Victims, Aren't We All

                    Victims, Aren't We All                    

                    Chapter 1: Deadly Games

March 11th

It was a fine day at Hogwarts School of witchcraft and wizardry. The bitterly cold winter was finally beginning to move on making room for spring. This was the first nice weekend of the year and many students were taking advantage of it. Some were sprawled out on the lawn near the lake basking in the sun, others were sitting quietly in the shade and some were even playing with the giant squid that lived in the lake. The activities of the students ranged from shameless relaxation, talks of Quidditch and the up coming Spring Holiday, to studying. It seemed like everyone was outside enjoying the start of spring.

One of the students from Slytherins House was finishing up her lunch in the Great Hall while reading an article in the Daily Prophet. She snorted as she threw the paper aside leaving it for one of the many house elves and decided she too needed some air. While many of the students were out on the lawn most of the Slytherins had sought privacy at the top of the Astronomy tower.

"There you are Kimberly!" As she reached the roof she spotted her friend and fellow Slytherins Areas Nott. While he was only a 4th year they knew each other through a few clubs and became very close. The younger brunette glanced at his bag then over his shoulder to make sure no one was in earshot.

"I trust you read the paper this morning." Kimberly Avery closed her eyes and tried to calm herself.

"Yes I saw it, what are we going to do about it?"

"What can we do? Fudge is just covering it all up! After everything we’ve done, everything..." He broke off trying to will himself not to cry. It wasn't a good idea to cry in this House; in fact it was pretty dangerous. Showing weakness was the last thing one should show around Death Eater children. He should know: they were both one of these damned children. They were not alone though, they found a few others that thought like them but were never sure who to trust. They were lost with no one to turn to, no one to trust and nowhere to run. This Easter holiday was when the Dark Lord was heavily recruiting and no doubt their parents would sell them to the devil for a higher place in his inner circle along with their older and more willing brothers.

"Hey, Pansy, Nott get down from there." Their conversation came to a halt as they turned to see Pansy Parkinson and Areas's older brother Theodor Nott standing on the edge of the tower playfully pretending to jump. Seems as if they thought it was funny to try and scare some Hufflepufs on the lawn below. Some of there friends were laughing since they were in on the joke.

"What are you trying to do, pull a Liza?" One of the boys teased. Soon the crowd of Slytherins all joined in on the new conversation.

"Where is she anyway?" asked a younger girl from her class.

"Didn't you read the paper? She was sent home sick last week but yesterday she and her little sister fell in front of one of those underground muggle trains. I heard they were sliced into pieces."

"Yuck that's so gross!"

"Do you mind? I was eating over here!"

"What were they doing in muggle London anyway?"

"Who knows, maybe they were running from 'him'."

"Hey, keep you voice down!"

"Seriously, I bet they jumped because they got cold feet."

"Or maybe they were pushed because they knew something they shouldn't."

"Still doesn’t explain what they were doing in 'muggle' territory."

"Maybe they just wanted out and this was all they could think of."

"Seems a little desperate if you ask me."

The conversations were mixed with cruel jokes, indifference and frightened lies. It was hard to tell just who really didn't care that two of their classmates were dead and who was too scared to speak their minds. It was a quick lesson most Slytherins learned very early on. But that was one of the problems when you only associate with people just like you. Many people believe this tradition helps bring out the best for every student but is also helps to create harsh stereotypes that often don't wash away. And if a few students from the 'evil' house didn't think the same way who would believe them?

Pansy Parkinson stepped back up onto the ledge. "Why don't we all just throw ourselves to our death to escape the horrors of this world!" Some people were laughing, while others were cheering her on. "Who's with me?" Theodor rejoined her on the narrow ledge.

"I'm in! Who else will fly to freedom with us?" Millicent Bulstrode laughing all the way quickly joined him. They looked down and could see their antic was drawing a crowd. Some were even shouting 'jump' and clapped as if to encourage them. Kimberly dropped her bag and made her way to ledge.

