Baby Draco

Chapter 3: Dream Team to the Rescue

It was five o'clock in the afternoon, and Draco Malfoy was bored. Had he been in his usual sixteen-year-old body, he would have been frequenting the latest wizarding clubs or playing Quidditch with Zabini. Instead, he was trapped in this useless baby body with only a pink rattle Fred had found earlier to keep him company. Not even those stupid Weasleys were paying any attention to him--each was wrapped up in his or her own thoughts, and all of them were waiting for Hermione's reply. Suddenly, there was the sound of beating wings, and Pigwidgeon swooped in, a letter clutched tightly in his talons.

Ron stood up to take the letter from Pig and read it before letting the rest to see. It was from Harry.

Dear Ron,

I sent Hedwig to Hermione with all those instructions you gave me. I'd watch out if I were you, though--Merlin knows you'll never hear the end of this once she gets a hold of you!

Don't ask me for any parenting tips--I know nothing about the topic, and the Dursleys really weren't the best sort of Muggles to grow up with. All I can say is that I survived Voldemort's curse and that miserable cupboard, so if you screw up too much, it'll be all right, the baby will survive. Just don't let some dark lord chap attack the baby--a scar that marks you for a lifetime isn't all that nice, really!

About the baby being a Malfoy, I guess it's not possible. I mean, you said yourself that Ginny thought the baby was cute, and there's no way MALFOY can be cute! Besides, didn't you notice Ferret's Mum during the Quidditch World Cup? She doesn't seem the type to ruin her figure with another baby, and anyway, one Malfoy's more than enough.

Wish you luck with the baby. Don't kill it.

--Harry

"Yeah, Harry's right. Malfoy cannot be cute," George chuckled. Draco dropped his rattle and glared at him.

'Hey, I heard that! I'm going to kill you, Potter.'

Ginny blushed when she noticed Harry mentioned her name in his letter. "Oh, poor Harry! He has a miserable childhood," she muttered.

Draco groaned - although it sounded like a cute gurgle to the rest. 'Another one of Potter's fans...I almost forgot she worships the ground Scarhead walks on. Ha, what would the saintly Potter say if he knew I touched her twice *there*?'

She suddenly furrowed her eyebrows. Draco blinked.

"Harry called the baby 'it'? Doesn't he know that baby is human?" Her voice was laced with annoyance.

Draco laughed at the comment. 'Potter, don't you know I'm human? Then again, maybe you don't. After all, you're only a stupid wanker...'

"Hey, what are you laughing at, little one?" Ginny asked while poking the baby's side.

'Ouch, that's ticklish!' Draco let out a giggle to his horror. 'Malfoys never giggle!'

Ginny seemed to find something amusing about his laugh. She tickled him again non-stop.

'Hey, stop it! Damn...Draco Malfoy never giggles! STOP IT!'

When she finally stopped, she pinched his chubby cheek and cooed, "You're such a cutiepie!"

'Eergghhh! Cutiepie? That's disgusting...'

She left him on the sofa while she helped her brother in the kitchen. Not long after, Draco felt restless.

He wanted to pee.

And even though he was in the form of a baby, there was no way he would ever pee in his pants. It was disgraceful!

He started to shriek again. It was embarrassing enough to feel helpless but what's a baby Draco to do to get what he wanted? He threw his rattle at Ron, hitting him squarely on his head with a thudding sound.

"Ouch!" he yelped and rubbed the painful spot. Then the redhead approached him with a puzzled expression.

'This is embarrassing.' Draco clenched his jaw and started kicking his trousers down as a clue to what was wrong.

"The trousers disturbing you, little one?" asked Ron. Draco scowled. "Apparently not," Ron muttered to himself.

"Do you need to change your nappy?" he asked again and bent down to check. "Geez, you don't wear nappy. Oh well... George, can you pass me the potty?"

