The Story of Blaise Zabini

Chapter 19

A Surprising Announcement

If I thought making up with my dad was hard, making up with Draco was undoubtedly going to be almost impossible. Especially since I hadn't sent him a single letter over the summer; well, I was waiting for him to make the first move.

Anyway, I saw Draco on the train in September. He was sitting with his arm around Pansy. I managed not to cry right there, but once I got back to my compartment - I was sharing with Lydia, but Jeff was off with some of his friends - I burst into tears and Lydia knew at once what was wrong. So I spent the entire journey alternating between crying and staring out of the train window aimlessly, while Lydia chattered in the background.

Right, I'm being pathetic; so what if Draco and Pansy are getting all cosy together again? It's not like it's the end of the world. It just means Draco is still the same person he was in our first year, and Pansy will always be a stupid, conniving slut.

Once we were seated in the Great Hall, and the Sorting was over and done with, the feast began. I picked at my food, simultaneously feeling sick and starving at the same time. Draco and Pansy were - surprise, surprise - seated at the other end of the table, talking amongst themselves quietly. Rather than look at them, I stared moodily at my plate, viciously carving lines into the wooden table in anger.

Lydia kept glancing at me worriedly through dinner, until Jeff sauntered down to our end of the table and sat with us. Lydia immediately turned her back on me, and chattered happily with him, and when dinner was over, she and Jeff walked off, leaving me behind.

Up in our dormitory, Pansy was talking quietly with Millicent Bulstrode. When I walked in, they stopped quickly and began unpacking their stuff, but I know they were talking about me. You'd have to be thicker than a troll not to realise that.

A while later, Lydia danced in. I was curled up in bed; Pansy and Millicent were still talking in those same hushed voices over in the corner.

"Hi Pansy, Millicent," Lydia practically sang in greeting. I stared at her. So did Pansy and Millicent.

They gave a cautious hello, then went back to talking. I glared at Lydia as she sat on the end of my bed.

"What?" she asked innocently, as though she hadn't just stabbed me in the back repeatedly.

"Oh nothing," I said sarcastically. "Nothing at all."

"Is this about Malfoy?" Lydia asked after a pause.

"No," I almost shouted. "This is about our friendship!"

"Blaise ... what are you talking about?"

Lydia stared at me helplessly, as though she really couldn't figure out why I was so angry with her. To tell the truth, I really don't know why I'm shouting at her. She's just happy and in love, and I can't bear to see everyone else happy when I'm not. I know it's selfish, but I'm sick of caring.

Instead of answering her, I pulled the blankets tighter around me. Lydia was still watching me, bewildered.

"What are you talking about?" she asked again, her voice quiet.

"Nothing," I muttered. "Just ... just forget it."

"No! Tell me what you meant!"

I rolled over in bed, desperate to avoid her eyes. It's not that I was ashamed - although I pretty much was - but I was afraid I'd tell her about what Pansy and Jeff had done last year. Lydia didn't need to know that, so I needed to keep my mouth shut.

I think Pansy must have realised what I was trying not to say, because she suddenly cut Millicent off, and reached over to tap Lydia on the arm. Lydia whirled around, saw Pansy, and asked, "What?" rather more forcefully than she'd intended, I think.

Pansy smiled sympathetically, while I glared at her darkly. "Lydia, maybe it's best if you leave Blaise alone."

"What?" Lydia said again, narrowing her eyes at Pansy's sudden concern for someone other than herself.

"She's in a bad state right now, what with -" Pansy broke off, beckoning Lydia forwards, "- what with me and Draco getting back together."

She said it in a whisper, but I heard it alright. Rather than give Pansy the benefit of seeing me lose it with her, I sniffed haughtily.

"You're welcome to him," I shrugged. "I'm sure he's only after a bit of mindless fun, anyway."

That seemed to incense her more than punching her would have done. Her face turned a dark shade of red, and she gave me a look that would ordinarily have made me want to slap her face, but now it just made me laugh.

Lydia gave me a questioning look, but I ignored her. I was just suddenly so tired that I laid back down, falling asleep almost as soon as my head touched the pillow.