"Honestly, you guys have no intention of really doing it." She stepped up on the ledge and looked straight ahead. "Let me show you how it's done." By now most of the Slytherins were cheering and a few other just hung to the side trying to ignore this shameful display. Areas Nott joined Kim thronging his hands in the air.

"I'm dying now!" His brother clapped as another boy and girl joined the group. Pansy turned around and motioned to Malfoy.

"Come on Draco don't be a git, get up here." The blond was one of the ones standing in the back trying not to take any interest.

"Count me out."

The girl smirked. "What, you scared?"

"Never know who might decide to give me a little push."

She stuck out her tongue. "You're no fun at all." And with that she turned to face the lawn below. Kim took Areas's hand and smiled.

"OK, let's show them what we're made of." Draco cringed at the bad pun.

"On the count of three. One, two, three...

                        * * * *

Harry, Ron and Hermione were heading out to the lawn to enjoy the nice weather before it started to rain again. As they were passing a large window a voice caused them to stop. "Potter a word if you will?" It was Snape, Harry’s least favorite teacher.

"What do you want 'sir'" he practically spat momentarily forgetting he was addressing a teacher.

"I would watch my tongue if I were you Potter, in fact I think 20 points should remind you-"

"AAHHH!" Snape was cut off by Hermione's shriek. They turned to the window just in time to see several bodies speeding to the ground. They landed with a sickening crunch, spraying a large amount of blood on the windowpane. The shock only lasted for a moment with the Potions professor; his quarrel with Harry forgotten, he rushed to the door with speed no one knew he had.

Harry was staring blankly at the window still dripping with the crimson liquid not certain what he saw was really happening. Hermione sank to her knees her hand held over her mouth trying to keep herself from screaming. Ron was either very brave or still in shock as he slowly walked up to the window and took a good look at what had fallen. “Please be an animal, please be an animal,” he chanted to himself as he opened his eyes. He was shocked to see the twisted limbs of what were unmistakably several Hogwarts students. How many he couldn't really tell. He suddenly felt his lunch coming up and quickly emptied his stomach. By now there were teachers running towards the exit in a mad rush to try and save the jumpers.

Harry thought he heard someone yelling something then the crowd outside started screaming. Just then they saw another body fall. It fell with such force one of the arms tore off and crashed through the window. The trio jumped back in horror trying to avoid the stray limb. Hermione could not hold back her screams any more.

                            * * * *

Two minuets earlier…

High atop the Astronomy tower the crowd of Slytherins students stood in shocked silence. Only a moment ago seven students made their way to the ledge to play a very deadly game. A game only in jest, initially, but now instead of 7, 4 stood alone. Pansy Parkinson sank to her knees trembling.

"It... It was only a joke. It was...supposed to be a joke." Still shaking Draco Malfoy had enough sense to pull her down before she fell on her own. Theodor Nott just stared down at the heap of dead bodies, his brain only now registering that his little brother was among them. Millicent Bulstrode put a hand to her mouth, tears threatening to burst from her eyes. Kimberly on the other hand glanced back at her fellow classmates and smiled. Turning back she shouted what would be her greatest and most memorable protest.

"TO THE FALL OF VOLDEMORT!"

And then she jumped.

                            * * * *

At the sight of another student leaping to her death the crowd below broke out of their shocked stupor and started screaming. The noise drew Hagrid out of his hut in time to see the girl hit the ground. His eyes widened in terror as the other students started pointing and yelling. The half giant took a moment before racing to the scene. He panicked when he saw two students still standing on the ledge as if they were debating on jumping.

"Don't do it!" cried out a student quickly followed by a sea of children shouting for the two remaining students to get down.    

"Get down from there!"

"It won't solve anything!"

Hagrid was a bit relieved when one of the students was grabbed her friends to prevent her from falling. He ran into the Great Hall only to be greeted by Professor McGonagall. "What's going on? What’s all this shouting?"

Hagrid took a deep breath before speaking. "Merlin's beard Minerva, I just saw a girl fall from the tower and I think she might have jumped!"