George levitated the potty to Ron. He placed it on the floor and looked at Draco distastefully. "Blimey, I have to help you with this..."

Then Draco realized that Ron Weasley was going to see him naked from the waist down.

'Shit! This is an ultimate humiliation for Draco Malfoy. I am not going to let Ron Weasley see my King Lestat!'

He was going to shriek for help again but he was saved by a snowy white owl soaring elegantly into the room with a big packet from Hermione.

"Will you get that, Ron? I'll help the baby," Ginny suddenly offered. Draco was relieved. Ron left him with Ginny. The girl deftly unbuttoned his pants and unzipped them.

'Much as I hate people seeing me like this, I prefer a girl than Ron Weasley. Umm, she has skilled fingers.'

"Oh, dear! You are big for a little thing like you," Ginny giggled flightily. Draco's eyes widened in disbelief, his ego stroked.

She helped to sit him on the potty and then stood to watch him.

"Why are you blushing, dear? Ooh, it's cute how your cheeks tinged pink when you blush," she rambled. Draco frowned. He never blushed for goodness sake but being watched when you were doing your toilet routine was embarrassing.

A few moments later, he was laid down on the sofa, content and with an empty bladder. Ginny smiled down at him for a moment, admiring the baby-smooth cheeks and his wide-grey eyes before she remembered the owl that had swooped in earlier. Curious, she went back to the kitchen, only to find Ron sitting at the round kitchen table, reading Hermione's letter with serious eyes. The tips of his ears started to turn pink, and soon his whole face was as red as a tomato.

"What are those?" Ginny asked, pointing to the pile of books.

"From Hermione," he answered without making eye contact. Ginny picked up the books and read each of the title. They were Muggle books.

Parenting for Dummies by Sandra Hardin Gookins and Dan Gookins.

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Bringing Up Babies by Signe Larson and Kevin Osborn.

"She's got quite an impressive opinion about you, eh, Ronniekins?!" commented Fred who suddenly stood behind Ginny's back. She chuckled lightly.

"Shut up, Fred!" Ron said, pissed. He threw the letter on the table and proceeded to his room. "Call me when dinner's ready!"

They picked up the letter and read.

Dear Ron,

When are you going to grow up and start being responsible?! You're sixteen, for Merlin's sake, why don't you act like it?! Well, I suppose you deserve this for all the years you've been lax when you really ought to have been studying, but we won't go into that. Just make sure that you don't leave Ginny to do all the dirty work or you'll have it from me--and DON'T let Fred and George pull any pranks on the poor child! ("Hey, we haven't even started!" Fred complained.)

I borrowed these books from my aunt--she had her first child last year, you know. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT WAS TO ASSURE THEM THAT I AM NOT PREGNANT AND THAT I DID NOT MAGICALLY HIDE THE BABY?! My parents nearly had a heart attack when I told them I needed these books! I've never been through so much trouble in my entire life--and it's all your fault!

Ron, how many times do I have to tell you that the Malfoys can have only one child per generation? Honestly, you'd know that if you read your books instead of SCRIBBLING in them... Anyway, your idea is totally absurd. I fully agree with Harry's opinion on Malfoy's Mum. Narcissa Malfoy cares too much about her appearance to even THINK about having another child. Why do you think she was named Narcissa? It comes from the word Narcissus, the name of a youth in Greek Mythology who fell in love with his own reflection while looking into a pool. You really SHOULD learn your history and mythology, you know.

I do hope everything turns out all right with the baby. Read the books I sent you and follow their instructions--I'll look through all my books at home and see if I can find a spell to locate the baby's parents, or at least identify them. Owl me if you need anything, and I'll try my best to help you.

Love from

Hermione

P.S.--Do you have any idea how old he is? It's important to know. Check the growth chart if you don't.

Ginny and Fred turned their heads and eyed the baby with renewed interest after reading Hermione's letter. Ginny flipped the pages to find the growth chart while Fred went over to examine him.

