So Close

By later that evening, Harry started regretting his decision not to go to the Burrow. Nearly every other student seemed to be gone. Harry ended up spending an hour with Hedwig before falling asleep in the common room reading his Concealment Charm book that Moody had let him get.

After showering the next morning, Harry was surprised as soon as he exited his common room by a familiar voice, "Wotcher Harry!"

"Tonks!" Harry exclaimed. "What are you doing here? Wait, let me guess. Someone told the Order that I didn't go to the Burrow and you're here to make sure I don't do anything stupid."

Tonks laughed and said, "Close but not exact. You were ok up until saying I'm here to stop you doing anything stupid. I'm here to work on your Concealment Charms and anything else we want to. Dumbledore gave me full access as long as I don't break anything."

Harry laughed and said, "So that means we won't have much time."

"Hey, don't push me," Tonks said, "or I may just have to leak some embarrassing story like you're dating a teacher or something to the Prophet."

"Don't even joke about that Tonks," Harry pleaded.

The two walked down to breakfast together and after starting to eat, they were greeted by the Headmaster, "Ah, Tonks. I see you made it fine. I also didn't hear anything break so it looks like you can stay for a while." Dumbledore's bright eyes twinkled. "Molly was distressed when you didn't arrive at the Burrow Harry, but I told her it was probably because of the demanding requirements leading the D.A. group were putting on you," Dumbledore added with a slight smile.

"Thank you sir," Harry said hoping that this kept Mrs. Weasley from being too mad.

"However things being what they are, I didn't want you sitting around with too much idle time and Tonks here volunteered to spend some time working with you," Dumbledore added.

"Volunteered? Like guarding rooms of junk?" Harry asked with a smile.

"No," Tonks quickly said. "Volunteered like something I'm looking forward to doing. I don't get to hang around celebrities all the time."

"Ok, that's crossing the line," Harry fired back.

"I see you two will do just fine," Dumbledore said. "Harry, please do not leave the castle alone and not at all after dark. I hope you understand."

Harry hung his head but did understand. "Yes sir."

"Don't worry Harry, it won't be all work. I brought my broom and tomorrow we'll see if you can keep up," Tonks challenged.

After breakfast the two went directly to the Room of Requirement but before entering, Harry told her what to concentrate on and she was impressed by the selection of Dark Detectors and books in the room. "And this room can be anything you want?" she asked clearly amazed.

"Yep," Harry said. "And, if you break something, a new one will take its place."

"My mother needed one of these," she softly said.

The two were surprised by Dobby bringing lunch into the room, neither of them realized so much time had passed. Right after lunch, they changed to practice dueling with Tonks showing Harry some of the things he would learn in Auror training. Harry recognized some of the spells as ones that were used against the Death Eaters last year. By the end of the day, they were both worn out.

"I haven't worked that hard in a long time Harry," Tonks said with a big smile.

"We don't have to do so much next time," Harry said, feeling bad for causing her to work so hard. "I'm just glad you're helping at all."

"I think this is great!" Tonks admitted. "If I wasn't an Auror, I'd probably be a teacher."

"Are you staying in the castle?" Harry asked.

"Yeah, Dumbledore's got me up in the Professor's wing. Not a bad gig," she said.

Harry quickly fell asleep, feeling very happy after having spent the day Tonks practicing. A strange dream did creep in early in the morning. Harry saw Sirius putting up Holiday decorations and fussing about Grimmauld Place. He also saw all the Weasleys helping him. When he woke from this dream in the morning, he was in a very good mood but then thought about it. This couldn't be something he was remembering from last year. He was up with Buckbeak while those things were happening. Harry quickly brushed this off as just wishful thinking of something he hadn't been a part of and continued on with his day.

After lunch the next day Tonks and Harry went to the Quidditch pitch to fly around. "Didn't get to see you do much the last time," Tonks said referring to when they rescued him from the Dursleys the previous year. "See if you can keep up," she taunted and kicked off hard, quickly rising.

