Regarding the Uses of Flobberworm Juice

Regarding The Uses of Flobberworm Juice

Percy sighed. He heard the snickers coming from the cubicle next door.

"Cauldron bottoms, can't keep 'em regulated," the other worker sneered.

"Never know what might happen. I personally like my cauldron bottoms thick, if you know what I mean," another worker said. More snickers and even a snort came over the short cubicle wall.

Percy sighed again. "They just don't understand the importance of regulations," he thought. "If cauldron bottoms aren't regulated then there could be serious leaks while crafting a potion. Perhaps, even an explosion that could harm someone! People would begin to lose faith in the Ministry and its ability to keep them safe while promoting commerce. The Wizarding world could collapse in an economic downspin. And then, what would we have? Chaos."

Percy turned to his latest assignment: the economic development of Flobberworms. Percy shuddered. He remembered having to shove lettuce down the throats of flobberworms during his fourth year at Hogwarts. It was a standard part of the curriculum, that all students learn how to properly care and tend flobberworms. What wasn't commonly known was that the Wizarding world depended on the economic stability of flobberworm juice.

"Can you believe it? Now he's on about flobberworms. Can't stand the smarmy things," floated above the cubicle.

If only Mr. Crouch was here and well. He would understand the importance of these matters. It was Mr. Crouch that gave him this assignment just before, well, before everything at the Ministry went wrong. Mr. Crouch impressed on Percy the importance of flobberworm economics for the Wizarding world.

"Now Weatherby, listen carefully," he had said. "Without flobberworms, we are goners. Most wizard-folk don't see how flobberworm juice is integral to everything they buy. The only ones who appreciate flobberworms are the farmers and we economists."

Percy remembered this conversation well. It was one of the few times that Mr. Crouch included him in his world of "economists." It was one of his proudest moments. "Well, I won't let you down Mr. Crouch," Percy thought. Percy always believed that Mr. Crouch looked at him as the son he wished he had. And seeing how things turned out, Percy was sure he was right.

Percy sat in his cubicle, deep in thought. The current problem with flobberworms was that there were just too many of them! The past few years there had been a boom in flobberworm reproduction. Wizarding economics responds to the law of supply and demand. Now that there were too many flobberworms, the price farmers received for their juice was not enough to continue production. This could spiral into complete economic disaster.

"Think," said Percy to himself. "There has got to be a way to increase flobberworm juice usage among wizards." Percy reflected on the current uses: in the production of wands, Floo powder (What did his co-workers think, that Floo powder grew on trees?), the foam in Butterbeer, as a thickening agent in potions, and Spellotape. But what else? What could he come up with that would have "cross-over" appeal. In other words, something that could be sold to Muggles. "If I can somehow get Muggles to buy flobberworm juice, even Dad will have to see the value of what I do," Percy contemplated.

Percy sat at his cubicle long after the giggling co-workers left at 5:00. "Inspiration was gained by perspiration and perseverance," was Percy's favorite motto. However, as the clock ticked on, Percy's tummy began to grumble. "Mustn't worry Mum," Percy decided and he gathered up his papers to work on later at home.

He was about to apparate home, when he remembered his promise to Mum to pick up some pumpkin juice on his way. He was refreshed by the night air and decided that a brisk walk from the Ministry to the market might help to clear his head. On the way, Percy passed some Muggle bars and strip clubs. "Really," thought Percy. " I think that the Ministry of Magic should be located in a better part of town. It's unseemly for such important offices to be located here."

Percy stopped at the market, made his purchase, and then apparated home to the Burrow. He kissed his mum on the cheek, shook his dad's hand, and greeted his other brothers and Ginny. "Such a motley crew," he thought. Percy quietly ate dinner, ignoring the immature and ignorant taunting of Fred and George. "They'll see how important my job is someday, hopefully soon."

Later that night, Percy lay in bed thinking about flobberworms. There had to be something that both Wizards and Muggles needed. As Percy was drifting off to sleep and thinking fondly of a particular Hogwarts graduate, a revelation came to him. Of course, the answer had been right under this nose. "That's it!" he shouted. Percy quickly got out of bed and picked up his quill. He began to pen:

By Percy Weasley

Flobberworms are the core of the Wizarding economy. In order to decrease demand fluctuations of Flobberworm bi-products, we need to expand our development and marketing of products using these materials, and in particular, Flobberworm juice. Flobberworm juice is a renewable resource for Wizarding industry. Once harvested and treated, Flobberworm juice is currently used for a variety of uses. However, one important area of Wizarding and Muggle consumption has so far been ignored, this being personal hygiene products.

Flobberworm juice has well known industrial lubrication applications. Perhaps it could also be used for personal lubrication.

Percy chuckled at this and thought, "Maybe he and Penelope should conduct some trials of the new product he was proposing!" Percy continued writing with a large, silly grin on his face.

Flobberworm juice is already known to be able to take on a variety of flavors and colors (see uses for Butterbeer foam, potions thickening, etc.). Therefore, Flobberworm juice could be flavored and colored to be appealing in the personal hygiene market.

For a brief moment, Percy considered talking about this aspect of his plan with Fred and George. They do have a talent for flavorings and colorings. However, Percy's better judgment took over. "Heavens only knows what flavors or other tricks those boys would put into flobberworm juice!" he concluded.

Another focus market for Flobberworm juice lubricants would be young adults. This audience tends to be willing to try new products, especially if marketed using sexual themes and popular personalities. There could be a link made between Quidditch players, who already use Flobberworm juice to grease their brooms, and a more personal use. For instance, Victor Krum could do a spot promoting how he uses Flobberworm juice to keep his broom moving smoothly. While the camera is recording Mr. Krum stating this, we would be watching him stroking Flobberworm juice on his broom. Then, Mr. Krum could state that he uses Flobberworm juice for "other" purposes. This teaser would draw many young adults into experimenting with Flobberworm juice.

Percy put down his quill. He read over his proposal and grinned. "This was his best idea yet!" he decided. Percy got out his knife and scrapped a few words off of the title of his report. He remembered the scoffers back at work."This will get them to read my report," he concluded. Then, inking his quill, Percy retitled his report:

By Percival Weasley