Finding Yourself

Hello!! This is a Severitus fanfic, my first in the Harry Potter world, so enjoy......oh, and in case you were wondering, I don't own Harry Potter or any of his companions, or really anyone in the story, except for the judge and Mr. Falcon, not like you'd know about them yet....hmm...yeah. It starts out the same way as many, but becomes much more in-depth, so please read on...I promise to be interesting.

It was a bright morning in mid-July when Harry Potter awoke to the many sounds of life around him. Right outside, he would hear his enormous cousin, Dudley, tromping around the house like an elephant on the rampage. Harry swore that he could feel the house shake every time the disgustingly large boy took a step. He could also hear his Aunt Petunia shouting at Vernon to "Get the bacon!! Vernon!! The bacon!!"

Harry smirked. It served them right for beating him up and locking him in there. Now they couldn't even make breakfast! Harry rolled over and groaned. His wrist stil hurt terribly from where Dudley had whacked it early in vacation. Harry thought that it might be broken. He couldn't see it, of course, since it was pitch black in his cupboard. He'd been locked in that tiny little space for three weeks now. Every other day or so, his aunt Petunia remembered to shove some stale bread and a cup of water through this little opening for him. Harry couldn't even imagine what he must look like. His black hair, which usually would just do whatever he wanted and would stay the same length, was now growing with alarming speed. He would feel it where it nearly touched his shoulders. Harry felt his bruised, swollen left eye, which wouldn't even open anymore. The belt marks on his back made the teenager hiss with pain every time he moved. He also suspected some kind of injury to his leg, where his uncle Vernon had hit him with Dudley's Smelting Stick in the back of his knees, causing Harry to fly dangerously through the air and land on his right leg in a heap. Harry's face flushed with anger as he remembered Dudley's laughter. So now, three weeks later, he was stuck in his closet, and there was nothing he could do about it.

**

The next day, Harry was awakened at the crack of dawn by a loud banging on his door and the hateful sound of his uncle's voice.

"POTTER!!"

Harry's eye flew open as his uncle threw open the door.

"Damn it, Potter, Dudley's sick and you cursed him, didn't you?" he demanded angrily.

"No, Uncle-"

"Don't lie to me, boy!"

Uncle Vernon dragged Harry out into the living room (which was covered in pictures of Dudley, of course) and kicked him across the floor.

Petunia smirked as she walked down the stairs to find her husband attempting to beat the brains out of her terrible nephew. Harry's lip was bleeding profusely and his face was lined with cuts and bruises where Vernon had hit him. The boy looked around in terror as his uncle's belt came flying at his back in a fury, causing him to cry out in pain. With a final kick to the head, Petunia saw Harry get knocked unconscious.

**

Harry woke up in his cupboard a few hours later in complete darkness. He could no longer move, as his back felt like it was on fire, and his face was frozen in pain. He doubted that he would ever be allowed to go back to school again. Dumbledore would probably just assume that he missed the train, his friends would be worried but would probably think the same, and Snape would be fighting for all he could to get Harry expelled. Harry sighed and rolled over. Not a good idea. His entire body immediately exploded in pain, causing the teenager to yell out. He heard Dudley's unmistakable laugh through the door. Gosh, he despised that child. Dudley Dursley had made Harry's life a living hell for as long as he could remember. Harry felt anger overcome him and he yelled out once again with an intense ferocity. Then he collapsed into darkness.

**

Miles away, in a boring teachers' meeting in which half of the staff had already fallen asleep, all of the professors jumped up with a start.

"What in bloody hell was that?" demanded Snape as he rubbed his head angrily. He had felt some kind of terrible pain as he heard someone cry out in agony.

"It seems that someone is in pain," observed Minerva McGonagall.

"Why did we all hear it?" asked Professor Flitwick nervously. He seemed to be trembling as he stood at alert behind Dumbledore. The headmaster seemed lost in thought.

"I believe that our young Mr. Potter is in trouble," he said quietly. The twinkle in his blue eyes was long gone. "Severus, Minerva, come with me. I want the rest of you on alert, just in case. I don't know what's wrong. Could be nothing." He looked up at Snape and McGonagall warily. "Ready?"

"Let's go," answered Minerva. The three rushed out of the castle to the Forbidden Forest, where they apparated into the air.

**

Seconds later, the three wizards were standing just down the street from #4 Privet Drive, which looked completely normal.

At least it's not surrounded by Death Easters, thought Snape. Although he clearly despised the boy, he didn't really want to see him get killed.