"Does he have any teeth?" Ginny asked. Fred was going to force his mouth opened but the baby automatically opened his own mouth for him.

"Hey, you're a pretty smart kid!" he grinned. "Nope, don't think I see any teeth."

'Of course, stupid! I am a Slytherin and a Malfoy at that.'

"So since I don't think he's newborn, he must be around 3-9 months."

"Well, he's not so small either. Should be at the upper half of that range," Fred observed.

"I haven't heard him saying anything. He's not yet one year old, I guess."

"Okay, he's around 7-9 months. Just make it 8 then. We can't be too sure but I guess we can safely follow the instructions on how to take care an eight months old baby."

'Oh, that's just smashing--I'm not even a year old! I suppose I have to rely on them from now on... I just hope they don't mess up too much. I don't want to end up in St. Mungo's after this whole fiasco.'

"Hey, kiddo! We've decided that you are eight months old," Fred announced.

'Hmm, 8 is a good number for Chinese wizards and witches.'

"If the two of you have finished deciding his age, can you help me with the grilled chicken? I think I've burnt it!" George pleaded helplessly. Ginny giggled.

"I'll help you, George. Fred, you help me prepare the food for the baby."

"What kind of food?" Fred asked nervously.

'Yeah, what food? I'd like some pâté de foie gras, mussels in wine sauce and...'

"Just mash up a banana for him--there's no baby food in the house. Add a little water. Make sure it's very smooth," instructed his sister.

'Mashed banana? Blearrgh! This family is worse that I thought.'

"Like a banana smoothie?" asked Fred. Draco blinked expectantly.

"He's a baby, Fred!" reminded Ginny.

'No, I'm not. Damn that Weasley girl!'

So poor little baby Draco had to bear with mashed banana for his dinner.

~*~*~ *~*~~*~*~ *~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~ *~*~*~*~

"Gin, we found this in the attic," Ron said as he put the red box on Ginny's desk. Ginny, who was doing her Potions homework on the bed, put down her quill and took the box.

Draco looked down at the box as Ginny pulled out a blue romper, then scowled fiercely. All the clothes, once dyed in bright colours of various shades, were now faded and worn. He was not going to wear a hand-me-down--especially a hand-me-down from the Weasleys!

Suddenly, the girl scooped him up from the crib and put him down on her bed.

"It's time for your bath, and I'm going to change this horrible clothing of yours to something more comfortable!" she explained, wagging her forefinger at him.

"His parents are odd. Who would ever dress a baby in all-black?" Ron commented. Sitting at the edge of Ginny's bed, his eyes found the books that Hermione sent on Ginny's bedside table. He started flipping through the pages nonchalantly while Ginny went out to prepare the water for the baby. Apparently, Ron could not find any interesting topics in the book. "These Muggle books are so boring. How can they understand the instructions inside when the pictures can't even move?" he muttered.

After tossing the book aside, Ron started observing the baby again.

"I wonder what your parents call you," he said to Draco. Draco eyed him calculatingly and finally decided to give him the answer. He'd had enough of being called 'little thing', 'little one', 'kiddo' and especially 'cutiepie'.

He tried to roll over so he could lie on his stomach. Ron seemed to notice that and gave him a bit of assistance. From his earlier observations, Draco had noticed that Ginny had a small collection of plush toys on her bed and one of them was a stuffed dragon. Under normal circumstances, he would be laughing at her childishness, but it came in handy for him now.

Draco let out a yelp of excitement as he found what he wanted and started crawling towards it. Ron furrowed his eyebrows, trying to understand what was happening. The enchanted dragon miniature responded to his calling, walking forward and fuming pink smoke out of his nostrils.

The baby let out a shrill sound again. Trying his luck, Ron helped him up to a sitting position. The purple dragon moved closer and Draco hugged him, muttering incoherently.

"What are you saying, kid?" Ron asked. Draco pointed at the purple dragon. Ron frowned. "What's with the dragon?"

