly, "I've... sort of... missed you, that's all. Nights in the drawing room and stuff."

She felt entirely vulnerable to him, like she'd admitted to much more than missing him, like he'd see it, the way that Hermione and Charlie had.

She was scared of his response, but he only uttered, "Oh."

God, what a horrible thing to say at a time like this.

They were just standing there, not looking at each other. She'd shoved her thumbnail into her mouth, trying to think how to get out of this awkward situation that she'd created with her own foolishness.

Finally, Harry took a huge step away from her. And that was her answer. She might cry. Again.

"Forget I said that," was all she could choke out against her disgrace.

"I don't want to forget it."

Puzzled, her eyes went to his. Please say more.

And he did, starting slowly, "I've missed you too."

Everything inside of her tensed joyfully, hoping he'd continue.

"I just thought that we were keeping to ourselves because you didn't want Malfoy to know."

Oh, she'd been so stupid! She'd let him believe that keeping Draco in the dark was more important than spending time with him.

"We are. I'm just an idiot."

Harry huffed. "Why do you do that?"

Her mouth fell open. "I..."

She had no excuse. She hated herself, she supposed, and couldn't keep it inside. She was especially hating herself at the moment, for opening up to him, and because he'd thought she'd been pushing him away. All this time...

"No, I'd really like an answer."

Luci sucked in a breath and told him the truth. "I guess I just... don't like myself very much sometimes."

He shook his head. "That's mental."

"I'm mental," she nearly laughed from the irony. "Unfortunate character flaw."

Harry was frowning disapprovingly at her.

"You know, I don't like myself half the time either," he said, "but it seems like you're trying to make sure that no one else likes you either."

It was kind of an insensitive thing to say.

"You have me all figured out then?" she smirked.

"No! That's the problem!"

She cocked her head to one side. Did he want to figure her out?

"What do you want to know? Seriously. I'll answer anything that's mine to answer."

He thought for a moment and then, "Are you Muggleborn?"

It was out of the blue, but Luci nodded, "Half-Blood. My mother's a Muggle. But Draco can never know that, for obvious reasons."

Then her homesickness hit again and she whined, "God, I miss my mother..."

"And you said your dad is dead?"

Luci bit her tongue to keep from spewing something awful. She couldn't bear even thinking about him.

"I said, 'Something like that.' He's dead to me."

Harry's brow furrowed. "Did he do something...?"

"I don't wanna talk about him," she spouted.

"You said you'd answer anything I asked."

She flared her nostrils and said brusquely, "Yeah, well, I lied."

To her surprise, Harry ignored that comment and instead, coaxed softly, "Tell me about your dad."

It was sweet, but she couldn't.

She simply stated coldly, "He's a bastard."

Harry blinked, his eyes searching hers. "What could he have possibly done...?"

Why was he pushing this? Pushing her?

"He left, that's what!" she fumed. "The end."

"Okay."

"Thank you," Luci sniffed, relieved and turning her focus to her shoes.

They still looked new, since she rarely went outdoors. They were blurry through the tears, but they still looked new.

Harry didn't say anything more. They were just standing there, in the silence, as she fought her emotions.

Then she looked up at him, and she felt all of that love surging inside of her. She couldn't be near him any longer.

"Someday, Harry, I will tell you everything, much more than you ever wanted to know, but that day is not today."

She Disapparated before he could respond.

It was raining on the street, near the phone booth. She shut herself inside, shaking the water from her long, silver tresses. But she didn't bother drying her face, as it was more tears than rain, anyway.