Flower Potter and the Stone of Hot Ice

The Journey To and From Platform 9 and 3/4's

Flower spent the rest of her Summer vacation at the inn in Diagon Alley - it was much better than living with the Dorksleys. She decided to name her new pet owl Headhuntress, a name she found in The Boring As Hell History of Magic and Crap Like That.

Eventually, come September 1st, she asked the wizarding folks at the Leaky Cauldron howto get to Queens Crutch Station where she could board the train to Hogwarts, and luckily enough, it was actually right across the street for various plot reasons pretaining to the author-RESS's (this line will make sense when you hit chapter 16) laziness.

Flower went over to the station early at 10:40, and went off to find.... Platform 9 and 3/4's? Whaaaa?

She did a doubletake.

A doubletake to top all doubletakes.

Better than Chump and the Dead FBI Agent.

WHERE THE "HFIL" WAS PLATFORM 9 AND 3/4'S?

As she stood there mindlessly, a Hare Krishna ran upto her with a tulip in hand.

"FLOWER FROM GOD!" he yelled.

Flower immediately took battle stance - these guys were dangerous. As he began to intercept him, two more, starboard side, ran upto her. She did a Matrix kick to the first, then leaped up in the air and did a dual mega spinning face kick to the other two.

A squadron of Hare Krishna's appeared suddenly bearing armor, flowers, hippie-like duds, and there faces were painted blue on one side, white on another. They all ran to attack her, when she whipped off her clothes revealing a black leather jacket, sunglasses, and a gun that blasted Hippie's into the 90's and made them leave the 70's. It was called.............. the Alan Parsons Project.

She blasted the squad away with the Alan Parsons Project (though some Harry Potter fans would have wished it be named the Alan Rickman Project) and blew away the psychedelic smoke coming out of the gun afterwords, put back on her normal clothes, and went to find the Platform.

She heard a group of red-heads talking. The motherly figure mentioned something about Muggles, and she quickly stalked after them.

"Excuse me!" pipped Flower. The mother, the oldest girls, the twin sisters, the young boy, and the young girl all turned around and looked at her. "How do you... get to Platform 9 and 3/4's?"

The mother looked sympathetic. "Oh, why it's very easy dear! You need to run between the pillar there at Platform's 9 and 10!"

"So... you want me to run into a wall where a thousand things could go wrong?"

"Yes!"

"Errr..."

"Here, Patty," she said to her oldest daughter. "You do it first."

Patty ran strait into the pillar as a group of Muggles walked by, and then she disappeared.

"Freida! Georgia!" she said to her two twin girls. "You two next!"

"Right-o!" said one of the twins. She ran through, and her twin followed her.

"Haruko?" she asked the youngest daughter.

Haruko ran through smiling, and then the mother notioned for Flower.

"Go on! Try it!" she encouraged her.

Flower took a great deep breath, then ran through, the mother and her son followed them. She had made it! No crash! No Flower stew! No nothing!

Flower sighed of relief, and then went to the luggage loading area. The two twin girls, Frieda and Georgia, were loading luggage.

"Need help?" asked one.

"Oh, sure," said Flower.

One of them quickly took Headhuntress, and Flower's larger trunk. She helped them get some of the smaller parcels on, then kept a small bag for herself. She quickly whipped back her bangs because of how stuffy it was.

"WOW!" said one of the twins. "THE UPSIDE DOWN CIRCLE Y SCAR! ARE YOU-?"

"It has to be!"

"Could it be?"

"Who?" asked Flower dully.

"FLOWER POTTER!" they screamed in a voice so loud that only the people inside the train didn't hear it.

"Oh, yea, of course I am!" she said proudly.

The other twin, who had a headband, wrung her hand. "I'm Georgia Weasley! And this is my twin Frieda!" Frieda wrung her hand as well.

"Nice to meet you," said Flower uncertainly.

She hopped on the train, and found an empty compartment. She was soon joined by the youngest Weasley daughter, Haruko.

"Mind if I sit here?" asked Haruko.

"No, not really," replied Flower.

Freida and Georgia stuck their heads in suddenly.

"Oh, hey Flower!" said Georgia. "This is our little sister Haruko! Heehee!"

"Anywho, just saying hi again! Cya!" yelled Frieda as she and Georgia went to sit with their friends.

"Waitaminute..." said Haruko suddenly. "Are you really...?"

"Flower Potter?" repeated Flower.

"Yea!"

"Uh, yea-"

"Surely you have to be kidding me!" she said.

