Tutoring A Dragon

The Holy Grail and an Almost Beat Down

When Hermione got out of Defense Against the Dark Arts, it was noon. She sighed, hoisted her bag over her shoulder and trudged off to the Great Hall.

Harry and Ron were still too shocked about her sudden break-up with Draco. They didn't get it, they said. One day it was going fine and strong and then, poof! It's over!

She didn't offer another explanation. She figured she'd wait to tell them at least until Christmas, maybe longer.

Entering the Great Hall, she caught Ewan eye, and smiled at him. He smiled back at her, but made no move to come over. Sadly, she went to sit in between Parvati and Lavender, the only people who currently made sense, however scary that was.

"Hey," she said. And she was suddenly accosted by questions.

"Okay," said Parvati. "I've worked it all out. We're having an all-House sixth and seventh year Girl's Night tonight in Ron and Padma's rooms."

"Where's Ron going?" asked Hermione.

Parvati dismissed Ron with a wave of her hand. "He's going to stay with Ernie MacMillian, because Pansy's coming to stay with us, so he'll have extra room."

"That is," interjected Lavender, "if they can pry themselves away from each other long enough." She nodded, smirking, at Ernie and Pansy, who were sitting across from another at their separate tables, but managed to hold hands all the same.

"True," said Parvati. "All right, we've got twenty girls coming. Including Padma, Lavender, Ginny, Pansy, Millicent Bulstrode, Susan Bones, Lacy Jenkins, and a first year exception, Elisha Rose-Wilde."

"Oh, you're including El?" asked Hermione happily.

Parvati looked at her scandalized. "Of course! She stands to take over Lavender and my positions as the School's Official correspondents!"

Hermione's jaw dropped. "You mean, all the gossip from all these years has been your job?"

"Great, isn't it?" said Lavender, smugly. "We get paid, too, ten Galleons a week."

"Ten Galleons a week!" exclaimed a shocked Hermione. "That's-that's 400 Galleons a year!"

"Yes," said Parvati, munching on a piece of pound cake, "and we've been doing it since first year, too!"

"You mean," said Hermione, Galleons flashing in her eyes, "that you've made 2400 Galleons since first year alone?"

"Each," said Lavender smartly. "Not counting what we make from submitting articles to The Daily Prophet."

"What kind of articles?" asked Hermione, a bit suspicious.

"Fashion. You know, what the hip girls and guys are wearing in their down time at the bit HG."

"What in the world to you do with all of the money?"

"Well, we invested some into the Wizard's stock market and made at least ten thousand back," said Parvati, twirling a piece of her hair around her finger, while looking at Terry Boot, who gulped.

Hermione gaped at them again.

"And we've been saving most of it, since we want to open a boutique in Diagon Alley once we've graduated. We've been getting request to feature clothes from this new up-and-coming designer, Narcissa M, but we're going to have to see some samples of her line first," said Lavender.

"I have some of her clothes," remarked Hermione. "You were at the party last night, weren't you?"

"Yes," they both said.

"Well, the clothes I was wearing were by her. She and I are like this!" said Hermione, crossing her fingers.

~*~

They talked about clothes for a few more minutes until an owl swooped down and dropped a letter onto Hermione's plate.

Dear Hermione, it read.

Since I've been told I'm to stay away from you, I had to write you a letter. I'm really sorry we couldn't get to know each other more. I thought maybe we could've been friends. Now, don't worry, it wasn't Harry or Ron who told me to stay away, it was some one else. But, he never told me I couldn't write to you, so we could correspond by letter, but only if you want to.

Yours,

Ewan McAlpin

She folded the letter up again and looked across the room at Draco, who was watching her. She glared at him, and flipped him off. Then, she stood up and walked over to Ewan's chair.

"Hey, er, Ewan," she said.

He looked up and smiled. "Hey."

"Would you, erm, like to go to the Three Broomsticks with me on Thursday?" They had a Hogsmeade day on Thursday just so that everyone had a chance to get a last-minute item for the ball.

