Harry Potter and the Ring of Reduction

Chapter 17

Awake in the Dark

"I still don't believe it," said Ron.

Four hours later, after dinner, the six were in the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom, on the conjured carpet. After leaving the meeting with Bright, Kingsley, and the others, Harry had gone to his Hogwarts quarters, to shower and change. Fawkes had then brought Ginny, just so they could spend some time quietly together. Then he had gone to the staff room after five o'clock, where he jokingly apologized to Dentus for having missed his class. Dentus accepted in good humor, explaining that "since they knew you were in serious danger, nobody was paying attention anyway." Harry then put in an appearance in Gryffindor Tower, apologetically answering questions as vaguely as possible, since it was up to McGonagall and Kingsley what aspects of what had happened to make public. Then, the six had had a quiet dinner together.

"Don't believe what, exactly?" asked Ginny.

"The thing with Snape. All of it. Any of it. Him viewing your memories, that you had to tolerate him maybe seeing the ones with you and Ginny... you having to be in the same room with him that much, never mind, care about him. Just the whole thing. I mean, you've done stuff that's impressed me before, Harry, but nothing so much as this. I stand in awe."

"You're sitting," pointed out Pansy.

"Then I sit in awe," amended Ron, unperturbed, "and if I lay back against you, like this, that will be in awe also."

"So, generally, you're awed," observed Neville.

"That's the gist of it," agreed Ron. "I mean, to have to think that you have no privacy whatsoever... I just couldn't do that. If Dumbledore had asked me that, I'd have said, sorry, mate, you're out of luck. That's just too much."

"You had me rummage around in your mind," recalled Harry. "That's not that different."

"Yes, except for the huge, enormous difference that it was you, not Snape," said Ron. "That's what makes what you did so impressive. Sometimes it bothered me that there was this big thing that you three knew and I didn't, but now, I think I'm just as glad I didn't know. Would've got too worked up on your behalf, both of you. Funny, I've always given you two a hard time about doing stuff. Hard to resist, you know, it's such a cliché, my younger sister and my best mate. But after this, somehow I don't think I have it in me anymore."

"Oh, that'd be a shame," grinned Ginny. "It's always so fun to attack Harry and get a reaction out of you. It's like, two good things at once."

"Well, I suppose I could try," conceded Ron.

"That's the spirit," said Ginny. She leaned over to Harry, took his face in her hands, and started kissing him. Ron said nothing for a few seconds, then with obvious false enthusiasm, said, "All right, Ginny! Go for it!"

Ginny and Harry fell out of the kiss as they started laughing, as did the other three. "Oh, my, that just doesn't sound right," chuckled Hermione.

"I appreciate the effort, Ron," smiled Ginny. Leaning against Harry's chest and putting her arms around him, she exhaled in satisfaction. "Well, at least that part of it's over. No more having to think about it, that any particular thing could be viewed."

Harry agreed to himself that it would be a relief, but he didn't want to think about the circumstances under which it had happened. "It never occurred to me that there would be a good point about Snape getting blown. I just thought of something... I wonder what would have happened it he'd got blown, but there wasn't this possibility that I could change him back?"

"That would have been bad," agreed Hermione. "The problem is, you're the one who helped him, and he needed to be on his best behavior around you, but he blamed you for his getting exposed, and was really mad at you. It would've been very hard for him to calm down enough about that for you to help him."

Harry nodded, indicating that that had been what he'd been thinking. "I just hope I can do this thing, now."

"The important thing to remember," said Hermione earnestly, "is that it's not your fault if something goes wrong. He's been living on borrowed time for a long time now, and it probably wasn't going to be that long before Voldemort was defeated anyway, and he'd be in the same position. This only changes the timing a bit. I don't want you thinking, if this doesn't go well... you've done a lot for him, you've done all you could."

"I suppose so," he said, though he found it hard to accept the idea that he shouldn't blame himself if something went wrong. Still holding onto Ginny, he found himself thinking about what Snape had said about Grindelwald. Is it really the same thing? he asked himself. The fact is, if I'd thought about using the wand to Disapparate, Voldemort would be in custody now, or dead, and this would all be over. How many more people are going to die because I didn't think of the right thing to do at the right time? I should have thought about-

"Harry!" snapped Hermione, in an accusatory tone. Harry blinked, wondering what he'd done. "Don't you dare think that! Snape was just trying to hurt you because he was mad at you. Albus had Grindelwald in his power; I don't think it's fair to say that you ever did with Voldemort. You can always look back at a situation and think you could have done something differently. Would you have wanted me to blame myself for what I did to Skeeter, that almost messed up your life pretty badly?"

Harry finally understood. "Fawkes," he said, annoyed, though it was hard for him to ever be truly annoyed at Fawkes.

To the others, Hermione explained, "Harry was thinking that Snape was right, that it was his fault Voldemort got away. Fawkes sent it to me. I think he's afraid that Harry's going to start counting the bodies from now on, blaming himself for them, and hopes I, or we, can stop him. Harry, you just can't think like that, you can't. It wasn't Albus's fault that Grindelwald got away; things just happen. And I think this one happened for a reason. Honestly, I think you were right, that this is the only way to really kill Voldemort, so he's truly dead. And if you had done what you wish you had done, you wouldn't have had a chance to find this out. Things happen, Harry. It's pointless to blame yourself, you did the best you could."

"You blamed yourself, this summer," he reluctantly pointed out.

"Exactly, so I know what I'm talking about," she retorted. A part of Harry understood that she was right; he knew most people wouldn't have done as much as he had. He chuckled to himself. "What?" asked Hermione.

"I just thought, I'd better not spend too much time blaming myself, or Fawkes is going to keep telling you, and you'll be bothering me all the time," said Harry.

"Yes, that's probably why he told me," she agreed humorously. "He doesn't want you blaming yourself, because he feels it, too. Not that he'd mind if it was justified, but this isn't. Even though he doesn't see the situation like we do, I'm pretty sure that on some level, he knows that."

"Maybe," he said.

"And that would be," she pressed him, "because on some level, you know that."

Harry thought, but didn't answer; his only reaction was to hold Ginny more tightly. He wondered if he could accept what Hermione was saying. He thought she was right, that on some level, he knew that he shouldn't blame himself; he had been in an extremely stressful situation, and he'd done his best. He had eventually learned not to blame himself for Hogsmeade; he knew this was different, but it was similar in a way. He wondered how many historical figures suffered from regrets or second thoughts. Probably a lot, he told himself.

Harry glanced up in surprise as the Pensieve floated into the room; a quick glance around told him that Hermione had Summoned it from his office. He let go of Ginny as she sat up straight. "You know how I've always put a memory in this when we've practiced Legilimens, since summer," said Hermione. She put a memory into the Pensieve, then gestured to it. "We think you should see it. Go ahead."

Startled, Harry gaped in amazement. "But isn't that a memory of..."

Hermione looked greatly amused at what she knew he was thinking. Deadpan, Neville said, "Yes, Harry, that's right. We wanted to show you a memory of us having sex. We thought you should see how it was done properly."

Ron, Pansy, and Ginny burst out laughing, then after a second, so did Hermione. Neville didn't smile until Harry gave him a 'very funny' look. "Well," said Ginny, still laughing, "If I'm any judge-"

"Please," said Ron, interrupting his own laughter, "whatever you do, please don't finish that sentence."

"I thought you were going to change how you were about that," protested Ginny with feigned disappointment.

"You're right, I forgot," said Ron. Again sounding very insincere, he said, "What I meant to say is, please tell us in great detail about Harry's capabilities in that area. We all really want to know."

"Well, if you insist," said Ginny agreeably. "First of all,-"

Harry playfully reached over and covered Ginny's mouth with his hand. To Neville and Hermione, he protested, "Come on, you can hardly blame me for thinking that."

"If it were that, well, let's just say I'd have had to put more than that into the Pensieve every time," said a still-amused Hermione. "No, it's a bit more serious than that. What you're about to see is from near the end of the Apparation crisis, during the shift when you caught Malfoy. When Neville and I had our big talk after getting the Skeeter letters."

Harry's eyebrows went up; whatever it was, he knew, it was bound to be very personal. He thought to ask, why this but not any other memory, but he realized that question would probably be answered as he viewed it. As he took his hand off Ginny's mouth and put it in the Pensieve, he heard her say, "Now, as I was about to say..."

He was suddenly in Neville's Auror quarters. Neville and Hermione both looked very emotional; he would have known they were having an important conversation even if he hadn't already been told. Hermione looked as though she had cried recently.

Neville spoke first. "It's not that I don't believe you. It's just that... you say you can't tell me why you did it, because of what I'm not supposed to know. I just don't know how I can accept that... I mean, the whole problem is that you violated my trust. How can I just say, well, I trust you that it was for a good reason? If I'm going to accept that, I really need to know why."

Hermione looked like she might cry again. "I don't know what to tell you, Neville. You know I'm not supposed to tell anyone this, you know it's for a good reason. What can I say, more than that?"

"You need to trust me," he replied earnestly. "Tell me what it is. Whatever it is, nobody else will know that I know. But I have to know."

"It sounds like you're saying you can't trust me unless I tell you this," she said. He glanced down, then looked her in the eye, saying nothing. She sighed. "I guess I can't blame you, and it's not as though I should be telling you what you should and shouldn't think." She paused for a short time, thinking. Finally, she said, "It's ironic, I have to violate Harry's trust to get yours back."

"That's not fair," protested Neville. "I never asked you to-"

"I know, I know," she said sadly. "This is all my fault, I'm not saying it's not."

"Harry will understand," said Neville. "Just explain it to him."

"I wish I could explain it to him, it would make me feel better," she said ruefully. "If I could explain it to him, I could ask his permission, and he'd give it. Of course, it's not totally his to give, but never mind that for now. Okay, here it is..."

The scene shifted; Neville and Hermione had barely moved, but clearly Hermione had edited the memory so that Harry would be spared the explanation she gave Neville. After it resumed, Neville looked stunned, which didn't surprise Harry at all. "That's got to be the weirdest thing I've ever heard," said Neville. "Now I understand perfectly, of course. It was a sweet gesture, and I would have approved of it, if I'd known the situation."

"I knew you would," she said. "That was part of what helped me decide to do it, even though I couldn't tell you, or would have to give you not enough information if I did tell you. It just never occurred to me how it would look to you if you ever found out..."

"Because you didn't think I would find out," he finished. "She's just so nasty, she knew just how to make it look the worst."

