A Tale of Little Plot

Harry grabs Ron and dashes him out of the room while Snape is in his office. He still has his hand clamped over Ron's mouth.

Harry: [suddenly looks at Ron, annoyed] RON!

Ron: *innocent* Mmf?

Harry: Ugh. [Removes his hand and wipes it on his trousers]

Ron: You've been eating chocolate haven't you?

Harry sighs despairingly (again).

Ron: Why'd you drag me out of the classroom anyway?

Harry: Because we have to save Hermione!

Ron: Uh... yeah... but, Harry... Hermione's in the classroom.

Harry: I know that!!

Ron: So why -

Harry: Because if we just try to steal her back Snape will probably turn US into Furbies too!!

Ron: Furbies? What's a Furby?

Harry: Oh, sorry, I forgot... you wouldn't know, would you? It's what Snape turned Hermione into. They're a kind of annoying Muggle toy that goes "Doo-ay". Dudley had one once but he trod on it.

It is not stated whether this was an accident or not. This is, in fact, a point that could easily be pondered, as anybody who as owned a Furby will know that they are one of the most dang annoying things ever created.

Ron: Oh.

Harry: Anyway, we have to find Dumbledore or someone so they can get Snape to turn Hermione back.

Ron: Yes, let's.

There is a pause. Neither of them move.

Harry: Ron... Do you think maybe we should get a move on?

Ron: Oh. Yeah, we probably should.

He still does not move. After some time he tenses, staring over Harry's shoulder.

Harry: [turning to see what Ron is staring at] What is it?

Ron: It's a magnificent door isn't it?

Harry sighs despairingly for the third time in less than fifteen minutes and, grabbing Ron by the wrists, proceeds to drag him along the ground behind him and up several staircases. Ron seems to be quite enjoying this for a while, but at length his expression suggests that he's beginning to find it rather uncomfortable, to say the least. At length they bump into Dumbledore, who is wearing a rather bemused expression on his face. Harry doesn't seem to notice this.

Harry: Professor Dumbledore! We've been looking for you! I -

Harry breaks off, looking slightly worried. Dumbledore looks in no way surprised and makes no comment as to ask why Harry is not in his potions lesson or why he is dragging his best friend/sidekick around by the wrists. He pauses, then starts again.

Harry: Uh... Professor Dumbledore, Snape is evil!! He -

Dumbledore: [looking concerned] Yes, Harry. Snape IS evil. But do you know what's really evil? Split ends. But I don't get them any more since I started using Pantene Pro-V! Its unique formula -

It is clear that Dumbledore is going to be of no help. Harry gives an exasperated sigh and begins to trudge off, still dragging Ron behind him.

Ron: You know Harry, that's the fourth despairing sigh you've done in the last hour or so.

Harry: That was an EXASPERATED sigh. Not a despairing one.

Ron: There's a difference?

Harry: Yes.

Ron looks confused, then shrugs and resigns himself to being dragged along the floor by the wrists.

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Oh the suspense!! How does Snape know what a Furby is to be able to change Hermione into one? Will Hermione ever get changed back? Why is Dumbledore endorsing Pantene Pro-V? How many sighs, both despairing and exasperated, can Harry get away with throughout the length of this fic before someone comes along and arrests him for unnecessarily large amounts of sighing? To Be Continued, as they say... *a drum is banged and someone says "BA BA BA BUMMM" in an unconvincing way*