Sweet Deception

CHAPTER ONE: Fred and George's New Scheme

"There we go," said Fred. "I think I'm done." He held up a jelly bean and smiled at his success.

"What do you mean 'you think you're done'?" asked George, surprised. He took the bean.

"Look, I think I'm finished."

"No you're not! You're far from it!" George threw the bean back at Fred and looked down.

Hermione walked in and saw Fred and George's cauldrons, vials, and everything else they used for their joke-making.

"What are you two up to?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow. She had a bad feeling, but she quickly shoved it aside.

Fred and George turned, saw it was Hermione, and scrambled around, trying to hide their things.

"N-Nothing at all," said Fred, nervous. He knew that if he told Hermione about it, she would turn them in.

"Yeah, can't we hang around down here in the dungeons?" asked George.

Hermione looked at them. "No, you can't. You hate the dungeons."

"Well, who says that we can't like them now?" asked George.

"Yeah," said Fred, "we've decided that we need to be more open with our horizons."

"What's that supposed to mean?" asked Hermione impatiently.

"It means we've decided to explore around the castle more," said Fred innocently.

Hermione shook her head. "Whatever," she said. "What are you two making this time?"

"A love bean," said Fred.

George hit him. "You weren't supposed to say anything!" He resisted the urge to hit him again when Hermione broke into his thoughts.

"A love bean?" asked Hermione, confused.

"Yeah," said George. "Since Fred already ruined it, ask him about it."

"The love bean is designed to make you fall in love with anyone that crosses your path," said Fred. "We're working on making it just the person's gender, though." He looked disgusted at the thought of girls and girls and guys and guys, but he just frowned and shrugged.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "You two come up with some of the weirdest things! How do you expect people to fall in love with everyone else?"

Fred held up a bean. "Try it. You'll see."

Hermione took the bean. "You two are weird." She put the bean in her mouth and swallowed. The bean was tasteless, and that was shocking to her because it looked really sweet and like...well, like a normal jelly bean. There was a pause.

"Well?" asked George. "Anything happen?"

"No, you silly goose!" said Hermione. "But..." She looked at George more closely. "George," she said, "you never told me you were so handsome." She was thinking about this, knowing it was wrong and disgusting, yet she couldn't fight the fact that she was attracted to him.

Fred stepped in front of George. "OK, Hermione, don't fall in love with the creators of the bean."

Hermione stepped up to him. "Fred," she said calmly. "Kiss me!"

"WHAT?!" said Fred, quite taken aback. He was a little afraid of this side of Hermione, and quickly felt bad about giving her a bean.

"You heard me, you fool!" said Hermione. "Kiss me!"

And with that, she grabbed Fred and locked her lips to his. The kiss lasted a while, and it was quite wet, and George just stood there with his mouth open. Fred, however, felt rather passionate about it.

"Hermione!" said George. He took a bean. "This better work." A couple of seconds later, he said, "Hermione, how could you?"

"What?" said Hermione, confused.

"That should've been my kiss!" He walked up to her and grabbed her and started to kiss her. When they were done, George looked at Fred. "Fred," he said in a sexy voice. "You never told me..." Inside, he knew that was absolutely disgusting, but like Hermione, he couldn't stop himself.

"OK, shut up," said Fred. "You're done. George, we could make money off of these. Think of the profits!"

"But, Fred, darling," said George. "We could have SO much more fun than just money."

Fred looked at him in horror. "OK, this conversation is officially over!"

"OK, OK," said George. "You know, the effect wears off after a bit. You aren't sexy anymore." He thought about his recent actions and shuddered.

"We're going to need to fix that," said Fred. He looked at Hermione. She looked upset. "What's the matter, Hermione?"

She looked at him. "I can't believe I kissed you!" she said. Then she looked at George. "I can't believe I kissed you either! Yuck!" She as well thought of her actions and felt like she was going to be sick.

On her last note, she ran out of the dungeons and left Fred and George by themselves.

"All right," said Fred. "Let's work on the after-effects."

* * * * *

Hermione ran through the portrait hole and looked for either Harry or Ron. She was afraid to tell Ron, but she felt that it might be better.

"What's the matter?" came the voice of Ginny behind her.

"Oh," said Hermione, shocked. "N-Nothing. I'm perfectly...peachy." She was afraid of Ginny as well, and she didn't think she would be.