"Good Heavens, go and get Professor Dumbledoor right away!" Hagrid wasted no time and bolted for the wizard's office. Minerva wasn't even out the door when Severus Snape shot like a bullet from the hallway and stopped in front of her.

"Minerva, what the hell's going on? I just saw several students fall in front of the hall window!"

"Several? Oh dear Lord! Hagrid thinks they might have jumped!"

"What?" He brushed passed her and when he reached the lawn he saw a crowd pointing towards the top of the tower where one figure was still standing on the ledge. Severus whipped out his wand and conjured up a magic net under them in case he decided to jump. Luckily the figure was both brought down and moved away by his peers. The danger now passed Snape looked at the spot below and gasped as he saw the remains of several students. He couldn't tell how many but he knew they were his. Just an hour ago a small group from his house said they were going to the tower to enjoy the good weather and many of his other students thought it was a good idea.

He closed his eyes not bearing the sight of all the blood and the sounds of the screaming.

"By Merlin!" came a voice from behind him. There looking shocked and lost for the first time in his life stood the Headmaster.

                            * * * *

March 12th

It took some time to get all the students back to their dorms since a few had fainted while others were still in shock. Poor Pavarti Patil had rushed to see if the first three jumpers were still alive but didn't get out of the way fast enough when the forth jumped. She was only slightly scratched up but panicked when she realized she was lying under a dead body. It took hours for her to calm down. Those who witnessed the events were retelling it to those who weren't there. They all said they thought it was a prank after seeing some of them pretend several times before the horrid event. But what really struck a cord with everyone was the last girl, Kimberly Avery, and how she denounced the Dark Lord with her final breath.

In the end four Slytherins were dead. There were many guesses as to why the most popular ones were the ones that jumped; the most prevalent guess being that they were trying to avoid becoming Death Eaters. Harry sat alone as he watched Ron trying to comfort Hermione. Their actions had weighed heavily on his mind. Were they so desperate to escape the felt the only way out was to kill themselves? The war was barley under way but he was beginning to see, there were many types of victims and many more to come.

                            * * * *

In the office of Professor Dumbledore, Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge met with the Headmaster to discuss the tragic incident. Professor Severus Snape was there as well since all of the students were from his house. After telling Fudge what had occurred he insisted on seeing the children involved. Inwardly Snape cringed at the thought of the royal idiot asking his students anything but he had little choice in the matter.

Pansy Parkinson, Millicent Bulstrode, and Theodor Nott were called to the Headmaster's office for questioning. The girls were both in tears and Theodor looked pale as if he might throw-up at any moment. Fudge cleared his thought.

"Now who was the one who started this whole thing?" Millicent and Theodor looked to Pansy who gulped and took a breath.

"It wasn't my fault sir! I was joking around and everyone knew it. I had done it a few times before the others joined in." She sobbed into her handkerchief before continuing. "I didn't think they were serious, no one did. They were laughing and cheering and then they just..." The girl broke down in tears and Fudge patted her on the shoulders.

"There, there dear." He looked at the other students and paused before asking his next question. "Is that what really happened?" They all nodded. The Minister straightened his tie and looked around the room.

"Well now, it seems clear that this was a simply a tragic accident." The girls stopped crying and looked up sure they had heard wrong. Theodor's mouth dropped at Fudge's assessment of the situation. Dumbledore was silent but Professor Snape was outraged.

"What!" he shouted momentarily forgetting his place.

"Yes, very tragic. An innocent game turns tragic for three children and the shock causes the fourth to fall. So sad." The man continued as if he hadn’t heard Snape's outburst. "Be sure that's what's going in the Daily Prophet." He said to one of the Aurors next to him.

At this Theodor jumped up outraged. "Tragic accident?" The seventeen year old shouted. "What the fuck are you on? Half the school saw them JUMP!"

"Watch your language young man! Do you know who you are addressing?" Cried the Auror moving his hand to his wand.