She nodded. "As with the other things, though, I didn't help. I should have told you everything I could have, you would have trusted me then. If I lost your trust, I deserved to." There was a short silence; Harry wondered whether Neville was just thinking, or was being conspicuously silent. Hermione spoke again, saying, "Now, of course, I'll have to put a memory, this one, into the Pensieve every time before Harry and I practice Legilimency. Fortunately, he'll just think it's something sexual, and so will Snape if he sees it. The important thing for both of us to remember is that we can't talk about it or refer to it from here on out, even when we're alone. There's only a tiny chance that Harry would see anything, but he can't hide anything from Snape, and if Snape saw it... well, it would be bad. He'd blame Harry, it might even jeopardize their situation. We have to be careful."

Neville nodded. "I understand. Poor Harry, I feel so bad for him. I mean, with Snape? How in the world is he managing that?"

"It hasn't been that long, but he's doing all right, apparently," she said, after which the memory reset to the beginning.

Harry exited the Pensieve to see Hermione looking at him apprehensively. She opened her mouth to speak, but Ron beat her to it. "Wow, that was some amazing stuff you told us, Ginny."

Harry rolled his eyes. "If she really had, you'd be long gone," he said.

"You've got to get up pretty early to fool Harry," joked Pansy.

"Not really... usually, you can sleep in till noon," responded Ron.

Hermione waited to make sure they were finished. "I'm sorry, Harry."

"I understand," he said somberly. "You did it right, I'll say that. I never had any idea, which was the point. And at least Neville knew not to tell me anything he didn't want Snape knowing."

"There were times when I wished I could have told Ron and Pansy the same thing," agreed Hermione. "Especially when that thing with Blaise happened. She wouldn't have come to you if she'd known. Oh, that reminds me, I can lift the Memory Charm now!"

"Oh, good, I've been wondering what's behind that," he said. "Now okay?"

She nodded, and cast Legilimens on him. She pointed him to the Charm, and he unlocked it quickly; the memories came flooding back. Seeing his look of recognition, Pansy said, "It was a shame that you couldn't remember that. Helen and Sylvia's 100's came two days after that, and we-the second years and I-are sure that meeting had a lot to do with it, with their scores in general. You deserved to enjoy that, but you couldn't."

"Well, I can now," he said, feeling very satisfied. "Of course-"

He was interrupted by a knock on the door; Hermione waved it open to reveal Hugo. "Hugo, I should've known," said Harry, gesturing him to a spot on the floor. "I'm always so preoccupied after these things happen that I forget you're bound to show up."

"Understandable," said Hugo as he sat between Harry and Hermione. "How's the hand?"

"I forget I shouldn't touch things, and the static reminds me," he said. "Pretty good, though. A lot better than before, for sure."

"I saw Kingsley's memory of your hand, it looked really nasty," agreed Hugo. "Snape had a lot of nerve, acting like that should be no impediment to your picking up a wand. It'd damn well be an impediment to most people, including me."

"Is that your way of asking if he feels bad about not picking it up?" asked Hermione, her expression neutral. Harry thought there was a slight edge to her tone, but had no idea why.

Sensing Harry's puzzlement, Hugo explained. "I've aroused Hermione's protective instincts. She knows my question will cause you to think about that, which obviously she doesn't want you doing. The fact is, Hermione, that it wasn't deliberate, but it might have been... unconsciously deliberate. I do have this journalistic habit of asking questions or making comments in a way that doesn't directly address a sensitive subject, but will likely remind the person of it; I can then get a read on how they feel about it, and whether they'd be receptive to talking about it. I wasn't trying to do that here-Harry tends to answer anything I ask-but it may be from that habit. So I'm sorry, to both of you, since I sense Harry's less bothered than you are."

"You know, Hermione, that I am going to have to think about this," pointed out Harry. "It would be impossible for me not to, and you can't go bothering me every time the phoenixes tell you I'm thinking about it. If I'm obsessing, then okay, bother me. But I've barely had a chance to think about it yet."

"I can just see you doing it," she replied unhappily. "But yes, I suppose you do at least have to think about it. So, Hugo, I gather you've seen Kingsley's memory of the meeting we had."

"Yes, so now I finally understand what the thing with Snape is. I knew it was something unusual; not only wouldn't he talk to me, he wouldn't allow me in his presence, ever. I see why, now. Obviously, I'm deeply impressed at what you did for him, what Dumbledore did. And I understand you're worried about tomorrow, but Harry, I could see enough in the memory to know that he really couldn't wait longer."

"I know," said Harry heavily. "This was his worst fear, that he would stop being useful. Well, I guess I'll just do my best, and hope it ends up all right. Anyway, Hugo, what's going to be made public?"

"A lot of it will, I'll just tell you what won't be. Nothing about him pulling information from you, or anything to do with how you plan to beat him. Nothing about the details of how you got away, such as that ring; he's probably still wondering about that. If he's not still screaming, that is. Nothing suggesting that there was anything you could have done but didn't do. If you're going to wrestle with demons, at least you get to do it privately," said Hugo sympathetically. "Pretty much everything else will be public."

"Even the hand?" asked Ron, amazed.

"It was decided that it was too good to pass up, from a morale point of view," explained Hugo. "You accomplished something big, Harry, but the biggest thing is something they can't make public. The hand will be very compelling, both narratively and photographically-"

"They're going to run a picture of it? Isn't that going to be a little..." wondered Harry.

"It'll be one of those things where you have to hold your wand over it to see it," Hugo assured him, "and there'll be a big warning of what it is. Don't worry, the bracelet will be in the picture also, and the caption will explain that you did it to get the bracelet. Of course, most people will just be happy that you took a chunk out of him, they won't care why. Harry, emotions are running high right now, and it's going to be that much more when people find out about the deaths of five Aurors. I'm starting to hear rumblings, both within the Ministry, and outside of it, about it not being a bad idea to just kill any Death Eaters we capture. After a trial, of course. Partly because they might escape and kill again, and partly... as revenge."

Harry chuckled humorlessly. "I'm sure Snape would approve."

"No doubt," agreed Hugo. "He killed Skeeter, didn't he?" he asked, his tone making it more a statement than a question. Harry's expression clearly having told him he was correct, Hugo continued, "I suspected it back then, to tell you the truth. Well, would you mind if I looked at your memory of it, from when you were taken until you escaped?"

Harry shrugged. "You can, but it's going to be pretty boring; most of it is just me doing Legilimens, which is why I didn't show it to the others."

"That's okay, I can skip forward if I want." Harry put the memory in, and Hugo entered the Pensieve.

Looking slightly embarrassed, Ron said, "I kind of want to see it too, but it would be for... definitely the wrong reasons. I wouldn't mind seeing you taking his hand off, or that scream you said he did at the end."

"I want to also," said Neville, "and it would be for the wrong reasons, but I don't care. I know, Harry, I know all about... that word I can't pronounce-"

"Schadenfreude," supplied Hermione.

"Yes, that one. I know I shouldn't go out of my way to enjoy it, but I do want to see it, just once. Maybe it's like the Malfoy thing. He's caused a lot of suffering, and there's something good about seeing what happened, and it's not necessarily... that word."

"I think I know what Neville means," said Hermione. "It's kind of what Hugo was just mentioning, about why they're putting the picture of the hand in the paper. It's good for morale, you were able to inflict a pretty bad injury on him. Nobody's ever been able to do that, except you, first as a baby and then now. Hearing about it is one thing, seeing it is another."

Harry found that he could understand that, though he had no desire to see it again, much less see it and enjoy it. "Okay, after Hugo gets out, I'll make an edited version, and you can see that. It won't take long." To his surprise, Hugo exited the Pensieve a minute later, after which he edited the memory and put it back in. All five of his friends and Hugo watched it.

Ginny moved over to Harry and hugged him again. "I think Hugo was right, Snape does have his nerve to expect that of you, to pick up a burning-hot wand as if it were nothing. I hate to see you in that kind of pain, especially the second time."

"As you know, he's dealt with much, much worse than that," he reminded her. She reluctantly nodded, but wore an expression of, 'but, still...'

"I had a question, Harry," said Hugo. "Well, I could ask as part of the interview, but I thought of it now, so... after you woke up, you grabbed his wand, took off his hand, then did the Imperius Charm. The wand burns when you use the person's wand against him, but you didn't seem to be in pain until you did the Imperius Charm. Do you have any idea why?"

Surprised, Harry shook his head. "It seems like I should have been right away, doesn't it."

Hugo nodded. "I was surprised that you didn't activate the wand's defense by taking off his hand, then drop it reflexively before you could do the Charm."

"Me, too, now that you mention it. I think I sort of did it in one motion, so maybe the curse on the wand took just long enough to activate that I was able to get the Charm in before I felt it."

Hugo raised his eyebrows. "That would be strange, most spells don't have that kind of delay, even for a half a second. Anyway, would you mind doing the interview now, or were you guys in the middle of something?"

"I think they were just making fun of me, so no, nothing special," joked Harry. "Now's okay."

Harry rolled over in bed after finishing his Occlumency exercises. Do I really even need to do these any more? he asked himself. I don't think he's going to be coming after me the way he did before. Better safe than sorry, I guess. Harry wondered whether he could actually go after Voldemort from a distance as Voldemort had him. It was an interesting question, but he knew he would never try.

He started playing the day's events over in his mind, starting with Blaise giving him the warning in his class. Was Snape right, he wondered, should he not have gone? It hadn't occurred to him during the day to ask Ginny what she thought, though he knew she would probably have said that he would do what he would do anyway, so her opinion didn't really matter. He knew her emotional reaction would be that he should never go into danger deliberately.

Five Aurors dead, he thought despondently. Looks like Kingsley was wrong about that jailbreak not being such a bad thing. Maybe they're not Death Eaters, but they know the Killing Curse, and that's all Voldemort needed. There aren't enough free, Cleansed Death Eaters to overwhelm six Aurors like that. No, I made the right decision by going. I couldn't save them, but if things had gone differently, I might have been able to. Yes, Albus warned me it was a trap, but I just should have reacted better, should have remembered that Death Eaters could have taken hair from Neville and Hermione when they had them in July. I had to go. Maybe Voldemort knew that, but I still had to go. Snape only yelled at me because it got him blown, but he knows me, he knew I had to do it.