"Peachy?" asked Ginny, raising an eyebrow. "You seem to have expanded your vocabulary recently."

"Y-Yes, I-I've decided t-to...erm...oh fine! I kissed your brothers."

"ALL SIX OF THEM?" shouted Ginny, backing up.

"NO!" said Hermione, shocked. "Fred and George." Her heart beat faster as she was afraid of Ginny's response.

Ginny gave her a death glare. "What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing!" said Hermione. "I didn't mean to! They put a spell on me!" She felt very frightened now and started to back up slowly.

"What's wrong with them?"

"Hey!" said Hermione, getting a little angry. "Watch who you're calling ugly!" She stepped back forward.

Ginny shuddered. "Not that I care or anything, but...um...how were they?"

Hermione looked absolutely revolted. "What did you just say to me?" She furrowed her brow.

"I asked how they were. Penelope told me George was pretty good, but she never got around to Fred."

"Penelope? I thought that was Percy's girlfriend."

"She got tired of him mid-relationship. He still doesn't know, so I'd keep that under wraps if I were you. Which, at this moment more than any other, I am proud that I am not."

"Whatever," said Hermione. "I'm going to go to bed." Hermione walked up the stairs, but stopped halfway and turned. "Yes," she said. "They are good. Very recommended." She smiled to herself and went up the stairs.

* * * * *

Harry and Ron piled through the door an hour later, laughing.

"Did you see the look on Snape's face?" asked Ron. "He never would've believe the potion would actually have made him naked!" He contorted his face into his best mock-impression.

"I know!" said Harry. "But, mind you, I didn't really like the show...except for his face." He laughed at Ron's interpretation.

Ron laughed. "That was priceless! Fred and George come up with the weirdest things."

"I know," said Harry. "Come on, let's get to bed. We have to tell Neville, Dean, and Seamus all about that."

"OK. I still can't believe Snape. That was funny."

"It was."

They entered their dormitory.

"Neville, Seamus, Dean!" said Ron excitedly. "Harry and I just did the weirdest thing ever!"

"What?" asked Neville.

"We were down in the dungeons, and Fred and George had given us a potion -- ingredients of rabbit eye, snake tail, and dragon scale -- and we used it on Snape and he lost his robes." He laughed at the thought again.

"What?" asked Seamus. "That's completely barbaric!" He looked at Ron and Harry as if there were something he needed to know about them.

"It was blinding, believe me," said Harry. "But it was still funny! You should've seen the look on his face!"

"That seems funny," said Dean, "but not necessarily something that I would want to picture."

"It wasn't the best sight either," said Harry.

"What are you talking about?" asked Ron. "He had nothing to show!"

Neville laughed and Seamus through a pillow at him. Harry and Ron got undressed and went to bed.

* * * * *

The next morning at breakfast, there seemed to be an awkward silence coming from Hermione. She stared down at her plate and moved the food around it, looking as if she didn't even care.

"Hermione," said Ron. "What's up?"

"Hmm?" asked Hermione. "Oh, nothing. I was just...thinking."

"About what?" asked Harry.

"The um...the Potions exam."

Harry and Ron smiled.

"I'm never going to think of potions in the same way," said Ron.

Hermione looked at them. "What are you talking about?"

Harry smiled. "Nothing. Just a potion that Fred and George told us about."

Hermione shuddered. "Don't ever talk about Fred and George in front of me again," she said, turning an odd shade of red. She looked farther down and stopped moving her food around.

"Why not?" asked Ron. "What potion did they put on you?" He leaned in, raising an eyebrow and smiling. "Did they make you naked?"

Hermione slapped him. "No!" She rolled her eyes. "Ron, you have serious mental issues that I think you need to work out! Now I'm not going to tell you why you can't talk about them!"

Ron sighed. "Man! You always keep your mouth shut at the wrong times!"

Hermione slapped him again. "You are such a jerk!"

And on that note, she stood up and walked out of the Great Hall.

"Ron," said Harry. "You're a dinglebat."

He got up and left for Hermione.

Ron shrugged, looking confused. "What did I do?"

* * * * *

Transfiguration was the first class of the day. Today they were turning corn into jelly beans. Hermione looked particularly disgusted with the assignment.