"Yeah, I'd love to," he replied.

"Ok, I'll meet you in the Entrance Hall then?"

"Yeah, how about at ten?"

"Sure."

"See you."

"See you," replied Hermione, walking back to her seat.

~*~

Hermione sat back down in her seat and looked, wide-eyed, at Parvati, who was smiling approvingly.

"I cannot believe I just did that," she said.

"Well done, m'dear," said Lavender 'Flavor-of-the-week' Brown. "The first step to recovering is moving on." She turned her head slightly, eyeing Ewan up. "And I'd say you've got yourself a great rebound/moving on guy, if I do say so myself."

Hermione's head, which now lived cupped in her hands, came up out of its cave a little. "Really?" she asked.

"Really," said Parvati, patting her shoulder. "Anyway, back to the planning. For foods, what do you think about an arrangement of pizzas, followed by many, many, many boxes of Cadbury chocolate bars?"

Hermione's unfocused look came back. "Mmm... Cadbury's..." she said.

Parvati checked something off a piece of parchment. "I'll take that for a 'Yes, please!'," she said to Lavender, who nodded. She snapped her fingers in front of Hermione's face, who jumped. "Ok, so for movies, I was thinking 'Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail', what do you think?"

Hermione grinned. "I love Monty Python," she said. "They're so bloody funny!"

"Yeah, me too," said Parvati.

~*~

They planned the rest of the party out, and went their separate ways for the inconvenience that was school.

As soon as classes were over, Hermione ran back to her common room and almost managed to make it to her stairwell, when Draco called after her.

"'Mione, we need to talk," he said, from by the fireplace.

"No, I don't think we do, Malfoy," she said back, not looking at him. If she looked at him, she'd remember things about and... never mind. She wasn't going to think about that. "Anyway, I'm not going to be here tonight, as there is a Girls' Night. I believe that the Boys will be hanging at Pansy and Ernie's, just so that you know." And she ducked under the tapestry, ignoring his voice as it called her back to him.

~*~

Up in her room, Hermione pulled out an old parachute kit bag she'd gotten in a thrift store. It was American, and presumably they'd sold it when it became a bit too ratty.

She was packing for the night when she heard a popping sound from her fireplace. Walking over, she saw a person that looked remarkably like a telemarketer in her fireplace.

"Narcissa Black-Malfoy for Hermione Granger, c/o Hogwarts School; will you accept the charges?" said the nasal voice of the telemarketer woman who must be the operator.

"Erm, what is this?" asked Hermione, who really didn't know what was going on.

The woman looked over her half-rimmed librarian's glasses and frowned. "Collect Floo-call, don't you know what they are?" Hermione shook her head. "Muggleborns," muttered the operator. "Well, do you accept the charges or not?"

"Yes," said Hermione.

"Transferring your call," came the extremely nasal response. The clicking of a couple of buttons came through the connection, and Narcissa's face came up in the fireplace.

"Hermione Granger! Why in the world did you break up with my son?" said the outraged voice of Narcissa Black-Malfoy.

"You know, Narcissa," said Hermione, as she was grabbing the clothes that Narcissa had given her, "I don't want to talk about it right now. And here are your clothes back. End call."

~*~

As she walked past Draco in the common room, she commented casually, "I see you sicked your mom on me."

Draco started. "What? No, I told mum we broke up, but I didn't tell her to do anything, well, untoward, if that's what you mean."

Hermione raised an eyebrow. "So, your mum just collect floo's me and tries to chew me out on her own?"

"I guess. Mum can be a bit... protective," he said lamely.

"Really," Hermione said sarcastically. "I hadn't noticed. Well, she just floo'ed me, yelling at me for breaking it off with you. So, if you don't floo her and tell her what really happened, I'm going to burn your butt off tomorrow morning. Night, Malfoy."

Hermione stepped out of the portrait, leaving behind a very confused Draco Malfoy behind her.