Not having Apparated Voldemort out of the plane when he had the chance was another matter, however. No matter how much Bright, Ginny, Hugo, or anyone else said that it was understandable that he didn't think to use the wand, he knew better. He knew that if he'd thought of it, he would've done it. He took small comfort in the thought that his mistake would cost fewer lives than Dumbledore's had, since Voldemort tended to kill fewer people personally. He wasn't sure whether he should hold himself personally responsible for anyone Death Eaters killed from that point on, since they could continue killing anyway, even if Voldemort was killed. They just liked to kill, Harry knew. Then he remembered Dumbledore once reminding him that he was responsible only for his own actions, not those of others. At the same time, Dumbledore hadn't applied that to himself. He knew it, but he couldn't internalize it. Harry wondered whether he would do any better, or whether it was better not to do it at all. Perhaps it was immoral not to hold himself responsible in that kind of situation.

Variations on those thoughts rolled around in his head for the next half hour. He didn't reach any conclusions, of course; he doubted he ever would. He imagined Voldemort's next victim, a death he could have stopped if he'd thought correctly. He felt as though there were a lead weight in his stomach, that he had condemned some unknown person to death. He wanted to run, to do anything he could to escape the feeling. Why didn't I think of it, he asked himself for the tenth time. What's wrong with me, why don't I think as well as other people. Hermione would have thought of it, probably a lot of other people would have, too. But not me, I don't see what's in front of my face.

Suddenly an image popped into his head, along with a feeling. The image was of Hermione standing at the podium in the Great Hall last November; Harry recalled that she was saying that he was someone for whom others could risk their lives for without hesitation. The feeling was one of compassion and acceptance. He knew that Hermione must have known what he'd been thinking, and sent him what he'd just felt. She was communicating in a way very different from words, but he knew what she was trying to say: We all have our strengths, and leadership is yours. You've done more than almost anyone could have done, you've accomplished so much. You're not alone.

Without stopping to think, he sent a response: an image of himself in bed in the dark, eyes wide open. The feeling he sent was part of what he'd been feeling in the past half hour: fear of having allowed harm to come to others, and loneliness, even though he knew he was loved. I feel alone, he communicated. I don't want to feel like this, but I can't help it. All this responsibility, just on me.

You're not alone, we're all with you, she sent back with her feelings. Even if we're asleep, we're always with you. Think of us, imagine what we're thinking, and you'll realize it's true. You'll understand you're not alone.

I'm scared, he sent, the thought that he was communicating things he would never say verbally flashing through his mind for a second. Scared of what might happen tomorrow with Snape, scared of who might die next, more scared than you knew I was. People wouldn't have confidence in me if they knew how scared I was.

This is a hard night, today was a hard day, she said without words. We all get scared, it's all right. I'm here with you, the others would be if they could. Think about Ginny, think about us, focus on love. I'll be with you until you fall asleep, then Albus will be. You're never alone. I/we love you.

A duet of phoenix song suddenly began; he glanced up in the darkness to see Fawkes and Flora at the end of his bed. He sent out a feeling of deep gratitude, to Hermione and to the phoenixes. He focused on the song, and on the feelings of love Hermione continued sending him. Sooner than he would have thought possible, he was asleep.

* * * * *

The next thing he knew, he was standing next to a stream. "Hermione is right, you know," said Dumbledore, approaching him. "You are never truly alone, you are always loved."

"I guess sometimes I just need to be reminded of that," said Harry as he accepted Dumbledore's hug. They sat next to the stream.

"As do we all," agreed Dumbledore. "I am simply fortunate that here, I can be reminded so easily."

Harry thought for a minute about what he wanted to say, even though he knew Dumbledore was seeing his thoughts. "There's no way I can make myself feel better about this, is there?"

Dumbledore gave a small nod. "You can listen to the people who care about you. What they tell you is the truth. No, they cannot truly know how you feel, since they are not you. But they can know well enough to understand much of what you are going through; you should not dismiss them simply because they cannot know exactly."

"But you suffered so much, after Grindelwald got away."

"That does not mean you have to," Dumbledore pointed out reasonably. "Much of what I suffered was unnecessary. I was living in a foreign country; I was rather isolated. Of course I could Apparate back to England at any time, and occasionally I did. But I did not talk to people as much as I should have, nor did I open up to those I did talk to as much as I should have. I felt I had to suffer alone; of course, I realized much later that I was very wrong. You are surrounded by people who love you and want to help you, both physically and emotionally. Any isolation you feel is simply that of your own choosing."

Harry thought for a minute, then said, "But I do have to suffer for what I didn't do, I can't avoid that."

Dumbledore gently shook his head. "No, you do not have to suffer, difficult as that may be to accept. You could choose to learn from what has happened, accept that you cannot change it, and focus on the here and now. I am not saying that it is easy, just that it is possible. Just because I could not manage it does not mean that you could not."

"How can I not suffer from this?" asked Harry plaintively.

"Unhelpful as the answer may sound, simply by choosing not to," replied Dumbledore. "Very much of what we experience is by choice, even things that we seem to have little control over. Everything that happens in your mind happens by your choice. We are simply not accustomed to exercising conscious control over those choices."

"Did you?" asked Harry, curious.

"To an extent, a greater extent that I believe most people manage," admitted Dumbledore. "For example, I was never able to completely absolve myself of blame for such things as what happened to you yesterday, but I was eventually able to 'let it go' much more quickly than I otherwise would have, to not dwell on it. There is no reason you cannot do the same."

"Can you give me any advice on how to do it?"

"The most important advice I can give is that you believe that it is possible," said Dumbledore. "I have told you how important thoughts are. You would be amazed at what you can do if you simply believe that you can."

"I want to believe it," said Harry, who felt that he was a certain distance away from actually doing so. "So, will believing I can do it help me with what I'm going to try with Professor Snape tomorrow?"

"Of course, it is most helpful to avoid using words like 'try,'" advised Dumbledore, as the other Snape appeared. "But, yes, it will indeed help."

Harry stood and embraced Snape. "We may not do this again," said Snape humorously. "Even as a whole entity, I was never in the habit of hugging."

"Maybe if I succeed, he, or you, will feel differently," suggested Harry.

"It is not impossible," agreed Snape. "We have no way to know how I will respond when I am successfully reunited with my other half."

"Note that he uses the phrase 'when,' not 'if,' said Dumbledore with a smile.

"I did notice that," replied Harry, smiling as well. "Is that confidence, or just wanting to think positively?"

"Both," replied Snape. "I cannot think of anyone I would rather have doing this than you. Not because you are an expert in the procedure-who could be?-but because you will act out of love. No one could ask for more than that."

I hope that's enough, thought Harry. "How is he doing?"

"He is struggling, though he is doing better than he was when you saw him last. He has had some time to recover from the shock of losing the ability to be a spy, but his emotional state is still precarious. Right now, the only thing that keeps him going is the knowledge that it will soon be over for him. I would recommend that you begin as soon as you feel comfortable. He has not slept tonight, nor will he. Minerva is staying up with him, keeping him company."

"That's very good of her," said Harry, impressed. "I have a feeling he's not making it easy for her."

"Indeed not," agreed Snape. "He insists that he does not need her company, but they both know that is not true. She has assured him that she will speak to you after breakfast to find out when you will be ready."

Harry sighed. "I don't think I'm really going to be ready, but I know what you mean. I'll do my best. Is there anything you can tell me that will help?"

Snape shook his head. "You know more about the procedure for the Cleansing by having viewed it than I do, having undergone it. The pain was so intense, I could not even begin to think about how it was being done, just about enduring it. Just so you are prepared, what you will do will probably cause intense... discomfort. He said that it was not exactly pain when you did the Imperius Charm on him; this will probably be quite similar. You should try not to be overly disturbed by this; it is inevitable.

"I should say something about the aftermath, however. You should not have any particular expectations of his behavior afterwards; if he, or we, act much like he used to, it will not mean that you failed, or that something went wrong. His manner after the Cleansing was not so different from his manner before it. Before, he had the potential for pleasant emotions; it was simply very rarely that he experienced them. There is just no way to predict how he, we, will behave once this is done."

"I understand," said Harry. "I guess I didn't expect him to suddenly run around grinning all the time anyway. No one's ever had done to them what he's about to, so I guess we'll all find out. Oh, one thing I wondered about : will he, or the both of you, will you remember, I mean, will you keep your memories of being here?"

"I cannot be sure, but I think it highly likely that I will not," said Snape. "I will remember what I have seen in your memories, of course."

Harry nodded. "I guess there's not that much more to say, then. But I do want to say that I'll miss you being here. I've appreciated all your help."

Snape smiled. "It's definitely the other way around. You have done so much, sacrificed so much, to help us... I don't know whether we, reunited, will be able to convey our appreciation for all you have done, so I will now. I see that you are thinking that you did it for the Order, which is true, but you did it for me as well. Thank you very much."

Harry glanced down, slightly embarrassed. "You're welcome." Turning to Dumbledore, he asked, "I can't help but wonder, Albus... is Voldemort still screaming?"

"I am pleased that you take no pleasure from the prospect," said Dumbledore. "No, but shortly after he returned to them, he was sedated by his Death Eaters. He is now conscious and under heavy sedation; he is not screaming, but is in very serious discomfort."

"I assume he knows what I did," said Harry. "After all, it was his thought that gave me the idea."

Dumbledore nodded. "He is barely capable of coherent thought or speech, but yes, he knows. He is still in denial about the nature of what you do, however. He thinks that you have stumbled onto a source of power, which you mistakenly identify as love, but which he is particularly vulnerable to. He perceives what you have done as... roughly, burning a hole in his psyche, or consciousness, whichever you like. We would perceive it as a spot of light, or a spot from which love has the potential to grow. To him love does not exist, so he sees it as a hole. It burns him, as it were; it causes him intense pain because it cannot be reconciled with the rest of him, but it also cannot be got rid of easily. Severus was likely correct when he suggested that Voldemort would find a way to deal with it in time, but it is a very positive sign. It strongly suggests that what you intend to do to him will be effective."

"Do you think that Hermione and I might be right, that this may be the only way to truly kill him?"

"It may be," agreed Dumbledore. "Of course, I do not know that any more than you do. I sense that you hope that is the case; if it is, you feel you need not blame yourself for what happened today. I say again, of course, that you need not blame yourself in any case."

"I hope that I can not blame myself, at some point," said Harry ruefully. "That would be nice, and I do see your point, it's just that... well, I don't need to explain, you know how it is for me."

