So Close

Ginny had seen Harry angry before, but never at her and this wasn't the same as seeing him angry. She had never seen him hateful but that was what she was getting from him now and she realized he knew what she had done. She may have been prepared for this if she had any idea Harry would have been there but to have this situation suddenly upon her through her into a state of panic. "Um...well...I didn't...."

Harry stopped her by saying, "I really don't want to know. It's for the best anyway. I'm staying here for a couple days to make your mom happy but after that I don't really think you and I will have much to talk about." With that, Harry stepped around her and quickly made his way up to his room. Once upstairs he felt ashamed for the way he handled that and knew that with everything else going on it was the wrong thing to do but he hadn't expected the feelings to swell up in him like that.

Ginny stood there stunned by the whole thing. The last thing she expected when she got home was to see Harry who had been gone for over two and a half years. The sudden relief of seeing him alive and in front of her had caused her to forget everything that had happened over that time and she instinctively hugged him. But the next minute, his reaction brought her back to the present and now she didn't know exactly what to do.

She had felt so hurt when Harry left without saying anything to anyone. She hurt more than she could have ever thought possible when her father had told them what Harry was going off to do. She had moped around the house all summer snapping at anyone who told her to cheer up and try to get on with things. By the time school started, she had convinced herself that Harry must not have really cared for her if he was willing to just run off like that without so much as an explanation. So when Dean Thomas did start talking to her, she had responded in an attempt to get back at Harry but that quickly fell into a routine and before she knew it, she and Dean were a couple and Harry was still gone. Dean was there for her and after a few months, she had convinced herself that she had indeed gotten over Harry. By the middle of term, she was actively flaunting her relationship with Dean much to the dismay of her brother and Hermione who couldn't forgive her for doing that to Harry.

Over the next year, things didn't get any better between her and Ron, and had deteriorated drastically with Hermione who was the most protective of Harry. Ginny was actually glad when Ron and Hermione officially broke up, thinking that would cause her relationship with her brother to get back on track. To her dismay, Ron and Hermione remained as close as ever, and never wavered in their protectiveness of Harry. This was the first time that Ginny could remember where she was not looking forward to Christmas at the Burrow. As much as she wanted to blame Harry for how she felt right now, she just couldn't do it.

Harry lay in bed for many hours that night, silently berating himself for being so hateful to Ginny when he was in fact glad she had moved on. If only she would have moved on slowly, after giving him a chance he would be fine. At least that's what he told himself. After promising himself to act better around her from now on, he then started worrying about Hermione and how she was taking to the discovery she made earlier. Harry hadn't convinced himself that he was going to tell anyone about it and now that choice had been taken away. He fell asleep some time later, still pondering this issue.

Surprisingly with all the turmoil in his head, Harry slept soundly until a loud 'crack' woke him up. "Welcome back my boy!" George bellowed. "Get up mate, you're holding up the festivities!" Fred added.

"What ever happened to privacy?" Harry groaned and tried to pull the blanket over his head.

"Mum's going crazy down there telling everyone how good you look and she told us to get you down there," George replied.

"Yeah, Ronnie actually refused to wake you. But since he's known you've been back for a bit it's no big deal to him," Fred said.

"Yes, we're very wounded you kept away from us you know," George said with a malicious smile.

"However..." Fred added, "if you get your sorry bum downstairs in the next ten minutes we'll give you a holiday reprieve from any retribution." With that and another 'crack', the twins vanished from Harry's room.

Harry rolled over actually laughing and feeling more at home than he could ever remember. He quickly jumped into the shower and got cleaned up before heading downstairs. Mrs. Weasley was waiting expectantly at the bottom. "Happy Christmas Harry dear!" she exclaimed hugging him again.

"She wouldn't let us even start touching the presents until you got down here," Ron laughed as he grabbed the first of his presents. Harry spent the next few minutes greeting the rest of the family. He especially liked greeting Bill since the last time Harry had seen that particular Weasley, he had been injured and was being stretchered off after a battle.

