The Book Of Jude

Chapter Fifteen: Brighter Days

'Where are you going? Where do you go?

Are you looking for answers

To questions under the stars?

Well if along the way, you are grown weary

You can rest with me till a brighter day,

It's okay.
I am no Superman, I have no answers for you

I am no hero, oh that's for sure

But I do know one thing for sure

Is where you are is where I want to be.'

Dave Matthews Band, Where Are You Going?

The air was crisp and dry, not a hint of oncoming rain. Only the occasional cloud marred the picturesque inky sky studded with its myriad of twinkling stars. Unlike the last time she'd stepped off the train in this station, the heavens were not venting their pent-up fury at her. It was a clear and beautiful night in Cambridge. She breathed it all in. Ouch. No more deep breaths--the pain was excruciating.

The long sleeves and jeans did much to cover the various scratches and bandages on her arms and legs, but her face, flecked with cuts and colored with bruises made her appear as if she were running from an abusive husband. She let the crowd in general have their little assumptions--she wasn't about to correct them, something about going toe to toe with a dark lord over some magical stone didn't seem like it would fly with the average inquirer.

Traveling light--only as much as she could lift with her shaky arms and fuzzy head--she managed to make good time. Having left Hogwarts only six hours earlier, she was now standing on the street in front of the small, quaint bakery. It was her dream to make this place her permanent home--with a real family. This was the closest she'd ever come to fashioning her reality into her dream.

But the last time she'd stood in front of this shop on the corner of Eden Street, bags in hand, the rain pounding down on the pavement all around her, she was running. Trying to get away. This was different--she meant to show up here. This was where she wanted to be--not just some safe place to hide from everything.

She was done hiding. It hadn't worked before. She wouldn't try to make it work now. The past was dead to her--but she would not try to sweep it under the rug. Rhys would know everything soon enough. Would he even still be there? Was Darcy still there? Or had everything changed in the short year she'd been gone.

Adda was still there--her name was still painted on the immaculate windows. Well, here goes nothing, Jude thought, walking into the small shop. Standing on the street eulogizing her Paradise would have been enough to satisfy her, but the dizziness demanded she wrap it up and head inside and sit before she passed out.

The tinkling of the familiar bell. The smell of croissants and cookies and coffee. The warm lights driving away the darkness of the night. She missed this place. A worn face, wrinkled into a smile, poked up from behind the counter. Jude expected the elated smile, the grandmotherly embrace, and the billions of questions, but she wasn't bargaining on the tears. The old woman melted at the sight of her.

"Jude!" Adda scurried out from behind the counter, immediately folding Jude into her arms in a hug that she wasn't aware that she missed. "I didn't think I would see you again, child." She sobbed into Jude's shoulder. "Where on God's green earth have you been?" she questioned, stepping back to survey her. Her face informed Jude that the impression her appearance made was not a good one. Adda's face fell. "Good heavens, child. What has happened to you?"

Jude sighed. Should she tell her the truth? No, Adda would never understand. She needed to think of something believable and fast. "Car accident," she blurted out, not even convincing her own ears.

Adda frowned. "So, where have you been this whole time then, dear? You said you would visit me."

Jude took a seat at the nearest table, not trusting her legs to keep her standing. "I had to do a favor for an old friend."

Adda took the seat across from her. "Dear, I can tell a lie when I see one. That was no car accident that you were in. I don't know why you don't trust me."

The old woman's words shocked Jude. So she wasn't going to be able to lie her way out of something. This had to be a first for her. "Okay, but I'm warning you--the truth is far more unbelievable than any story I could make up."

"It always is, dear." Adda wrapped her worn fingers around Jude's bandaged hands.

"Well, I did leave Cambridge to help an old friend. I went back to my former school in Scotland." Jude paused to gather her courage. So far so good. "The man that came to see me on the night that I left," Jude saw Adda nod. "He was one of my teachers. He asked me to come back and keep an eye on a boy that was starting school there."

Adda looked confused. "Was the boy in any danger?"

Jude nodded. "This is where the story gets unbelievable." She took another deep breath, trying not to wince at the pain in her side.

Taking advantage of the pause, Adda finished for her. "You're a witch?" At the shocked and surprised look Jude shot at her, she clarified, "Rhys told me a while ago. Oh, Jude you can't blame him. He told me years ago about himself, and when he found out you were the same, he was just so excited."

"Are you...?" Jude managed to stammer.

"Oh, no dear. I'm just a regular boring person." She smiled warmly at Jude. "So, the boy was in trouble?" Adda prompted.

