Harry Potter and the Golden Apple Corps

Chapter Two

"Nice one, boss," laughed Omar as she caught Harry, whose head had found a resting-place where, if he were to wake up at the moment would send him right back to la-la land again. She sent Harry's limp body over to lie on the couch and turned to Omar with a grin.

"I told you this would be fun. Besides, with Greyface teaming up with this kid's enemy, he's gonna need some help from us."

A large cockroach scuttled out from under Harry's couch and grew in size until he was about two feet long.

"Hi Gulik!" said Omar brightly. "How was your trip?"

"Terrible!" spat the roach. "I'm not sure which is worse, the bug sprays or the people who chase me trying as hard as they can to get a boot on me."

"Where's Mal-2?" asked Eris petulantly.

"You are frigging omniscient you silly slitch!" Omar snarled, "quit asking me questions you already know the answer to."

"It gives Spamseller something to type. Anyway, I think I'll send him off on a different mission anyway. Does this outfit work for you? I'd just as soon walk around in the buff, but I don't think the boy can take it."

"She couldn't take it," said Gulik firmly, gesturing with an antenna towards the now empty frame where Ginny's portrait hung on the wall. "I think we'll have company presently."

"I know we will," Eris said, overemphasizing the word to try to get Omar's goat. Omar, being one of her most faithful servants, shrugged it off. Eris was a little miffed at his lack of reaction but caused about a gallon of ice cold water from nowhere to hit Harry in the face.

As soon as Harry stopped spluttering, he asked, as calmly as he could, "Who the hell are you people, why are you in my house, and for that matter WHY IN THE BLOODY HELL IS THERE A TWO FOOT ROACH IN MY LIVING ROOM?"

"Can we wait for the rescue party to show up? I'd like to explain this only once."

"Do I have a choice?"

"No, not really. Gulik will bring you your wand, but it won't work on any of us anyway. Suffice it to say that we are allies in your fight."

The roach scuttled across the floor, picked up Harry's wand and brought it to him.

"Thanks," Harry said, wondering if this was what happened from drinking too much, but he'd only put a tiny bit of wraithrum in his soda--in fact, the bottle was still almost completely full.

He didn't have long to think about it, as his door burst open and the rescue party had arrived, most of them pointing their wands at the strangers. Remus Lupin, Tonks, and Arthur Weasley pointed theirs at Omar; Fred, George and Ron pointed theirs (of course) at Gulik. Hermione and Ginny, however, were the only two pointing their wands at Eris. Ginny was red in the face and it seemed to be only the fact that there was an auror in the room that kept her from A-K'ing Eris. Moody was the only one not pointing his wand anywhere. He had put it away and buried his face in his hands. He was muttering something that sounded suspiciously like "Oh no, not again, my nerves still haven't recovered from the last time." He gathered his composure as much as he could and growled, "Put 'em away people. There's nothing a wand can do to this lot. They're on our side anyway."

"You know these people and that bug?" asked Harry, desperately hoping for something to actually make sense.

"One person, Lord Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst, Bull Goose of Limbo and Chairman of the Fair Play for Switzerland Committee," Moody began through clenched teeth, "The roach is Saint Gulik, faithful insect servant of," he waved his hand towards the raven headed beauty in the minidress, "Eris Discordia, goddess of chaos, discord, and confusion. And if they are here to help, we're in more trouble than Voldemort."

"Alastor!" Eris screamed. The rest of the room turned a light pink as she ran up to the aging auror and jumped up on him, wrapping her legs around him and kissing him so hard that they thought she was going to come away with Moody's wooden leg clutched between her teeth.

The kiss went on for quite some time. Omar cleared his throat. Gulik groomed his antennae. Ginny walked across the room and sat down next to Harry. Fred, George, and Ron started a three-handed game of exploding snap.

When Eris finally let Moody come up for air he blushed slightly (although there is still some debate from those present as to whether it was from embarrassment or lack of oxygen) and said, "Er, yes. Well, I suppose we had better start this discussion somewhere."