Betrayal

Chapter 10

Ron made his way down the staircase, rubbing his eyes and trying to focus on his two best friends. His face was swollen and red, but it was clear that he was just waking up.

"Hermione..." he began, locking eyes with her. Then he looked at Harry, who turned away and looked back at Hermione. "Harry," said Ron rather forcefully making his way towards them. "Tell me what?" Ron looked back and forth between the two guilt-stricken faces.

"Um...Ron I need to talk to yo-"

"Look, Harry, never mind. Whatever you have got to say, can it please wait? I really need to talk to Hermione right now." Ron stared imploringly into her eyes. "Please," he said more to her than to Harry. Harry's jaw dropped. Maybe Ron hadn't noticed the terrified looks of guilt that were all over his and Hermione's faces.

"Of course Ron, we definitely need to talk." She shot a meaningful glance at Harry as she grabbed Ron's arm and led him to a couch in the corner.

"Shall I stick around, you know, for, um..." Harry didn't want Hermione carrying the burden of telling Ron by her self, but it seemed as if this was exactly what she was planning to do.

"No, Harry." Hermione's voice was firm.

"Look, mate, I'll see you later on, okay?" Ron gave Harry a feeble smile as he sat down, not knowing that he was about to get his heart crushed into a million pieces.

Harry's insides shook violently with guilt. He made his way slowly up the staircase and briefly caught Hermione's eye before opening the door to his dormitory. She gave him a small, encouraging look, which didn't make him feel any better. He sat down heavily on his bed, again wracked with a mass of mixed emotions. How could I have done this to Ron? Ron was his best friend, even before Hermione (but not much before). Ron was his first real friend, and he had just put their friendship in jeopardy by sleeping with his girlfriend. But they were broken up! He told himself. Ron had dumped her! She was, technically speaking, single when they had been together. Who was he kidding, technically speaking? What a bunch of crap! He had screwed Ron over and there was no way of getting around it.

But he really loved Hermione. It hadn't been a momentary loss of control due to overactive hormones. He knew that now. He loved that she was brilliant, brave, and loyal. And she loved him, as hard as it was for him to believe. She was in love with him, Harry. She loved the way he looked at her and the way he made her feel. Remembering her words took the edge off the pangs of guilt in his stomach. This whole situation was still incredibly unfair. He sighed deeply, lay back onto his bed, and stared up at the ceiling, waiting for Ron.

Ron gazed unhappily into Hermione's eyes trying to find the right words to tell her he was so very sorry. He didn't think anything he said could convey how sorry he truly was, so he just looked at her. She spoke first.

"Look, Ron, this just isn't working, as you probably know. We both have different values and ideas about how relationships are-are supposed to g-go...Ron, please don't..." Her voice had started out crisp and confident, but the slow and painful destruction of Ron's heart was so clearly evident on his face that her voice faltered and she began to tear up. Tears were already trickling down his face and he was looking at her as if she were a traffic accident, shaking his head slowly. Finally, he spoke, though his voice was raspy and broken.

"Hermione, n-no, okay? Please? Don't say what I think you're sa-saying. Okay? Just, no. Please hear me out before you say that." Hermione softly wiped the tears that were now spilling down his face in rivers. She was crying now too.

"Shhhhhh...Ron, I'm so sorry." He kept shaking his head as if this small gesture would change what was happening.

"Hermione, I am the world's biggest idiot!" He wailed. "I know that, I do! I have been such a selfish, insufferable, ignorant git! I never thought about your feelings, only mine! I know I did that, and I am so sorry! I'll never do it again, I'll always think of what you want first, always! I promise, I swear I will, please believe me Hermione!" Ron's voice was shrill with desperation; he was hysterical at the thought of losing her, and she knew it. Her insides burned with sadness and guilt for what she had not yet told him. She continued to try to wipe way his tears and murmured apologies as he ranted.

"No! This isn't happening! You can't end it like this! I'll do anything, Hermione, anything! I love you more than I have ever loved anyone else in my entire life, and I know you love me! You are everything to me, please don't do this! We can fix this, I can change! I promise, I will change...I'll..."

He was sobbing uncontrollably now, most of his energy was spent and all he could do was cry into her shoulder. Hermione held him and stroked his hair, waiting for him to calm down enough to tell him what was possibly the worst part of the whole thing. It tore her apart to tell him when he was this upset, but she couldn't prolong it. That would be worse in the long run. Also, she couldn't keep what was between her and Harry a secret until he recovered from their break-up. That could take a while and it was better to get it all over with at once.

After about ten minutes of Hermione listening to Ron's pitiful sobs, she lifted his head off her shoulder and looked into his eyes. They were hollow. She used the sleeve of her robe to wipe the remaining tears from his face as his heavy breathing got steadier and he began to regain control of himself.

"Hermione, please, why can't we work this out?" Ron's voice quivered and Hermione shut her eyes trying to muster up the courage to answer his question.

"Ron..." She was not sure how to begin. She wanted to start off by telling him how bad he had been making her feel since the beginning of the term, but she didn't want to make it seem as if what had happened between her and Harry was entirely his fault and that he deserved to feel the hurt that he was now feeling. In truth, she thought it was partially his fault, but the last thing she wanted to lay on him at this moment was guilt, for she still cared about him a great deal.

"I still love you so much. You are and always will be one of my best friends, but we can't be together anymore. We just don't work. We don't make each other feel the way two people who love each other should. When you looked at me like-"

"Hermione, I'm sorry! I was wrong, I didn't mean to-"

"-I was disgusting, just for wanting to be more intimate with you, it made me feel so low. Ron, that's not right. You need to be with someone who shares those beliefs and-"

"I can change! I've already told you I would change!"

"Ron, I don't want you to change. You shouldn't have to and besides, what's done is done. We can't take any of it back and I can't forget that it ever happened."

"So you are ending it because I've acted like a complete idiot recently, even though I am willing to do whatever it takes to make it up to you every day for the rest of our lives? You are going to throw us away because I made mistakes?"

Hermione took in a deep breath and looked Ron straight in the eyes. "The main reason we can't be together is because I am in love with Harry."