"Yes," Jude regained her train of thought. "He was responsible for the defeat of a dark lord that had been terrorizing our people for decades. But he was not destroyed and had made attempts to regain his power...and we suspected that he would come after the boy. And since I was familiar with the...case, I was asked to look out for him."

Adda looked significantly at the bruises and cuts on Jude's face. "And I see you met up with this 'dark lord'. Well, I am glad you were not killed, then. Jude, I don't know what I would have done, what Rhys would have done, if you would have died."

Jude smiled. It was reassuring the way that Adda fawned over her. "I know. When I was...well, I couldn't help regretting that I might not see either of you again. And that I left Rhys in such a state. It was horrible of me, really." Jude suddenly realized what was so different about the place. A dog's bark had not greeted her when she walked through the door. Where was Darcy? And where was Rhys?

Adda chuckled softly as she watched Jude glance worriedly around the store. "He moved out into the real world almost ten months ago," she answered her questions without her needing to voice them. "I have been here alone. But he comes to visit me every now and again." At the look on Jude's face, she knew she would have to give more information. "He works for a firm in London. He's an architect, just like he always dreamed of being. Don't worry, dear. He'll be back."

It had not occurred to Jude that while her life kept going, kept pressing onward, that everyone else's would change as well. She suddenly, painfully missed Rhys. But at the same time, she was grateful that she would have a little time to sort out everything before she had to see him again. There was a lot for her to straighten out in her life before she could drag Rhys back into things. She didn't want him to see her like this. She also had to steal up as much courage as possible before she was ready to reveal all of her horrid secrets to him. But until then, she would content herself with spending every possible moment with Adda. She really did miss the old woman terribly.

***

The night was wearing on and Jude was growing tired. Adda must have noticed because she urged her to go upstairs to her old room and get some rest. Jude did not argue with the woman and after one last hug from her friend, she climbed to the landing and opened the door.

The rooms beyond were dark. The smell of disuse greeted her upon her entry. It was lonely to see a place where she and Rhys had spent countless hours together completely abandoned. There would be no rest for her here tonight.

She drug one of the chairs wearily from the table over to the large window facing the street. She sat down, hugging her arms over her chest and propping her feet up on the panes of the glass. The moon was full and bright with the stars twinkling like stunning diamonds in the ebony expanse. It was a beautiful night.

The thought struck her as odd that, even after a couple of attempts to end her own life by her hands, she had fought death so hard this last time. But, she reasoned, she'd never had someone like Rhys to live for. How could she give in to death when she had everything she'd ever wanted waiting for her here? She passed the night staring at the sky, thankful for a second chance to change her life. She would find the answers to her questions here, she was sure of it. She could be happy but not by running from her past. If telling Rhys was the price she had to pay for the life she'd always wanted, then she would. It wouldn't be easy, but she loved a challenge.

***

"What do you mean 'she left'?" The Minister was pacing uneasily in front of his desk.

"I mean, Cornelius," he clarified, folding his hands on his desk, "that she went back to Cambridge. Her task was completed here. She is free to do what she wishes now."

"No such freedom has been granted to her, Albus. She must inform the Ministry of any plans she has to relocate. She is still a threat to security as far as the Department of the Mysteries is concerned." Minister Fudge was trying his utmost at controlling his temper.

"She is no threat to you, Cornelius, I guarantee you. She has resumed her life as a Muggle. Finishing her last year at the university, so I hear." Dumbledore's placating tone seemed to assuage the Minister's fears somewhat and he took a seat in front of the Headmaster.

"Albus, I know you and your staff have a soft spot where the girl is concerned. I am not persecuting her for the mere sport of it, I assure you." He rubbed his eyes in a weary manner. As a politician, he prided himself on having the perfect gestures for every occasion. He would have everyone believe that he was just doing his duty to the people by making sure that traitors such as this girl were kept under a strict watch, not that he wanted to ruin this girl's life just for a little revenge. But the truth was that he loved the chase--making people who'd escaped justice pay was what made his job worthwhile. And she would pay, later if not sooner. "I am only looking out for the safety and well being of the people who elected me Minister. It is my job, you know."

"I know, Cornelius." It didn't matter what he said--he knew that full well. Cornelius would see things in whichever way he chose to see things. "But I have known Miss Elliot for ten years. For the most part, she has obeyed every rule the Ministry has placed in front of her. She is one of the most trustworthy people I have had the pleasure to know." He chanced a glance at the Minister to see how the ever so slight insult was received. The Minister blanched almost imperceptibly. The Headmaster smiled. "And if you cannot take her word for it, Minister, please take mine."