***

It wasn't until the morning that I thought about what Pansy had said. So. She and Draco really were back together. Fine; I can deal with that. And even if I can't, I'll have to.

Breakfast was the usual noisy affair; without a word I sat down next to Lydia, pulling a plate of bacon and eggs towards me. Lydia said nothing either, and I wondered if we'd made an unspoken agreement not to talk about what happened last night. Which is just as well, really, because I'm not sure I want to.

So, first lesson was Charms and I walked with Lydia to Professor Flitwick's classroom. When we got there, we found Pansy in my seat, chattering loudly to Morag MacDougal, the only Ravenclaw worthy enough to be friends with a Slytherin.

This was the last straw; first she'd taken away the privilege of going into Hogsmeade - well, she may as well have - then she'd taken away my boyfriend, and now she was just taking my seat. Well, sure it's not the end of the world, but it's damn annoying and Pansy needs to be dealt with.

So I stormed up to her, fixing her with such a hate-filled glare that Morag actually backed away. Not that I was in any mood to care. Pansy stared at me evenly, not moving from my seat and not saying anything.

"You're in my seat," I said quietly, but I was trying to stop the anger coming through.

"So?" Pansy sneered. "Find another."

"No, I sit in this one," I argued back.

"Well, tough. I'm sitting here."

I leant forwards, close enough so that she couldn't miss a thing.

"Pansy, I don't give a damn about your personal vendetta against me. For that matter, I don't give a damn about that ugly pug-face of yours, either." I smirked as her face twisted into an angry grimace. "Get the hell out of my seat before I make you," I added, still in an undertone so Flitwick wouldn't hear me.

With a disgusted look, Pansy flounced out of my seat and into another at the back. I wasn't going to kid myself into thinking that she'd gotten up because of my threat. No, Pansy isn't easily threatened, that I do know.

After Charms, I had Arithmancy and Draco's in that class, which was just brilliant. Lydia wasn't in that class, but actually, I was pretty glad of that. We'd exchanged conversation, yeah, but it was only about homework, as though we were barely friends.

I sat in my usual seat, at the back - thankfully, Pansy isn't in Arithmancy either - keeping my eyes resolutely away from the back of Draco's head. He didn't look around either, but then, he didn't talk as much as he usually would have done.

About halfway through the lesson, I was distracted by a loud whisper. Theodore Nott, one of the other Slytherin sixth years, was trying to catch Draco's attention. He succeeded, of course; Draco's biggest failing has to be his insatiable curiosity.

"Hey, Draco!" Theodore hissed, when Professor Vector was busy with one of the Hufflepuffs.

I saw Draco turn slightly in his seat and say, "What?"

"I heard you're back with Pansy," Theodore answered, glancing over at Vector to make sure she was still preoccupied with another student.

"Yeah, so?" Draco said coolly.

"Good on you," Theodore grinned. "Better than that other bird you had."

I bristled in my seat, but rather than get up and pound Jacob's head into his desk, I slouched further down into the hard-backed wooden chair.

Glaring at the sheet of parchment, I heard Draco say, "Thanks," but he didn't sound too enthusiastic.

I feel like screaming. For Merlin's sake, is everyone just out to piss me off today? First Pansy, now Theodore Nott! It'd be nice to get a break sometime.

Anyway, after Arithmancy, the bell rang for break and I ran out of that classroom so fast, I knocked into a few people. Stumbling backwards, and making a mad grab for my bag, which was slipping off my shoulder, I opened my mouth to shout abuse at the people I'd walked into.

Which, of course, I would've done, had I not been distracted by Draco's agitated voice.

"Potter, are you blind as well as mental?" he practically shouted. Everyone stared, including me.

Potter and his friends, Granger and Weasley, were just as nonplussed as I was. It was this, plus all the shit I'd had to deal with yesterday and today, that made me toss a sneer in Draco's direction.

"Fuck, Draco, I didn't know you cared," I spat.

There was a small ripple of laughter from the crowd that had stopped to see the action. Even Potter, Weasley and Granger managed a smile. Draco, however, didn't so much as blink. Before I knew it, he'd stormed off in the opposite direction, leaving an astonished crowd in his wake.