~*~

Hermione stepped up to Padma's digs and said the password. "Girls rule and Boys drool." And the mermaid in the portrait, who was giggling and flirting with a merman portrait across the way, swung open.

Hermione came in to be assaulted by cries of "Ni!"

"What in the world?" she said through the laughter.

Parvati made her way over to Hermione. "Oh, it's just a line from that movie. We just watched a bit, but we can restart it if you'd like."

"Yes, please!" cried Hermione.

~*~

So, they watched Monty Python and the Quest for the Holy Grail.

By the time they got to the Black Knight, everyone was laughing.

"Come back here! I'll bite your legs off!" they yelled at the TV, laughing heartily.

Parvati, through hook and crook had managed to get permission to use a Muggle TV and DVD player for the night. So, she'd Owled her mum for a couple of funny movies to watch.

~*~

Meanwhile, the guys were over at Ernie's, wringing their hands and pacing.

"Oh, dear. Oh dear, oh dear oh dear," said Harry. "Ginny's going to talk about our 'relationship' and they're going to make a joint decision to dump me! They're going to ruin me!"

"What about me?" asked Ron, also pacing. "My girlfriend's a twin! Her sister's there! They could do one of those 'can you tell us apart?' plans, and she'd break up with me if I made one mistake!"

"Hah!" said Draco, who was accepted once he'd told the truth. They didn't blame him; after all they were guys, an inferior species. "Hermione's in there where they're supporting her decision to break it off with me! And they're encouraging her relationship with that-that-that sissy-waisted pansy wanker!"

"And what about me?" said Ernie. "My girl's in there, probably telling everyone what we've done and every intricate detail!"

"Have you... you know?" asked Terry Boot.

Ernie turned crimson. "No. We decided to wait if--or until--we get married. But my former girlfriend's in there and she might try to sabotage this for me!"

"Who your former?" asked Harry.

Ernie turned scarlet. "Well, she's a first year..."

"Whoa man, you don't date firsties!" said Justin Finch-Fetchley. "It's like, disgusting."

Ernie blushed harder, if that was possible. "Well, we went out in the summer, for about a week. So, she wasn't really a first year."

"But, still!" exclaimed the honor-bound Justin. "It's not good, man."

"She didn't tell me she was eleven!" defended Ernie. "I thought she was older. She looks much older, trust me. Or, at least, she did in the summer. I think she doesn't because I know how old she is."

"And her parents just let you take her out?" said Terry incredulously.

Ernie shrugged. "Her mom doesn't care much. Neither does her stepfather. Or her stepbrother, for that matter..."

"Who is it?" asked Ron.

"Elisha Rose-Wilde," said Ernie.

"Wait a moment," said Jon Hopkins, who was on the other side of the room. "I could swear you just said Elisha Rose-Wilde. Did you?"

"Yeah," said Ernie slowly.

"Well, then," said Jon. "What the hell were you doing with my little sister?! You perv!" he yelled, then calmed. "I hope you enjoyed your life," he said, advancing on Ernie, "because it's about to end."

"She's your sister?" asked Terry, distracting Jon.

"Yeah. Mum and Dad divorced when she was, like, two. We haven't seen each other or our opposite parents since then. I lived with Dad in Ireland, and she lives in Bath with Mum." At the mention of his mum, he spat into the fireplace. "Awful, greedy, self-obsessed rabbit woman," he growled. "She took El from me."

~*~

"So," Hermione said. "Let me get this straight. Your brother is Jon Hopkins? The Jon Hopkins? The Jon Hopkins that most girls, except myself of course, drool over? The Jon Hopkins that is so drop-dead sexy, that when he handed a book back to a girl who had genuinely dropped it, she fainted?"

"Yep," said Ellie smugly. "The one and same. Except we haven't seen or heard from another since I was two and he was eight. Mum didn't want him, because she hates boys. So, she took me to Bath, 'way from Da and Jon."

"I'm so sorry," said Hermione. She looked into the crowd of girls, who were wiping away tiny tears and motioned them closer. "Group hug!" she shouted, and they all dived onto Ellie.