"Only too well," said Dumbledore gravely. "You will stop blaming yourself at some point, as I did. It is simply a question of when." He paused, then added, "We should stop for tonight. You fell asleep later than usual, and you will want to be at full alertness tomorrow." Harry nodded, and was asleep again.

* * * * *

Harry awoke to find that he was the only one in his dormitory. A look at his clock told him that it was seven-thirty, a little later than he usually got up. Winter holiday had technically begun, so he had no official commitments, and he was glad to get the extra sleep.

He changed into his day clothes and left the dormitory. Heading to the portrait hole, he was intercepted by Andrea Creevey. "Professor!"

He looked over to see that she had run over from where she had been sitting with the other second year girls, huddled around a copy of the Prophet. "Hi, Andrea. You have the paper already?"

"You got up kind of late," she noted. He took a few steps over to look at the paper over the girls' shoulders as they looked up and greeted him. "I can't believe you..." Andrea held her wrist with her hand.

"Good on you, I say," said Seamus, sitting nearby with Dean. "But why not his neck while you were at it?"

Bet that's not the first time I get asked that, he thought. "The energy of love doesn't like violence," he said. "I have to be concerned that if I try to kill him and fail, I could lose the ability to use it. You remember my talk last week about Dumbledore and Grindelwald."

"But you took off his hand," Seamus pointed out. "That's kind of violent. Could you have done, say, a whole arm, or a leg?"

A few of the girls made 'ewww' noises. "It has to be for a good reason, it can't just be violence for the sake of it," explained Harry. "It's hard to explain, but let's just say that if I was in a frame of mind where I could take off his arms and legs for no good reason except that he's Voldemort, it would be a frame of mind where I couldn't use the energy of love." Echoing Kingsley's comment from yesterday, he added, "It gives you a lot of power, but there's kind of a price-a feeling that violence is just unacceptable. I know that may be hard for people to understand, but I don't mind it. I'm not going to beat Voldemort with violence. I just had to get that bracelet off him."

"And the wand was burning hot," pointed out one of the girls. "He couldn't have used it like that anyway. Didn't you see the picture?"

"Yeah, that did look nasty," acknowledged Seamus, as Harry gave the girl an inquiring look. She turned to another page of the Prophet, and he saw a few pictures which Hugo had obviously got as images from Kingsley's memory. One was of him and Bright, Bright's hand extended, Harry holding up his to show why he couldn't shake Bright's hand. There was a small image of a magnifying glass hovering over his hand, indicating that holding the wand over the spot would magnify that part of the picture. Another picture was a close-up of his head and shoulders, dirty and bloodied, from soon after he had returned. Below the picture was a quote: 'I Didn't Escape Him, He Escaped Me.' Harry remembered having said it, but somehow it seemed different as a picture caption, more like boasting than he'd intended for it to sound.

"So, what's the plan for holiday?" asked Seamus with a grin. "Go finish him off?"

"I would, if I knew where to find him," he replied grimly.

Seamus raised his eyebrows, evidently not having expected that answer. "You really aren't afraid of him, are you?"

"No," Harry replied quietly. More to himself than to the others, he added, "No, right now, he's afraid of me." He left, and headed out to get breakfast.

As he exited the portrait hole, he got an impression from Hermione, via Fawkes. Don't say anything to anyone about last night, she sent. He got an image of Ginny, and an emotional impression of being upset.

He wanted to send back the question, do you mean she is upset, or that she might be upset, but he wasn't sure what to send to clarify it. He realized that communicating with a human through a phoenix was quite different from communicating with a phoenix. He would have no need to convey the abstract idea of future or past to Fawkes; he wondered if he and Hermione should invent some visual shorthand for concepts that phoenixes wouldn't use. Having an idea but wanting to understand her thinking, he sent back, why?

She'd like to do what I did, but she can't, not the same way, sent Hermione. Remember, she's sensitive about this. We should talk about this privately before you say anything to her.

We didn't do anything wrong, he sent. I'm so grateful for what you did, it really helped.

I know, and I'm glad, she replied as he neared the Great Hall. No, it's not wrong, but it's better to be careful. We don't want Ginny's feelings to get hurt if we can avoid it. Trust me, and talk to me privately as soon as you can.

Uneasy, he entered the Hall. He had some idea of why there could be a problem, but wasn't sure why it should be such a big thing. Heading to his usual spot, he sat; all his friends were already there, and most had apparently already finished their food. "I think that's about as late as you can get up and still get food," remarked Ron. "Of course, you're a teacher, so you could always get house-elves to deliver to your quarters. Did you need extra sleep from talking to Dumbledore too long?"

He shook his head. "Just had some trouble sleeping." He felt oddly guilty, even though he would have given the same answer if Hermione hadn't talked to him the night before.

Ginny gave him a sad look, and reached her hand across the table. "You know you can always talk to me, even if you think I might be asleep. My hand might not wake me up, but the pendant probably would." He took her hand and nodded, but said nothing.

"Well, Harry, there's already fallout from yesterday," said Hermione, handing him her copy of the Prophet. As he opened it, another copy fell on top of it. "Nice timing," he said, in the direction of the owl that dropped it.

"Well, he's probably been waiting for a half hour for you to show, so he could drop it and be on his way," pointed out Neville reasonably.

Harry shrugged. "Sorry," he called out facetiously to the departing owl, then opened the paper, handing Hermione back hers. There were two main front-page articles: one about Harry's abduction, and one about the Aurors being killed. Looking at the bottom of the page, he found the one Hermione was referring to, titled, 'Calls Grow In Ministry For Summary Execution Of Death Eaters In Custody.' Harry looked up at Hermione and raised his eyebrows; she gave him a small shrug and gestured for him to read.

In the wake of yesterday's Death Eater attacks on the Aurors and Harry Potter (see articles above) in which five Aurors died, wizards and witches both in and out of the Ministry started speaking out in favor of a temporary re-instituting of capital punishment, to be meted out to those involved in Death Eater attacks.

The Ministry itself has taken no position on the matter as yet, but sources inside the Ministry say that they are looking at the idea favorably. An Undersecretary who requested anonymity was quoted as saying, "I don't like it especially; it isn't what any of us would really prefer. But enough is enough. We have to protect people, to protect our citizens. How many have died at the hands of escaped Death Eaters? If they're dead, they won't kill any more. This is the only thing these people understand."

There are, of course, plenty who believe that even a temporary return to capital punishment is going too far. "Yes, it's a dire situation," agreed a high Ministry official. "But the state killing people is not the answer; we must simply do a better job of holding on to those we have. We value life, and for us to kill in cold blood sends the wrong message to our children: that any action can be justified in the right circumstances. Some things are simply wrong."

All agree that emotions are running high in the wizarding world in recent days. Over the past week and a half, twenty-five wizards have died, and many more would have but for Professor Potter and those who have learned to use his Killing Curse shield. Over the past year and two months, since last year's attack on the village of Hogsmeade, thirty-two Death Eaters in Ministry custody have escaped. A jail to replace Azkaban is in the early stages of construction, in high secrecy, but it will not be completed for some time-time enough, many fear, for those in custody now to be freed yet again, to kill yet again.

Conversations last night with residents of Hogsmeade and those shopping in Diagon Alley suggest that significant support exists for such measures. Three years ago, public opinion was firmly against capital punishment. But as the quote above from the Ministry Undersecretary suggests, many who do not approve of capital punishment in principle may be willing to support it in this particular situation. Furthermore, twenty-two were captured in yesterday's attack on the Aurors, putting further strain on the Ministry's ability to guard dangerous prisoners.

Minister of Magic Rudolphus Bright has not yet spoken publicly on this matter, and was unavailable for comment yesterday after spending the afternoon meeting with the Aurors and Professor Potter, then with Ministry officials well into the evening.

"Wow, this has got really bad," said Harry upon finishing the article. "I didn't realize people were this ready to do this."

"You can see the appeal, though," pointed out Hermione. "It would solve one problem on a practical level-you don't have to keep prisoners if you've killed them all-and nobody can say they don't deserve it. It's also more palatable if we say it's 'temporary.' I mean, it probably would be, but they're still talking about killing people. From a moral point of view, obviously, it doesn't really matter whether it's 'temporary' or not, but it sounds better."

Harry grunted in agreement. "Yes, it's temporary until there's no one left to kill. After that, they'll stop."

"I think they mean, temporary until Voldemort is defeated," suggested Ron. "Until then, any Death Eater that gets captured, that's it. You know, Harry," he said, looking at Harry solemnly, "I can't say I think this is a totally bad idea. Like that Undersecretary bloke said, I don't like it. But however many they have right now could get out at any time, and they'd kill again, we know that for sure."

"Obviously, we've already discussed this a bit," said Hermione. "I understand what Ron says, but I just can't get myself to agree to have a part in killing people, no matter how much they deserve it. It's a moral issue, and it shouldn't have anything to do with the practical aspects of our situation."

"I don't think you can separate them," responded Ron. "It seems more morally wrong to me, to let innocent people die to protect the lives of Death Eaters-"

"It's to protect a principle, Ron, not the Death Eaters' lives," snapped Hermione. "If you say it that way, you make it sound like anyone who opposes this is pro-Death Eater. That's how politicians talk when they want to make their opponents look bad. I've read enough political stuff by now, I know how it works."

"Well, I didn't mean that, obviously," conceded Ron. "You know what I meant."

"I assume, Harry, you're still not in favor of this, right?" asked Hermione.

He grimaced slightly. "I do see the point, and... I hadn't thought about capital punishment much before this year, but whenever I do now, I think of Sirius. If they'd had capital punishment then, I would never have met him."

"Well, obviously, we'd have to be really careful," said Ron.

"You mean, only kill the guilty ones?" responded Hermione sardonically. "It doesn't work that way. People make mistakes; if you have capital punishment, innocent people will eventually die. Azkaban was a living hell, but at least a person could be taken out if it turned out they were innocent."

"But I'm talking about where it's temporary," pointed out Ron. "I think we can be pretty sure that anyone the Aurors catch like this is guilty, and this would only be until the end of this situation."

"That's true," she conceded. "And I'm not happy at the thought of Death Eaters escaping and killing any of you, or anyone for that matter. I'm just saying, it's a really hard issue. I don't envy you, Harry." He gave her a puzzled look, not understanding what she meant. "You're going to be asked what you think, publicly," she said sympathetically.

"Then I'll say what I think," he replied, still not understanding why she felt it would be such a problem. "Do you think I shouldn't?"