"That was no accident-" but Fudge cut him off.

"My boy you are still in shock after the loss of your fellow classmates-"

"I lost my little BROTHER you pompous-" The Auror moved in front of the minister placing his wand at the youth's chest.

"Another move and you'll find yourself in Azkaban kid."

"ENOUGH OF THIS!" roared an infuriated Headmaster. "You will not touch ANY of my students under this roof while I'm around! Is that understood?" The Auror gulped and backed away not wanting to be on the receiving end of who was arguably the most powerful living wizard in the world.

Fudge took a deep breath and wiped his brow with his handkerchief. "Now now, there's no need for violence. Emotions are running high and outbursts are to be expected." Nott was still infuriated but seeing as how nothing was going to change and no one was going to help him he stormed out of the office slamming the door behind him.

After the boy's sudden departure Dumbledore called the Minister into his office for a private discussion on the matter. Before he left the room however he nodded slightly signaling for Severus to remain. Snape got the message but didn't reply. Pansy wiped her eyes and stood up.

"May I be excused professor?" Snape nodded and the girl went down the stairs and was making her way to her room when she heard a voice.

"Pansy!" She turned to see her best friend running to meet her. "How was it, you're not in trouble are you?" Pansy flashed her a wicked grin.

"Course not it was just an accident after all." Melissa Ferguson looked confused for a moment.

"Accident? But I saw...don't tell me you really did-"

"Oh of course not but Fudge is either the biggest idiot in Britain or he knows something about why Avery and the others offed themselves." They talked casually as they neared the entrance to the Slytherins dorms.

"You going to be OK? You seemed really shook up about it." The girl giggled but tried to keep her voice down.

"It would had looked really bad if it seemed like I didn't care. Better to play the tragic victim in this case. And besides, our room is a lot less crowded now isn’t it." The both laughed at the passed through the tapestry to the Slytherins common room not realizing someone had in fact heard them.

                            * * * * *

After Cornelius Fudge had left Severus Snape flew off the handle. Albus let him rant and rave about the conniving little rat in the ministry and injustice to his Slytherins. "This is OUTRAGEOUS Albus! Four students are dead because they chose to end their lives instead after denouncing the Dark Lord! That pompous idiot is still keeping too much under wraps where the war is concerned!"

The Potions professor knew why. Lucius Malfoy had been released from Azkaban on the grounds he had been under the Imperious Curse. There had been no investigation since such a well standing citizen as Lucius Malfoy would never be in league with someone like He-Who-Must-Not-be-Named. Of course it didn't hurt that the man practically funded most of the Ministry and St. Mungo's for years now. The fact was that Lucius had Fudge in the palm in his hand and in his pocket and nothing short of killing the Minister himself in broad daylight could change his mind.

The were now six dead students from Slytherins: the four that had jumped today and the Rider sisters who had jumped in front of a subway train the day before. Severus had told Albus about the incident. The older girl Liza was supposed to meet with Voldemort himself on the 10th. She was a protégée in Charms and was doing independent research with a shield charm that held great promise. But the morning of her initiation she had run off with her twelve year old sister Emma. They thought they wouldn't be followed into muggle London but quickly realized they were being tailed. They knew that even if they caught the 12:00 express the Death Eaters would be waiting for them at the end of the line. They both knew perfectly well what the punishment would be, so instead they held hands, started singing, and just as the train was pulling in they jumped onto the tracks.

While Liza's death wasn't a tragic loss in the eyes of the Dark Lord the fact that she had burned all of her notes on the shield charm was a major disappointment. They suspected that she took some of it with her but after the muggle police were called in and the chaos had settled her bag went missing. All attempts to find it turned up nothing and the Dark Lord had taken out his anger on Snape and several other Death Eaters that had the misfortune of being in the room when he heard the news. He was still a bit shaky the next morning when a group of his students had told him they were going to the Astronomy tower after lunch. He had a bad feeling about the way the young man said it but he let them go anyway. Less then an hour later Kent Millird and his girlfriend Judy Carter jumped from the tower along with two of his other classmates.