Dumbledore rapped loudly on the front door, halfway expecting Harry and his family to already be gone for the day. Much to his surprise, the door was opened almost immediately by a rotund man with a scowl on his face. His eyes widened as he took in the sight before him.

"AH!" he bellowed. "I don't allow your kind in here! Get out, you filth!" he yelled, the noise bringing his wife and child to his side.

"We're looking for Harry Potter. May we see him?"

Vernon's eyes got even wider. "Never heard of him," he spat.

"Nonsense! I brought him here as a child!" said Minerva, taking out her wand. Within seconds, all three Dursleys lay in a full body bind on the floor. Dumbledore stepped over them.

"Harry?" he said loudly. There was no reply. "Severus, check upstairs. Minerva, that corridor. I'll look around here." The three wizards separated, only to converge five minutes later with no sign of the boy.

"I've looked everywhere. He isn't here, Albus," said Snape.

Suddenly, a low moan from a closet took their attention. Dumbledore's eyes flitted across the multiple padlocks holding the door in place.

"You don't think," started Minerva.

"Let's open it," answered Snape.

"Alohamora!" the three wizards shouted at once, and the padlocks fell off. Dumbledore hastily pulled open the door.

What they saw inside would put even the cruelest death eater into a state of shock. A boy that the wizards hardly recognized as Harry lay on a tiny cot, his own blood staining the mattress a deep red. His hair had grown down to his shoulders, and his face was covered in cuts and bruises. Severus noted the fact that his knees and wrist were bent at an odd angle. The boy's face was so bruised and bloodied that the wizards could hardly make out his features at all.

"Oh my god!" shouted Minerva, breaking the stunned silence that had seemed to fall the moment Dumbledore had opened the door.

Harry stirred at the noise and weakly opened one eye. He could barely make out the outlines of three people, one who seemed to be trembling.

"Harry?" whispered the man in the middle.

Harry tried to shrink back but stopped as shoots of pain seared across his back.

"Albus, he doesn't know who we are," said a male voice. Harry blinked. Albus? Albus Dumbledore?

"Lumos," a man whispered. A light appeared and Harry found himself staring at a weary-looking Albus Dumbledore, a crying Minerva McGonagall, and a very shocked-looking Snape. Harry tried to speak, only to find that his lips wouldn't move and only a rumble escaped his throat.

"Harry, it's me, Professor Dumbledore. We're getting you to Hogwarts, okay? Just hold on, Harry." Harry stared at him blankly before falling back into unconsciousness.

"I'll get him," said Snape, starting forward.

"Be careful, Severus. We don't know how bad his injuries are," warned Dumbledore quietly.

Severus Snape bent down to pick up Harry as gently as he possibly could. Harry murmured in his sleep but didn't wake as his potions master picked him up. Severus stared at him.

"Albus, I don't think he weighs.. anything. I wonder.."

Severus lifted the boy's tattered shirt and gasped. Beneath the horrible bruises and cuts that adorned his body, the three wizards could clearly see the outlines of every single rib.

"Have they been starving him?" asked Minerva, who was still crying.

"Apparently," answered Snape.

Dumbledore looked shaken. "Come on, let's get him back to Poppy. This is worse than I thought," he said. The three wizards, one carrying a very injured young man, strode quickly out of the house and, after taking the muggles out of the full body bind, apparated out of sight.

~~**~~

Harry woke a few moments later when Professor Snape stumbled after apparating. He opened his eye and looked in horror at the man carrying him.

Could it possibly be... Professor Snape??

Snape looked down at Harry, and, noting that he had woken him up, muttered, "Sorry, Potter."

The three wizards stormed into the front door of Hogwarts, finding the other professors already assembled there. Madame Pomfrey ran to Snape.

"Oh my- that isn't.."

"Yes, Poppy, it's Potter."

The other professors swarmed around the boy until Snape gave them his signature death glare. They scattered, and Poppy hurriedly directed him away.

"Come on, Severus. I'll get to work on him immediately," said Poppy hastily.

The potions professor with the once-again unconscious Boy-Who-Lived followed the medi-witch to the hospital wing.

Severus set the broken teenager down on one of the beds and helped Poppy take off the boy's shirt. Albus Dumbledore, who had been standing behind Severus, winced as he saw the extent of Harry's injuries.

"Go!" demanded Madame Pomfrey. "Leave! Get out of here!" Severus and Dumbledore backed out of the room, leaving the witch to her work.

**

Harry woke up two days later with barely a little sting on his back, some considerable pain in his knee, and his eye still swollen shut. No longer was he in his own cupboard, but in a white bed in a very large room. His bed was surrounded by white curtains.

