The Death Eater's Daughter

Chapter Twenty-Five - The Pitch

Things had returned to normal, so to speak.

Luci and Draco were once again spending days on end, studying, playing games, and anything else they could find to do. They both wondered what on earth Narcissa was doing with her time.

Everyone else in the house avoided the Malfoys at all costs. Luci found it a bit wounding, though she knew that no one had any good reason to like them. What really hurt was, now that Ron and Hermione were back, Harry didn't care about her. He didn't want to hang out with her in the drawing room. He didn't want to learn from her. He didn't even want to speak to her, apparently. He'd forgotten that she existed.

And she could often think of nothing else but him. It was maddening, to be so invisible.

It had been weeks now, since he'd taken her to the Dursley home. And still, she had no reprieve.

She'd drunk two batches of the Amortentia cure, to no avail. She'd even tried a numbing potion that relieved all of her emotions for a few hours. But it had freaked Draco out and she'd decided to only use it if in desperate need. And that desperate need had woken her in the night a few times, and she had gulped urgently at the purple liquid, only to return to the pain in the morning.

There was, however, some success with her quest to create another safe house. It was a complicated process, but she was drawing up the plans. Now she just had to find a practical location.

Today's task was to visit Dumbledore's portrait and inquire as to whether he had any suggestions.

She was currently approaching the castle, the Professor's Pass around her neck, and fighting against the cold November wind. With the school being closed, she hoped she wouldn't be bothered again by that stupid ghost.

But Peeves was nowhere to be found and Luci made it to the Headmistress's office without distraction.

Dumbledore's portrait seemed to have just woken upon her arrival.

"Luci," he greeted her wearily.

"Sorry to wake you," she apologized.

"No, no, any cause to be awake is very welcome indeed. Quite dull around here, I'm afraid."

She grinned. "Mind if I sit?"

"Please," he answered, gesturing toward the chair in front of the large desk.

Luci lowered herself into it and went on, "I'm hoping you can help me."

Dumbledore nodded.

She'd gone over this in her head, but now that it had come time to ask him, she found herself fumbling with the words.

"The three of us... we're... miserable at Grimmauld Place. We're not welcome, and everyone makes it very clear. So... well, I've been looking into it, and I think that I could move us somewhere, and put a similar charm on the place to protect it. I just... I need a good location. If you might know of one."

"I see," said the portrait.

She waited.

Finally, he continued, "I would rather you stay where you are. You are safest there. I know it is hard for all of you, but I think it is best."

"You think it's best?" she threw back, annoyed. "What about what we think?"

"At Grimmauld Place, you are with people that I trust fully," he told her, unaffected. "As gifted as you are, Luci, you may need assistance from the Order at some point. I would not feel at ease if the three of you were in seclusion. Also, it is good to have you keeping an eye on Harry."

"I don't want anything to do with Harry!" she seethed, clambering to her feet.

Dumbledore frowned. "Has he offended you?"

Luci turned her back to the portrait, trying to push away her emotions, praying that he couldn't see.

"Yes," she muttered.

"How so?"

She slowly returned to look at him.

"I just..." she sighed. "I just can't deal with him."

His eyes were twinkling. Dammit.

But he only said, "Harry is a handful, it's true, but it is very important that he be protected. I trust you to aid the Order in this. I need you to stay, Luci."

"Albus!" she hissed back, and she rarely used his first name. "Can't you see that you're asking too much of me?"

"I am asking you to be strong, to endure, to be selfless."

Luci growled. "But I'm not good at any of those things."

"You are, unquestionably," he said kindly. "It is why I came to you. I knew that you would be able to put your brother before yourself. Can you do the same for Harry?"

"I do!" she blurted. Then she turned bright red and sunk dismally back into the chair.

"This is just more than I ever expected."

Dumbledore smiled. "Life's greatest joys can be in the unexpected."

"You and your little sayings..." she muttered.

And something occurred to her. His "little sayings" were what made him unique. If she could put them into that locket, Harry would know...

