The Book Of Jude

Chapter Twenty-Five: When Pieces Don't Fit

'You better believe there will be times in your life

When you'll be feeling like a stumbling fool

So take it from me you'll learn more from your accidents

Than anything you could ever learn at school'

Billy Joel, 'You're Only Human'

A few days had passed without much excitement. Jude had made cursory sweeps of the school--hidden passages, secret chambers and all--every day without fail. It was a bit of a task to remain unnoticed with the halls full of students and Filch and Mrs. Norris poking around everywhere. But she had managed just fine, creeping around at all hours of the day and night, much to the annoyance of her new 'owner'. Hermione had tried just about everything to keep her cat in her dorm room, but Crookshanks always managed to find his way out into the common room--or worse.

On a few occasions, Jude had almost managed to lay hands on Peter whom Ron was guarding jealously, unaware that his pet rat was not what it seemed. Jude was anxious to get Peter to talk, knowing that he had every answer she wanted regarding the Sirius Black mystery. But the man was seldom without his boy-protector and, as a rat was very adept at hiding in cracks and crevices when he could not have sanctuary in Ron's pocket. She had been growing impatient for days, then weeks when one night--early in October, Jude reckoned--she'd been presented with the perfect opportunity to have that little chat with her old friend. Well, maybe it wasn't perfect, but she had to take every chance she was given. Hermione was sitting in the Common Room chastising Ron for suggesting that Harry sneak out of school and join them in Hogsmeadethat weekend.

"Ron!" said Hermione. "Harry's supposed to say in school--,"

"He can't be the only third year left behind," said Ron. "Ask McGonagall, go on, Harry--," he finished, turning to Harry.

"Yeah, I think I will," said Harry with a decided nod. This pronouncement had the effect of pulling Jude's attention away from her latest trophy of the hunt--a large spider. She had finally given into the urge to catch and kill various small creatures to live off of, deciding that it would draw less attention if she did what cats do normally, and it lessened the need for her to break her cover and sneak off to the kitchens late at night. She leapt lightly onto Hermione's lap, huge spider with legs dangling morbidly in tow, begging her with her eyes to say something rational and stop her friend from doing something reckless. McGonagall surely would refuse and Jude was well aware that Harry possessed a certain tool that would make the rules barring him from Hogsmeade obsolete. In Jude's stead, she relied on Hermione to be the voice of reason and to convince her friend not to do something so stupid. But her sudden arrival was such a distraction that Hermione seemed to have lost her will to argue.

"Does he have to eat that thing in front of us?" Ron said, scowling at her. Jude's worry was assuaged for the moment, melting instead into dislike for the boy in front of her. Ron had been an unforeseen obstacle in her plans to get Peter--unforeseen and impassable. He was more stubborn and suspicious than either Bill or Charlie (the only two Weasleys she knew besides him) and did a damn good job of keeping his pet out of her reach. She chewed the spider slowly as she noticed his disgust. So, he didn't like spiders, did he? Her gray eyes were fixed insolently on him as he scowled even more.

"Clever Crookshanks, did you catch that all by yourself?" Hermione beamed as she affectionately ruffled her fur.

"Just keep him over there, that's all," Ron said irritably, turning back to the star charts he and Harry were working on. "I've got Scabbersasleep in my bag."

Jude's eyes went immediately to the bag at Ron's feet. It was now or never--he could thank her later. She waited for the right opportunity, but noticed Ron finishing up his chart. She needed to do this before he took the rat up to the safety of his room. Still staring at Ron, tail swishing with malice, she pounced on the bag.

"Oy!" Ron roared, seizing his bag as Crookshanks sank four sets of sharp claws deep inside it and began tearing ferociously. It wouldn't hurt Peter too badly if he happened to be skewered by a well-aimed claw--he would still be able to talk. "Get off, you stupid animal!"

Ron tried to pull her off amid cries from Hermione not to hurt her cat, but Jude would not be denied her catch this time. She'd almost been successfully dislodged when Ron whirled the bag around his head. Scabbershad come flying out of the top and under a table against the wall. Jude sprang after him, scrabbling over the tabletop and onto the floor, chasing the terrified rat. Jude did not feel like wasting a bit of mercy on this creature--she would have him this time, no matter how.

"Catch that cat!" Ron yelled.

Another of the numerous redheaded Weasley boys sprang at her but she evaded him skillfully, still plunging headlong through the room after Peter who seemed to see her as no more of a threat than a cat--a cat that wanted him for dinner. Scabbers, to Jude's amazement, had successfully navigated twenty pairs of legs and had found shelter under an old chest of drawers that was too low to admit anything beyond her front paw. She swiped at the space furiously, refusing to admit defeat until Hermione grabbed her around the middle and heaved her away.