'Am I dreaming?' he thought to himself.

Suddenly one of the white curtains was pulled back to reveal a very familiar medi-witch.

"Madame Pomfrey?" Harry asked, bewildered. OF course, all that came out was "Mmmm..." due to the fact that Harry's lip was about three times the size it should have been.

"Don't try to speak, Harry, dear. You're at Hogwarts now. You're safe. Rest, Harry. It's going to take a while for you to heal." She shoved a potion down Harry's throat and left him to his slumber.

**

Across town, from a dusty storage center, a tattered gray owl slowly slipped into the night. On its foot, it carried a heavy package that had been lying in safekeeping for fourteen years. Its contents would change everything. Everything. And while the Boy-Who-Lived slept, the final words of his dead mother were slowly, silently, carried to the air on the wings of a bird.

**

Twenty-four hours later, Harry Potter awoke to the sound of a soft cooing drifting through the air. An owl stood on his bed, looking at him curiously. It offered the parcel on its leg to the boy in greeting. Harry took the letter, and after a few more cooing noises, the old gray owl took off into the morning air.

Harry sat up stiffly, reaching for his glasses on the table next to him. Much to his surprise, the glasses were nowhere to be found.

"Madame.." he managed weakly. Fortunately, as there was no one else in the room, the witch heard him and pulled back a curtain.

"Good morning, Mr. Potter," she said, smiling.

"My.." Harry pointed to his face.

"Oh, your glasses. They weren't with you when you came in. I'll call the headmaster; perhaps he can conjure some up for you." She paused, seeing the rather large letter sitting unopened on Harry's bed. "What's that, Harry?"

He motioned toward the open window.

"Oh. Well, I'll go get Dumbledore. I'll be back, Potter." She left, giving Harry a few moment of precious consciousness to be spent wondering how he got there. What did he remember? Being accused of cursing Dudley, which was nonsense, of course. He remembered getting beaten- good grief, how could he ever forget something like that? And then he vaguely remembered waking up and seeing.. Snape?

"Harry, Harry, good to see you awake!" blundered Dumbledore, obviously happy to see him.

"'Lo," Harry murmured. The Headmaster smiled.

"Well, Harry, we don't have your glasses. I can conjure some up for you or I can just fix your eyes. It's your choice," he said.

For the first time, Harry realized that he could clearly see the Headmaster. In fact, he could clearly see everything. "Erm.."

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow. "What is it, Harry?"

"I don't need them," he attempted to say, but it came out as incoherent muttering. Madame Pomfrey and Dumbledore looked at him strangely. "I can see," he tried again. This time, Dumbledore seemed to understand.

"You can see, Harry?" Harry tried to nod his head, but, upon feeling pain shooting from the back of his head, decided against pursuing the action.

Dumbledore frowned. "Alright then, Harry. If you need anything, tell Madame Pomfrey. She'll help you. I'll be back to check on you later." With that, Dumbledore strode from the room.

Harry looked at Madame Pomfrey, who was still eyeing him strangely. He smirked at her with a scarily close impression of Snape and she snapped out of her daze. "Well, Potter, it seems that your uncle has beaten your eyesight back into you! There's a silver lining to everything, ey, Harry?"

Harry looked at her numbly and she realized her mistake. Bringing up the boy's uncle, what was her problem? Obviously, Harry had been through severe trauma. It would have been slightly intelligent to keep her mouth shut. Poppy felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment. "Sorry, Potter. I.. I didn't mean to.." resisting the urge to smack her forehead, the medi-witch said no more and hastily left the room.

Harry watched Madame Pomfrey tear out of there, though he still felt rather numb. He was completely taken aback by the feeling of resentment that was growing within him. Well, she did kind of deserve her embarrassment. Let her live with her guilt. He didn't care.

Harry shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts, and got a shock of pain in reply. Where had such thoughts come from? That was terrible. Obviously, his mind must still be reeling from Uncle Vernon's punches.

~~**~~

Harry woke up in the middle of the night to find Madame Pomfrey and Albus Dumbledore surrounding the bed next to him. They hadn't noticed him wake up. What was going on?

Just then, Dumbledore shifted his weight, and Harry could barely make out the shaking form of Professor Snape lying on the bed, Dumbledore's arms trying unsuccessfully to restrain him from movement. Harry moved so he could see what was going on, but Madame Pomfrey noticed and shoved the white curtains around his bed again.

"Sleep, Potter!" she demanded angrily, obviously miffed that someone would dare move while she was working.

Even though Harry could no longer see, years of eavesdropping experience served him well as he listened to what was going on.