"No, I'm not saying that. It just... could be complicated. What I would say is, you should definitely talk to Archibald before you say anything. You have to be careful, your words have impact."

"Yes, that's true," agreed Neville. "Just ask any of the dozens of people here who've been called 'unbelievable morons' in the past week."

"I didn't quite mean that kind of impact," said Hermione, though knowing that Neville was joking.

"I guess I should find him, see if he's going anywhere," said Harry. "I should talk to Kingsley, too, see what the Aurors think."

"Considering what happened yesterday, I'm not sure their opinion will be the same as it usually would," suggested Neville.

"Strictly from the point of view of the Aurors' best interests, they'd be for it," said Hermione. "Between that and their emotional response, it would be a pretty strong statement of principle for them to oppose it, and my impression isn't that they tend to take especially principled positions; most organizations take positions that reflect their interests. But, who knows; they might not even have a unified position at all. You've told me how they always argue." Neville nodded in agreement.

Swallowing a bite of his food, Harry said, "Normally, that would be enough to think about for one morning. But not today, I get to go do some open-brain surgery."

"Sounds kind of grim when you put it that way," remarked Ron.

"It feels kind of grim," said Harry. "I mean, his life is in my hands, and if I make one mistake... well, I try not to think about what could happen."

"It's not like that, Harry," said Pansy earnestly. "His life ended, in any way that matters, when he had the Cleansing done. You're just trying to give it back to him. If it doesn't work, then he's no worse off; I don't think you could make him any worse off. Not with love. Even if he ends up not able to function, it would be in a better way than he is now. I'd rather be dead than the way he is now, I know that. Even before I knew that dead people go where Albus is, I'd have felt that way. You're giving him a chance, not taking one from him. Please, look at it like that."

He nodded reluctantly, and continued working on his food. He didn't feel like eating, and wondered if it was nervousness. Five minutes later, he glanced up as McGonagall stood behind him. "Harry, I know you are not finished, but could I have a word with you?"

He got up and walked with her to the teachers' table. Before she could speak, he said, "I'll be there as soon as I'm done with breakfast." To her raised eyebrows, he added, "Albus told me that you would ask that. He also said you stayed up all night with Professor Snape. You must be tired."

She shook her head. "I had him make me a Wakefulness Potion. It was a good idea, in the sense that it gave him something to do while we waited. Then I had him make a Calming Potion for himself; he reluctantly agreed to do so.

"There is another thing. Professor Snape would very much like, when you go in, to dispense with any small talk. He told me that he tolerated it in your sessions because he knew they were difficult for you, and chatting first made you comfortable. In this situation, it is he who needs to be comfortable, though we both understand this is stressful for you as well. Nonetheless, the fewer words, the better."

"I shouldn't be surprised," he said. "Not that it matters, but is he any less mad at me than he was yesterday?"

"It is understandable that you would wonder what degree of hostility you will be facing," she said. "He is somewhat less angry with you, though that is not saying much. It is more a feeling of resignation now."

With a wry smile, he said, "You mean, like, what more can you expect from an addle-brained seventeen-year-old."

"Something like that, yes," she agreed, with the barest of smiles.

"Better than yesterday," he said with a small shrug. "I'll be there soon. Oh, by the way, is Archibald still here? There's something I want to talk to him about."

"He thought you might; I happened to run into him earlier. He is still here, so I will ask him to remain for a while. He has plenty of essays to mark, to keep him busy." She paused, seeming to think for a few seconds. "Good luck," she said solemnly. "I do believe that you will do fine." He nodded his thanks, and she gave him a brief pat on the shoulder as she walked away. Harry returned to his seat.

His friends continued the conversation they'd been having while he talked to McGonagall, not disturbing him as he finished his food. After taking his last bite, he looked up at the others. "You all going to the Burrow?"

Some nodded, but Hermione said, "I'm going to stay for a while, get started on correcting the exams; I don't want to leave them all to the last minute. I'll be along later, maybe in time for lunch." Come to my office after you're done with Snape, she sent to Harry nonverbally. He made eye contact with her to indicate his acknowledgment.

Harry stood, saying, "Well, I'm off. See you all later."

"It'll be fine, Harry," said Pansy. Ginny kissed him on the cheek, and looked into his eyes with an expression that conveyed confidence. He thanked them, then headed out of the Great Hall, toward Snape's quarters.

He stood in the hall outside Snape's quarters, getting himself into the same mental state he did before sessions with Snape. Though it was a very different situation, it seemed like a good idea, especially if Snape was going to be emotionally difficult. Five minutes later, he knocked on Snape's door, which opened immediately.

Harry walked in, noticing that Snape's quarters were as spartan as his office. Snape was sitting on his sofa, staring off into space in front of him. Harry walked over and took the chair nearest the sofa as Snape lay down. "Ready?" he asked.

"I would like you to do the Full-Body Bind on me before you begin, so there will be no thrashing," Snape requested evenly. "I would also prefer to be Silenced; if I need to speak, I will look at you."

Harry nodded. "Before I start, I want to see your memory of being Cleansed. I've seen Voldemort's, but it'll be helpful to see yours as well." With a small nod, Snape let Harry know that he could see it any time. "Keep it in the front of your mind; I may want to look at it sometimes."

Well, thought Harry, I know what I'm going to do, as well as I ever will. He put Snape in the Full-Body Bind, Silenced him, then called up the same memory that Voldemort had. Snape started to scream in pain at the very memory, then as Harry applied the energy of love as he had to Voldemort, Snape screamed again, differently; Harry could tell that it was different even though there was no sound. He kept it up, and Snape was unconscious after twenty seconds. Harry continued for another minute, not sure how much longer he should keep going.

With Snape still unconscious, Harry looked again for the memory of Snape's Cleansing, with a little more difficulty now that Snape wasn't assisting him. Finally locating it, he skipped ahead to the second memory Voldemort called up. Harry called it up, and started applying the energy of love to it. He wondered how many memories Voldemort used when doing the Cleansing; he knew he had to be patient. Snape had not yet regained consciousness when Harry had finished-or, he hoped he had finished, it was difficult to know-with that memory. It's much better when he's unconscious, thought Harry. I sure hope it's as effective. He looked for the third memory Voldemort had used when Cleansing Snape...

Responding to his knock, Hermione's office door swung open; Harry entered and sat down heavily into the guest's chair. "Tired?" she asked sympathetically.

He thought for a few seconds. "Kind of like, emotionally tired, or mentally tired. It's a lot of concentration, a lot of pressure."

"How did it go? How's he doing?"

With an expression that suggested that he himself wasn't sure, he replied, "It's hard to know how it went, for now. As for how he's doing... he's very weak, I guess you could say. He had a lot of... pain, discomfort, whatever you want to call it, in the past hour and a half, so even though he's conscious, he's not really with it right now. I don't know how long it'll be before we know anything. McGonagall's with him right now."

"Did you need his help while you did it?" she asked.

"A couple of times I asked him how something felt, if there was any difference between then and a few minutes ago, but after the first fifteen minutes, he wasn't in any condition to really answer questions. I think it was like, I was rubbing parts of his brain raw, and when you have that kind of pain for that long, it starts getting hard to say that one thing is better or worse than another. I asked him mainly because I wanted to know if an area was done. When I went over an area for the second time, it seemed to cause less pain than the first time, so I took that as a good sign."

Hermione shook her head in amazement. "Well, I guess there's one way we'll know whether it was really successful or not: if, after he's recovered, you can use the Imperius Charm on him successfully, then we'll know."

"Of course, it'll be a while before we try that," he said. "But I see what you mean."

After a short pause, she said, "I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable earlier, when I sent you that you shouldn't say anything to Ginny. I wasn't saying you should never tell her, just that I wanted to talk to you first. I was afraid that you'd just sit down this morning and mention it, and she might have a bad reaction."

"I know she's sensitive about it," said Harry, "but wouldn't she be happy that you helped me?"

Hermione's face reflected her uncertainty. "On one level, yes, I'm sure she would. But Harry, this is going to be an issue between you and her. I hope it's not much of one, but you remember what happened on the day of the attempt on Bright."

"But you said she apologized for that later on."

Doing her best to be patient, Hermione said, "She apologized for being snippy with me, not for the feelings she had. It's really understandable that she'd be sensitive about this, Harry. You and I are really close, and generally, she has no problem with that, partly because she and I are such good friends too. She knows what our relationship is. But since I got Flora, there are now two ways that you and I can communicate without words, and both are arguably very... intimate. I mean, communicating directly with feelings, without words, is wonderful. I wish I could do it with Neville. You made me feel really good that day, and I know I helped a lot last night. I'm not saying I shouldn't have done it; you really needed it, and I was very glad that I could help you. But Ginny may have mixed feelings, and I wanted to make sure you were aware of that."

Harry was still confused, and thinking that he shouldn't be, that there was something obvious he wasn't getting. "Do you mean she'll wish that you hadn't done it?"

"No, I mean she'll wish she could have," explained Hermione. "She'll also wish that you had called her on her pendant and talked to her. You heard what she said earlier, even without knowing that I helped you like I did. If you're in distress, she wants you to reach out to her, so she can help you. It's up to you to decide whether or not to mention to her what I did last night. I'm just saying, if you do, be aware that it could be a sensitive topic. She might not even tell you that she's upset, if she is, because she might be ashamed of feeling that way. Two months ago, it just sort of spilled out, because she was upset."

"But I shouldn't be hiding things like this from her, should I? I mean, I don't feel like there was anything wrong with what happened, but hiding it makes it feel like it was wrong."

She nodded. "I know, that's why the situation is delicate. You probably just didn't think of calling her, you were alone with your thoughts. Well, not really, but usually people in that situation would be. You didn't ask me for help, I just offered it. You might think, neither of us did anything wrong, so why should she be upset? Well, if she's upset, it wouldn't be at you or I exactly, just the situation-the situation where because of not having a phoenix and not doing Legilimency, she can't have the kind of connection with you that I have. That's not her fault either, it's really understandable. If another woman, even a friend, had those connections with Neville and I didn't, I might feel the same way. It's nobody's fault, but it has to be dealt with, or at least thought about."

Harry took a minute to think. He felt lost, not sure of what to do. "Do you think I should tell her, or not tell her?"

She let out a short sigh. "I don't know. In principle, the best thing to do is tell her, but it's also riskier. She was upset with you last time partly because of the timing of you telling her what you did, after she said it kind of bothered her. Honestly, there are good points and bad points for either one. The reason to tell her would be because you don't want to keep any secrets from her; the reason not to would be that you know it might upset her, and there's no particular need for her to know."