"Look at him!" Ron yelled at Hermione, holding the offensive rat by the tail. "He's skin and bone! You keep that cat away from him!"

"Fat chance, kid!" Jude fumed as she struggled in Hermione's arms.

"Crookshanks doesn't understand it's wrong!" said Hermione, her voice shaking. "All cats chase rats, Ron!"

"There's something funny about that animal!" said Ron, trying to force a frantic Peter, or Scabbers, or whatever-the-hell-he-called-himself back into his shirt pocket. Jude froze. Was the boy suspicious? She would never have suspected him to catch on before the others--sure he had his qualities, but Jude doubted that perceptiveness was one of them. "It heard me say that Scabbers was in my bag!"

"Oh, what rubbish," said Hermione impatiently. "Crookshankscould smell him, Ron, how else do you think--"

"That cat's got it in for Scabbers!" Ron said, as people around him giggled.

"I've got it in for Peter! I don't give a shit about Scabbers!" Jude seethed silently, never taking her eyes off of Ron's shirt pocket.

"And Scabbers was here first, and he's ill!" Ron huffed and marched up to his dormitory.

That night had been a disaster, Jude had to admit. She'd missed her chance at Peter and she'd driven a wedge between Ron and Hermione. She'd felt a great deal of remorse that night as Hermione returned to her room, cat in tow, to fret over the fight she'd had with her friend. Jude was sure it would soon clear up, but still felt horrible over having caused such a scene. Then she mentally promised Hermione never to make a grab for the rat in front of Ron again--it caused too much suspicion to be thrown her way and Hermione suffered the backlash of her actions. No, from now on, she would have to attempt another capture on her own--alone. But Peter was seldom alone these days, she mused as she made her rounds.

Jude hoped her wanderings would not give her away. But cats were naturally curious and independent, right? That should be a good enough cover. Besides, Jude needed to assure herself that the castle was safe before she proceeded to explore the grounds surrounding it. Four days, however, was sufficient to cover the whole of the school--every corner of which was familiar to Jude, who'd found the last passage out of the school in her fourth year--but nothing had turned up to reward her efforts. This should have been reassuring to her, but it was just the opposite.

Now that she was certain of the safety within, she had to turn her attention outside of the stone walls. She fought the paralyzing fear that grappled for control of her when she thought of what was out there, just roaming the grounds freely. Dementors.

She knew her duty, however, and quickly padded down the steps and into the slanting afternoon rays of September sunlight. The coast was clear, as far as she could see and she heaved a sigh of relief. It felt good to be out of doors for a change--the thought that Peter was just out of her grasp was driving her nuts and if she could not get to him just yet, she would begin to hunt for his counterpart, Sirius Black.

And to do that, she needed information. Hagrid.

She directed her steps to the small hut near the lake where the Gamekeeper was most likely to be found. Slinking behind a large Hawthorne by the front door, Jude looked around furiously for any sign that she was being watched. Where the large orange cat had disappeared only seconds before, the curious sandy haired girl appeared.

She walked up to the door of the modest accommodations, grateful for the small respite from feline life, and knocked. Several booming barks let her know that the hut was not entirely deserted, but Jude could not tell if Hagridwas there or not. Moments chased the next, but no answer. Looking around, she wondered where the next logical place he could be was. Her eyes flicked to the castle and back--she knew he wasn't there, she'd checked it out only thirty or so minutes before. A dark movement in the forest caught her eye and she froze, her attention fixed on the spot. She expected to see the menacing, hooded figure from the train that had made such an impression on her. Instead she saw a large, shaggy black dog skirting the edge of the forest. She was thankful that she was human and not a cat at the moment--the dog was huge and looked like it could use a meal about Crookshank's size.

Finally, she heard movement at the back of the hut between the din of barking from within. Walking around the small house, she saw a paddock surrounding hippogriffs and...Hagrid?

"What's all this?" Jude asked curiously as she ambled up to the fence. She leaned over the wooden rails, resting her elbows on the rough surface and smiled up at the large man as he tended to his creatures.

"Hullo, Jude. Didn't 'spect to see you here." He spoke with none of his usual liveliness. Something was wrong, Jude surmised, furrowing her eyebrows. "These here," Hagrid gave a great sweep of the paddock with a massive hand, "are hippogriffs. They were for my firs' Care O' Magical Creatures class..." he continued without enthusiasm.

