A Comedy of Errors

When I finally woke, my head was spinning. A face floated across my mind, and I swore. It had been a dream, hadn't it? I had somehow dozed off, and dreamed that he had come running up in the middle of it all, touched a hand to the side of my face...

Damn my imagination. My eyes snapped open and there was Tonks, familiar. She was smiling more broadly than I was used to, as if there was some joke she hadn't told me about yet.

A voice rang out, joyful. "Would you all stop being so bloody serious?" I sat bolt upright. That voice was eerily familiar. The next thing I knew, he was walking across the living room, shaking dark hair back out of his eyes, carrying a mug of something that steamed faintly.

He pressed it into my hands and sat on the arm of the couch beside Tonks, grinning. I inhaled. Cocoa. Oh, no. I was definitely still dreaming if I had Sirius and chocolate.

"Stop looking so down! You'd think you'd seen a ghost." He smirked. "What's wrong, Moony? Aren't you going to welcome me into the land of the living?"

I must have hit my head harder than I'd thought. He tossed his own head, knocking the strands of dark hair back out of his vision. I'd had enough. I started to get up, shaking my head. "...Pinch me," I muttered, and swayed slightly.

"Don't be ridiculous!" He jumped down and caught hold of me. I pulled back, startled. It didn't feel like a dream. "I've only just come back, and now you want me to hurt you?"

It occurred to me that either this was the oddest lucid dream I had ever had, or this was actually real. My dreams weren't usually this stubborn... which meant that he was actually standing there, living, breathing. I froze.

Sometime in that second, I'd forgotten that I was holding the mug of cocoa. It fell, spilling down his robes, and then he was yelping in pain. I wanted to slam my head into the nearest wall.

Idiot. Idiot. I watched as he was taken away by a nameless, faceless Weasley, and I sank to the couch, numb with shock. Tonks was laughing at me, sliding down to sit beside me, her arm around my shoulders.

"Well, if you wanted a way to make him think you're out of your mind, that should do the trick." I wanted to hit her for laughing. I was almost as bad as the teenagers who inhabited this place. But could I help it? Sirius was alive. ALIVE. That fact was still sinking in , even as I tried to stop myself from doing something stupid.

The sight of Harry breaking into an impromptu tango with Ginny brought a smile to my face, though Tonk's laughter faded. I took the chance to lean up and whisper, "And you tell me I'm acting odd?" There was the collective 'aw' we always received when she shifted into my lap, and her laughter started up again. According to the other residents of the house, we were a 'cute couple', which Tonks found highly amusing.

"Oh, come on, Remus!" Molly Weasley had entered the room. I felt Tonks wince. "How long are you going to wait on this? Just ask her already!" Her hands went to her hips.

Tonks turned to look at me. "What's she on about?" I could tell that she knew exactly what had been implied, though, and that she was trying not to burst out laughing.

"Oh, come on, Remus. You're running out of time for this."

"Molly! I told you. Whether or not we marry is entirely up to us, not you. And I doubt Tonks would want to be tied down when she's so young."

"Nonsense! I think we'll just have to set a wedding date for you and let you two get used to the idea."

I rolled my eyes, forced Tonks off my lap, and went down on one knee, to the amazement of the room at large. I bowed my head to hide a grin, took her hand, and began, "Tonks, will you..." to dead silence.

"...make me a sandwich?" My head lifted, and I smirked at Molly's hiss of indignation as Tonks grinned and pulled me back up onto the couch, where she proceeded to use me as furniture again. Harry and Ginny had stopped dancing momentarily to watch us, but they resumed as Molly drew herself up to her full height.

"Honestly, Remus. You're being a bit of an idiot about all of this. We'll just have to marry you two along with Bill."

"Married? Who else is getting married?" Sirius had appeared at the door. I had the sudden urge to either drag him bodily from the room, or else gag Molly. Before I could do either of those things, however, she began to speak. Instinctively I buried my face in my hands.