"What is wrong with you?" asked Harry. "You all of a sudden have an obsession of avoiding Fred, George, and..." He looked down. "...jelly beans?"

"OK, if I tell you, do you promise not to tell Ron? Or anyone else for that matter?"

"Yes, of course." The look in her eyes told him she was serious about this.

"Well, Fred and -- "

"OK, class," said McGonagall. "I see that most of you are doing particularly well, so I'm going to say that you guys can pack up for the day. Do not leave the classroom or you will find yourself in Dumbledore's office before you can say 'I took a magic jelly bean and it made me fall in love with the door.' For one, that wouldn't be an excuse anyway, and two, don't even try my patience."

The class began packing up their things and Harry leaned in close to Hermione, wanting to know. Ron came up behind them right as Hermione opened her mouth, and she quickly shut it again.

"I can't believe McGonagall!" he said. "It makes me so angry that she made me sit all the way on the other side of the room!"

"Ron," said Harry. "You are the biggest moron that ever walked these grounds. Actually, make that the biggest moron who ever stepped foot on this earth."

With that, Harry walked away, leaving Ron confused again, but at least this time he was with Hermione.

"What did I do this time?" he asked.

"Oh, Ron!" said Hermione. "Don't you ever learn? Harry and I were apparently trying to talk about something, and you, as usual, had to come over and ruin everything! I just don't know when you'll learn, Ron, but I hope it's one day soon because what I had to tell Harry was really important and you -- you couldn't know! You just can't know! It's too dreadful, Ron, and you'll kill me, I know it!" She looked at him, hoping beyond hope that he wouldn't press the situation.

"What happened, Hermione? If you can tell Harry, you can tell me! It's not like you went off and made out with Fred and George or something."

Hermione looked at him. "How bad would that be, exactly?"

"What do you mean, Hermione?" Ron asked slowly.

"On a scale from one to ten, one being 'I don't care', and ten being 'What the hell is wrong with you?', what would it be?"

"Hermione, this is very suspicious. The anger would probably be at about a five, meaning I'm not quite sure what to think, but I think that you made a very wrong decision."

"OK," said Hermione. "I made out with Fred and George."

"WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

"Ron, that was option ten and you said it would be a five."

"Hermione, shut up! I don't want you messing with any more of my nerves today. I think that I am finished talking to you until you go to the wand shop and buy a wand that will give you a brain!"

"Ron, that was exceptionally mean! And besides, you haven't given me an opportunity to explain myself yet! So why are you freaking out so bad?"

"OK," said Ron. "Explain yourself."

"Well, Fred and George have decided that they want to make a jelly bean that would make you in fall love with anyone that you lay eyes on. So, me being fortunate enough to walk in on them, got to test it. So then I made out with Fred because he got in the way of George and then George took one. Then George got jealous and then made out with me and wanted Fred and then the affects wore off and I left. I didn't want to tell you, Ron! I knew you would be mad!"

"You I am no longer mad at," he said. "They, however, have officially thoroughly disgusted me. I wonder what Mum would say if I told her that George hit on Fred after he made out with you."

"Don't do that," said Hermione. "She'd kill me too, remember?"

"Right, right," said Ron. "I wonder why they would do such a thing. I mean, why would they want people to fall in love with whoever they lay eyes on?"

"I don't know, Ron, but it's really disgusting."

"Oh, so I didn't have to leave," said Harry, walking up to them. "Sorry I snapped, then, Ron."

"It's all right, mate. But I think you should hear Hermione's story. It definitely tops Snape! So, Hermione, Fred and George are good, are they?"

Hermione slapped him again. "Ron, you are a perverted wizard! You need to go to St, Mungo's and get professional help!"

"Wait," said Harry. "Hermione? You snogged Fred and George?"

"No!" said Hermione. "Now you sound like Ginny thinking I made out with all six of the Weasley boys! I only made out with Fred and George when they gave me a bean they'd been working on."

"Are they going to sell them?" asked Ron. "They could make some money. I'd buy one."

"Ron, if that's your way of getting down my throat, it's not very good. And besides, they're working on getting the effect to last."

"The effect wore off?"

"Yeah! If it didn't, you'd see me making out with everyone in this class! It's designed to make you fall in love with ANYONE YOU SEE!"

"Oh, right."

"Hermione, you know that it's kind of creepy to think about you making out with Fred and George, right?" asked Harry.