"Oh, Hagridthat's wonderful. You're perfect for the job." Jude beamed, but her encouraging smile faltered when her words seemed to cause the man pain instead of pride.

"Don' know 'bout that anymore." He was busy tying the ropes of one hippogriff's harness to the opposite side of the paddock, away from the others.

"Why would you say that, Hagrid?" Jude was confused. She doubted there was another person as qualified for this job as he was and was baffled by his lack of confidence in himself. He was practically obsessed with strange and unusual (not to mention dangerous) creatures.

"'Cause I let a student get hurt in me firs' lesson. That's not a good start to things." Hagridstroked the hippogriff as it rooted around for grubs in the soft earth at its feet. "Beaky here attacked Mr. Malfoy this mornin'. Don' know what got into 'im, but Beaky would never hurt anyone...unless, you know, he was insulted."

"I wouldn't put it past Malfoy. How bad was he injured?" Jude was beginning to see the situation as none of Hagrid's fault at all, but he was less than convinced.

"A bit of a gash, but that's 'bout it. Dumbledore said I can keep teachin', but Beaky here'll have to be reviewed by the Committee for the Disposal o' Dangerous Creatures." Hagridlooked distraught as the hippogriff in question nibbled carelessly on his catch, oblivious to his peril.

"I'm sorry, Hagrid." Jude was as apologetic as she sounded. She knew how attached Hagrid became with the creatures he looked after. And every verdict was guilty when it came to the Committee for the Disposal of Magical Creatures. And if Malfoywas involved, she would bet that his father would bully the Committee out of any just sentiments.

"S' not that bad. I got Harry an' Hermione an' Ron lookin' up cases fer me in the library."

The mention of Harry's name brought Jude back to her task. "Harry was here?"

"Yeh jus' missed him." Hagrid eyed her a bit suspiciously. "Why do yeh ask?"

"Don't tell me you believe those rumors?" Jude asked incredulously, her shoulders falling a bit with disappointment. She knew perfectly well that the half of the staff believed that she'd had a sinister hand in the Stone affair. Dumbledore's confidence in her loyalty only stretched so far and Jude could not really blame others for thinking her capable of treachery. She certainly wasn't above suspicion, but she thought that Hagrid at least knew her better than that.

"Course not!" Hagrid answered immediately, relieving Jude a bit. "I jus' didn't want to get Harry in any trouble. I know he's not supposed to be out and about with...well you know."

"Don't worry," Jude assured Hagrid. "I'm not going to take points away from him--I'm not a teacher here you know."

"So what are you doin' back?" he asked. "Not that it ain't good ter see yeh again, an all," he added quickly.

"You don't have a guess?" Jude pushed off of the rail and placed her hands in her pockets waiting for his reply.

"It don' have to do with..."

Jude nodded seriously. "That's what I came to talk to you about. I need to know everything about him, Hagrid."

"Well, we can' very well talk abou' this out here." He patted the hippogriff on the neck before ducking out of the paddock and leading Jude up the path to his hut. "You got quite a knack for getting' mixed up in all kind o' trouble, you know that?"

"I know," Jude conceded wearily.

***

"He was the Potter's Secret Keeper?" Jude shouted, astonished. Fang raised his head off of his paws sharply, surprised by the sudden outburst.

"Well, yeah," Hagrid confirmed, confused by her reaction. "He was James' best man an' his closest friend at school."

It made sense that he would have had that honor. Jude didn't know why it had never occurred to her before--they'd used the FideliusCharm--that much she knew from overhearing conversations concerning the Potters. Voldemort had been hunting them specifically for some time before and it was the logical step in keeping Him at bay. They'd invested their secret, however, in Black--not Peter, as she'd always believed. Peter had been a spy for Voldemort for a while before that Halloween that haunted Jude relentlessly. He'd been delighted that he was finally able to reveal to his master the location of his prey, and Jude had been present when he unveiled that they'd been hiding in Godric'sHollow. She remembered Peter's cloying and sniveling as he dangled his prize before his master. Peter had been their Secret Keeper, or he wouldn't have been able to divulge the secret...unless Black betrayed them as everyone had thought and told his friend what he wanted to know.

She'd been blind--completely and utterly blind! Just because she'd never heard her Master mention the man didn't automatically prove his innocence! How arrogant she'd been to think that she'd been privy to all her Master's dealings? She was just a child at the time, after all, and there had to have been things that Voldemort was keeping from her. Black could have been one of them.