Fudge rose to his feet. Obviously the old man still believed his precious model student to be innocent of the affairs of the last year. He would be of no help to him in this matter. He would be on his own on this one. Replacing the bowler hat on his head, he extended his hand to the Headmaster. "Then, I will have to content myself with your word, old friend. And you can assure me that she is in Cambridge at this very moment, living as a Muggle and attending school?"

Dumbledore nodded. "I received a letter from an old friend on the Board there. He informed me that she has registered for the upcoming semester." He handed the Minister a letter, which was perused most ravenously.

All seemed to be as Dumbledore had assured him. "Well, she will still have to be watched...at least for a while," he added after a slight glance from the old man. "But," he continued in a hopeful tone, "if all goes well and she stays out of trouble, I will personally call off the hounds." Turning to the door, he smiled back at the Headmaster in what he calculated as an innocent and good-intentioned appearance. "Good day, Albus. And thank you for your time."

"Don't mention it, Cornelius." Dumbledore rose as well to see his guest to the door.

Cornelius Fudge stepped out into the summer sunshine. As soon as he was back at the Ministry, he would call a meeting with the Department of the Mysteries. "That girl will be watched like a hawk before sunset." He chuckled and tossed his cane in the air, catching it deftly with the other hand.

***

She didn't know why she'd asked him to meet her there. It didn't exactly hold a lot of happy memories for her, and she was sure he'd feel the same way about this place. But bathed in the late winter sun with silent, still waters gliding by, it seemed as if nothing bad could have ever happened here.

"I hope he comes," she sighed.

"Well, if you were expecting someone, I'll just shove off, then."

Jude jumped at the reply. She wasn't aware that she'd said anything aloud. Turning around swiftly, she saw the familiar figure of Rhys, hands in his pockets and a lopsided grin on his face. He had a way of looking handsome without even trying.

"Rhys." She tried to measure her excitement, not wanting to seem too eager to see him. But her heart leaped in her chest and she could hardly breathe.

He crossed the last small distance between them and wrapped her up in his arms. "I've missed you, Jude," he whispered into her hair where one hand was already entwined in the straight locks at her neck.

She pulled herself tightly into his embrace. He and Adda were the only two people who had ever hugged her--that she could recall. It felt good to be so close to someone she loved so much. "I've missed you too," she confessed, burying her face in his shoulder.

Pulling back from her, he asked her a question that had been on his mind for a year. "Where have you been all this time, Love?"

"Scotland, actually." She hoped her explanation didn't sound lame. "I was asked to come back to my old school as assistant to my former Headmaster."

"That's great, Love." He sounded genuinely happy for her. "And when do you go back?" he asked, arms still wrapped adoringly around her.

"I...don't, actually. I turned down the offer to come back." She settled her head back into his shoulder. It had been torture to spend the last few months getting herself together, knowing that the whole time, he was simply waiting for her. A few weeks after she'd returned from Hogwarts, she'd sent him a letter, asking him for forgiveness and time. She needed a few months to sort things out and gather a reserve of courage large enough to tackle what she had planned. She'd originally asked him to meet her at the Midsummer Fair in July, but found it impossible to wait that long to see him again. She'd eventually broken down and begged him to meet her on Silver Street Bridge.

"Why?" he asked, shocked that she would turn down such an opportunity.

"A lot of reasons, but mostly, I missed you." She hoped it didn't sound cliché and unoriginal.

He closed his eyes and pressed his lips to her temple. She could feel him smiling. He brushed the hair away from her face and his hand brushed a small scar on her jaw. "What's this?" he asked, bringing her face closer to his scrutinizing gaze.

She sighed. She was not ready to tell him everything. That was all postponed until July, at the Midsummer Fair, where she would tell him everything. "It's nothing...it's everything, actually. Rhys, I have a lot to tell you. But not here, not now. I still want you to meet me at the Commons on July the Seventh. I promise to tell you everything there." She held both of his hands in her shaky grasp, her glare cast deep into his eyes, begging him to agree to anything she said. "I'll tell you everything, I promise."

He sighed and drew her back into him. "Sure thing, Love. I'll be wherever you say, whenever you say. I love you."

She didn't want this to end. Just standing here, like this forever would have suited her every wish. She didn't want Rhys to go back to London where his new life was waiting for him. She didn't want to go back to Adda's just yet, where everything was the same as it had always been, yet wholly different without Rhys there. But come July, she'd have everything she'd ever wanted or she would know for certain that she could never have it.