The Potions professor went from blind rage to a broken heap in a mater of moments. Albus was the only person whom he ever let see this side of him. He slumped in a large armchair and rested his head in his hands. He felt a hand on his shoulder but for once did not reject it.

"They couldn't come to me Albus." he spoke just above a whisper. The Headmaster sighed.

"They didn't come to me either child." Severus Snape stood up and turned away.

"You didn't have their trust, you couldn't be there for them when they were ganged up on and outnumbered. And you couldn't see them when they were at their most vulnerable." Albus knew he was talking about his Slytherins in general, not just the ones who ended their lives. "I couldn't be there for them either." Severus Snape had been one of those lost children once and with no one to turn to he made a mistake, one that he carries with him to this day. Before the first war had ended he had served as Dumbledore's spy but even after the fall of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named they both knew his return was inevitable. They both knew that his services might be needed in the future and so he was forced to continue his role as loyal Death Eater around his 'old crowd' when the time came. But that had also meant most of the children he so longed to help would know his secret and therefore never come to him.

"It is not your fault child, as Headmaster I should be the one to blame. I fear I haven't done enough to try and unite the houses like I should have. The Slytherins children may be some of the more independent ones in all the houses but we quickly forget that they are still just that...children." The older man told Severus. While a part of him wanted to reject what the Headmaster was saying, another part knew it had a ring of truth. A truth he had no desire to bring up.

"I have to do something Albus. Others might hear of Miss Avery's proclamation and become 'inspired'." The Headmaster raised an eyebrow.

"Severus, your position as a spy may be compromised by this." The raven-haired man turned sharply facing Dumbledore.

"Then what do you suppose I do? There will be heavy recruiting next week and the ones that don't flat out kill themselves may decide to run. You know what will happen to them!" He shouted banging his fist on the table.

And with perfect calmness the headmaster replied, "Then leave."

Snape's eyes went wide as he heard this. "Albus you cannot be serious. Now more then ever we need someone on the inside, there is no one left."

The old man looked hard into those dark onyx eyes. "He is coming too close Severus. He knows there is a leak in his ranks and I fear it is only a matter of time."

"But we still have some time and as long he doesn't know for sure..." Dumbledore sighed. He saw his former student return time after time beaten and abused by his former master. He wanted to force the man to quit and help the Order in other ways. He also knew he had no one else he could trust with such a delicate position. Without waiting for a response the Potions master bid the Headmaster farewell and went to the door.

"Severus!" he heard Dumbledore call out. He paused but did not turn around. "Please...be careful child. You are more than just a spy to me and I hope you realize that." The Head of Slytherins then left the room without uttering a sound.

                            * * * *

He was ready to return to the dungeons when he heard a voice outside of the Headmaster's office. He turned to see a very distraught and teary-eyed Millicent Bulstrode looking up at him. He wasn't sure what to say but she spoke first.

"Is that...is that the only way out?" she said through her sobs. She didn't know why she was so upset or why she was openly questing her loyalty to a known Death Eater but her body no longer seemed to obey her mind. This was a moment of truth for her. At the end of the day Professor Snape was the only one who seemed to understand them even if it was hard to trust him. She was putting all of her eggs in one basket and the strange part was she didn't think twice. The truth was she needed an end and one way or another she would have it.

Snape was shocked for a moment by the girl's shocking confession. He hesitated for a moment worried this may be a trap set by the Dark Lord or a fellow Death Eater but then he looked into her eyes. Eyes that may as well have been a reflection from a time not too long ago. Desperation, fear, and above all hope. Eyes like this were a window into the soul, eyes like this could not be faked. He took a quick look around and made a decision that would forever change the fate of so many.

"Let's talk about this in private Miss Bulstrode."

