Chamber of Secrets Edit

He pulled Harry's wand from his pocket and began to trace it through the air, writing three shimmering words: "Tom Marvolo Riddle." He gave the wand a series of flicks and swishes and the words rearranged to, "more old Vimto lard."

"Umm... that's nice," said Harry.

Tom Riddle frowned and waved the wand again.

The letters shuffled themselves again to read, "Troll vroom - ma died."

"Oh... that's unfortunate," said Harry. "But what does that have to do with me?"

Tom shot Harry a look of pure contempt before starting again to make slower deliberate movements with the wand. The words anagrammed into, "Trevor laid old mom."

"I don't see how Neville's toad is involved..."

Harry appeared not to have noticed the exasperated expression on Tom's face. Subsequent attempts led to, "I Tom, loved Mr Roald" and "Motel Room Lair DVD" with comments from Harry to the effect of, "Yeah, he wrote really good stories, especially the one about the Chocolate Factory" and "I haven't seen it, but I get a feeling I'm a bit young for that one..."

Riddle looked absolutely livid.

The motion of the wand was but a blur in front of Harry's face as Tom furiously attempted to correct the words in front of him. As Harry watched open-mouthed he saw the words changing to, "Marmite rod ov doll"; "Drool lover dammit" and "Am Mort - dildo lover".

"Are you mad at me?"

Tom was now going red in the face, unblinking, literally shaking with rage. Harry only caught single words as a torrent of letters tornadoed in the air inches from his face - 'Devil'; 'vomited'; 'L'Oreal'; dilated'; 'toddler'; 'Motorola'; 'violated'; 'deviator' until the last words Harry saw were 'motordrome' and 'meliorator'.

The wand clattered to the ground. Tom had fallen on bended knees, sobbing with his face in his hands. "I can't do it," he cried.

"That's ok," said Harry reassuringly, clutching Tom's shoulder. "We all make mistakes, and the Anagramageus charm is not the easiest to work at the best of times."

He picked up the fallen wand and demonstrated.

"What you were doing is, 'swish, flick, wiggle, swish, flick, wiggle'. What you want to do is, 'swish, wiggle, flick, flick, wiggle, swish'," explained Harry, motioning in the air as he spoke.

"Now go on - you try," said Harry smiling, handing back the wand.

Tom swallowed and reluctantly accepted the wand.

"Just remember it's flick before wiggle, except after swish."

Riddle nodded but didn't make a sound, focusing intently on the task in hand.

The words in the air shimmered again and rearranged themselves to reveal: "I am Lord Voldemort"

"See, told you, you could do it!" Harry beamed.

Suddenly, a look of comprehension dawned across Harry's face.

"Shit."