Finally Harry turned and came face to face with Ginny again. He noticed everyone else had gotten very quiet and was watching the exchange. Only Ron knew that Harry had already been told about Ginny dating Dean. Quickly Harry gave her a light hug and said, "Happy Christmas." Ginny seemed to want to hug a moment longer but Harry was already backing away before he finished saying the words causing the other Weasleys to give each other glances. Mrs. Weasley however directed everyone to begin opening presents and Harry moved to the other side of the room near Ron.

Harry was looking at his jumper when Fred leaned over and said, "We didn't know you'd be here mate. Come to the store later and pick out whatever you want."

"I'll do that," Harry gratefully replied.

Fred got a more serious expression and whispered, "Guess you know about our little sister and that bloke?" Harry nodded. "Sorry about that mate. Ron filled us in on what happened."

"It's really ok," Harry whispered back. "That was a long time ago." Harry smiled after this, trying to make sure Fred knew he was being honest.

After a couple hours of everyone looking at all the presents, they were all sitting in the living room when they heard a 'pop' in the kitchen and saw Percy walk in with a strained look on his face. Mrs. Weasley was the only one to jump up and hug him. "Happy Christmas dear," she said during the hug.

Harry saw Percy and Mrs. Weasley speaking quietly and also saw the other Weasley children looking quite menacing at Percy. Ginny was the only other one to get up and greet Percy at the doorway. Percy then moved near Mr. Weasley and shook his hand and began a conversation with his father. The other boys were ignoring him and had gone back to their own conversations.

Harry was trying to watch the interaction between everyone when he saw Percy finally realize he was here and say, "My dear Lord! You're...what...how..."

Percy was near the top of the list of people Harry couldn't stand so Harry coldly said, "Happy Christmas Percy," and then tried to turn back to his conversation with Ron.

Percy however wasn't to be deterred. "You're back! The Minister will be so pleased," he said almost bouncing. "You must come to the Ministry! Let me set something up..."

The next second Harry was stunned when Bill jumped up, got right in Percy's face and firmly said, "Don't screw with him Percy!"

Percy was too excited to be scared and exclaimed, "But he has to come back! He's what everyone wants to see!"

Next Fred and George were next to Bill with Ron not far behind, "I think it's time dear brother," Fred icily said. "For you to be on your way," George added. Ron followed with, "Before we lose our holiday cheer."

Percy now backed up realizing his brothers were very serious. Mrs. Weasley led him into the kitchen before returning by herself. She looked very sad when she came back and Harry couldn't stand the silence so he said, "I'm sorry about that. I shouldn't have stayed."

"Nonsense dear," Molly said.

"Yeah mate," Ron said with an amused tone, "that's only about five minutes less than we can normally stand him."

The rest of the boys started laughing but Molly scolded him with, "Ronald!"

After another hour, Fred gave a curious look and loudly asked, "Where's Hermione? I can't believe she'd miss this."

"Good point brother," George said. "She knows you're back doesn't she?"

Ron beat Harry with an answer by saying, "Oh, she knows. Harry's got a new scar and when Hermione saw it she got all worked up and said she had to go. Bit queer actually." Ron looked at Harry and added, "I tried to floo her this morning but her parents said she was sleeping in and wasn't feeling well."

"Maybe she'll come over later when she's feeling better," Harry offered, knowing that probably wouldn't happen.

The rest of the day went surprisingly well with Harry being enthralled by stories from Bill and Charlie and entertained by the antics of the twins. Ron also did everything he could to keep the mood away from war stories. Harry was also able to keep a good distance between himself and Ginny as she was as uncomfortable as he was with the situation at the moment.

Later that evening Harry heard a couple people calling for Arthur Weasley in the floo and when he saw Mrs. Weasley come in looking irritated he asked if there was a problem. "It seems word is out that you're here and some Ministry officials want to speak with you," she angrily said. "Don't worry dear, we're trying to keep them away."