                        * * * *

March 13th

Under the cover of his best friend's invisibility cloak, Ron Weasley quietly made his way to the kitchen. He knew he could get into serious trouble from being out of bed this late at night but he thought some sweet snacks might help to cheer up the skittish Griffindor common room. But just as he was about to tickle the pear in the the painting of the bowl of fruit he hear a strange sound. It was coming an empty classroom around the corner. Upon closer inspection, he noticed the door was slightly ajar. Being the curious Griffindor he was he decided to see what it was. The opening was just wide enough for him to see a unsettling sight. There in the corner was Theodor Nott crying his eyes out clutching what looked like a broken piece of a wand. It was a little hard to hear but between the sobs he hear a heartbreaking tale.

"Why...why did you do it..." The sobbing continued as the rabbity boy clutched the wand a bit tighter. "I could have helped you I could have...I couldn't help you...sob...this just wasn't worth it." Ron was beginning to feel guilty about eavesdropping but couldn't help putting himself in Nott's shoes. He remember how he felt when his little sister was captured by the Basilisk and how he had feared her dead.

"I hate them...my own parents don't even care that their son is dead." He shorted at the thought. "They only care about how they lost a tribute to that...that monster!" He paused trying to stedy his breath. "I hate them...every single one of them. I wish they would all just die, all of them! Someone should..."

Just then Ron heard someone coming from behind him. He almost yelped when he say Snape heading right for him. He had to remind himself he was still wearing the invisibility cloak. He quickly moved out of the way as quietly as he could praying Snape would Just pass him quickly. But it seemed the tall greasy haired professor's sharp ears picked up the cries of the sobbing boy in the classroom. The redhead held his breath as he watched the dark mad open the door all the way. Snape took a quick glance around before entering the room and closing the door.

"Mr. Nott, I think we should about your brother as well as your-" But the rest was cut off when a silencing charm was put up. Ron decided he had heard enough for one night. Not feeling nearly as hungry as he did before he returned to his room without repeating what he had overheard to anyone.

The fallowing morning he noticed that Nott along with several other Slytherins were not in class. They never came back to school.

March 18th

Draco Malfoy sat alone atop the Astronomy tower gazing out at the star lit sky. This had not turned out the way it should. The initiation was not the glorious rise to power his father had always bragged about. What he could remember was the searing pain as the Dark Mark was burned into his flesh, the ritual flogging to test his tolerance to pain. Thank to his father's help he had passed that part with flying colors. And there was the final test that would haunt him for years to come. He was presented with a muggle to play with. A muggle child no older than four, not old enough to understand why this was happening to her. He was told to rid the world of trash like her.

Sure he had boosted how he hated muggles and mudbloods but now he was being told to kill, something that didn't sit with him as well as he thought it would. He could still remember her quivering and crying for her mommy, who had just been raped and murdered by another of the new recruits. He couldn't think straight with all the cheering in the background and crying child before him. Before he realized what he was doing he raised his wand and uttered the killing curse. He made the mistake of looking into her eyes as the light of life left them. The scene was now burned into his memory with those innocent eyes staring back at him lifelessly, accusingly.

He was then beaten and ridiculed for killing her too quickly. He couldn't remember much after that. He had somehow managed to get through classes the following Monday and after dinner snuck out. He kept thinking about the girl and what it really meant to be a Death Eater and soon realized he had made a mistake, a BIG mistake. One that he didn't know how to fix.

What could he do, turn himself in? He'd receive a Dementor's kiss before he could say Voldemort. If he ran they would find him. He saw what happened to those who defied the Dark Lord's wishes. There were still a large number of students either dead or missing or worse. The Slytherins dorms were especially quite after the Easter Holiday. Many had simply not come back, their fate unknown. So where did that leave him? He got up and looked over the edge of the tower remembering the four brave students who actually found a way out and were called honorable even heroes by a great deal of the school, even the Gryffindors. He wonder not for the first time what would happen if he followed their lead and died a hero.