"Albus, this is worse than usual," whispered the concerned voice of Madame Pomfrey.

"Voldemort must have been angry," muttered Dumbledore.

Harry sat back. Of course, he thought to himself. Snape must have gotten back from one of his Death Eater meetings. Harry shivered as he thought about what would happen if Voldemort ever found out that Snape was a spy for the good side. The dark lord didn't even know that yet, and still Snape came back with the aftereffects of the Cruciatus Curse. If he inflicted such damage on his own people, Harry couldn't imagine what he would do to his enemies.

"Albus, hold him still. I need to go get his potion. I'll be right back," assured Madame Pomfrey. Harry heard retreating footsteps as the medi-witch ran to her office.

Harry couldn't resist his drooping eyelids and soon found himself back in the perils of sleep that threatened to haunt him forevermore.

**

Harry woke again a few hours later to his own screaming and Snape sending him death glares from the next bed. Madame Pomfrey was standing over Harry with a calming potion that she had somehow gotten him to swallow, and he was slowly quieting.

"Better, Harry?" she asked. He nodded painfully and collapsed back onto the bed.

"Poppy, I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself," sneered Snape as he tried to make his escape.

"Severus, you're not well! You'll barely make it to the dungeons by yourself!" screeched Madame Pomfrey, on the verge of sheer outrage.

"I will not tolerate Potter's screaming interrupting my sleep," said Snape, pushing the witch aside. He strode out the doors, walked hastily to his chambers, and collapsed on his floor. He couldn't move.

'Perfect,' he thought. Now he wouldn't be able to get up until morning.

Realizing that he was going to be stuck on the floor for a while, Severus Snape folded his arms in a makeshift pillow and promptly fell asleep.

**

Albus Dumbledore got up the next morning and immediately went to the hospital wind to break up whatever argument that he was sure was going on between his potions master and nurse. The two didn't take very kindly to each other, after all. Bracing himself for the fight, Dumbledore opened the doors to the hospital wing, only to find Harry Potter sitting up and staring at him with two large emerald eyes.

"Good morning, Harry," he said, walking over to the boy.

Harry merely nodded in greeting.

"Might I inquire about Professor Snape, Harry?" asked Dumbledore, certain that the nurse and the wizard were off killing each other somewhere.

"I think.. he left. Last night. Don't know, really, I was asleep," Harry murmured.

Dumbledore's eyes narrowed in a frown. "Madame Pomfrey?" he asked gently.

"In her office," Harry replied.

Dumbledore nodded his thanks and went to speak to the mediwitch.

When Dumbledore was safely gone, Harry found his letter on the bedside table. He had wanted to read it earlier, but today was the first day that he felt like he was actually up to the task. Harry opened the envelope to find a yellowed piece of parchment inside. Curiosity suddenly overtook him. So this wasn't just a letter from his friends. Not like he didn't wish to speak with them, but the idea that someone else would send him a letter was exhilarating. He tenderly opened the piece of paper and looked at the neat handwriting. He glanced at the faded signature.. LILY POTTER??? Harry's eyes went wide as he gaped at the treasure in front of him. He slowly began to read, as if savoring his mother's last words.

~~*~~

Dear Harry,

If you are reading this, it probably means that I'm not here to give it to you. First of all, my son, know that I love you. I would do anything to save you from the fate that I know we all may suffer. James and I decided to write you this as kind of a last-words thing. We really don't know what to say, but we feel the need to tell you SOMETHING. Oh, and James says 'hi.'

~~*~~

Harry smiled appreciatively.

~~*~~

Harry, you are our pride and joy. Both of us thought our hearts would explode with happiness on the day that you were born. That happiness never faded away. As I look at you in your crib, only a few steps away, I feel that I might sing with joy. If we weren't in hiding, believe me, I would. But for now, it's silent down there. It must remain silent- we're running from Voldemort.

~~*~~

Harry didn't know that his heart could pound so hard. Here were his mother's last words, written all of those years ago. And he was reading them. A shiver of happiness zipped along his spine.

~~*~~

Anyway, Harry, there's only one thing that you need to know. And I dn't know how this will affect you, or if it will at all, but--James is not your father.

~~*~~

Harry's stomach dropped. WHAT? James not his father?? How could that be true?!?!?!

~~*~~

He did adopt you, though, Harry, and he loves you like only a father can. As you're reading this, I'm sure that you are having doubts. You look just like James, don't you? Believe me, I know. And I wish I weren't telling you this, Harry, but you've got to understand.

