Betrayal

Chapter 4

Harry lay in bed the next morning and stared at the ceiling. He was dreading going down to breakfast and witnessing the awkward tension between his two best friends. He could not believe what they had told him the night before, particularly the part about Ron being an unbelievable prude. Ron had never said or done anything that would have prepared Harry for Ron's reaction to the simple touch. He was impressed, however, with Hermione's boldness in such an intimate situation. He had always pictured Ron pawing at Hermione while she protested. Harry sat up and glanced over at his friend's bed and noticed it was empty. I hope he has gone to talk to her and straighten things out before breakfast, he thought bitterly. He got up and got dressed quickly as his stomach began to growl.

Ron had indeed gone down to speak with Hermione before breakfast, but he had no clue about what he was going to say. When he entered the common room he was a bit surprised to see her sitting in a chair in the corner of the room reading a book. He cleared his throat softly to let her know that he was there. She looked up at him and said, "Hi," in a very small voice. She closed the book immediately and he took this as his cue to approach her. He sat on the couch to her right and tried desperately to think of what to say to her, but her voice interrupted his thoughts. "Look, Ron, about last night...what happened? Why did you freak out like that? We didn't do anything wrong?" Even after her and Harry's discussion the night before, Hermione needed to hear from Ron what he had been thinking.

"I, uh, just thought it was a bit soon for us to be going so quickly." His ears went pink. "You know I really love you, don't you?" Hermione looked a bit taken aback, because he had asked the question like he really didn't know what her answer would be.

"Of course I do, and I love you too," she sad quickly, wanting to make that point perfectly clear.

"Then you know that you don't have to do that stuff to get me to like you or stay with you, right? I don't want you to think you have to be easy for me to like you." Hermione winced. Did he just call her easy?

"What do you mean?" she asked slowly.

"I mean you don't have to do dirty things to impress me," he replied as if explaining something simple to a child.

"How was that dirty? It's normal to do things like that when two people love each other!" She was beginning to get angry. First he had called her easy, now he was implying that she was dirty.

"Are you kidding?" He asked incredulously. "Hermione, you touched...me! We've only been dating for two months! Isn't it a bit soon for all that? That's the stuff married people do!" Now he was beginning to get angry. Why couldn't she just understand that he didn't want her degrading herself to keep him? She stood up quickly.

"Ron, are you seriously saying all you want to do to me is kiss me until the day we get married?" She looked accusingly at him.

"Yesssss! We're not ready for more!" He stood up as he shouted this in her face. She stepped back, looking as if someone had just slapped her. The look of shock was suddenly overcome by a look of misery and defeat.

"Fine," she said quietly and turned away from him so he would not see the tears welling up in her eyes. "I'm going up to get ready for breakfast. I'll-I'll see you down there." She made her way quickly up to the girl's dormitory without giving him a second look. He sighed and made his way to the great hall. She had finally understood how he felt but was clearly not happy about it.

As soon as Hermione shut the door behind her she flung herself onto her bed, drew the curtains and sobbed uncontrollably. Ron was not physically attracted to her and she couldn't blame him. All she had ever talked about in the past six years was homework and books. Her hair was a bit bushy even though she had been taking extra care to smooth it down since they had begun dating. Maybe she had not dressed provocatively enough. It didn't matter; she couldn't do that now that she knew how he felt about those things. He would probably call her a whore if she tried to dress sexier to please him. What was wrong with him? She was so confused and hurt by his ability to be so matter-of-fact about not wanting to be intimate with her. She would have to just accept how he felt. She loved him and was not going to break up with him because he wouldn't sleep with her. She laughed bitterly at the thought of the girl in this relationship acting like the typical male pig. She wiped her eyes and checked her appearance in the mirror to see if her eyes were puffy and red. They were, so she sat back down and continued to wipe them softly with the sleeves of her robes.

The great hall was full when Harry arrived. He had waited to go down to breakfast, because he heard Ron and Hermione talking in the common room. As soon as he recognized their voices he went back upstairs and sat on his bed. He wanted to give them some private time to discuss the incident and be back to normal before he joined them. He took a seat directly across from Ron noticing that Hermione wasn't there.

"Where's Hermione?" Ron glanced up from his plate of toast and eggs. He looked tired and a little sad.

"She said she wanted to get ready for breakfast."

"So you spoke with her then, about, you know...?" Harry tried to sound like he was making casual conversation, but his insides burned with the desire to know how they had resolved it.

"Yeah, we talked about it. She knows how I feel and, since she didn't break up with me, I guess she accepts it. I don't think she is happy about it, though." He looked miserably at his plate as he said all this.

"Accepts what?" Harry asked slowly. Was he hearing what he thought he was hearing?

"She accepts that we, uh, won't go any further than kissing for a long, long time." He looked sheepishly up at Harry. Harry had never had so many different feelings at the same time. He felt shocked that Hermione would 'accept' this little arrangement and that Ron was even serious about it. He felt happy that she wouldn't be doing to Ron the things he wished she would do to him. He felt guilt about this last feeling. And he also felt sad, because he knew Hermione was probably really upset.

It was the last feeling that made Harry say what he was about to say. "Look, mate, don't you think you are being a little foolish? You guys are seventeen, not twelve. It's normal to do 'things' together. I don't understand why you are acting so weird about this." When he finished, he looked at Ron expectantly. Ron's cheeks had flushed at Harry's words.

"Don't tell me how to feel about this stuff! I know what's normal-" He stopped talking and turned his attention to the entrance of the great hall. Harry looked too and saw Hermione making her way towards them, feebly attempting to smile. Harry could tell that she had been crying.

"Hello!" She sounded falsely cheerful and would not meet Ron's eyes as she sat down next to him. Harry wanted to lunge over the table and choke the life out of Ron's body for making her cry. He settled for a disgusted sideways glance. Ron, however, did not notice as he was trying to read Hermione's face. He grabbed her hand and she looked up at him.

"Are we okay?" She stared at the pleading expression in his eyes and sighed resignedly.

"Yes." She let go of his hand and started to spoon scrambled eggs onto her plate. Ron gave her a relieved smile and started to eat his own breakfast happily. Harry wondered if Ron had been dropped on his head as a baby. Could he not see how Hermione was still upset by all of this? He watched Ron continue to eat his breakfast as though nothing had happened. Then he watched Hermione squish the eggs on her plate looking miserable. For the second day in a row Harry lost his appetite and got up to leave.

"Where are you going?" Hermione asked as he gathered his things.

"I'm not really that hungry. I'm going to take a walk." And he left.

When Harry got to the end of the hall he kicked a stone statue of a medieval knight with all the anger he was currently feeling. This was like a bad soap opera! He couldn't believe what an idiot Ron was! He would give anything in the world to be with Hermione, and he wouldn't waste it like Ron was doing! Ron must have the willpower of a bloody priest! How he could control himself around Hermione was beyond Harry's comprehension. He knew it was getting harder and harder for him to not lose control when he was with her. Trying not to stare at her or look disgusted when he saw her and Ron together was difficult. What did she see in him, anyway? Harry stopped in his tracks, feeling ashamed of him self. Ron was a good person and he loved her so much. Harry was sure that she saw a lot in him, even if he did have serious intimacy issues.