But then what? It wouldn't erase the stains on his hands and the truth was nothing would really change. But what to do? He needed to talk to someone, someone he could trust. Dumbledore was out of the question since it was clear who he favored in this school. The truth was there was only one person he could really open up to. The answer was his godfather, Severus Snape, who was more of a father to him than the one who sired him. But he was also a Death Eater, would he turn him into the Dark Lord or would he actually help him? He barely realized his feet were dragging him to the Head of Slytherin's door. He didn't know how long he stood there before he actually knocked softly. He waited but just as he was ready to run in the opposite direction the door opened.

There stood Professor Snape looking down at his godson. His eyes softened in a way meant for Draco alone. The boy didn't even realize tears were starting to fall down his cheek until Snape's delicate hands casually wiped them away.

"Professor." The boy said in a shaky voice. "I...I think I made a mistake." The man took the boy into his arms and held him as he started to sob. At that moment it didn't matter what happened to him. For now he was safe. It was a feeling that he would forever cherish as he was lead into the office. Whatever happens now, that moment, that feeling of security, was worth it.

                            * * * *

March 22nd

Minerva McGonagall was making her rounds through the hallway to insure there were no students wandering the halls after hours. Professor Snape was usually the one to make these rounds and the Head of Gryffindor strongly suspected he enjoyed hunting down the little deliquesces a little too much. As she made her way into the dungeon she heard a sharp gasp. He hurried down the stairs but what she saw shock her to the core.

Wide eyed and heavily panting, Hogwarts Potions professor stood in the darkened hallway looking impossibly pale. He seemed to be in a blind panic. Minerva. in all her years had not once seen the surly Slytherin so absolutely terrified in her entire live. Not even the prospect of returning to Voldemort's service as a spy seemed to frighten the man as much. He was still shaking as she looked on almost, afraid to approach him, as if he were a wild animal. But being the Gryffindor she was she slowly approached her fellow professor.

"Severus?" The man jumped nearly a foot his hand went for his wand. "Severus what on earth is the matter? I've never seen you so..." Shaking his head as if to clear it he managed to quell his shaking a bit.

"It's nothing Minerva, please got back to what you were doing." But he could not hide the shaking in his voice.

"Severus, it is obvious something is seriously wrong. Maybe if you told me." He head snapped around so fast she swore heard a crack.

"Damn it Minerva, I said go away I CAN'T tell you!" He said almost without thinking as he slapped his hand over his mouth. It was clear to her he wanted to tell her something but was absolutely terrified.

"Severus please, you know you can trust me," she pleaded, knowing full well she was one of the few people over the years to gain his trust. His breathing was still uneven as he panted.

"This isn't a matter of trust Minerva. I beg you to leave me be. I NEED to be alone right now." He looked her in the eye and with every bit of sincerity muttered. "Please." She wasn't sure what disturbed her more: Severus Snape the terrifying Potions master cowering in a dark corner or his desperation that was evident in his politeness. She wondered off hand why he simply didn't take cover in his private room and lock himself away if he truly wanted to be alone. In the end the Transfiguration teacher decided to give the man his privacy and confront him about it when he had regained some composer.

"All right Severus, I'll speak with you in the morning." She turned a bit hesitant. As if sensing this Snape tried to reassure her.

"Tomorrow, before breakfast." Assured that he wasn't going to follow his students off the Astronomy tower Minerva McGonagall continued her rounds. Had she stayed with the distraught teacher the events that would take before the year had ended might never have occurred.

                            * * * *

March 23rd

The following morning Professor Snape had met with his fellow co-worker as promised. However he insisted that nothing was wrong and that he had a very disturbing nightmare. According to him he had fallen asleep at his desk grading papers and dreamed that Voldemort had stormed the castle, killed Potter, and had just struck Albus dead at his feet right before turning to him calling him "Traitor". He was still a bit shaken up not to mention embarrassed by his "display of emotion" or so he put it.

The explanation satisfied Minerva and soon put it out of her memory. It would be a decision she would soon come to regret for years to come.