A year and a half ago, I got married to James Potter. I was already pregnant with you at the time. James and I have always been great friends, but it was always friendship, not love. I was in love with someone else.

Anyway, my boyfriend of who-knows-how-long and I had finally been pulled apart by this terrible war that has been plaguing the wizarding world these past few years. I still love him, Harry. I will always love your real father. But it is too dangerous for us to be together. Much too dangerous. For your father is off to fight in this bloody war as a spy. He'll be working under Voldemort. And, most likely, he'll die.

~~*~~

Harry gasped loudly- a SPY? He only knew of one spy, and oh, god, she couldn't mean-

~~*~~

So that's why I married James. To protect both your father and you. But James isn't your father. His name was Severus Snape.

~~*~~

Harry's mouth dropped open in horror. The later dropped to the ground, and that's when Harry passed out. Passed out, and never wanted to wake up. Wanted it to be a lie. Have it go away, make it be some kind of cruel joke. Severus Snape? His.. father?? Harry collapsed into blackness.

**

Harry woke up a few moments later. Fortunately, Madame Pomfrey hadn't checked on him, so the letter was still sitting next to him. Damn that letter. That letter killed everything that Harry had ever known. And he wasn't even done reading it.

Harry picked up the letter again, his hands trembling violently. Trying to make himself believe it was a lie. It wasn't possible, was it? NO!

~~*~~

James and I put a charm on you so you'll resemble James until your fifteenth birthday. Unfortunately, if we're not there, the charm cannot be reproduced. I'm sorry, Harry. Your appearance will change so you look like you should- and, judging by the few seconds I got to see you as yourself, you look a lot like your father. But you have my eyes. I love your eyes.

Remember that James and I love you, Harry. We'll always love you.

Your mother,

Lilly Potter

PS: There should be another note in this parcel for Severus, if he is still alive. Please give it to him, Harry. You can read it if you want. I love you!

~~*~~

Harry couldn't help his tears. He hadn't cried in a very long time, but now, it seemed only appropriate to cry. Severus Snape. He was RELATED to Severus Snape. He wondered if Snape knew...

Harry found the other letter and considered reading it, but found that he didn't want to. Didn't want to read his mother's loving words to that greasy old git. He shoved the letter back into the parcel and put it aside just as Madame Pomfrey walked in. He was still crying, lying back on the wall behind him with his arms folded across his chest. Why did Madame Pomfrey have to come in NOW?

"Harry?" Madame Pomfrey's voice squeaked as she stared in shock at her young charge. Tears were running down his face, which was red with anger.

"Harry, child, what's the matter? What's wrong?"

Harry wasn't paying attention. His entire mind was going red. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he could hear someone calling his name, but he wasn't listening. Now was not the time to listen. Now was the time to scream.

But he didn't scream. No, instead of screaming, he released a ton of energy and the windows shattered. Every single window in the hospital wing was broken, shards streaming across the room, leaving one very shocked Madame Pomfrey and a red-faced, trembling Harry Potter.

"ALBUS!!!" screamed the witch, too petrified to actually move.

The headmaster was there in seconds. Apparently, he had heard the windows break from inside his office. So did the rest of the staff who had remained there for the summer. Every teacher, with the exception of Severus Snape and Professor Trelawney, ran into the hospital wing right behind Dumbledore. Professor McGonagall caught Madame Pomfrey as she fainted. All eyes were trained on Harry.

"Harry?" Dumbledore whispered fearfully. Harry glanced at the headmaster, but his eyes weren't focused and Dumbledore doubted that he was actually in his right mind. He pointed a wand at Harry and cast a sleeping spell, but it didn't work. Instead, Harry's eyes slid into focus, and Harry realized where he was. He looked around at the shattered windows, which were carefully being replaced by Professor Sprout.

"Harry?"

The teenager turned to the concerned face of Professor McGonagall. "Harry? Are you alright?"

Harry nodded and wiped the tears from his eyes. He looked at the bedside table and saw the hated letter. At once, red started to cloud his mind again.

Dumbledore noticed the change. "Subdue him, would you, Minerva?" The headmaster walked swiftly to the table and grabbed the parcel, letter included. The teachers behind him had apparently been able to quiet Harry down, as he was now sleeping soundly.

"What did you do?" asked Dumbledore.

"I really have no idea. All of us said different things."

Dumbledore chuckled, even though it wasn't exactly a laughing matter. "Where's Poppy?"

The headmaster found her on the next bed and immediately woke her up. "Poppy?"

The nurse looked around wildly. "Albus?"

"What happened, Poppy?"