I thought about slinking away unnoticed, but I now had three inquisitive Gryffindors to contend with. Ignoring them completely, I headed off to the Slytherin common room without a backward glance.

I suppose it was too much to hope that Draco and I still had a chance together.

***

The first week back at school is always a nightmare, but it's never this bad. Without Draco, I've got nothing to do while Lydia's off snogging Jeff. Pansy's still having those intensely private chats with Draco, I'm still not allowed in the village and my first bit of homework is late. Oh, but Millicent Bulstrode is dating a seventh year named Mason Something-or-Other, which, you know, is pretty exciting stuff. Not.

Speaking of Millicent ... she and Pansy are staring my way right now, and strangely they haven't got the familiar looks of scorn on their faces. Ha, now there's a miracle. Millicent is nudging Pansy sharply with her thick elbows and scowling in her typically blunt way. Pansy keeps nodding and saying, "Yeah, alright, Millie, I know!"

Eventually, after Millie had nudged Pansy about ten or twenty times, Pansy glanced around the common room, then started making her way over to me. I was so shocked that a) Pansy would even bother coming anywhere near me, and b) that she'd think I wouldn't end up punching her ugly lights out.

So it was with equal amounts of trepidation, curiosity and anger that I watched her as she sat down gingerly on the other end of the sofa I was sitting on.

"Hello," she said awkwardly.

"What d'you want?" I said bluntly, because there had to be a reason Pansy was talking to me like I was a human being.

This seemed to stop her in her tracks, and she glanced around nervously at Millicent, who stared stonily back.

"I-I ... there's something I need to tell you," Pansy said eventually. "It's about Draco."

"Right," I said sarcastically, because, obviously this was bullshit. "I'm sure there is."

"Er ..." That's weird, I've never known Pansy to hesitate over her words. But I put it down to her conniving ways, and glared at her for good measure.

"Yeah?" I said, with a touch of belligerence.

"Look, you know how I've been talking to him the past couple of days?" she eventually burst out impatiently. I nodded. "Well, it was about you - every single conversation was about you. Draco couldn't go two words without mentioning your name."

I stared at her, waiting for her to laugh in that cold, malicious way of hers, and for her to run back over to Millicent, and watch as they giggled over my stupidity. But she didn't. She simply met my blank look with a steady gaze, and gave a sort of wistful smile.

"It's true," she said quietly. "I did try to manipulate him into ... forgetting about you. Ha, fat chance." She said this last part a bit too bitterly for my liking, but I was still stunned by what she was saying.

"W-what d'you mean?" I croaked, my vocal chords having lost the ability to talk in my surprise.

"Draco fancies you like mad," Pansy said frankly. "Always has. D'you know what the last thing he said to me was?" I shook my head, obviously, since I had no idea. "He said that his best dress robes reminded him of your hair." She made a disgusted face; "He is sick-makingly in love with you, Blaise. It's ridiculous, the effect you have on him."

"B-but he ... and he wouldn't -" I spluttered.

"Oh for the love of Merlin!" Pansy sighed exasperatedly. "Put him out of his misery and get back with him! I've known Draco for fifteen years now, and it's so not like him to lust after a girl he supposedly doesn't like."

"But what should I do?" I asked, completely ignoring the fact that this was Pansy I was talking to and asking the advice of.

"Well, for starters, you could get your arse up off this sofa and go find him," Pansy grinned. "And then I'd say a little making up would do the trick." She gave me a gentle nudge towards the stone wall that lead out of the common room.

"Um ..." I muttered, because just earlier I'd been threatening her with violence. "Why are you -"

"Because I'm sick of hearing Draco mention everything about you. It's bloody annoying!"

"Oh," I said quietly, a warm feeling creeping into my stomach. It took me a second to realise that it was happiness. Pure, inexorable happiness. I almost laughed out loud, but I jumped up instead.

"I'm going to go and find him," I said hurriedly to Pansy, with no idea why I was telling her of all people. She smiled knowingly as I half-ran out of the common room.