She got to her feet. "Can I start visiting a little more often? I have an idea. To... to put Harry first, I guess."

"Certainly," he nodded. "May I inquire as to this idea?"

"Your locket," she said. "I want to... to put some of your antic dotes into it. I just think he'd like it. He misses you."

"And I, him. It is a very thoughtful idea, Luci."

She exhaled defenselessly. He could see right through her.

"Does that mean that you will remain with the Order?"

Luci bit her lip and shook her head. "For now. Until I can't take it any longer."

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She couldn't take it any longer.

He wouldn't get out of her head. Ever.

She was trying to instruct Draco in Ancient Runes, but she was a little unclear on them herself. Her brain was too fuzzy, with daydreams of Harry floating about at inopportune times. He was ruining her life.

"Ugh!" she groaned. "Okay, go back to Charms. I need to read this book and figure it out."

"Some teacher you are," her brother teased.

Luci sighed. "It's the only thing I thought I might be good at. Apparently not."

"Shut up, you're great. Runes are useless."

"I am useless," she moaned.

"Join the club," Draco grumbled back.

She met his gaze. "I'm sorry, Drake. I didn't mean to..."

They'd picked up nicknames somewhere along the way. Luci relished it, especially because he'd started it by calling her "Luce."

"Never mind. No need to talk about my epic failure again."

"It wasn't an epic failure..." she coaxed. "You just have a conscience, that's all."

"I don't want a conscience! I disappointed the Dark Lord. I'm the reason-"

He stopped and took a shaky breath. It'd been awhile since he'd talked this way.

"The reason for what?" she prompted.

Draco looked away.

"The reason for what? Talk to me."

"The reason he's dead!" he snapped.

Luci frowned. "Who?"

"The stupid Headmaster."

She couldn't catch his eye, but she was fascinated by this new behavior and prodded, "Are you... remorseful of that?"

He didn't say anything.

"Why are you feeling guilty all the sudden?"

"It's not all the sudden," he spat at her. "You must think I'm heartless."

"No," she began slowly. "When we first met, I told you that you were trying to seem heartless, and other terrible things, but that I didn't believe any of it. And I still don't. I just... why are you telling me this now?"

"I dunno. Sick of keeping it inside."

She nodded silently, not wanting to speak and ruin the chance to hear his story.

"I was commanded to do it," sniffled her brother. "I'm not heartless. I had no choice."

Luci knew that there was always a choice. But she didn't bother mentioning this at the moment.

Instead, she said, "But you didn't kill him."

"But I'm the reason!" he cried, emotional now, stunning her.

Luci reached out for him, but he pulled away, getting to his feet.

"You don't know what I did."

"So tell me."

"I can't," he whined.

"You can tell me anything," she assured him. "I'm not judging you."

Draco finally looked at her and choked, "I let them in. Into my own school. They couldn't have done it without me. I was so... I was proud. But now..."

"Let who in?"

"The Death Eaters."

Luci took a moment to process. He had spoken of them as if he didn't belong. And her heart soared hopefully.

"Snape killed him, Draco," she said. "A man who was already in the school. That had nothing to do with you."

"He could have fought Snape!" argued her brother. "But not all of them at once! He was outnumbered! I did that!"

She had to tell him. He had to know. He couldn't live with this kind of guilt. If he had any hope of redeeming himself to anyone else, he had to forgive himself first.

"Sit down," she began.

He narrowed his eyes. "Why?"

"I need to tell you something. But you have to promise me that you won't tell anyone else. Not even your mother. No one."

Draco sat down across from her again, curious. "Okay?"

"Do you promise?"

"Sure. Yeah."

Luci sucked in a deep breath. God, she hoped he'd keep his promise.

"Dumbledore had been planning his death."

"What?" he demanded.

"I don't know why. All I know is that he and Snape had arranged it. It had nothing to do with you. You didn't cause it; you couldn't have prevented it."

This wasn't entirely true, because the Headmaster had died for Draco's sake. But her brother didn't need to know that.

He was frowning. "I don't understand."