"Have you told Neville, or will you?"

She nodded her acknowledgment of the pertinence of the question. "I haven't had a chance to talk to him privately, but the answer is no, I'm not going to go out of my way to tell him. He isn't as bothered about this subject as Ginny-at least, not that I know of-but I don't see any reason to specifically mention it. If he asked if it's been especially helpful for us to be able to communicate like we do, I'd say yes, and if he asked for an example, I'd tell him. I don't mean for this to be a secret, Harry, or that there's anything wrong with it. I love Neville, and you love Ginny; they both know that. I just have to think about Neville's feelings in some situations, and you do with Ginny. It's hard for you, for both of you, the way your life is. You just have to decide which one you think is better."

He sighed in mild frustration. "I don't know which is better, that's the problem."

"I'm sorry, Harry," she said sincerely. "I wish I could decide for you, but I can't. I would only say that you shouldn't lie. If by some strange chance she asked me if that kind of thing had ever happened, I would tell her the truth, and so should you. If you start lying to each other, even with good intentions, you could lose each other's trust, and that's really bad. Trust me, I know," she added, with a very regretful expression.

"You never lied to Neville," Harry pointed out.

"No, but I did lose his trust-"

"By not telling him something you should have," Harry finished.

"By not telling him that I did something that violated his privacy," responded Hermione. "This isn't the same thing. I had an obligation to tell Neville then, and I didn't. It's not nearly so clear that you have any particular obligation to tell Ginny about this. She knows that we communicate by phoenix; we don't go out of our way to mention it every time we do it. Another reason I won't mention it to Neville is that while I'm not trying to hide it, I don't want to rub his nose in it, either. If it comes up naturally, I'll tell him."

Harry still felt at a loss as to how to deal with the situation. "Well, I'll think about it," he finally said. "It's not as though I don't have enough to think about anyway, though. I still need to go talk to Archibald, so I suppose I can fit it in between worrying about capital punishment, and about whether Snape will be all right or not."

"Maybe you could ask him about this," she suggested. "He was married for a long time, his opinion would probably be more valuable than mine."

He gave her a 'maybe I will' nod as he stood. He looked down for a second, then looked at her and said, "I really do appreciate what you did. After what we talked about, I feel bad saying this, but talking to Ginny on our hands wouldn't have helped as much as that did. I hadn't realized how weak words are, compared to feelings. I wish I could do that with her, too."

"If it ever comes up, tell her that," urged Hermione. "You can't do the same thing with her, but it'll mean something to her that you'd like to be able to. Even if you think she would know that, you should say it anyway."

He nodded again. "See you back at the Burrow," he said, and left.

He wasn't sure whether to look in Dentus's quarters or his office, so he checked the map, then headed to Dentus's quarters. "Harry, come in," said Dentus, after opening the door in response to Harry's knock. "Have a seat."

Harry sat in one of the two large, comfortable chairs that seemed to be in every teacher's quarters, at least those he had seen so far. Dentus put aside the essays he had been reading, as Harry asked, "What are you doing for holiday?"

"Minerva's asked that I stay here, to help keep an eye on things," he said with mild amusement. "I'm sure that she made the request of me in particular out of concern for my safety; she knows that I'm still at a certain amount of risk at my home. It's fairly small, but I wouldn't have gone back anyway. I probably will make a few trips in, see some people. How about you?"

"Voldemort probably knows that better than I do. You know what I'd prefer, which is to do nothing, just lie around and relax. But who knows if that's what I'll get to do."

"Seems like you're getting closer to being able to do that, though," commented Dentus. "The article was conspicuously silent on certain specifics, but it sounded like you were pretty close to taking him out. One stroke of good luck, and you might have him."

One stroke of good thinking, and we might have him now, Harry thought. He shrugged, wanting to complain about his own stupidity, but managed to simply say, "I really hope so. Well, I wanted to talk to you about this business in the paper today. What do you think I ought to do?"

"You should start out by telling me what you want to do," suggested Dentus. "I'm sure you don't need me to tell you how you feel about it, just to tell you what the political ins and outs are, what could happen if you do any particular thing. First of all, I assume you're opposed to this."

"Yes, I am. It said in the paper that Bright hadn't spoken about it yet, so I guess he hasn't made up his mind. If I talked to him, do you think he'd listen?"

"He'd definitely listen, but I think you mean, 'would he be more likely to do what I'd like him to do,' and that's a difficult question," said Dentus thoughtfully. "A lot of it depends on something we can't know: whether or not he has strong personal feelings on the issue. His feelings may influence him one way or the other. I can tell you, though, what's what if he views it as a strictly political matter, where his personal feelings don't enter into it, or aren't important."

"Okay, tell me that, then," asked Harry.

"If that's the case, he's going to be for it, for sure," said Dentus. "There's just no political downside to this. It's the practical thing to do, and it'll very likely save innocent lives. Some people will oppose it, a few strongly, but most people don't get excited about matters of principle, sad to say. Security will always trump principle in the public arena. And you don't even have to be for it in general to be for it now, since it's advertised as being only temporary. He can say what that unnamed Undersecretary said in the article, and people would nod and say, yes, it's a shame, but the Minister's right, something has to be done. He would also be on the right side of people's emotions. It's not hard to imagine a rally through Hogsmeade or Diagon Alley, led by the relatives of the people killed, calling for the Death Eaters' heads. That would get a lot of sympathy; it would take a brave politician to oppose that. And in politics, there's a joke that 'brave' is short for 'politically imprudent.'

"There is also a big downside to opposing this: it would put him on the spot for whatever happens next. If a lot of Death Eaters were broken out, he'd be blamed, and his popularity could easily dive. It would be an enormous chance to take, and from a straight political point of view, isn't worth taking. It's not a tough call."

Harry recalled that Bright had said that most of the time, he would do the thing that got him the most support rather than what was right. "Suppose he wanted to oppose it, but was afraid to for the reasons you said. If I publicly opposed it, how much would that help him?"

"Quite a bit," said Dentus. "You'd be giving him cover, at least for a while. You'd essentially be saying, 'If things go wrong, you can blame me, not him.' That would work for as long as your popularity lasted, and that would be as long as there were no escapes and relatively few killings. Once your popularity was more or less exhausted, he'd be on the spot again. Speaking as someone who has your best interests at heart, that would be a hell of a thing to risk your popularity on."

"But what good is my popularity, if not to spend on doing the right thing?" asked Harry.

"Of course, you have to decide that," conceded Dentus. "But you know very well that the chances of things going badly are high. Using your popularity for this would essentially be a Dumbledore thing to do; it wouldn't last long. You might be able to do better things with it if you kept it. Suppose something controversial needs to be done at some point to help catch Voldemort. If you spend it on this, you very likely won't have it then."

"It sounds like you're saying that I shouldn't oppose it, even if I think it's wrong," observed Harry.

"Not exactly. It's more like I'm saying that it's a gamble, and not a very good one. You could oppose it, things could-and probably would-go badly, then you could lose your influence and the executions would happen anyway, just later. I know you're not about practicality, but that's what you have me for."

"Just out of curiosity, suppose Bright looks at it from just a political point of view, and I tell him that I'm going to do everything I can to oppose this. Could I succeed in stopping it, and is there any chance that my doing that would change his mind? That is, would the politics change for him?"

Dentus smiled. "You really are learning; you wouldn't have asked this question a half a year ago. The answer to the second question is that it almost certainly wouldn't change his mind. He'd say, be my guest; I'll support it, and if you stop it, that's fine, but if things go badly then I'll shake my head sadly and say, he meant well, but look what's happened. He'd be on the right side of the issue politically.

"As to your first question, we can't know for sure, but I think there's a decent chance that you'd be able to stop it, at least for a while. If you killed or captured Voldemort fairly soon, it could hold, and you'd have stopped it. A lot would depend on what happened after that. But yes, if you made it a cause, made it a priority, you could do a lot to stop it. There would just be a high risk, and a high price tag, not just a political one." To Harry's querulous expression, Dentus added, "Stepping outside of politics for a minute, I'm referring to what would happen if you stopped it, and there was a mass escape, followed by an increase in killings. Politically, you would be blamed. Worse, personally, you would blame yourself. That's not something I want to see."

Harry was silent for a minute as he pondered what Dentus had said. It seemed like a very high price to pay for doing the right thing. Struck by a sudden thought, he asked, "Archibald... personally, not politically, how would you feel if I opposed this publicly?"

Dentus nodded slowly, understanding Harry's meaning. "It's thoughtful of you to ask; I know it's because of Sarah that you do. But it wouldn't bother me. Personally, I don't oppose it. I'm all for principle, but I can't sacrifice people's lives to it like Albus was willing to. Not that people would definitely die, but there's a good chance of it. If you opposed it, I would respect that, and support you publicly.

"But, again in a non-political vein... I am concerned about something, and that's you. If what I mentioned before happened, you'd suffer for it, and I don't know how much you can bear, on top of all your other things. If you stopped it, you'd be taking responsibility for it. If you let it pass, it's just the will of society; you have nothing to do with it either way. I just want to be sure you understand what you could be getting yourself into."

Harry's own words to the second years echoed in his mind: Don't go into danger unless you know what you're facing. If he involved himself in this situation, he would be facing a great moral danger either way he chose. "If I could stop it, and don't, am I then responsible for what happens?" he wondered aloud, more to himself than Dentus.

"You can't place all that on your shoulders, Harry," Dentus said gently. "It's just too much. You're one person, and there are societal forces at work here. It's too much to ask of one person that he risk so much to try to push back those forces. You do so much as it is. Give yourself a break."

"Thanks," said Harry, appreciating Dentus's sentiment. "I'm going to at least talk to Bright, see what he says. If I decide to do anything, I'll let you know before I do. But it is very tempting to just decide to do nothing for two weeks except enjoy being with Ginny, and everyone at the Burrow."

"I hope you can manage it," said Dentus.

"I'll try," said Harry. "Oh, there's one other thing I was thinking about, about the meeting tomorrow with the parents. I was worried that some parents might blame her for what happened last week, even though it wasn't her fault, and she can't tell them how it happened because of security. Do you think it would help if Bright showed up at the meeting, and told the parents why McGonagall can't say anything about it, and let them know that she has his support, that kind of thing?"

