Draco's Diary

Dear Diary,

Well, as I said yesterday I lost my hairspray. Much anger and disarray with this. I have a feeling one of the girls took it. They must be jealous after all. Who else has hair that doesn't move? At all. Nobody.

I have successfullyncluded that all the Slytherin girls and most of the Ravenclaw girls are smitten over me. Well, there are a few issues about this though. I only have most of the Ravenclaw girls because of the incident in Herbology second year where I teased the mandrake and that one blonde girl freaked out and starting screaming about how I don't appreciate nature. Well I showed her diary, I turned her nose into a beetroot. How much more of nature do you expect from

me?

Another issue about the girls in Slytherin is that I'm not really sure who are girls and who are guys. And Draco Malfoy is not gay. I swear. Well there was that one incident...oh never mind. It's written in here earlier, no need bringing up painful memories. Anyhow. Well there is a person, Blaise that is kind of a mystery as to what sex he? She? ...It is. So ...it is not smitten over me to my knowledge. I have tried to solve this important mystery, but I couldn't. For you see, Blaise sleeps in the male dormitory but can easily walk into the female dorms where as, other males can't. Damn cursed stairs!

So, I owled father this morning asking him if he knew but his response just added to the confusion. This is a copy of his letter:

Draco,

I regret to inform you that I do not have an answer to

your important question. For I know how important it is for a

Malfoy to have all available girls smitten to them. But, more

to the point; your mother and I cannot even tell which is the

mother or father out of that Blaise's parents. It is quite ont>

irking if you ask me. Especially when I want to go for drinks

with the father figure, and I cannot tell which one is the

father figure. Well, I am sorry for not helping you but I must

return to combing my hair now. I hate to inform you that I have

lost my favorite bow. There was crying, but I am over it. I

conjured up another one.

Your Father,

Lucius Malfoy

Okay, so apart from the bow and hair part of the letter, it was quite pointless. Wait, I take that back. The whole thing was pointless. What do I care about his bow for? Though it was quite

stylish if I do say so myself. And I do say so myself.

So diary, I shall update you on this puzzling situation further tomorrow, or at a later date. In other news though, I got Potter to snare in Potions and that caused him to get yet another detention. Oh how I love tormenting Potter! Oh, and that shadow of his, Weasley almost said something funny today, almost. He said Collin Creevey ( that crazy kid with the camera I have written about before ) should get another hobby and stop stalking guys. I almost laughed but then Weasley walked into the doorway he was trying to walk through, so I seized the opportunity to make fun of him. Well you don't expect

me to pass that up do you? No, I didn't think so.

Deviously Stylish and Sexy and Awesome and Gorgeous and Lovable and Cute and

Cunning and Sly and Fashionable and the Best Guy in the Universe,

Draco Malfoy