Or he could have been tricked by Peter. But the only reality here was that Jude had been jumping to conclusions too soon. The puzzle pieces were not fitting together--there were still gaps and some just didn't line up like they should. At the moment Jude felt unforgivably dim and useless.

"Not to mention Harry's godfather..." Hagrid continued.

"What?" Jude was snatched from her reverie by the shock of the sentence.

"Blimey, didn't you ever wonder what he was doin' at Lily an' James' that night?" Hagrid furrowed his brow at her.

"I didn't really think about it..." she admitted. Come to think of it, why was he there on that night? Was he concerned for his friends? It certainly seemed that way when she'd first seen him, frantically digging through the rubble. But something about him had frightened her--something that was unexplainable--that told her not to give Harry over to him that night. Something in his eyes--he looked guilty.

"To think...if you hadn't gotten to Harry..." Hagrid was shaking his head at the thought.

"I didn't do anything to be proud of," Jude said blandly. "It's you he has to thank, Hagrid."

"I can't believe he could betray them like that...his best friend! And then killing little Peter Petegrew on top o' that!"

Jude winced. Black might have betrayed his best friend, but Hagridhad no idea how wrong he was about Peter. But she could tell no one yet that he was alive. She needed to talk to him first, but she was still formulating how to go about all of this. She needed to work out the puzzle--it wouldn't help if she took a hammer to the ill-fitting pieces.

"You couldn't have known about him, Hagrid..." Jude tried to allay his misery about that night but felt that she could provide little solace.

"You didn't know anythin' abou' it did you?" Hagrid asked her abruptly.

"No." She hoped she sounded convincing. "I just did what I was told." Flimsy, she thought. And it didn't really excuse anything she'd done that night, anyway.

Hagrid noticed the guilty and hurt look on Jude's face and didn't press the issue. She wasn't the target of his anger--Black was and it wouldn't do any good to attack Jude for what he did.

"Harry doesn't know 'bout any of this, so..." Hagrid began, but was silent as Jude held up her hand.

"Don't worry, Hagrid. I won't tell him." She smiled ironically. "I'm trying to keep my distance from him this year, because...well...and do you think he would believe anything I told him anyhow?"

Hagrid nodded.

"Thanks for everything." Jude rose to leave. "Good luck with the case and all. I hope everything works out for your hippogriff." She smiled, hoping that he would cheer up a little. It was all right for her to be completely miserable, but it didn't suit Hagrid. She earnestly hoped he could beat the odds with the Committee.

"Come back if you have any more questions." He opened the door and she passed through into the fading rays of sun and hurried back to the castle. She didn't fancy the idea of being caught outside the walls of the school at night. She didn't return to feline form until she was on the front steps, Hagridwatching from the door of his hut as she crossed the grounds. In the entrance, she dropped to all fours and padded past the Great Hall, where sounds of the students drifted out of the warm and glowing room, up to the Gryffindor Common Room. She had to find Peter. Just to chat, that's all.

***

Jude had become an increasingly antagonistic presence among the three friends. Every time she'd made an attempt to get to Peter, she'd been thwarted. With as many failed attempts under her belt as she had, she was starting to believe half-heartedly that these kids were working for the rat. She was still positive, to her relief, that Peter was oblivious to her presence and merely afraid of being the next meal of an extremely zealous cat, and therefore, hid creatively. Jude snuck into the boys' dormitory often only to find no trace of the rat. And when he was visible, it was always under the supervision of the infuriating redheaded boy.

Jude was beginning to despise Ron. If he wasn't swatting at her, he was badmouthing her to Hermione. Thankfully, the girl seemed to like the cat and defended her as much as possible. Well, at least someone didn't detest her presence in the common room.

It was Halloween--again. Jude dreaded the day every year. But this year seemed more painful than most and she chalked it up to the fact that the whole deal with Black was keeping that night ever-present on her mind. And she hated him for all he forced her to relive. She lay listlessly on the rug in front of the fire, for once preferring solitude over the abuse she received at the hand of Ron. Peter could take a number tonight--there was simply too much on her mind to deal with him right now.

One sweep of the halls this morning had revealed no new secrets concerning Black, who'd not been spotted as of yet. Still, she would take no chances and planned to make another search of the school as soon as everyone cleared off for the feast. Maybe if all was quiet around the castle, she could sneak past the damned dementors and pop on down to the Three Broomsticks to get thoroughly pissed. She'd like to see those memories just try to tread water--well, not water, exactly, but gin and vodka.