                            * * * *

April 14th

He knew this would happen sooner or later. He knew the risks but after all the horrors over the past few months they were risks he was willing to take. After Miss Bulstrode's teary pled and Mr. Malfoy heart breaking confession Professor Severus Snape had taken it upon himself to smuggle these unwilling children out of the country and to safety. In a fit of sheer irony it was one of those children who had betrayed him to the Dark Lord himself.

April 19th

Severus Snape, the most feared teacher at Hogwarts's school of witchcraft and wizardry returned five days later barley alive. It was no longer a secret: the notorious professor was in fact a Death Eater...as well as a spy for the light. When he regained consciousness the blood soaked man said that he had gone to the Death Eater's meeting on the pretense of planning an attack on a muggle village only to find himself the main attraction of the evening. For days on end his former comrades had their fun playing there sadistic games drawing it out as long a possible making it clear that his death would be as slow as humanly possible.

In another fit of irony, one of the children he had helped came to the professor's aid...with an emergency portkey. He had given this child the portkey if his life was ever in danger even though it was intended for him to use if he was ever discovered. Draco Malfoy, being the Slytherin he was, blamed the escape on an unfortunate Death Eater who had over looked the portkey. It was also on that day Draco became the Order's new spy. Snape was against it but his godson told him he needed a way to repair the damage he had done. The child was so much like him at that age he didn't have the heart to deny him.

He was asked many times but Snape never gave out the names of the refugee students. He had no way of knowing which one had in fact given him up to the dark Lord but he was not about to endanger the ones who placed their trust in him.

It was nearly a month before he had returned to teaching classes and by that time the war and it's casualties were a part of the new as well as day-to-day life. The Professor had been given the opportunity to flee the country but turned the Headmaster down. He said that there was still something he needed to do. At the time Professor Dumbledore assumed he meant his promise to protect Harry and see the fall of Voldemort. It didn't occur to him it might be something else.

May 27th

It had all come down to this. All of the preparations, nightmares and prophecies were but a prelude to this moment. The Boy who Lived was now facing the one who made him a living ledged. The same man who made him an orphan and left behind his mark.

“Well Harry, I think there is one thing we can agree upon.” Voldemort hissed as he watched Harry approach him wand drawn. "That the time for talk is over.” He held out his own wand facing Potter. They were both daring each other to make the first move. But what Harry didn’t see was one of Voldemort’s favorite little Death Eaters, Rubustan Lestrange, aiming his own wand at his back. Harry didn’t see it but someone else did.

“Harry behind you!” It all happened so fast but it was a moment that Harry would never forget. Of all the people he expected to help him Professor Snape was not one of them. He turned to see the masked man casting an unknown spell at him. Snape pushed him out of the way taking the full blast for himself. Voldemort had used the distraction to cast a spell at Harry but Snape had pushed the boy clear. Snape began to fall and Voldemort’s spell had missed them both. He watched in horror as his own Avada Kedavra struck Rubustran instead killing him instantly. This time it was the Dark Lord who had paused.

“Cursed traitor!” He cried turning to Snape’s fallen form momentarily forgetting about Potter. He realized his mistake too late. Harry was now glowing with magic energy chanting a curse so powerful it was thought no one could master it. How wrong they all were. Voldemort tried deflecting the blast but that only served to shatter his wand moments before he perished. His body disintegrated into nothing. His bones and his spirit had been destroyed forever.

It was over, he had won. Still shaking and weakened from using the spell he looked over to the man who had saved his life and in turn saved them all from Voldemort. “Professor Snape.” He said as he looked down at his still form. Fear began to weld up inside of him. This couldn’t be happening, the man he always thought had hated him had just taken what could easily been a fatal blast, and now he might be dying. “No, this can’t be true… hasn’t there been enough death because of me?” though Harry as he tried to reach out to his fallen teacher. “Professor?” He was getting dizzy. Suddenly the Potions master began to stir but Harry’s hopes were dashed a moment later when his body was surrounded by a strange red light and vanished. He didn’t understand, he was in the dark as to what had just happened. But his thoughts were put on hold as the darkness claimed him.

                        To be Continued...

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