"Remus, of course!" Molly beamed. "And Nymphadora will make such a lovely bride, don't you think?"

Three things happened at once, in rapid succession. Whatever Sirius was holding tumbled to the ground and shattered as he turned on his heel, his expression part-anger, and part sorrow. I leapt to my feet, spilling Tonks onto the floor, ignoring her yelp of protest. I darted after him, every fiber of my being suddenly wanting to hex Molly into the next county. Ginny and Harry sprinted across the room, though mostly Ginny, and helped a bruised-looking Tonks up.

Girlfriend utterly forgotten, I chased Sirius all the way up to the attic, where a door was slammed in my face. Panting for breath, I leaned into the door, calling. "Sirius! Padfoot! Let me in!"

"Go to hell, Moony." There was the creaking sound of shutters being thrown open, and then I heard him begin to pace. The feeling that had overtaken me in the garden, before I had lost consciousness, was suddenly replaced by irritation.

"For God's sakes, Sirius! You could give me a chance to explain!" I sighed, eyes rolling. Dead and resurrected or not, he was still capable of being a stubborn imbecile. Distantly, from several floors below, I heard the murmur of conversation. "You can't act like a lunatic, Sirius."

He snorted. "Says the man who threw cocoa at me. You know, a simple 'It's good to see you' would have been fine." I heard him laugh. "Though, of course, the third degree burns were quite touching."

"Padfoot. Listen to me."

"Only if this conversation doesn't involve you dousing me in more boiling water."

"I was in a state of shock, you dimwit! Don't tell me you wouldn't have done the same."

"Well, I'm not the one engaged to my best friend's cousin, now am I?"

"I am not engaged to her. Molly seems to require a few good hexes before she comes to terms with that fact."

"You aren't?" There was surprise in his voice. The next thing I knew, the door had swung open, and he'd pulled me into the room, one hand on the doorframe. "You could have told me that straight out!"

I shook my head. Unbelievable. "What do you think I've been trying to do?" He was suddenly as close as he'd been before, eyes fixed on me like I was going to disappear.

His hand went to the side of my face again, leaning in, eyelids closing as our lips met - and someone broke into a fit of coughing behind us. We sprang apart.

It was Tonks, grinning from ear to ear. "You gentlemen probably shouldn't be doing that in front of an open door." She tossed a key at me. "It does lock, you know."

Sirius looked at me, bewildered. "What the hell...?"

Tonks cut in with, "Remus, dear, be a good little boyfriend and don't go kissing other boys in broad daylight, would you?" She smirked. "I came up after you to stop them wondering, but I've still got to clean up Ginny."

"What happened to Ginny?" I took a step forward.

"Cut her foot on broken glass, courtesy of you lovely friend Sirius." She rolled her eyes and then swore as she heard footsteps on the stairs. She pulled me away from Sirius and put her arms around my neck. Just as Molly came into view, she kissed me, causing the woman to stumble and mutter apologies.

When my eyes opened again, Molly was blushing furiously, and Sirius was striding coolly past us, his manner frosty. I moved to go after him again, but Tonks held me fast, resuming appearances by kissing me until they were both gone. A moment of silence passed, marred only by Molly's furious coughing as she went down, as if to block out some other sound.

"Tonks!" I hissed, when she'd let me go. "What are you doing? Now he'll think - "

"Calm down, Remus. We can't do anything about it right now. We have to go back downstairs before they start thinking our little rendezvous involves bedsheets."

I shuddered and she took my arm, descending the stairs. I saw the door to a room slam as we passed. The obscene gesture Tonks made at the keyhole managed to cheer me, but only just. "Idiot!" she called.

I turned to face her. "Tonks? Why can't life ever be straightforward?"

"Because the first half of that word is 'straight'." She shook her head. Vaguely, I heard a door open again. She nodded upwards and batted her eyes at me, laughing, and we reentered the living room, ready to begin the charade again.