"No, I'm not, and don't call me Shirley!" said Flower.

"WOW!" yelled Haruko. "This is like, WOW!"

A lady with a treat cart suddenly came wheeling by. She looked into the cart.

"Do any of you want some treats before the train leaves?" she asked.

Haruko blushed a magnificent red. "Uh, no thanks."

Flower reached into her pocket, and pulled out a bunch of Galleons and Sickles. She looked at the lady. "We'll take the whole trolley!" Haruko turned flaming red to match her hair, and didn't say anything. Flower picked up a Chocolate Frog, and stared at it curiously as the journey continued on.

"Is this really...?"

"Nah. The Frogs don't taste that good... but it's the cards ya want though!"

Flower opened it up, and found she had the card of Armando Dippet. She read from the back of the card, "Armando Dippet is famous for his work in Transfiguration, when he helped the Yankees win the world series for the first time, his defeat of the original Dark Wizard; the German alchemist Faust, and his intense study in Caffeinology with his partner Mochas Flamminel."

"He's the headmaster at Hogwarts too," said Haruko.

As the journey to Hogwarts went on, the girls shared the entire trolley to themselves and became pretty good friends over it. As they began drinking their Enchanted Expresso Shot's, a boy with brown hair who was short and stumpy suddenly ran into the compartment.

"Owhay Oday Uoyay Urecay Igpay Atinlay Ursecay?"

They stared at him blankly, then he pouted and ran off again. They shrugged and went back to the expresso shots. At the end of their 10th Enchanted Expresso Shot, they decided to make a guy talley with a lists of guys and how cute they were. There first target, and highest ranking male, would be soon to come.

"Oh yea," said Haruko. "This is my pet bunny, Hop Hop." She held up a small white rabbit. "It used to be my older sister Billie's. Frieda showed me some magic that could make her perform Riverdance... wanna see?" "Sure!" said Flower.

Haruko got out her wand ("Handed down from Charli," she noted) when a beautiful and tall black haired boy came into the compartment. Flower dropped her Cinnamon Stick on the floor, and Haruko stared in awe.

"Oh?" he asked. "Are you going to do magic? Well, lets see!" He had already gotten dressed in his robes and had a silver P badge.

Haruko smiled goofily, then pointed her want towards Hop Hop. "Bunny rabbit, you stupid prat, your useless even at, the easiest things known to man. Move your legs, do the Brownian motion, because I want to see, some Celtic dancing!"

There was a big boom, but Hop Hop did not dance Riverdance.

"Well," smirked the incredibly cute boy. "That wasn't very good, was it?"

Haruko immediately leered - he might be pretty but damn was he a bastard.

"I'm a 4th year in Slytherin House," he continued. "I'm from a Muggle orphanage so naturally I was very suprised to find out my mother was a Witch. I've learned all the standard course books for all seven years here at Hogwarts and memorized them by heart, but the blasted Ministry of Magic won't let me become an Animagi nor will they let me take the Apparition Test though I've already prove to them I can get a 200% on both tests; it's all because of my being 3 years underage, and no one, not even the Headmaster who favors me so, will give me persmission to go into the Restricted section of the library! I've already read all and memorized all the books in the regular student library." He said this all very quickly. "So anywho, my name's Tom Riddle, who're you two?"

"Haruko Weasley," muttered Haruko.

"I'm Flower Potter," said Flower.

"You mean, the Flower Potter?" he asked.

"Uh, yea...." she repeated.

"Oh I've read all about you in Modern Wizarding Crap and The Dark Arts: Grindelwalds Biography AND Supa Koo Events of the Past Decade!"

"Popular, aren't ya?" asked Haruko.

Flower blushed. "Uh, er, thanks?" she said.

"Oh, think nothing of it!" said Tom. "I'm just doing my part as the witty and smart bastard guy who has no friends and no one likes because he's a geek! Well anywho, do any of you know howto speak Pig Latin? Orville Wright got struck with the Pig Latin curse by accident, and then he suddenly just acted weird and no one knows why because we can't speak to him in Pig Latin."

"Uhm, no, sorry," replied Flower.

"What's Pig Latin?" asked Haruko.

"Some immature Muggle language," he said.

"... oh," the girls replied.

"Well, I'll be going now - I need to find someone who knows howto speak Pig Latin!"

"Uhm, if your so smart," asked Haruko, "why don't you cast the counter-curse and cure him?"