"Bloody gits!" Ron exclaimed. "Just wanting to ride his coat tails back into everyone's good graces."

Harry thought for a second and said, "Maybe I'll just head home." He was interrupted by many protests but firmly said, "It'll die down soon. I should go check on Hermione as well."

"Want me to come?" Ron quickly asked.

"No, you stay with your family," Harry said with a smile. "Hermione will probably just want to sit around reading anyway," he joked. After saying his goodbyes and being loaded down with food from Mrs. Weasley, Harry made his way back to his flat. He was instantly shocked to see some boxes in the kitchen and sound coming from the back bedroom. Quietly, he sat the food down and made his way to the source of the sound with his wand out. Leaning around the corner he saw Hermione, hanging some clothes in the empty closet. "Hermione!" he exclaimed causing her to jump and drop the clothes she was holding.

"Merlin's beard Harry! You scared me," she exclaimed and quickly picked up the clothes and continued hanging them up without an explanaition.

"Um...What exactly are you doing?" Harry asked sounding totally lost.

"Moving in of course," she calmly replied and picked up more clothes off the bed. "Could you get that big box in Hedwig's room for me?"

Still confused, Harry absentmindedly leaned into Hedwig's room and summoned the large box. "Did we talk about you moving in?" Harry asked thinking he had missed something.

"No," Hermione curtly replied and went back to her task.

"Don't you think we should have?" Harry asked.

Hermione stopped after hanging the clothes that were still in her hand and stepped directly in front of Harry with an expression he couldn't figure out. He was about to say something when she got a look that very much reminded him of Professor McGonagall and poked him in the chest and said, "Don't you think we should have talked about what's going on with you? Were you even going to tell us?" Hermione was now making Harry back out of the room with her constant poking. "Or were you just going to disappear again? Do you ever think about anyone else's feelings?"

That last statement hurt Harry and he quit backing up. "Yes Hermione all I seem to think about is other people's feelings," Harry said with such conviction that it stopped Hermione in her tracks.

"Well you have a lot to learn about feelings Harry," Hermione continued. "And, I figure if you can be so selfish, then so can I. I'm moving in."

"Selfish!" Harry exclaimed as he turned and stormed back into the living room. "The one selfish thing I've done is to contact you and look how that's turning out! I know what's happening to me and I couldn't stand not to see you and Ron again before it happens. That's the only selfish thing I've done."

Hermione had walked up behind him and softly said, "No Harry it's not." She turned him around to face her and continued, "You just don't get the whole feeling thing. You hurt us when you just left without giving us a chance to say goodbye. You hurt us bad. We are your best friends and should have at least been given the opportunity to say goodbye to you." Harry started to protest but she put a hand over his mouth. "Think about it. Wouldn't you have liked to have even a few minutes with Sirius before you lost him? Wouldn't you?" Harry now looked very hurt. "We didn't know if we'd ever see you again and never had the chance to say goodbye. We deserve that chance Harry; it was selfish to take that away from us and I won't let you do it again."

Harry pulled her into a tight hug and the two just stood there, Hermione with her face pressed into his chest and Harry with his head lightly touching Hermione's. After a long while Harry softly said, "I'm sorry, I never knew."

Hermione stepped back and whipped her eyes. "Yes, well Ron and I cut you some slack since we knew how you were."

"Thanks," Harry said jokingly. "Now," he added looking at her seriously, "what's going on with you moving in?"

"Just that," Hermione confidently said. "I'm moving in. End of story. If this is really going to happen to you, I want to spend as much time around you as I can. I promise I won't keep bringing it up and will do my best to stay upbeat but I'm moving in."

Harry thought for a moment and said, "I suppose you've already read up on what's going to happen?" Hermione nodded. "I'm leaving when I start to feel it," Harry firmly said and then stopped Hermione before she could protest. "End of discussion! I'll stay until I'm sure it's happening and then I'm gone. I don't want to go thinking the last memory you and Ron have of me will be when it's happening."