Harry followed and his Firebolt easily caught up to her, rising much faster than her broom could. Tonks raised her eyebrows and sped off, weaving, diving and doing maneuvers that even had Harry impressed. However, it wasn't much of a challenge for Harry to stay right behind her and after doing this for a while, he decided to show her what his Firebolt could really do and before Tonks knew it Harry was directly in front of her before he nudged the front of his broom up and went vertical. She tried to follow but couldn't come close.

Tonks continued to act like she was following but really was just watching, amazed at some of the things Harry and his Firebolt were doing. She was a big fan of Quidditch and seriously doubted some professional players could make some of the turns and loops that Harry did without any effort. After a final loop, Harry pulled up along side Tonks with a huge grin and said, "You'd have been close if you had a Firebolt."

"Ok showoff, let's get back to work," Tonks said, trying to act upset. "I want to get back to something that I'm the expert on." She smiled at him and added, "But if you keep making such quick progress, you'll probably beat me there before long as well."

Harry ended up having dreams that showed Sirius in situations where he was very happy. Harry himself was never a part of the dreams but he always woke up wishing he could have seen more and in a good mood. Christmas morning, Harry was woken up by a thump followed by, "Ow!" Quickly grabbing his wand, he pointed it at the lump on the floor before suddenly smiling and yelling, "Tonks! What are you doing in here?"

"Well I came to give you a shock but didn't see the trunk down here," she said rubbing her foot.

"This is a boy's dorm! How'd you get in?" Harry said not really bothered by her being here.

"Auror's Privilege," she said with a gleam in her eyes. "Another benefit to the job as I'm sure you'll find out. Here," she said handing him a package.

"You didn't have to get me anything," Harry said surprised by the gift.

"Yeah well I figure that when you join up, maybe we could be partners and I want you to be prepared," Tonks said and Harry couldn't tell if she was serious about the partner bit or not.

Harry opened the package and pulled out a pocket-sized mirror. It suddenly made him think of the two-way mirror Sirius had given him but he could see things swirling in it. "It's a pocket foe mirror," Tonks happily said. "Not as powerful as a normal one, but you can't go carrying those around now can you."

"Thanks Tonks," Harry honestly said before turning to the other presents from his friends. He received books from everyone except Ron and the twins who had given him a gift certificate for their store. He was relieved to see the familiar jumper Mrs. Weasley usually made for him.

Over the next week, Harry had made great strides with Concealment Charms but still couldn't master the chameleon effect that Moody performed on him. It turned out that changing skin color was the easiest. Now Harry was able to selectively change almost anything about his appearance with his favorite being able to hide his scar for a fair amount of time.

One day at lunch, another member of the Order joined them for lunch. "Remus!" Harry exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"I've been busy with the Order but couldn't let the entire break go without seeing you," Lupin said as he sat down next to Harry. "How has it been so far?"

"Great!" Harry exclaimed. "Except that Tonks needs a Firebolt," he added with a grin. For the next several minutes, Harry could barely contain his laughter as his former Professor and Tonks exchanged light-hearted insults. It really made Harry feel good to see Lupin actually smiling. This relieved a bit of guilt Harry had been feeling over the times he had let himself forget the grief of missing Sirius and actually enjoy his friends. Harry knew that's what Sirius would want but it was still hard to do, especially this time of year.

Harry caught Tonks give Lupin a strange look and then a nod. Right after this Lupin cleared his throat and said, "I heard you had a date for the Holiday Ball."

"Yeah, I guess so," Harry said, now feeling a bit uncomfortable.

"I think I'll leave you two men alone for a bit," Tonks said clearly having trouble suppressing a smile. She got up and quickly strode out of the Hall. Now Harry worried what Lupin was really going to talk about.

"Now Harry," Lupin said, sounding a bit nervous. "I was wondering if there was anything you'd like to talk about? I heard this girl was very pretty and a Slytherin, correct?"