"Well, I would've," said Tom, "but for plot reasons, I have to not be able to in order to meet you two so we can form a not so friendly friendship... and you two oughta change soon. Hogwarts should be coming up any moment now."

And then he left. Flower stared at Haruko. "I hope I'm not in Slytherin with him," gagged Haruko. "Annoying bastard!"


"Well," she began, "my two older twin sisters Frieda and Georgia are in Slytherin, my third oldest sister Patricia, or Patty as we call her, is in Ravenclaw, and my mom and dad were in Ravenclaw, then my older sister Billie was in Slytherin, and Charli was in Ravenclaw, and my little brother, West, thinks he'll be in Hufflepuff. I'd rather be in Slytherin than Hufflepuff!"

"Oh yea," said Flower. "That's the house Grinde-er, The-Big-Mean-Guy was in, wasn't it?"

"Yea. Apparently he was a very good Quidditch Player and won Hufflepuff the House Quidditch matches six years in a row."

"Wow," replied Flower.

"Ever since his day, Hufflepuff's ALWAYS won the House Cup!"

The door suddenly slid open, and it was the prim bitchy girl from the If You Buy Robes Here You've Got Too Much Money robe store. She entered with two of her friends.

"So, it is true! Flower Potter's at Hogwarts!" she said.

"Well, yeah," replied Flower bossily.

Haruko made a scrowling noise.

"This is Fuuji," she pointed to one of her friends, "and this is Raiji," she pointed to the other. "And I'm Malfoy, Focker Malfoy."

Haruko giggled, and Focker snapped.

"No need tellin who you are! A pigtailed dragon spooker girl! Dimples and red hair! You can only be a Weasley! That wizarding family with more children than food rations! HAHAHAHAHA!" She thought she was rather funny, and laughed a high, stupid laugh while Fuuji and Raiji repeated her actions lamely.

Haruko stood up angrily, and Hop Hop also squealed at Focker.

"Come on, Potter," Focker offered. "You'll soon find out that soon families are QUITE obviously BETTER than all the stupid and unstylish ones!"

"What kind of crack do think I sniff?" asked Flower. "I don't wanna be friends with you you skanky whore!"

"Grrrr! Take that back, Pothead!"

"Pothead?" asked Haruko. "Don't call the girl who lived a pothead! The only pothead here is you!"

"OHOHOH! Think you're clever, DON'T you?" asked Focker. Haruko folded her arms, waiting for Focker to continue, but Focker couldn't seem to say anything else.

"... and then?" asked Haruko.

"Uuhhhhh...." Focker thought slowly.

And then there was some sudden disturbance in the train. Everyone shook for a while, and Focker, Fuuji and Raiji were knocked out into the hall and down the rows.

"WHAT'S GOING ON!?" yelled a voice. It was Patricia Weasley.

"GOOD VIBRATIONS!" yelled Georiga and Frieda and their friend Lulu Jodrunk in reply.

"WHOEVER MENTIONED THE BEACH BOYS DIES!" yelled Patty's to-be-boyfriend, Pence Limpidwater.

"THE-CONDUCTOR-HIT-A-BUNCH-OF-CREATURES!" Tom yelled down the halls.

Haruko and Flower went to see what he'd hit. It turned out to be five baby Griffons that were running after their pray, four baby Gardner snakes, and a Partridge in a pair tree. All 10 had gotten smashed.

Tom had a pet snake, and was very worried about it's safety. The other prefects reported he had ran into an empty compartment with his snake, which they heard him call Nagini, and locked himself in there refusing to come out until they goto Hogwarts. Notably, Nagini is the Nagini in Goblet of Fire so there would be no plot device where his pet snake left and never returned.

They arrived at Hogwarts, and hopped off the train. Ruby Hagatha was there to greet everyone. She was directing the first years over to one place, and returning students to another, and the Salesmen to the left.

"Hey there Flower!" she cried.

Tom strolled up casually behind Flower and Haruko with Nagini resting on his neck. He stroked her lovingly and mentioned something about not letting the bad people get her.

Orville Wright, who had been cured of the Pig Latin Curse, got in a boat with Haruko, Ruby and Flower. Ruby had a big Jack-O-Lantern, which glowed differet colors randomly, and was waving it signalling which way to go.

When they reached Hogwarts, everyone piled out of the boats, and went upto the main gates. Ruby tapped on them quickly, and the door opened up. Stupidly enough, the young Wizards and Witches were standing behind them and they opened up from the front thus when they opened, everyone was smashed against the walls outside the Enterance Hall........ whoops.