Once out in the corridor though, I faltered. It was one thing to say I was going to find Draco, but it was another thing entirely to actually find him in a castle as big as Hogwarts. I mean, there are rooms that no one's ever been in, and others that keep changing around when you leave them. And then there are others that only let you in at a certain time; it's crazy, but that's Hogwarts for you.

Okay, so where would I go if I was Draco? Stupid question; he'd be off bullying some of the lower years, just because he's in a bad mood and because he can. Stupid git, I thought fondly, setting off to search for him.

I eventually found him on the fifth floor. He was bullying someone, but it definitely wasn't any younger kid. Draco, being who he was, hadn't picked a fight with someone below sixth year, oh no; that would have been far too easy. Instead, being Draco, he was currently in the middle of a heated verbal spar with Potter and his mates. Typical.

Pressing myself against the wall, I listened carefully to what they were saying.

"... 'cause you girlfriend can't stand the sight of you, doesn't mean you have to force yourself on everyone else."

Ouch. Weasley had certainly struck a nerve with that jibe. I sneaked a glance around the corner, expecting to see Weasley's unconscious body fall to the floor. Instead, I saw Draco laugh mockingly even as the remark stung.

"She's not my girlfriend Weasel, so I think you should take that back," he said darkly, taking his wand out.

It's interesting to feel the different effects Draco has on me, you know. Listening to him now, I get this pathetic little shiver of anticipation just from the dark tone of his voice. If I wasn't so keen on getting him back, I'd probably kill him for what he does to me.

"Nah, I don't think I will," Weasley said cockily, and I almost wanted Draco to hex him into next week for being like that.

"Take. It. Back." Even Potter could see that Draco was serious this time.

"Er, Ron, maybe we should just - " Granger started to say soothingly, but Weasley cut her off.

"What can he do, Hermione? If he so much as waves his wand at us, he's in for it. I don't see any problem."

"Ron, c'mon; Malfoy's being an arse. It doesn't mean you have to, as well." Potter spoke up and started trying to pull Weasley away.

Stepping away from the wall and into the furore in the corridor, I coolly observed Potter, Granger and Weasley's identical looks of curiosity. Draco barely threw a glance in my direction, but I was about to remedy that.

"Granger, I don't know about you," I started, talking to the only one with a bit of sense, "but I'm getting pretty fed up of the testosterone around here."

Granger fixed Weasley with a sharp look.

"See, even she knows how much of an idiot you're being," she said to him frankly.

Weasley muttered something, but I stopped listening. My entire attention was fixed on Draco, who was trying not to notice that I was looking at him.

I sidled up to him casually, looping an arm through his. He looked around at me, eyebrows raised and a small smirk appearing at the corners of his mouth.

"Draco, I thought you knew you aren't supposed to pick fights with unfair advantages?" I grinned. "You could've done some damage to Potter and Weasley here."

"D'you know Blaise," he said, "I think they would've done more damage to themselves."

I heard a splutter of rage from Weasley as Potter and Granger began to drag him away.

"Fair enough," I shrugged. "Anyway, I think it's about time we left, don't you?"

"Well, we clearly have things to talk about," he murmured, catching my drift immediately. "So I'd say you were right."

I think we managed about thirty seconds before we practically jumped on each other. And even then, it felt like an age before I was jammed up against a wall, Draco's mouth hot on mine, my fingers tangled in his hair.
In between kisses, I mumbled breathless apologies that made no sense whatsoever, and Draco explained that, after my fight with Pansy, he hadn't been angry at me, but at Pansy. He said he was so infuriated at the depths to which she'd sunk to get back at him that he hadn't known which to do first - hex Pansy, or himself for letting her get to him through me.
"I had words with her, you know," Draco said later, when we were curled up on one of the common room sofas. "I told her she was a spoiled, immature bitch, and that she'd better stop meddling in my love life."
"And she listened to you?" I asked sceptically. If there's one thing I know about Pansy, it's that she doesn't respond to verbal threats.
"I think it was the hex I used on her, actually," Draco said, with a small smile, but he refused to say exactly which spell he had used on her.
I got the impression that Pansy would never be the same again.