Harry squirmed and said, "Yeah, she's a Slytherin, but we're just friends."

"Friends...That's good," Lupin nervously said. "But, you know I was thinking that maybe we should talk about that."

Now Harry was sure where this talk was going to go and his mind instantly flashed to the note Sirius had left. Lupin's voice still continued, "You know that you have to be sure of what you're doing and...." Harry could feel the laugh coming and tried to keep it down. "...you should go slow, even if you feel like rushing in. There's a right way and a wrong way..."

That was it, Harry lost it and broke out into a loud laugh, causing the other couple students sitting at other tables to look. Lupin looked confused and said, "This is serious Harry, you have to make sure you consider...." Again Harry gave a loud snort and held up his hands to get Lupin to stop talking.

After calming down a bit, Harry saw Lupin looked confused at a bit put-off so he composed himself and said, "Sirius said he hated that you were going to have to do this." Harry laughed again but Lupin didn't look happy.

"He did, did he?" Lupin questioned.

"He said you'd make it seem like work!" Harry snorted.

"Work! Why that..." Lupin angrily said. "Just because I didn't give into every pretty witch that winked while he was off...well he just didn't have my restraint, that's all." Lupin had begun to get a smile while he said this and soon the two were both laughing at the situation. "His letter to me said I should have this talk with you soon because he hadn't been able to yet. He set this whole thing up," Lupin said while smiling broadly. "He was the best friend I could have asked for," Lupin finally said.

Harry didn't even get that sad thinking of this. "Yeah, I could see that..."

Tonks walked in and came over with a confused look as she saw the two still laughing. "Now I understand what the problem with guys is," she said to them. "How can you learn about anything when you're too busy laughing about it."

Lupin shook his head and told Tonks what had happened. "So you still haven't had the talk yet?"

Harry quickly blushed and said, "And we're not going to have it! I'm ok with what goes on."

"Really!" Tonks said grinning broadly. "That Slytherin teach you a thing or two did she?"

"No!" Harry quickly replied. "I'm not having this talk. Don't irritate me, you've taught me some really good spells Tonks and I'm ready to start using them."

Lupin left that afternoon and Tonks and Harry went back to practicing, even though she couldn't help but throw in comments that embarrassed Harry to no end. Tonks had been most impressed with Harry's aptitude with the dueling techniques they had been practicing. She saw that Harry was extremely focused when she would explain moves and counters to various hexes. "I really don't think potions is going to be an issue when you want to join us," she admitted after he had bested her with a spell that forced all of her spells to rebound at her.

"Now all I have to do is make it that long," he said jokingly.

"Seriously though, what would you think about being my partner when you join up?" she asked.

"That would be brilliant," Harry quickly exclaimed and then thought about Ron. "But I should really partner with Ron."

"That won't be possible at first," Tonks replied. "They don't want new recruits together. Besides, if you keep up this progress we could get the really good assignments."

"Good as in dangerous with a bunch of action?" Harry asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Exactly!" Tonks said with a large smile. "I intend to make a difference and thought you might be willing to tag along."

"So all I have to do is stay alive long enough for you to start dragging me into life-threatening situations," Harry laughed.

"I knew you were a smart boy," she joked.

The two took the rest of the afternoon off to fly before Tonks left and Harry waited for his friends to return. Harry had time to think about what Tonks said and about the dream he had that showed Ginny saying she didn't blame him when he was about to curse her. Harry realized he probably would take the dangerous assignments when he became an Auror and with Voldemort still around it would mean there would be good chances of him being hurt. He couldn't become seriously involved with anyone and put them through that. Harry saw how happy Tonks seemed and she didn't have any serious relationship, and this made him think that maybe that's how he should be for a while. He was in fact still very young and thinking about anything serious just didn't seem to fit with what he knew his future would bring, at least not for a while.

Harry waited for the train and saw his friends with Luna get off the train as a group. He quickly walked toward them and noticed Ginny looking very uncomfortable and Hermione not looking that anxious to see him. Ron however seemed normal.