"I walked in, and he was sitting up, looking almost mad. He was crying and his face was bright red.. and it seemed like he was going to explode, or something. Then the windows all broke," explained the mediwitch.

"Do you know what was wrong with him?"

"It was like nothing I've ever seen before. It wasn't related to his injuries, I think. Maybe he was reliving what happened over the summer."

Dumbledore frowned and turned around. "Minerva, do you think you could stay here with Poppy and Harry? I don't want to leave her alone with him."

"Of course, Albus," said Minerva, a bit worriedly.

The headmaster left, walking to his office and pondering the parcel he held in his hand. He didn't recognize the handwriting, which meant that it wasn't from Ron or Hermione. The two had sent him so many owls that Dumbledore could pick out their handwriting anywhere.

Albus sat down in his office, not paying attention to the paintings, which seemed to be grumbling incessantly. He opened the parcel and picked up the open letter. Part of him felt guilty for reading Harry's mail, but he needed to know what had sparked such a reaction. Reconciling himself to his decision, Albus Dumbledore avidly read the letter.

**

Thirty minutes later, after reading and rereading Lily's letter about fifteen times, Dumbledore could scarcely find the energy to breathe. How was this possible? He hadn't had any idea, and he knew everything that happened in his school. Everything!

Suddenly he understood the massive frustration and anger that Harry had been feeling only minutes before. If he had been Harry, he would have been really ticked off as well. Dumbledore sighed. He needed to give Harry back his mail. He would leave it to the boy as to whether of not he would give Severus his letter. Albus swore to keep his mouth shut. Now one else could know about this. No one else COULD know about this.

~~**~~

When Albus Dumbledore went back down to the hospital wind, he was surprised to find Harry wide awake. Although he was ignoring Minerva and Poppy, he looked to be in his right mind. Dumbledore walked up to Harry's bed.

"Minerva, Poppy, do you mind if I have a private word with Mr. Potter?"

The two women were only too happy to oblige.

Dumbledore sat on the edge of Harry's bed and took out the parcel. Harry's eyed flashed with anger as he snatched it from Dumbledore's outstretched hand. He looked inside the envelope, and, seeming satisfied, stared back at the Headmaster.

"You read it," Harry accused.

Dumbledore nodded. "I'm sorry, Harry. I didn't want to read your mail, but I needed to know what made you do all of this," he said, gesturing toward the now-back-in-place windows.

"Were you happy with what you found?" Harry's tone was icy.

"It's not the end of the world. I'm not going to tell anyone, and neither do you, if you don't want to," said Dumbledore as soothingly as he could.

Harry's eyebrows arched. "You won't tell Snape?"

"PROFESSOR Snape," was Dumbledore's automatic reply.

"You won't tell PROFESSOR Snape?" asked Harry, overemphasizing the 'professor.'

"No, I won't, Harry. But I do suggest that you give him his letter. Your mother wished it."

Dumbledore knew he was using Harry's love and respect for his mother to bribe him into talking to Snape, and Harry knew it, too. But that didn't mean that the suggestion didn't work.

"I'll give him the letter. But don't ask for anything else," Harry said stonily.

Dumbledore smiled at him. "Make sure you stay calm, Harry. No more broken windows, okay?"

Harry smirked as Dumbledore stood up and left the room.

**

It had been two weeks since the owl arrived on Harry's bed, and now he was walking on crutches around the hospital wind. For some reason, none of the spells that Madame Pomfrey knew had worked on Harry's knee, so it was healing the Muggle way- slowly. Secretly, Harry liked the crutches, even though they hurt his arms. Maybe he would get some muscle out of this mess, anyway.

Fortunately, Harry hadn't seen Snape since the man had stormed out due to Harry's nightmares. Harry wasn't sure what he would do if he saw the man again. The back of his mind told him that he would be seeing Snape for classes, but somehow, he held onto the hope that maybe his potions professor would disappear in a big ball of flames before that happened. Not very likely, of course. But he was still hopeful.

Harry still had yet to give the letter to Snape. He wanted to hand it to him the man himself, to be there and see the horrified expression on his face as he learned the awful truth. Harry would laugh.

Or maybe he would be too terrified to do anything but stand there. Yeah. That was more like it.

**

Harry got up early the next morning and practiced with his crutches. He was going to do it today. He was going to crutch down to Snape's dungeons and give him Lily's letter.

"Madame Pomfrey?"

"Yes, Harry?"

"I.. I need to go deliver something."

"Oh, I'll do it for you. Don't worry, dear," Madame Pomfrey said cheerfully.