'Urghh..how dense can you be? I'm trying to answer your question, pillock!'

He patted his chest proudly and pointed at the dragon again. Ron's jaw dropped and his eyes widened in disbelief.

"Oh, no...don't tell me!" he stuttered. At the same time the door was opened and Ginny entered the room.

"Are you okay, Ron? You look pretty baffled there," she commented while placing a blue baby bathtub on the cleared desk.

"Bwahahahahaha!" Ron suddenly burst into a hysterical laugh, clutching his stomach as he lay down on the bed. Puzzled, Ginny raised her eyebrows. "My goodness," was all that he managed to say. The baby pouted and looked up unhappily at her brother.

"Ronald Weasley!" she raised her voice, "Have you been playing pranks on this little baby? You immature, callous..."

Ron wiped his teary eyes and muttered a response with much difficulty, "Dragon."

"What?" she snapped. Ron took in a deep breath and finally managed to compose himself.

"His parents called him Dragon," he explained.

'Finally! Honestly, Weasel, if you were any slower, you'd be going backward.'

"How d'you knowthat?" asked Ginny. Ron shrugged.

"I asked him and he told me," he answered. "Only people like the Malfoys would name their son Dragon. By Merlin, who'd ever want to be named something like Draco? Well, besides Draco Malfoy of course."

And at that time, Ron felt a mild blow on his thigh. Apparently, the baby shoved the stuffed dragon at him.

'Think my name is funny, do you? It's so much better than Ronald Weasley. Ronald is so...common. But of course, it suits you perfectly, Weasel!'

"Dragon?" Ginny called hesitantly. Draco turned his head and looked at the smiling redhead girl. "So they call you Dragon, hmm? That's a rather large name for a small babe like you."

'I was born to be big. What can I say?'

Ron wrinkled his nose, "Gin, I've a feeling that this baby understands more than we think he can."

"Of course he understands! Baby can sense many things," Ginny said and glared at him, "like when you insult his name."

Ron shook his head. "No, I mean he really understands what we're saying. He's not normal."

Draco gulped. Obviously, he had revealed too much. Even though he wanted to be rescued from the situation as soon as possible, he did not want Weasley to know that he was there all along in the form of a baby. No, it wouldn't do. Weasley could blackmail me for the rest of my years in Hogwarts, what with all the incidents that have happened here.

"You're talking absolute rubbish, Ron. He's just a little above average intelligence, that's all," Ginny said while she lifted Draco and laid him down on the bed. "It's time for you, little Dragon, to have a nice warm bath!"

"Careful, Gin! It's not easy bathing a baby," Ron suddenly said.

"How d'you know that? You never bathed me when I was little, right?" she asked while unbuttoning his shirt. Ron cleared his throat and looked away.

"Well, I read that in the book," he admitted sheepishly. Ginny grinned.

"So you do care, huh?" Ginny asked. She removed her hands from Draco's shirt - to his relief - and stared at Ron. He did not answer but she would not let him get away so easily. "Or is it because Hermione threatened you into helping me?" Draco blinked, expecting an answer from Ron. He heard a choking sound coming from the red-haired boy.

"No, of course not. I always have a soft spot for baby," he said nervously. Ginny stifled her laugh.

"If you said so. Just stay around here to watch me while I help him bathe... or do you want to do it for me?" she asked. Draco paled and his eyes nearly popped out of their socket.

'NO! I don't want him to touch me! I don't even want him in this bleeding room while I'm bathing! Damn it all, I won't let Ron Weasley see me stark naked!'

Ron scratched his head nervously.

"You mean I'm supposed to bathe him?" he asked stupidly. Ginny nodded.

"Yeah," she answered. Ron started to scratch his head again.

"Well, erm..."

'Just say NO! Please say N-O...Merlin! I'm begging Ron Weasley here. This is too much for me to take...'

==================TBC===================