"Hey guys," Harry said. "Did you have a good Holiday? It wasn't the same here without you." Harry was trying in his own way to say he missed them all.

"It was pretty good. Could have used you as another player though," Ron replied in his own way of saying he wished Harry would have came.

"Yeah, that would have been good," Harry said apologizing to Ron.

"Mine was fine Harry," Hermione said slightly coolly.

Now Harry didn't know how to address Ginny. He was still annoyed at her for how she reacted to him but also resigned to put any attempt at a relationship with her out of his mind. "Hi Ginny," Harry simply said, trying to not sound trivial or mean but also not implying that he was completely over her actions.

"We wish you would have come home with us," she replied with a strange look on her face.

"Probably should have," he replied.

Ron quickly started telling him everything that happened during the break. Harry didn't want to tell them about how great he thought his break was as well since it might re-open the issue of him not going to the Burrow. Even after all four eating together, Harry could tell that Hermione wasn't happy with him and that Ginny...Well he couldn't tell exactly what Ginny was thinking. They were in the common room that night when Hermione shut her book, stood up and said, "Can I talk to you for a minute Harry?"

Harry immediately knew this couldn't be good and he turned to Ron for help but his friend just gave him an 'I'm sorry' look. Harry followed Hermione out of the common room before they found a quiet corner of a corridor. "You should have gone with them Harry," Hermione said very sternly. He was about to respond when she continued, "Ginny felt terrible and I know Ron blamed her for causing you to stay. She really wanted to talk to you and apologize. She thinks you hate her now."

"How was I supposed to know she wanted to apologize? All I get is her yelling at me," Harry snapped back.

"You would have known if you wouldn't have kept running away from her at the ball. You really hurt her," Hermione said.

"Me hurt her? What about her Hermione? Why aren't you yelling at her?" Harry heatedly asked.

"You don't know what I say to her Harry, so don't assume things. I'm not talking to you where they can hear and I won't talk about this conversation," she calmly said, causing Harry to realize Hermione wouldn't treat him unfairly.

"You're right. I'm sorry I snapped at you," he admitted.

"Ok, I'm going to say this straight away," Hermione continued. "I think you two could have something really special but you've got to get past this."

"I tried Hermione!" Harry exclaimed. "I can't help it if I'm not smooth asking girls out, but I tried." Harry suddenly remembered his resolution and stopped Hermione before she could say anything else. "But it's probably a good things happened the way they did," he quickly said drawing a confused look from Hermione. "There's just too much going on with me to spend time worrying about stuff like this and she obviously doesn't have a handle on what she wants. I mean Cho cried when she was around me and Ginny just yells. I can't deal with you girls."

"Harry, if you just talk to Ginny I think you can both be happy. You're both stubborn for your own good. Talk to her," Hermione pleaded.

"No Hermione," Harry firmly said. "This isn't just about Ginny. There is really too much going on with me. I don't want to spend time trying to deal with a relationship and worrying about her getting hurt." Harry kicked himself for letting this last part slip.

"Oh, I see," Hermione said realizing exactly what Harry was doing. "Going back to your normal way of thinking. Don't let anyone in because you're afraid."

"Hermione I don't want to have this conversation," Harry firmly stated. "It's really hard enough right now without anything else going on. That's all."

Hermione really wanted to beat it into his head that they all, Ginny included knew the risks but decided to let Harry have this one, for now. "Fine. I tried," she coolly said. "If I hear you complain when she's going out with someone else, I'll make you pay."

"If they're making her happy, I won't complain. If you say anything to Ginny, just hint that maybe it would be good for her to continue on with the Hufflepuff bloke," Harry said before the two stared at each other for a minute and then made their way back to the common room.