"No, no, I need to deliver this. I'll be back soon," he said, crutching out and leaving a startled Madame Pomfrey in his wake.

"But Harry, you CAN'T lave yet! You're not strong enough!"

Harry turned around. "I AM strong enough," he said coolly, "and I'll be right back. Don't worry."

With an agile turn of his crutches, the injured boy hobbled out of the room with an envelope in hand. Truthfully, he didn't care if it hurt to move. He had to get the letter to Snape. It was the most important thing at the moment.

**

Thirty-four minutes, two falls and three staircases later, Harry found himself in front of Snape's dungeons. He paused, leaning heavily on the wall to relieve the pressure on his arms. He opened the door to the potions classroom carefully and stepped in. Snape was sitting behind his desk, angrily writing something with a red marker. He looked rather smug.

Harry gulped and crutched in slowly. Snape hadn't noticed him. Perhaps he would get a good laugh, after all.

Harry cleared his throat, and got the satisfaction of watching Snape jump about ten feet in the air.

"POTTER!!"

"Hello, Professor," Harry said calmly.

Snape breathed loudly, slowly regaining his composure. "Ten points from Gryffindor for sneaking up on a teacher!" he bellowed.

Harry smirked. "It's summer holidays, Professor. You can't take points off."

Snape cursed the boy under his breath. "What is it that you want, Potter?" he growled in a low, deadly voice.

"I have a letter for you, sir," Harry said, crutching forward slowly. He leaned on Snape's desk and pulled out an envelope. Snape stared at him with a smirk.

"So, Potter, the famous Boy-Who-Lived finally meets his downfall at the hands of Muggles. Who would have thought?" he hissed icily.

Harry ignored him and handed him the letter. Snape's eyes widened when he saw the handwriting. Was it possible?

~~*~~

Dearest Severus,

Hello, my love. If you are reading this, you're alive and I am dead. Know that I loved you until the very end. I would never betray you, even though I'm sure that you think I did. You and I decided together that to keep all of us safe, this had to happen. God, I didn't want it to. I nearly died when I had to let you go, when you left as a spy and I went to James.

~~*~~

Snape suddenly became aware of a fourteen-year-old boy watching him curiously.

"Did you read this?" Snape demanded in his cruelest voice.

"No. I had my own letter. Although she did say I could read yours if I wanted," answered Harry. Snape glared at him.

~~*~~

Severus, there's something you really need to know that I only wish I could tell you in person. Since you're gone, and James, Harry, and I are in hiding, that's not really possible.

~~*~~

Snape sighed, drawing an odd look from Harry.

~~*~~

There's no way that this can possibly be easy for you. There's no way for me to say this easily, so here it is, bluntly.

James isn't Harry's father. You are.

~~*~~

Snape gasped, jumping up and backing away from the letter as if it were the most deadly thing in the world. He fixed his startled glare on Harry.

"POTTER?!?! GET OUT OF HERE!"

Harry nodded and hobbled out as quickly as he could. Snape stared after the boy in horror. Was this some kind of cruel joke? No, no, the handwriting was definitely Lily's. Maybe she was wrong. She had to be wrong- it just couldn't be true. Potter was a dead ringer for James. She'd made a mistake.

With shaking hands, he picked up the letter again.

~~*~~

Severus, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry that I never got to tell you. I'm sorry that you didn't know, that any of this had to happen at all. Not that we had a child, because Harry is my world. You and I always talked about getting married and having children. I know that this isn't exactly the way we had it planned, but hey, it'll work.

~~*~~

"Damn you, Lily," Snape muttered.

~~*~~

I'm not sure if you even know who Harry is. I don't know if he'll even be alive when you read this. I hope that he is, but things are getting worse- you know that. I just have this feeling..

~~*~~

Snape struggled to keep his composure. Here were his beautiful Lily's last words, last memoirs- she was in hiding, and soon, she would die. He knew that. Knew what was to become of her after she wrote this letter. That knowledge forced a tight feeling to settle in his throat.

~~*~~

Anyway, Severus, if you know Harry, and he's alive, he probably looks just like James.

~~*~~

"Damn right he does," said Severus angrily.

~~*~~

We cast a spell on him that took all of your features and made them into James's features. He has my eyes and nose, though. However, when he turns fifteen, the spell will begin to wear off. It may even begin to wear off before his birthday. He's going to have a LOT of questions.

I don't expect you to know the answers, but please try, Sev. Please try. I know that this will be hard for you, Severus. But please, please, help him. I wrote him a letter, too- he knows as well.