"Neither do I, entirely," she admitted. "But I'm telling you that it would have happened even if you hadn't been involved. So there's no need for you to be feeling this kind of guilt. Though it's very endearing."

Her brother grimaced and then refocused. "But why would he plan his death?"

"I don't know. I will never get that man. I think he was nuts."

Draco laughed. "Yeah, he was, wasn't he?"

"Undoubtedly," she grinned.

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Luci flew into the kitchen, a bit delayed for dinner. She'd been at Hogwarts, collecting Dumbledore's voice for the locket. It had been her third trip, and the gift was coming along beautifully. She figured that she could finish it in the month she now had before Christmas. Harry was going to love it.

"You're always late," accused Draco.

"Because it's fashionable," she smiled at him.

He raised his eyebrows.

"It's a wonder anyone shows up for meals anymore," said Molly, who must have noticed Luci's tardiness. She turned to Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny. "With you four up at that pitch all the time."

Harry and his friends looked appalled that she would mention it out loud, as though it had been their little secret.

Draco made a noise.

"What?" asked Luci.

"A pitch," he grumbled. "I thought I'd heard one of them say it."

"What's a pitch?"

Her brother gave her a look of exasperation.

"For Quidditch!" he explained. "I've told you about it loads of times."

"Oh!" she said. "Right. Sorry. But how is there a pitch in this house?"

"I dunno."

"We can create your own pitch, Draco," suggested Narcissa.

"I can't play by myself," he snapped at his mother, and that was the end of the conversation.

Though it started up again the next day.

"Do you want me to try to make a pitch for you?" Luci asked her brother over a game of chess.

"No," he barked without looking up at her.

"Well, if you change your mind..."

He ignored her and said instead, "Checkmate."

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Nearly a week went by, with Draco moping around Grimmauld Place. It was obvious that he wanted to be playing Quidditch too. Everyone was making it seem as though they were having so much fun. It was all they talked about. The four of them always had tousled hair and rosy cheeks. Even Luci was curious.

It was a cold afternoon in early December, and Draco was working on a potion while Luci read the Ancient Runes book. But she couldn't concentrate.

Finally, she spoke up, revealing the idea she'd been pondering for days now.

"I'm going to ask them if you can play."

"What?"

Draco dropped a whole lovage leaf into his cauldron and the liquid inside popped and fizzled.

"I'm going up right now," Luci said again. "Because I want you to be able to play."

"No!" he hissed. "I don't wanna play with them."

"Well, you said you can't play alone. And you're dying to play, Draco, I can see it. So I'm going to convince them to let you."

He growled at her. "I'm not welcome."

"Neither am I, and I'll go with you and watch or something. It's not like I'd be leaving you alone with them."

"I'm not afraid of being alone with them," he said fiercely.

"No, I know," she assured him. "I just mean, I'll be there. So you don't feel totally out of place."

"They won't let me play, Luce."

"Sure, they will. You just have to agree to play fair and be civil and tolerate each other. It'd be worth it, wouldn't it?"

Draco considered for what must have been a full minute before answering, "Yeah, okay. It's worth it. But I'm not taking any shit from Potter."

"I wouldn't expect you to."

Luci was out of the room before her brother could protest, heading up to the third landing, where she'd seen the other kids going directly after meals.

There was a door open near one end of the hall, and a breeze was blowing onto the landing. She could hear laughter, and when she got nearer, she was inhaling fresh air. It smelled crisp and her mood was instantly buoyed.

Standing in the doorway, she saw a crystal blue sky, with three figures flying in every direction. Hermione was sitting on a bench nearby, reading a book. Despite it being December, the atmosphere in the room was mild and pleasant.

Luci stood and watched. They were chasing a few objects around, and they were unbelievably fast on their broomsticks. Ginny was dashing about like lightning, and Luci could see yet another reason why she belonged with Harry.

"Hey, do you wanna play?"

She looked up to see Ron eying her, and she instantly blushed.

"No, I'm atrocious, believe me. I was just watching."

This was when Harry noticed her, for the first time in months. Her stomach writhed under his gaze.