"You can't be alone!" Hermione exclaimed.

"I won't be," Harry assured her. "Hedwig at least will be there."

"I can't promise I won't try to talk you out of that when the time comes," Hermione said.

"Fine," Harry replied and then asked, "What are you going to tell Ron?"

"You should tell him what's going to happen," Hermione stated.

"I will, just not yet. You know how he is, everything will be 'Bloody Hell Mate'," Harry said causing Hermione to chuckle.

"Ok, but you will tell him before it happens," she stated. Harry nodded. "Then we'll just tell him that I'm moving in because I don't trust you not to disappear again. That's pretty much the truth anyway."

Harry helped Hermione move the rest of her stuff in and the next day she decided to break the news to Ron so she called him on the floo and told him to come to Harry's. He arrived and didn't notice anything different about the flat and began questioning Hermione about her disappearance. Then he turned to Harry and said, "Good thing you left. The floo didn't stop for hours and the Minister himself came over demanding to see you." Ron laughed and said, "I thought mum was going to hex him right in the kitchen before he left." Now Ron looked around and asked, "I don't remember it looking so girly before."

Harry's eyes got huge and then he glared at Hermione who quickly said, "Well that's because I moved in." Ron looked shocked and before he could respond Hermione added, "You didn't think I was going to take the chance on him sneaking away now did you?"

Ron looked at her for a second and then calmly said, "Good point." He turned to Harry and added, "Maybe staying at the Burrow would have been better for you." Harry laughed drawing a glare from Hermione.

Not surprisingly, things fell into a very good routine and Harry was actually able to forget what was going to happen to him. Ron came over often and the three of them went out and did things in the Muggle world very often to the delight of Ron who never got tired of seeing how Muggles accomplished the simplest things. They visited the Burrow on many occasions when Harry was assured Percy wouldn't be around and also tried to make it when Ginny was out.

Harry and Hermione lived together without incident and for the first time, Harry really felt good about almost everything in his life which was precisely what Hermione had wanted when she moved in. Hermione however was becoming more and more bothered by what was going to happen to Harry. She tried not to show it but when the two of them were sitting alone sometimes, she couldn't help it. Harry didn't get angry with her for becoming emotional because he too felt that way but had resolved himself to what was coming.

During February, Hermione started becoming more distant and seemed to be really focusing on something. Harry and Ron had both been trying to get her to tell them what it was but Hermione refused. One Saturday night, Ron had a date and that left Hermione and Harry alone at the flat. Hermione had been very quiet throughout the day and Harry had planned on not bothering her after supper. The two were sitting on the couch, watching television when Hermione turned it off and faced Harry with a very serious look on her face. "I need to talk to you Harry," she firmly said.

Harry immediately got worried. Nothing good ever started like that. He turned and hesitantly said, "Ok."

"You know how I say you've always been selfish with your feelings?" she asked and Harry nodded trying to figure out where this was going. "Well, I want to ask you something that is very selfish."

"I'd do anything for you Hermione, you know that," Harry quickly said.

"Yes, well hear me out," she said, now sounding unsure. "First of all, I'm asking this completely for myself. I've been thinking for a while and decided this is something I want more than anything else in the world."

"Ok," Harry tentatively said.

Hermione took a deep breath and said, "Harry, I want to have your baby."

Harry just stared at her with his deep green eyes wide and jaw hanging. "Did you hear me Harry?" Hermione asked. "I want to have your baby."

Harry looked around like he was expecting something and then got a big grin as he said, "This is a joke isn't it? The twins are here somewhere."

Hermione actually chuckled and said, "No Harry, I'm serious." He looked at her and she slightly nodded her head.

"You can't be!" he said standing up. "That's insane."

