Betrayal

Chapter 3

Harry was by himself in the common room when Ron burst through the porthole looking thoroughly troubled.

"Ron, what the..."

But Ron cut in. "I need to talk to you. Now."

"Okay..."

Ron looked around frantically making sure they were alone. He then took in a deep breath and looked at Harry. Harry looked back expectantly.

"Well?"

Ron shook his head. He did not know how to bring something like this up even to Harry. For one thing, it seemed like he was betraying Hermione by telling intimate details of their love life. For another thing, what had happened had been really, well, unsettling. He did not know if he wanted to recount the situation. He took a deep breath and began.

"Hermione and I were just...spending time together and um..." Harry's mouth went dry; he did not want to be hearing any details of what went on in Ron and Hermione's love life. He simply couldn't handle it, but Ron continued.

"Well, have you ever been kissing a girl and things went, um, further?" Harry gulped.

"Uh...like what do you mean further?" But Harry knew. He had spent one blissful night with Cho Chang at the very end of their fifth year. She had come to him with apologies about how she had acted and wanted to prove that she loved him. She said she had wanted him to be her first, and he did not decline. Immediately afterwards she began to cry and mumbled something about how it had been a mistake. She left Harry feeling very confused and very, very alone. He received and owl from her the next day telling him she wanted no further contact with him. He had never told Ron about this. Ron's voice brought him back from this memory.

"Did you ever do anything more than kiss?" He asked impatiently.

"Yes. Cho and I went all the way."

"What?" Ron yelled.

"It only happened once, and she wants nothing to do with me, so it's over." If Ron hadn't just had a very unsettling experience with Hermione, he might have made some quip about Harry performing poorly, but he plowed on with his own situation.

"Okay, so you know about other, um, stuff. Okay. Look, I really love Hermione. I mean, I really, really, love her, so don't get offended by what I'm about to say."

Harry looked at him. He was slightly confused.

"Go on," he said slowly.

"Okay, Hermione and I were just kissing, and she...she touched it!" Ron looked at Harry expectantly. Harry felt nauseated but also confused. If Hermione had touched his penis, he would have been thrilled beyond words. He, in fact, had fantasized about that very thing the night before.

"And...?" Harry urged. Ron looked exasperated.

"Why would she do something like that? I mean, I already like her. Hell, I love her more than anything, but..." Harry wished he would stop saying that. "...but that sort of thing is dirty. It's what people do when they are driven by hormones rather than love." He stopped and looked away from Harry's stare.

"So you think Cho and I are dirty? That I'm dirty?" Harry asked steadily.

"No. I said don't be offended. I don't think that of you anyway. You didn't love Cho, did you? You didn't want to marry her and have children with her, did you? That's how I feel about Hermione, and I don't want to do anything like that with her until we are married. I don't think it's okay to think about the girl you love in that way."

Harry was beginning to understand. Ron was a prude! He stifled a laugh and then quickly looked at Ron.

"What was that for?"

"Nothing. No. You can't be serious? That's the stuff that boyfriends and girlfriends do! It's what makes the relationship exciting! It's not dirty especially if you love the girl." Harry didn't want to encourage Ron to do things he wished he could do with Hermione, but he couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Don't you want to do that stuff?" He asked awkwardly.

"Yes! I mean, no! I mean, I want to, but I don't think we should. We should wait; we've only been dating for two months." Just then, Harry thought of something.

"Where is Hermione? What did you say to her?"

"I didn't say anything, because I was so shocked. I just left her in the room."

"What?" Harry asked sharply. "You just left her there? She's probably really upset, Ron. You need to talk to her." Ron looked like this was the last thing he wanted to do. He got up and backed away from Harry.

"I think I'll wait until tomorrow. I need to think of what I'm going to say. 'Night." And with that he made his way up to the dormitory. Ron's mind was racing with various approaches to what he would say to Hermione the next day. He dreaded the conversation more than anything. As soon as he left Hermione entered the porthole. Her eyes were red, and Harry could tell she had been crying.

Harry looked away quickly; he did not know if Hermione would talk to him about what had just happened. He hoped she wouldn't; he didn't know if he could take it. Hearing about it from Ron was one thing, but from her... Hermione noticed Harry sitting in the armchair and made her way towards him. She needed to talk to someone and Harry was right there. As she came closer, Harry could see that she looked really upset and felt guilty about not wanting to talk to her about it.

"What's wrong Hermione?"

"Have you seen Ron?" She asked weakly.

"Yeah. He just went up to bed."

"Did he say anything to you about..." Harry did not want to lie to her, so he nodded. She was slightly relieved, because she did not want to have to give the details of what had just happened directly to Harry; she was glad Ron had covered that.

"Well?" She asked, sitting on the floor against the sofa next to him.

"Well what?" Harry was not sure what she wanted him to say.

"What do you think? Isn't he overreacting? Why does he think it's so wrong? We didn't even do that much; we've been dating for two months and have never done anything more than kiss! Isn't that weird?" It all poured out of her as if she had been holding it in for a while.

Harry got up and sat down next to her. He looked at her thoughtfully. He was trying to think of how to respond. "Um...I just think Ron really loves you and wants to take things slowly." It broke his heart to say these words, but he loved his two best friends and wanted them to be happy. Hermione looked down.

"I know he loves me, but...isn't he being a little unreasonable? The look on his face when, when..." She blushed, still not looking at Harry. "...he just looked disgusted." Tears rolled down her cheeks, and she covered her face with her hands. Harry put his arm around her and brought her head to his shoulder. He didn't know what to say. He thought Ron was an absolute lunatic to not want Hermione to touch him in that way.

"He thinks I'm disgusting!" She sobbed. "He couldn't stand for me to touch him!"

"Hermione, that's not it. He doesn't think that of you." But Harry was not so sure of this. Ron had given him the impression that he thought it was kind of gross for Hermione to do what she had done.

"Maybe he just isn't attracted to me in that way!" She wailed.

"Hermione," Harry said firmly, "that is definitely not it." She looked up at him, because he had said it with such conviction. Harry went on. "He thinks you're beautiful. He's just...is a bit old fashioned, I guess." She sighed heavily.

"He made me feel dirty," she said quietly. "I don't think I can handle this."

"Hermione, you're not dirty. It's normal to want to do other things. Please don't think that of yourself. Give Ron a little more time; talk to him about how you feel."

"I had sex with Viktor," she said suddenly, looking him directly in the eyes. "Do you think I'm dirty for doing that?" Harry winced; he was not expecting that to come out of her mouth. "It was nothing spectacular. It was pretty quick, actually-oh god! Please don't tell Ron. He'd probably break up with me."

"Hermione, you are not dirty, okay? And no, I won't tell Ron; he'd probably steal a broomstick and try to fly to Bulgaria and strangle Viktor." He smiled and hugged her tighter against his shoulder, savoring the warmth of her body. She looked up at him with relief in her eyes. She was not insane, nor was she a tramp contrary to how Ron had made her feel.

"Thanks Harry. I feel so much better hearing those words out loud." She kissed him on the cheek and got up. "I'm going to bed; I'm emotionally drained and physically exhausted." She turned around to look at Harry, who was reeling from the feel of her lips on his cheek.

"I love you Harry. You're such an amazing friend." And with that she left Harry tingling with a mixture of desire and sadness. He had longed to hear her say those words, but had not wanted them followed by a declaration of their friendship.

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