"Yeah," she said. "It even sort of scares me when I take enough time to think about it. Or repeat it, at least. Anyway. What was it that you two were talking about at breakfast earlier? Something about a potion Fred and George gave you and Snape?"

"Well, just the potion made Snape go naked, that's all," said Ron.

"What?" shrieked Hermione. Some people turned their heads to see what was the matter. "That's preposterous!" she said, lowering her voice. Everyone continued their conversations.

"I know," said Harry. "But as Ron clarified last night, Snape had nothing to be worried about -- or, at least, he had nothing to show us that he had to be worried about."

Ron and Harry started laughing and gave each other high-fives.

"You know," said Hermione, "you two think that it's rather disgusting to think of me kissing Fred and George, but thinking of you two seeing Snape naked is even worse! Or even thinking of Snape naked in the first place!"

"Class dismissed," said McGonagall over all of the talking voices. Everyone headed for the door, continuing their conversations.

"It was disgusting," said Harry. "But at least you got SOME sort of pleasure out of your little dilemma!"

"Oh, shut up," said Hermione. "You two are never going to leave me alone about that, are you? And besides, I was under a spell anyway, it really wasn't my fault! You two should leave me alone about it."

"Ah, go on, Hermione!" said Ron. "We're only teasing you! And besides, I think it's rather funny now that I've gotten over the shock. It's kind of romantic as well if you take the time to think about it."

"Funny? Romantic? That definitely wasn't the goal I was aiming for when I was sticking my tongue down their throats. At least, funny wasn't. Romantic is perfectly OK with me. You two should be jealous, I wouldn't doubt that you could take lessons from them."

"Ew!" said Ron. "Take lessons on making out with you from my brothers? I think I'll pass on that one, Hermione. Thanks anyway though."

Hermione slapped him again. "No, you idiot! Take kissing lessons from them anyway. I bet you could go get a bean from them now and get lessons; the effect will be over by the time the lesson's over."

"Hermione, that's disgusting," said Harry.

"Yeah!" Ron agreed.

Hermione kissed Harry, then Ron right after. Harry felt like maybe she liked him, and Ron, as usual, was completely confused.

"What was that for?"

Hermione licked her lips.

"I was seeing if you guys needed to go get kissing lessons from Fred and George."

"And?" asked Ron.

"Definitely. No offense, but you two suck."

Harry grabbed Hermione and gave her a real kiss, tongue and all. He loved kissing her and not having her pull away. Ron did the same right after Harry had his way with her.

"My turn to ask," said Hermione.

"Well, you just gave us tiny pecks," said Harry. "Now that we've actually kissed you, you should tell us if we need lessons or not."

"I still remain with my decision," said Hermione. "You both still suck."

* * * * *

Fred and George laughed as they tried to make the effect last.

"Well, I'm not sure how to do it," said George. "It seems bloody impossible, don't you think?"

"Nah, it's not impossible. I personally think that we should keep the short effect until we've tested it on more people," said Fred.

"Why would we want to test it? We've already got me and Hermione."

"Well, I just wanna see if it wears out on everyone. Chill out, will you?"

"OK, but you know that after a while word's going to spread about us and people won't take it from us."

"Well, maybe we could get them to control their feelings. Like, give it to them and make it so they only fall in love with people they know."

"That could work, but we're having enough difficulties trying to make the effects last as it is."

Fred shook George. "It doesn't matter! We could make craploads of money with this stuff, whether the effects last or not! Word may travel, but people will still want more! We did, and we kissed Hermione, remember?"

A very sheepish grin formed across George's face.

"What?" said Fred. "What is it?"

AI have an idea," said George.

* * * * *

"Harry, do you really think we suck?" asked Ron nervously.

"I don't know, I just think that Hermione thinks they're good and everyone should get lessons from them."

"Well, why don't we test each other?"

"What did you just say?"

"Why don't we kiss each other to see if we need lessons or not?"

"Ron, I'm going to be kissing enough guys as it is, I don't need you as one of them."

"Oh shut up," said Ron. He grabbed Harry and started kissing him. "Well?" he asked when he was done.

Harry stared, still no believing Ron just kissed him.

"You do suck."

"So do you!"

"Lessons?"

"Yeah."

"Ron?"

"What?"

"Let's never do that again."

"Deal."