Hermione jumped up and grabbed his hand. "No Harry it's not. Listen to me," she pleaded. Harry was too stunned to say anything so Hermione continued, "I don't think I ever realized before how much a part of my life you are. When you left it was like a huge part of me was ripped away. I just couldn't imagine living in the world without you. The only thing that made it bearable was that we knew you were alive." Harry started to say something but she stopped him. "Let me finish," she quickly said. "When I left the Burrow, I actually came here." Harry looked shocked; she had said she was going to her parents. Hermione sat down and sadly said, "I took the knife and was going to cut myself."

"What!" Harry exclaimed as he grabbed her arms and pulled up her sleeves. "You didn't did you?"

Hermione grabbed his hands and said, "No Harry I didn't. I knew you'd blame yourself if I did and I couldn't put you through that, but that's the only reason I didn't." Hermione began to cry and Harry pulled her into a hug. "I still feel the same way. I don't want to go on in this world without you in it. I just can't imagine."

"But what does this have to do with a baby?" Harry asked.

"That's what I've been thinking about," Hermione said, now looking intently at him. "I know you won't be here but if we have a baby, then some part of you will be and that will be enough for me. Don't you see?"

"No Hermione I don't see," Harry said. "You haven't thought this through. You're just trying to do this for me."

"No!" Hermione exclaimed standing up quickly. In a very determined voice she said, "This is for me! It's what I want! Honestly Harry, I've thought this through. I want this more than anything. Please?"

Harry was stunned and for once thought he was being the reasonable one when he said, "Listen to me Hermione, just listen. You've got your whole life ahead of you. You'll fall in love and have kids with someone. You don't want to be a single mother adding worries to your life."

"Harry," she calmly said taking his hands again. "I know I've got my whole life, but it won't be worth anything if you're not a part of it. I can do this and having a child won't keep me from anything in the future. Not if it is meant to be." She patted his hand and said, "I want this Harry. For me, I really do."

Harry thought for a minute and said, "You can't expect an answer right now can you?"

"No," she quickly said now smiling. "However, sometimes these things take a bit so you shouldn't take too long."

"Um...ok," Harry muttered. "I'm going to bed."

Hermione hugged him and said, "Please think hard about it. I know what I'm doing."

"This is the first time I'm not actually sure you do," Harry said before going to his room and trying to think.

Without sleeping much, Harry had been able to make a decision. After showering, he came to the kitchen to see Hermione at the table looking at him intently. "I suppose you expect an answer now," he said with a slight smile.

She took this as a good sign and said, "I won't sleep until you do give me one."

"Yeah, well I may never sleep again," he replied before becoming serious. "Ok, I have some conditions."

"Conditions?" she exclaimed and Harry put up his hands to quiet her.

"Yes, conditions," he calmly said. "First you promise me that you're doing this only to make you happy, not to make me happy."

"I promise!" she exclaimed. "I want this for me."

"Second, that if this happens, you won't stop yourself from finding someone that makes you happy when I'm gone."

"I promise," she said becoming more excited.

"It can't be a Malfoy," Harry flatly stated.

Hermione shook with disgust and said, "No problems there."

"Next, no matter if it's a boy or girl you get them flying lessons as soon as they possibly can," he said looking very serious.

"Harry! I'm not a good flier," she added.

"That's why I said lessons," he stated. "Get one of the twins or Ron or hire someone but I want him or her flying as soon as possible."

"Fine, I promise," she said shaking her head.

"Ok, now the big one," he said and she got worried. "Marry me," he said looking intently at her.

"Marry you? Harry you don't have to do that. I didn't mean for you to have to do that," she said looking worried.

"I insist," he said and added, "Hear me out." Hermione stayed quiet and Harry said, "It will make the transfer of my assets easier. You know my parents did ok and then Sirius left me his inheritance and then the Ministry decided to 'award' me with the Order of Merlin which came with a big chunk." Harry paused and then said, "Secondly, I don't really care what everyone else thinks but it will make it easier to explain things to the baby when he or she grows up. No one will think that we had some torrid drunken affair that left you pregnant." Harry watched her and she actually blushed at this. She didn't say anything for a minute so he asked, "Well?"