Harry saw on Dentus's face an expression he'd seen a number of times before; he thought of it as Dentus's 'it would be nice if life were like that, but it isn't' expression. "Yes, it would help, but he's not going to do it. There's nothing in it for him, and it's risky. The problem for him is that if he does that, he's joining her in assuring the parents that the students will be safe, meaning that if it happened again, he'd be joining her in taking the blame. There's just no good reason for him to do that."

Harry exhaled, frustrated with politics. "That really seems... cowardly."

Dentus nodded in sympathy. "You would put your life on the line to support a friend, so I can understand why you would say that. But, honestly, Harry, if I were him, I wouldn't do it either. It would be a kind and supportive thing to do, but it just wouldn't help Professor McGonagall that much. He does support what you do, I think you know that. It's just a matter of spending political capital where it's most effective. Maybe it's a little similar to when in July, Fudge asked you and the others to protect him. The costs outweighed the benefits, and you didn't do it, which in spite of what happened was the right decision." Seeing Harry's expression of regret, Dentus added, "Again, that was not your fault; he wasn't careful enough. Anyway, I do think you'll get his support when you ask him to do something that has tangible, real benefits that offset the political risks."

At that moment, Harry wasn't so sure of that, but he supposed Dentus knew better than he. He thanked Dentus, and left.

Outside Dentus's quarters, as Harry called Fawkes, he had an odd thought: he felt as though he really wanted a hamburger, even though it wasn't lunchtime yet. It just sounded good. Maybe we can go to Diagon Alley, he thought. A year ago, he would have worried about the danger; now, he didn't, because he was sure he and the others could stop anything that happened.

As Harry reached for Fawkes' tail feathers, an owl fluttered into view, and settled on his shoulder. "Sorry, Fawkes," said Harry, as Fawkes perched on Harry's free shoulder. He started to walk toward McGonagall's office, but the owl took flight, heading in another direction. Ah, she must be somewhere else, he thought. He followed the owl to the Great Hall, where he found McGonagall at the teachers' table.

"I wanted to let you know that a time has been decided for the meeting we discussed," she said. "It will be held at two p.m. tomorrow. The location is being kept undisclosed for security reasons; attendees will go to the Ministry, and from there, be directed further. You and Hermione should go to Auror headquarters; they will take you from there."

"Okay, thanks," he said. "Oh, Professor... what do you think, about the thing in the paper this morning?"

"Taking a survey, are you?" she asked, with a shrewd expression. "Well, there is enough of Albus in me that I do not support it. Killing is wrong, and while you already know that I will condone it under extraordinary circumstances, I believe that it is possible to keep prisoners in custody without resorting to this. Maximum measures have not yet been attempted, and I do not believe in killing for the sake of revenge, which I believe this would be. This is society's revenge. It is understandable, but it is still revenge."

He nodded. "Thanks."

She hesitated for a moment, then added, "Before I let you go... I am concerned, that if you decide to take this upon yourself..." She trailed off as he nodded, indicating that she needn't continue. "Archibald already talked to me about this. But, thanks."

"We are both concerned, as I am sure others will be. Well, you should go. I will see you tomorrow, and you can contact me on my pendant if you wish." Fawkes took flight, and they were gone.

He was suddenly in the kitchen at the Burrow; Molly and Ginny were talking as Molly prepared lunch. "Harry!" they exclaimed in chorus. Molly stepped over and hugged him tightly, then kissed him on the cheek. Ginny patiently waited her turn, then gave him a long kiss on the lips. "There's more where that came from," she assured him with a smile.

Smiling as well, he replied, "Great, let's go upstairs."

Molly chuckled. "Don't tempt me," responded Ginny.

Looking around, Harry said, "It's good to be back here. It really... feels like home. Funny how you appreciate that when you never really had it."

"It warms my heart to hear you say that, dear," said Molly as she returned her attention to food preparation. "Now, go on into the living room, I think they're waiting for you."

He did, and was soon greeted by Arthur. "Good to see you, Harry," he said. He started to offer his hand, then remembered, and patted Harry on the back instead.

"Good to see you..." Harry trailed off as he looked past Arthur into the living room. He saw Ron, Pansy, Hermione, Neville... and to his shock, sitting at the computer... "Dudley?" he exclaimed, eyebrows rising high.

Enjoying Harry's expression, Dudley got up and approached him, hand extended. "Hi there... come to think of it, maybe I shouldn't get my hand anywhere near you. You might have a flashback," he joked, comically withdrawing his hand slightly.

Ginny stepped over and ostentatiously looked at Dudley's wrist. "No, no bracelet, so it should be okay. But you might want to shake the hand that wasn't badly burned yesterday."

"Yes, Harry's so absent-minded, he'd probably forget, and shake it anyway," said Ron.

"Actually, it's a lot better today, I can move it around with only a little pain-"

"You're still going to St. Mungo's, though," warned Ginny. "You're not getting out of that."

"If you say so, dear," he joked.

Ginny gave him a 'very funny' look. "Yeah, it doesn't look too bad, compared to that picture in the paper," noted Dudley. "And before you ask 'what's he doing here?' this is the third time I've been over here in the past few months."

"You gave us his e-mail address, so we've been in contact since we got the computer," explained Arthur. "We've talked a fair bit on the chatting software."

"The what?" asked Harry.

"It's like a computer equivalent to the notebooks you bought for Pansy last year," said Arthur, "it lets people communicate in writing at a distance. Muggles can do more and more things with technology that we do with magic. Anyway, we talked a few times, and Molly and I told him that he should come over some weekend when he was free."

"And Mum wouldn't find out about it," added Dudley. "Not that I can't do what I want, but I just don't need the reaction."

"I can only imagine," agreed Harry, still stunned. "Did you take the fireplace over?"

Dudley nodded. "It turns out there's a public fireplace not too far from Smeltings, so it's no problem. I could do it from home, but I'd have to be careful, obviously. Long as I don't come home a toad, they'll never know."

"Just stay away from Fred and George, you should be fine," joked Ron.

"Now, Dudley, I've told you that that's a misconception, that people don't get turned into toads," admonished Molly.

"Notice she didn't deny the bit about Fred and George," said Ron. "People do get turned into ferrets, though." He went on to explain the reference to Dudley, who laughed.

Harry knew that Arthur's interest in Dudley was mostly due to his general interest in Muggles; he wondered whether Molly's part in getting to know Dudley better was a part of her effort to reconcile Harry and the Dursleys. As for Dudley, he had no idea, and could only guess that Dudley was simply becoming more and more interested in the wizarding world. He wondered if his own fame made it more interesting for Dudley.

"So, you're still reading those internet pages about wizarding?" asked Harry.

"More than that," said Arthur. "He's in contact with some of the people who write them."

Harry's eyebrows shot up again. "And they know who you are?"

Dudley chuckled. "Yes, it's pretty amazing, just being Harry Potter's cousin gets people's interest. I didn't tell them who I was at first, I just said that I was a Muggle with a relative who was a wizard. I got to know them a little bit, then later I told them who I was. They were pretty surprised."

I'll bet, Harry thought. He was impressed that Dudley had even bothered to do that, considering the hostile reaction Harry knew he would receive based on the Skeeter article.

"Do they ask you all kinds of questions about Harry?" asked Pansy, with a teasing glance at Harry.

"A few," he said. "I just tell them that I hadn't seen him much since he went to Hogwarts, and that he was just a normal kid before that. They're more interested in what he's doing now, and I can't tell them much about that."

"But they're reading the Prophet, aren't they?" asked Neville.

"Not only that, they scan it in and put anything interesting on their site," said Dudley. "But they don't believe the Prophet tells them everything. For example, just now, I've been talking to some people. They put up the articles from this morning, which is how I read about it. They're sure there's a lot about what happened that the paper didn't include, that there are a lot of gaps in the story."

"Well, of course," said Hermione. "Some things have to be kept secret, I'm sure they understand the need for that."

"Oh, they know," agreed Dudley. "That doesn't stop them from guessing, though. I think it's kind of fun for them, actually. Right now, the big topic is exactly how you're going to end up defeating Voldemort."

Harry chuckled. "They shouldn't bother, they couldn't possibly guess it."

"Oh, so you know what it is," noted Dudley. "They thought you didn't yet. They said that you said to your class that you would know what to do when the time came, which meant you didn't know what it was. I guess you found out yesterday."

"Don't tell anyone, even that," said Neville. "That's seriously something we don't want Voldemort knowing."

"I don't think Voldemort reads these pages," said Dudley lightly. "They complain that hardly any witches and wizards do. But I won't tell anyone anyway, don't worry. I suppose they could gossip about it directly to others, and it could get out that way. Even then, it would only be a rumor. I think anything that's not in that paper is more or less a rumor."

Harry was stunned again. "How in the world do they know what I said to my classes? And that was only a week ago!"

"Yes, you should be surprised," said Ginny, with a straight face. "No one really takes an interest in anything you say."

"People would find that particular comment very interesting, considering it addressed one thing they really want to know about," pointed out Hermione. "I assume that someone mentioned it in an owl, maybe more than one person, and it spread. It could have even been someone not in that class, but who heard about it from someone who was."

Harry shook his head in amazement. "I guess I'd better be pretty careful what I say, then." He took Ginny's hand and sat on the sofa, putting an arm around her. "Boy, is it nice to be able to do this again," he said, smiling at her. "I kind of got used to it over the summer."

"You sure you don't just want to go upstairs?" smirked Dudley.

Seeing an opportunity too good to pass up, Harry responded, "I'm flattered, Dudley, but I really prefer Ginny."

The other five chuckled as Dudley gave Harry an annoyed look. "I guess I walked right into that one," he admitted as he sat back down at the computer.

Ron, Neville, and Pansy started talking about classes and the end-of-term examinations, while Harry listened, relaxed, and enjoyed holding Ginny. It seemed very strange for Dudley to be around, but Harry knew he wouldn't be there too much over the holidays, if only because it was difficult for him to arrange. Still, he wasn't behaving badly, so Harry supposed he didn't mind.

After about ten minutes, Harry was jolted out of his reverie. "Hey," said Dudley. "I'm talking with a few people in Hogsmeade, and they say their magic isn't working."

Harry and the others exchanged worried glances. "Do you suppose they could have planted lutas in Hogsmeade also?" asked Ginny.

"I can't see why not, it would be easier than getting them into Hogwarts," said Hermione.

"How many people are saying that, Dudley?" asked Arthur.