Harry wondered if Hermione had indeed said something to Ginny because she never brought up what happened between them and things seemed to go into a tolerate each other kind of agreement. Harry wouldn't leave when Ginny was with his friends but the two rarely talked directly to each other. This was starting to become a little awkward because Ron and Hermione were spending more and more time alone. This was one thing that made Harry genuinely happy. His two best friends didn't fight so much. Well the fights didn't last so long really. They would both start to get into it but then one of them, usually Ron would let a comment slide without replying and things would quickly die down. All in all, Harry was very impressed with Ron and how he was not jumping on things that he would have only a few short months ago.

However, this did cause more times when Ron and Hermione were not around when Harry and Ginny were both in the same room. It generally ended up with them studying or talking to other Gryffindors instead of them paying attention to each other. Harry wouldn't admit it to anyone, but this was really bothering him. He really felt like he could deal with not being in a relationship with Ginny but having so little contact bothered him a great deal. He didn't know if it bothered Ginny at all, but he did think he caught her looking sadly at him on a few occasions.

Studies had increased greatly after the holiday break and in addition to all the normal class work, Kingsley was working Harry harder in Occlumency, trying to help Harry redirect the intrusions so that he could easily lie to Voldemort without the evil wizard knowing it. Harry also worked the D.A. group slightly harder. His work with Tonks showed him how many small things they could all learn that could be the difference between surviving and not. Only Hermione seemed unfazed by all the stress of class and D.A.

Kingsley showed up at a D.A. meeting early February and caused everyone to get excited by what they could learn this time from him. "You have all been learning a lot about hexes, shields and counters, but you haven't really dueled. Professor Dumbledore suggested I oversee a few classes where we could have some actual duels in a controlled environment to make sure no one was seriously hurt." Everyone in the class grew very excited at this. "I don't think we have to worry about anyone in here intentionally hurting each other, but sometimes things happen in a duel."

Kingsley paired people off and watched their technique. After each match, he would suggest things and move people around. Harry had been especially impressed by two people, Blaise and Neville. Blaise turned out to be very good at dueling. She never seemed to hesitate and chose her spells well. Neville seemed to choose his spells well and they were quite powerful; however his slight hesitation before casting caused him to lose many matches.

After the class, everyone seemed pleased with how it went. "You were really good Blaise," Harry said walking out of the room with her.

"But I lost to a Gryffindor," she raised her hand like she choked.

"Well I've had a bit more practice," Harry joked back. "Still, you beat everybody else."

Blaise seemed to be thinking of something and then said, "We had a decent time at the ball, right?" Harry nodded. "Well next week is Valentine's Day and I'm sure there will be a Hogsmeade trip unless something else bad happens. Interested in spending the day with me as friends?"

Harry hesitated for a second, remembering last year. Blaise must have expected this so she quickly added, "I promise we won't go to that tea shop and I won't cry, not even once." Now Blaise was smiling, teasing Harry.

"Ok as long as there's no crying," Harry joked back.

After the Hogsmeade trip was announced next week, Harry noticed Ron fidgeting more around him that night. "What's up Ron?"

"Well, you know that this weekend is Valentine's Day, right?" Ron asked and Harry nodded. "Well, would you mind if...you know..."

"Why don't you and Hermione go by yourselves? I can handle myself," Harry quickly interrupted, guessing his friend's concern.

Ron finally let out a breath and said, "Yeah, thanks mate. Are you going at all?"

"Blaise asked me," Harry said and saw the look on Ron's face so he added, "As friends, that's all. She's not popular with the Slytherins so we're just going to hang out."

"So no hope for you and Ginny?" Ron asked.

"She seems happy with that Hufflepuff guy," Harry said.

"I think his name's Scott or something like that," Ron added sounding proud he knew the name.

Harry found walking around Hogsmeade with Blaise to be really nice and relaxing. He missed Ron and Hermione of course but Blaise was funny and there wasn't any pressure of being on a date. She had tried to drag him into the shop where Cho cried last year and when Harry wouldn't go she faked starting to cry. There had been a couple times where they were about to end up someplace but saw Ron and Hermione so they continued on, wanting to give them time to be alone. Harry also avoided places he thought he might see Ginny and Scott, not wanting to feel jealous of them.