"You don't have to marry me Harry," she said. "I don't care what anyone else thinks but you do make some good points. You really did think about this didn't you?" Hermione studied him and then got a playful look in her eyes. "Fine, I agree to your terms. I'll marry you and you give me a baby," she said before hugging him tightly.

"This is going to be so strange," Harry said.

"Yes well it will be interesting for a while I suppose," Hermione said now thinking about what was going to be necessary for this to happen. "What kind of wedding do you want? We need to do it soon. This could take a while."

"My gosh Hermione," Harry said. "You're not going to treat me like a piece of meat are you?"

She blushed brightly and said, "Oh, of course not but we have to make sure we have enough time. Just in case." She thought for a moment and said, "I want a small private Muggle wedding. I'll have to invite my parents of course," she said thinking out loud as she began to pace. "I suppose you'll want Mr. & Mrs. Weasley there. Professor Lupin of course. Ron will be the best man and I used to think Ginny....but definitely not anymore...Tonks! Tonks will work."

Harry just stood back and watched her plan the whole thing out amazed that she was so far along. Suddenly she stopped and said, "Ok, we'll do it the first Saturday in March. I'll find the church. I'll tell my parents and then we can both go talk to them. You tell Professor Lupin and Mr. & Mrs. Weasley. We should tell Ron first...definitely. That will be interesting." She stopped pacing and went to the fireplace, threw in some powder and said, "Ronald Weasley!"

A few moments later Ron's messy head appeared and he said, "What do you want Hermione? It's too early for this."

"Did your latest woman sleep over?" she calmly asked.

"Would I have answered the floo if she was still here?" he replied shaking his head. Harry was thoroughly enjoying this exchange between his two friends.

"Well get over here, we've got some huge news," she said.

"Can't it wait Hermione?" he asked, still sounding tired.

"Do you want to be Harry's best man in his wedding or not?" she asked before cutting off the floo.

"You're evil at that!" Harry said smiling at her.

A moment later a much disheveled Ron Weasley stepped out of the fire with his shirt on backwards and no shoes. "Best man? What's going on?" Ron asked.

Before Harry could answer, Hermione stepped up and said, "Listen Ron, we've got two huge things to tell you. No once can know about either of them. Got it?" Ron looked at Harry who also looked surprised. He didn't know they were telling Ron about his condition right now.

"Hermione," Harry tentatively said. "Two things?"

"Yes Harry, two," she firmly said.

"Sit down Ron," she said and Ron took a seat in a large chair.

For the next hour, Hermione did most of the talking and first explained that Harry was cut with the knife and was dying. Ron almost seemed calmed down from that news and then she told him about them getting married. This sent him off on another rant about her not knowing what she was doing. Harry just added a couple "uh...huhs and sure" whenever Hermione gave him a look but stayed out of most of it.

Finally Ron stopped and just kept looking between Harry and Hermione then finally said, "Ok, let me get this straight. Harry's going to die sometime after his birthday." Harry and Hermione nodded. "So you want to have his baby so you can cling to some fantasy that he's still around?"

Hermione didn't seem bothered by this at all, she confidently said, "Yes Ron that's exactly how it is."

Ron turned to Harry and said, "And you?"

"I tried to talk her out of it Ron," Harry quickly said.

"Yeah, I know how that is," Ron replied. "Not much hope of that once she's gotten her mind made up." Hermione actually smiled at this. "People are going to go ballistic," he said.

"No one can know," Harry firmly said. "Once the wedding is over, I don't care if people know about that or not but no one can know what's happening to me until I'm gone. No one."

"Fine," Ron said. "I suppose it's only because Hermione found out that you're even letting us know. Bloody Hell mate," Ron said causing Harry and Hermione to laugh out loud.