"Two... no, a third said so too, and he said no one in his family can," said Dudley, looking at the screen intently.

"Arthur," said Harry, "go to the Aurors, get Winston. If we have to go-"

"Shouldn't we go anyway, just as a precaution?" asked Hermione urgently. "I mean, what if-"

"They say there's strange sounds," reported Dudley, as Harry and Ginny stood. "Popping noises... it sounds like they're describing gunfire-"

Fawkes and Flora burst into view, above Harry and Hermione. "Repulsion Charms!" he said unnecessarily as Ginny and Ron threw arms around his shoulders. Arthur dashed for the fireplace, and they were gone.

On the main road in Hogsmeade, Harry looked around as Hermione, Neville, and Pansy arrived. There were no obvious assailants, but he could now also hear machine gun fire in the distance. "Groups of two, don't worry about Stunning them, just let them shoot," suggested Harry, worried that a lucky shot while a Stunning Spell was being done would hit just as the Repulsion Charm was down. He knew that the Repulsion Charm tended to last for about five seconds if the user wasn't focusing on keeping it going, but he didn't want to take even the smallest chance that one of his friends would become so involved in Stunning attackers that they'd forget to update the Repulsion Charm. Fleetingly, he realized these were different instructions than he'd given against the mercenaries in September, but he had no time to stop and wonder why.

Harry ran off, Ginny's hand in his, as the other four went the other way down the road, away from Hogwarts. He got closer to the sound of the guns, when suddenly he heard more, from a new direction. He and Ginny turned a corner and saw a man with a gun, his back partially turned from them. Ginny shot off a Stunning Spell immediately, and the man went down.

"Next time, just yell, let him shoot," said Harry, almost shouting, concerned for Ginny's safety. "There could be snipers."

"What's a sniper?" asked Ginny.

Harry ran again, deciding to explain it later. "Look!" he exclaimed. He pointed to a spot four buildings away, where four men with machine guns turned the corner, and started firing into a home through the windows. He and Ginny broke into a run. He shouted, "Hey! Over here!"

Seeing Harry and Ginny, the gunmen opened fire. It was strange, Harry felt, to run into gunfire rather than dodge away from it. Expecting to see the gunmen go down, Harry was startled to see the scene change dramatically: in an instant, the gunmen were on the ground, wrapped in ropes, and Hermione was standing in front of he and Ginny, two yards away.

They came skidding to a stop. "What the..." gaped Harry. He glanced at Ginny, who pointed to her neck, then to Hermione. Ah, he realized, the time-stopping device.

"It's all under control, and Aurors and St. Mungo's emergency people are here," Hermione informed them. "They're looking for anyone in their homes who might be hurt. Ron, Neville, and Pansy are Apparating people in."

Harry's first thought was to help, but then he had a better idea. "I'm going to Apparate around, see if I can sense any Death Eaters. They wouldn't be attacking, but they might be nearby." As he spoke, he got an impression from Fawkes that Fawkes and Flora had looked around, and hadn't yet seen any lutas nearby. Exchanging a glance with Hermione, he saw that Flora had informed her as well.

"Good idea," said Hermione. "I'm going to go help with moving people, I just wanted to let you know what had happened." She Disapparated.

"Coming?" he asked Ginny.

"You bet. You should Apparate me around, since you're the one who's deciding where to go."

He started to Apparate them from place to place. At the fifth place, the end of the main road of Hogsmeade, there was a man in black robes running toward him. He immediately applied the Imperius Charm, and the man came to a stop a few feet in front of Harry and Ginny.

"Who are you?" asked Harry. "What are you doing?"

"I'm Norbert Simmons," the man replied. "I live over there. I was just taking a walk and I heard the sounds, I was coming back to find out what was going on."

Harry lifted the Charm. "It's all right, it's taken care of," he assured the man. "We're checking for Death Eaters who still might be around, sorry I had to do that."

The man's eyes widened. "That was the Imperius Charm?"

Harry nodded. "Sorry, we have to go."

His hand on Ginny's shoulder, he Disapparated again. In the field where the Sorting had been done, they saw nothing. He Apparated to a place further out of Hogsmeade, and saw another man in a black robe, about twenty yards away, also running, but away from Hogsmeade. Harry Apparated very close to the man, and applied the Imperius Charm; the man collapsed, screaming.

Harry looked toward where the man had been running. He could see nothing except an old tennis racquet on the ground fifteen feet ahead. As the Death Eater stopped screaming and passed out, he ran toward it.

"Harry? What are you doing?"

"This could be a-"

"Harry, no!" screamed Ginny as Harry grabbed the racquet. His world spun, and he was suddenly in a junkyard. He looked around to see if he'd been seen; there were a few people, but apparently his appearance had gone unnoticed. Dropping the racquet, he looked around, and realized his task was hopeless. No doubt one had to find another Portkey to return to base, and there were literally thousands of things that it could be; he couldn't start picking up everything. Frustrated, he picked up the racquet again, and in a second, was back where he had been before.

The Death Eater was in ropes, unconscious. Very anxious, Ginny ran up to Harry. "Are you all right?"

He nodded. "It was just a junkyard. Obviously, to get to Death Eater headquarters, you have to know which item in the junkyard is the Portkey."

"So when you grabbed that thing, you were hoping to be taken to their headquarters?"

"Something like that," he agreed.

Her mouth dropped open in shock and anger. "Are you serious? Do you know how incredibly stupid that was?" she yelled. "Running into Death Eater Central alone, when there could have been a hundred Dark wizards waiting for you? That was your plan?"

"They couldn't have done anything-"

"You're not indestructible!!" she screamed. "You could be killed! And if you keep on doing things like that, you will be! Do you know how hard this is for me, just what happens all the time anyway? How hard it was not to say anything yesterday after you ignored Albus's warning? I didn't say anything about that, because I know why you went, you had to help the Aurors. If I'd been there, I'd have been begging and pleading for you not to go, but I know you'd have gone anyway. But this? This is so..." she trailed off, at a loss for words.

Harry had never seen her so angry, and felt chagrined, defensive, and angry himself. "I was going to say, they couldn't have done anything before I'd be able to Disapparate away. I wasn't planning on taking all of them on. I was going to Disapparate, and get you guys and the Aurors, and go in."

"Did you hear anything I just said?" she demanded, still shouting. "You're acting like there was no risk in what you did. There was a huge risk! But I'm not only talking about it as something tactical, I'm talking as the person whose life is going to be ruined if you get killed! Would you please think about it like that for a minute? What if I went running off into who knows what danger without a thought? Would that bother you?"

He stared at her, angry and trying to calm down. He didn't answer, because he knew it would bother him. "I have to fight Voldemort, I have to do things like this."

"You have to fight Voldemort, but you don't have to do things like this," she said with intensity. "You don't have to go running through every door, not knowing where it'll lead. I know how badly you want to get him-"

"No, you don't!" he shouted, as his chest tightened. He felt tears threaten, and was amazed at how fast it had happened. "I have to..."

Her anger faded somewhat, replaced by sadness and compassion. "No, you don't. You have nothing to make up for. I know you feel like you do, but you don't. Please, don't do this to yourself."

"I should have had him yesterday," he said quietly, doing his best to hold back his emotions. "Maybe it's 'understandable' that I didn't, but I should have..."

"That's done, Harry. All you can do is what you can do from now forward. If you made a mistake yesterday-and I don't accept that you did-but even if you did, you can only make up for it by doing better, by thinking better. And this was not good thinking, it was a lack of thinking. It was running into a dangerous situation totally blind."

He stared at her, his emotions churning, trying to work out what he thought. She reached out and took his left hand in hers. "Just promise me one thing," she said, her tone very serious. "The next time you want to do something like this, take me with you. Take me, and I won't complain, no matter what you do. If it's safe, there's no harm in taking me, and if it's not, then I'd rather die with you than live alone."

"But you might die, and I might live," he pointed out.

"Then at least, you'd still be alive," she said, looking into his eyes.

"If you were gone, I wouldn't care," he said.

"That's right," she agreed. "Think about that, and put yourself in my position, the next time you do something like what you just tried to do. You'll understand how it makes me feel."

He suddenly understood, in a way he hadn't thought of before. More not thinking, he thought ruefully. Before, if he risked his life, he didn't really think about how it would affect anyone but himself. He now realized that he had to think about his own life with the value equal to what he placed on Ginny's, because that was what it meant to her, and if it was important to her, it had to be important to him.

She saw the realization in his eyes, and stepped forward to hug him. "I'm sorry," he said, as he buried his head in her shoulder. "As much for not understanding how you feel as for taking the Portkey."

"Relationships are hard, Albus said so when he was alive," she said, holding him tightly. "For someone in your position, who has the burdens you have, it's even harder. It's hard for you to think about how things affect me, because they're so hard for you anyway. I understand that, I really do. I do my best to be tolerant. It's just... sometimes I can't deal with something, like this. So, this happens."

He continued holding her, unable to think of anything to say, except the one thing he could always say. "I love you," he said.

"I love you, too," she answered. She let go of him, then reached up and touched his face. "Let me ask you, and I promise I won't be upset at either answer... if you had to choose between taking that Portkey with me, or not doing it, which would you have done?"

He found that he didn't have to think hard. "I wouldn't have done it."

She nodded slowly. "There you are. I just want you to think of every risk you take for yourself as if it were one for me, too, because it is."

He breathed deeply, then said, "I'm afraid if I do that, I'll be paralyzed with fear. Sometimes I think that not thinking about the danger I'm in is part of what gets me through it."

"I can understand that. But it still doesn't change how I feel. Maybe there's a middle area somewhere, where you can at least consider it without being paralyzed by it. Just, please, take a second to think about things."

"Everyone keeps telling me that, you'd think I'd listen at some point." Gesturing to the Death Eater on the ground, he said, "Is he still unconscious?"

She leaned over to look at his face. "I think so. Why?"

"I'd be curious to know what caused the magic to go out," he said. He did Legilimens on the man, searching for memories of his mission. At least I don't have to worry about doing this to Death Eaters anymore, he thought, Snape is already blown.

Ginny was silent while he did it. After five minutes, he stood. He walked in the direction of where the Portkey had been, and picked up what looked like a dark stone, except it was shaped like a perfect right triangle, an inch thick, the longest side five inches long. "C'mon, let's get him back to Auror headquarters."

"What's that?" she asked.

Holding it up, he answered, "One of the four pieces of what Snape referred to as the Four Corners artifact."