When it was about time to return, Ron and Hermione caught up to Harry and Blaise to catch a carriage back together. Harry noticed that Ginny and Scott weren't too far behind and felt a slight pain in his stomach. They were in a group waiting on the next set of carriages when they heard, "Heard you didn't get lucky after the ball scarhead. Trying to have another go?" Malfoy and his cronies had just walked up.

Blaise squeezed Harry's arm and said, "Don't say anything."

"You're so pathetic Potter. She's a sure thing and even then you couldn't get any," Malfoy said but before the smirk fully filled his face, Harry had pulled out his wand and muttered a hex. People jumped back as a bright red flame shot at the now terrified Slytherin. The heat from the flame was clearly felt, but it didn't strike Malfoy, instead wrapped around his body like a rope, an inch from his skin.

Malfoy opened his eyes and yelled, "What is this?" He started to move but as soon as his skin got any closer to the flame he felt the heat. "Get this off! I can't move!"

Ron was staring at Harry, "That's brilliant! You've got to show me that one."

"We had a deal, no hexing Slytherins," Blaise said, clearly angry.

Many students had now gathered and were laughing at Malfoy. His friends were trying to figure out what to do but couldn't approach the flames. "I thought the deal was for the ball," Harry said honestly believing that.

"It was supposed to be all the time," Blaise angrily said. "I wanted to handle him."

"Fine!" Harry yelled. "I suppose you think I'm acting like an older brother as well." Harry gave Ginny an angry look before he brushed by some students to get in the next carriage.

Ron pulled Hermione into the carriage after Harry. "What about Malfoy?" Hermione asked.

"Who cares!" Ron replied. "Maybe if I hit him with a jelly-legs curse he'll roast himself."

"Ron!" Hermione snarled and then turned to Harry and asked, "Will that wear off?"

"Don't know, it's the first time I tried it," Harry admitted. "I'm sure someone can figure it out."

"Where did you learn that Harry? I've never seen it before," Hermione asked.

Harry didn't want to tell them all that Tonks had been teaching him spells like that so he just said, "I do read you know."

"You've got to teach me that," Ron begged drawing an angry scow from Hermione.

Harry was walking back to the common room after studying in the library later that evening when Professor Snape confronted him at the top of the stairs. "Attacking a student in Hogsmeade, let's see that's fifty points and detention," the Professor coldly said. Harry knew Snape wanted to provoke him into an angry reply but he held his comments. "Now where did you learn that spell? If it was from an restricted book we may just increase your punishment."

"I don't remember....sir," Harry replied, glaring back at the Potions Master.

"Is that so Potter? You don't remember do you?" Snape asked with a sly smile.

"Well sir, sometimes things just pop into my head. You know like Voldemort meeting with Death Eaters and things," Harry replied barely able to hold his anger.

Snape's smile twitched and quickly became a scowl. "There are other ways to find out what I want to know," the now smirking face of Professor Snape said. The Professor quickly raised his wand and said the spell.

It only took a few seconds before Harry realized Snape was trying to look into his thoughts. Harry was just about to shut him out when he heard a somewhat familiar voice in his head say, "show him his own." Somehow Harry knew exactly what the voice meant and tried nudging Snape's probing to the thoughts Harry wanted him to see. Just as they were about there, the voice said, "hold him in it."

With a final nudge, Harry saw the visions and could tell Snape was there as well. Quick flashes of students at Hogwarts. Snape hanging upside down with his dirty grey underpants showing. Snivellus...Snivellus... Harry could feel the probe trying to get out but was able to keep pushing it back. Suddenly he saw a very young version of Snape in front of a man being told he is worthless... There were others and then the sequence started again. Strangely Harry felt a sudden sense of power and actual enjoyment at knowing what was happening. A sudden jolt snapped him back to reality when he heard a booming voice, "Enough!"