~~*~~

"LILY!!" Snape yelled out in horror. Stupid, stupid woman! Potter couldn't know! He couldn't know! How in the world could Lily tell him? How could she do this to him??

~~*~~

Sorry, Sev.

~~*~~

"You better be," he sneered.

~~*~~

Sev, I have to go. We have to leave, we can't stay here anymore. I only hope that someday you'll be able to accept what I've told you. I love you, Severus. I've never stopped loving you. Know that I never will.

Love forever and always,

Lilly

~~*~~

"NO!!" he cried, throwing Lily's letter to the ground and pacing his dungeons in a fury.

"This isn't possible!" he yelled again, his rage building until he thought he might explode. He picked up the letter and read it again. Every word confirmed what he was beginning to think of as true. Snape was beyond words. He was beyond recognition. The cold-hearted professor had been completely broken apart by a tiny little letter. And that scared him. A lot.

**

Twenty minutes later, a very lost-looking Severus Snape stumbled into the headmaster's office.

"Hello, Severus," said Albus Dumbledore, taking in the broken expression on the younger wizard's face.

Snape didn't reply. He sat down across from Dumbledore, face white as a sheet, and handed him the letter. After a moment, Albus handed it back with no emotion on his face. When Snape looked up at him, that maddening twinkle was going like crazy in the Headmaster's eyes.

"Well?" Snape demanded, not able to be quiet any longer.

"The charm is already wearing off, if you haven't noticed, Severus."

"Is that all you have to say?" Snape asked, his black eyes flaring up in anger.

"Severus, I know you're upset.."

"That's the understatement of a lifetime," spat Snape sarcastically.

Dumbledore gave him a look.

"God, Albus, what am I going to do? What does this mean?" Snape wailed despairingly, his cold mask suddenly disappearing. Dumbledore stood up, walked around to Severus, and put his hands on the younger man's shoulders.

"Relax, Severus. Calm down. You've had a bit of a shock today."

"I can't believe she went and told Potter. He knows, you know. Blasted woman told him," Snape muttered.

"And he was just as shocked as you," Dumbledore said soothingly, getting a rise out of Snape.

"You knew about this?"

"Only for a couple of weeks, Severus," said Dumbledore.

"Potter told you?"

"Of course not. He had a panic attack and blew out all of the windows in the hospital wing. I had to take the letter away from him before he went crazy."

Severus snorted at this, and traces of a smile began to form on his lips. "So he was just as distraught as I am," said Snape quietly. Albus smiled and went to sit down again. He sat across from Severus and stared into his black eyes.

"Even more so," returned the headmaster.

"He can't be my son," said Snape, averting his friend's eyes.

"You know that it's true, Severus. Look at him. Have you seen him at all since he came here?"

"Only just now, when he came to the dungeons to give me that bloody letter."

Surprise showed on Dumbledore's face. "He delivered the letter to you?"

"That's what I said," snarled Snape.

Dumbledore chuckled. "He must have escaped from Poppy. She would never have let him out of her sight."

Snape murmured in agreement.

"But really, Severus, he'll be fifteen on the thirty-first. If the spell is already wearing off, it could be completely gone in a few weeks."

"We'll have to disguise him, then," said Snape.

"Why?"

"I should think that would be obvious, Albus. Even you can't be that daft. I'm still a death eater, remember? I'm still a spy. Both his safety and my own are in even more danger than usual if Voldemort were to find out. Which he would, mind you. What, all of the sudden the famous Harry Potter changes and begins to look like ME? People would figure it out. MY house would take one look at the boy and go owling home to their parents. We have to hide him. God, Albus, Voldemort would kill me! And then where would we be?" said Severus.

Albus nodded, his eyebrows furrowed in deep thought. "You're right, Severus. Of course you're right."

Snape breathed a sigh of relief.

"We could just cast obliviate on him and he would forget this whole mess," offered Snape.

Dumbledore glared at him. "If we're going to have to put charms on him, Severus, we certainly can't obliviate his memory."

Snape growled, even though he knew his friend was right. He paused and looked lost for a moment. "How could this have happened, Albus?" he rested his head in his hands as he tried to search for the answer.

Dumbledore's eyes softened. "Nobody has to know, Severus. Only the three of us are aware of this new information."

"That's one person too many."

"It's Harry's right to know. Just like it was your right to know. I'm sure Lily had her reasons."

"Or maybe she just wasn't thinking," countered Snape.

"That's entirely possible."

Severus Snape sighed. "I need to go walk," he said, standing up. Dumbledore nodded as Severus walked out of the room.

"Take care, Severus."

"Goodbye, Albus."

~~**~~