"Come on! I'm sure you're not that bad."

"Absolutely not!" Luci called back at him.

And then Harry had zipped down and landed in front of her. She managed to hide her instant breathlessness at his proximity.

"Why not?"

His hair was windblown and he was breathing heavily. God, she wanted to touch him...

"Because," she managed, "I have no desire to make a fool of myself."

Harry shook his head. "We're just playing around."

She pursed her lips nervously. "Actually... I wanted to see if Draco could play."

He moved away from her and scowled, "No way."

"Please, Harry," she pleaded. "He's bored and miserable, just like the rest of us. And he loves it. He'll play fair; I've already talked to him about it."

He looked stunned that she would even ask. It was audacious, she had to agree, since they hadn't spoken in so long. And now she was asking for something so contentious.

"Hurry up, Harry!" she heard Ginny yell irritably.

But he didn't look away from Luci. "Play a round with us and I'll think about it."

She had asked something insane of him, and now he was doing the same.

"Fine," she sighed, futile in his presence, "but you have to promise not to laugh."

"I promise," agreed Harry with a serious expression.

Luci began gnawing on the insides of her cheeks, anxious, as she went to retrieve a broom from the collection against the wall. She hadn't flown in so long that she wasn't sure if she could remember. But she was able to follow Harry into the air, keeping fairly steady, despite her nausea. Was it him or the altitude?

Ron joined them. "Do you know the rules?"

She frowned, trying to remember what Draco had told her. "Sort of. Don't you just get a ball through that hole over there?"

She nodded her head toward one of the goals and Ron laughed, "Harry, you'll have to let her be the Chaser, I think."

That term meant nothing to her. Her eyes wide, she squeaked, "What does the Chaser do again?"

Ron shook his head. "Just get the ball through the hole, like you said."

Luci could only nod. She was overwhelmed. She'd never met a sport that she could play well, and embarrassing herself in front of Harry was the last thing in the world that she wanted to do. But it was for Draco.

For Draco, she told herself resolutely.

Harry had added, "And I'm going to try to stop you."

She grimaced at him.

"And I will ignore you all!" cut in Ginny from somewhere above them.

"Me too!" came Hermione's voice from below.

Luci gave Harry a terrified expression, but he merely asked, "Okay, are you ready?"

She looked around. "Which ball am I supposed to be throwing?"

Harry pointed to a large, brown sphere. "That one. Hey, Hermione, pass me that bat."

A large wooden object rose effortlessly into the air, and Harry snagged it. Then there was a whistle blow, and he deserted her.

Bewildered, Luci sat suspended in air, watching the activity around her. After a few minutes, she made her way clumsily toward the ball that Harry had indicated. But it instinctively flew away from her. She hissed at it and pursued.

She finally managed to get her hands on it, but in letting go of her broomstick, nearly fell, and had to release the ball and start all over.

The second time, she was able to grip her broomstick with her thighs and throw the ball a short distance, but it soared left of the field, and nowhere near the goal.

This happened again, a few minutes later, and Ginny whizzed by, laughing hysterically at her.

Luci wanted to cry. Ron wasn't even paying attention anymore, but Harry was watching her. He looked disappointed. She would never be good at Quidditch. She would never be interesting. She would never be, well, she would never be Ginny Weasley.

She swallowed her pain, took a deep breath, and went after the ball again, this time seizing it with one hand. She tried to balance, to have the other hand free, but ended up losing the ball, which slammed into her face spitefully.

Dazed and humiliated, she cried, "Screw this! I give up!"

She started to descend, but Harry was suddenly floating next to her. Why wouldn't he go away? She couldn't handle him at this moment.

"It's okay," he encouraged, but she could see that he was stifling his laughter. "You can't be great at everything!"

She was miserable. "Yeah, but I'm great a nothing."

He shook his head. "Oh, shut up."

Luci was preparing to tell him to shut up and fuck off, but instead, she felt a blinding pain in the side of her stomach. She lost hold of her broom and went rocketing toward the ground.