She picked her head up off of the rug lazily as Harry and his friends made for the portrait hole that served as the gateway into the Gryffindor environs. She stretched languidly before slipping out through their feet, unseen. She might as well begin the search now--Peter was in Ron's shirt pocket and therefore not available for a friendly talk. The three kids took the path leading to the Great Hall, but she took the opposite route to the dungeons--familiar territory for a former Slytherin with too much time on her hands. But the corridors were cold and silent and empty, yielding no clue that the murderer had been there. She moved on to the secret passage she'd found the summer after her second year--behind a tapestry, close to the Slytherin Common Room. Filch certainly knew about this one--how else could he have caught her sneaking out after hours so many times? She doubted he was just that good. The air was still and undisturbed behind the tapestry. She sniffed the air, utilizing her advanced animal senses, but all she discerned was dust and drafts--no sign of use.

She soon abandoned the fruitless search of the dark, lower floors, after the dungeons, the cellar, and classrooms had yielded nothing. The ground floor held little else of interest for her and she was reluctant to remain in those halls for too long, unsure of when the festivities would end and hundreds of stampeding students would cascade into the corridors. Still, over the sounds and smells from the Great Hall, Jude caught the scent of something else--not human, but she couldn't be sure. She trotted up the steps to the next floor, the scent leading her further on. Along a corridor of classrooms, all empty and silent, she prowled, following her senses until she stopped. Looking up she was surprised to be standing in front of a statue of a humpback witch. This was the secret entrance to a tunnel she knew led to Honeyduke'sin Hogsmeade. This was the last secret passage she'd found during her years here as a student. She didn't think anyone else, besides herself, knew about this passage--it required a password. Well, maybe Dumbledore knew about it, but certainly no other students know about it, and she knew Filch didn't know about it because it had served as a frequent escape route for her. And surely he didn't know about it...

No, the scent was definitely not human--it smelled like wet dog. Like Darcy when she ran about in the rain, Jude had no doubt that that was it. But that didn't make sense...a dog in the school? A dog in her secret passage?She continued down the corridor until she came to a flight of stairs. Her heart was racing as she climbed to the summit of the steps...she was headed in the direction of the Gryffindor Common Room. And the scent was getting stronger.

Gaining the landing, Jude saw a sight that made her freeze instantly, her feline instincts taking over. It was him. Sirius Black. He was glaring menacingly at the portrait of the Fat Lady in the pink, taffeta dress. He sounded angry and she could hear above his shouts the Fat Lady's refusal to let him pass.

"I know he's in there, let me by. You don't know how big of a mistake you're making!" Black bellowed at the portrait.

"Not without the password!" The Fat Lady continued to deny him access to the rooms beyond. He paced in front of her angrily.

Jude crept silently toward the scene, careful not to draw attention to herself. Black, losing his patience with the painting, raised a jagged and glimmering object that Jude recognized instantly, with wide eyes, as a knife. He brought the edge sharply downward, with a sickening ripping noise. There was a large rent in the canvass and the portrait's subject was shrieking. Two more gashes in the painting and the subject took flight through other paintings to...Jude couldn't guess.

Black wrapped his fingers around the unguarded frame, about to open the passage into Gryffindor Common Room, but stopped. He stood where he was, frozen, and turned toward the stairs where Jude stood, an orange cat staring fiercely back at him. She'd heard it too--voices of dozens of students returning in high spirits from a wonderful feast.

Jude watched as the ragged man turned and fled. She quickly and nimbly pursued him, not sure of what she could possibly do, but unwilling to let him escape all the same. He was headed down the opposite end of the corridor from which he came. But Jude knew that this floor continued around and another staircase would put him back on the floor with the humpback witch.

He was there now--on the same floor as his escape--but Jude was astonished to see him run toward the front entrance. Then it hit her--he didn't have a wand and therefore could not go back the way he came. The statue required an incantation with a wand to open the passage. He was going to walk out the front door. But wasn't he afraid that someone might see him? Was he that suicidal?

But as Jude watched him creep cautiously past the Great Hall, she noticed that most of the students remained in the Hall. The students that had interrupted him in his endeavor to get into the Gryffindor Common Room must have been a few loud students who'd left the feast early. The coast was clear.

He tugged the massive doors open allowing the scent and sound of the pounding rain fill her senses and passed through them. She raced out beneath his feet before he shut the door. She sat on the grass at the foot of the steps and held his curious gaze for some time. Then, to her astonishment, he sank to the wet, stone steps beneath his feet--once a ragged and sinister man, now a large and shaggy black dog.