- Rating:
- R
- House:
- The Dark Arts
- Characters:
- Harry Potter Severus Snape
- Genres:
- Drama General
- Era:
- Multiple Eras
- Spoilers:
- Philosopher's Stone Chamber of Secrets Prizoner of Azkaban Goblet of Fire
- Stats:
-
Published: 08/04/2002Updated: 08/30/2002Words: 9,138Chapters: 7Hits: 2,808
Lily of The Valley
Sandtr
- Story Summary:
- What happens when you find out your entire life has been a lie? Harry learns the truth about his parents....
Chapter 06
- Chapter Summary:
- To new beginnings....
- Posted:
- 08/30/2002
- Hits:
- 245
Chapter 6
A Beautiful Truth
"That night was the last time I saw her alive. And then the damn mission that kept me away for months. I heard later that I was presumed dead. I looked for Lily. I found out she had married James Potter. I wanted to go to her and ask her why she didn't wait for me. But she was in the hospital giving birth. To you. By the time I got there, you were in the little wizard nursery. I looked in the window at you, along with everyone else. I heard people talking 'He looks so much like James', they said. It was torture. I felt so betrayed. How soon after our night together had she ended up in Potter's bed? I was furious, and I left the hospital without speaking to her." Severus stopped and looked at his son, an unreadable expression on his face. Pity?
Severus took a deep, shaking breath and continued. "And then, the night she died..... I knew Voldemort wanted the Potter family dead. I was the one that tipped Dumbledore about it. As angry as I was for what she had done, I still loved her so much, and couldn't let her be hurt. I...." What was that? A tear? "I died with her that night.....She was my world.. my reason for living..... I should have done something! I should have saved her! It was my fault she died. I loved her and it was my fault!" Severus put his face in his hands.
Harry looked at his father, unsure of what to do. This was his father. Who had loved his mother. After Severus told Harry all his memories, Harry looked at him in a new light. He reached out to Severus and touched his arm. "It wasn't your fault." He whispered. Severus jerked his head up in surprise. "You did what you could. There's no way you could have known that Peter would betray them."
Severus stood up suddenly. He couldn't look into those eyes. Lily's eyes. "Harry. I'm so sorry for the way I've treated you. I was so angry. With Lily, and with James. He knew I loved her. You looking like him has been like facing that betrayal every day for the last 4 years, and it's been unbearable." Severus stood looking at the fire. "I loved her with all my being, and she went and married him. She was the only one that ever cared about me. And when I lost her....." Harry got up and walked over to his father and put a hand on his shoulder. Severus tensed in surprised and then relaxed. He turned around and looked at Harry. So much like his mother. He cared about other people.
"It's going to be o.k." Harry said. "We'll get through this."
Severus looked at his son. He still couldn't believe he had a son. "I don't know how to be a father."
"I don't know how to be a son. But I guess all we can do is try." Harry replied.
"Your mother would be so proud of you. You are so much like her." Severus said.
"Thank you. That means alot to me."
It occured to Severus just then that he would always now have a part of Lily with him, in their son, and the feeling so overwhelmed him, that he reached out and pulled his son into his arms and hugged him. The feeling was both strange and wonderful for both of them. Severus hadn't held anyone in his arms since Lily nearly 16 years ago, when Harry was conceived, and Harry had never been held like this before in his life. Suddenly it didn't matter that they had always been enemies. They were father and son now. A family neither had ever had. It felt good. It felt right. Harry reached his arms around his father and returned the hug. It was comforting, and natural. Father......
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Severus walked into the bedroom and looked at Harry sleeping on the bed. It was considered his "extra" room, but would now be known as his son's room. It still felt so strange to think that phrase. His son. They had talked long into the night, getting to know each other. It surprised Severus to learn just how selfless his son was, how much he hated being a celebrity. Indeed he was very much like Lily. Why did I never notice that before? He sat down in a chair beside the bed and stared at Harry in awe. His son. His flesh and blood. And then he thought of time after time that he had tormented the poor boy and he felt sick with guilt. I didn't know. Lily, why didn't you ever tell me? I should have treated him better BECAUSE he was Lily's. But I was so angry with her too. And he smirked, had to keep up appearances in front of everyone so that it didn't get back to the Voldemort that I was easy on The Boy Who Lived. The thought came to him that he would have to continue being hateful to his son when school began in order to stay in Voldemort's good graces. Severus frowned. Voldemort had taken so much from him. He lost Lily. He lost 15 years with his son. And now, he would still have to put on a show of hatefulness towards Harry. And Harry..... it was his son's destiny to destroy Voldemort. What if Harry died doing that? Severus didn't know if he could handle losing his son, now that he knew he had one.
Lily...I will do whatever I have to do to make sure that doesn't happen. I will die before I see our son hurt again. Again. Severus turned his thoughts towards the Dursleys and anger welled up once again. How dare they lay a finger on his son. It hurt Severus to think of all the years Harry suffered. Confined in the small room under the stairs. Emotionally and physically abused. All the times Severus thought his home life was so grand, and tormented Harry about it. There's that guilty feeling again. Couldn't you just have treated him like a human being instead of being so hard on him? Severus sighed. He watched his son sleeping. Watched his breath.... in....out... in... out...... Do all parents stare at their children like this? He realized how much he had missed out on. Harry's first smile. His first word. His first steps. He doubted the Dursleys had any kind of baby book or photo album of his son growing up. Severus thought of them again with disgust. Lily rarely talked about her sister Petunia. Lily was the favored child in the family, probably because she was so personable. And Petunia hated her. She was extremely jealous of Lily's beauty, and all the attention Lily got from most everyone. It wasn't that Lily asked for it. It just happened naturally. And when it came to Lily being a witch.... well, it was just another reason for Petunia to hate her. She was a freak, according to the older sister.
"Why did Dumbledore send him there?" Severus wondered aloud.
"Because I thought they were his only family." Severus jumped and looked towards the door of the room. "I'm sorry Severus. I didn't meant to startle you. I knocked, but there was no answer and it concerned me." Severus got up from his chair and walked over to his mentor.
"No problem Albus. We had just been talking and it got late, so I just asked him to stay here."
Albus raised his eyebrows. "So you were able to work everything out?"
"Well, it's going to take some time to get used to." Severus told him as they walked into the living room. "Neither one of us really knows what to do or how to act. Tea?"
"Mmmm." Albus said, nodding. "Well, it will come with time. Time and patience. How are you doing though Severus?"
Severus hesitated. "I'm nervous. And.... though I'm loathe to admit it, a bit scared. I wish I'd known long ago that Lily and I had a child together. All the bitterness that I've had inside me when it comes to Harry, was for nothing. According to the letter Lily sent Remus, Harry will begin changing soon, and I won't have to look at Potter's face any more. He's my son Albus, my son. I feel so guilty for treating him the way I did. And knowing the kind of challenges we'll have once the term starts doesn't make it any easier." Albus sat quietly listening, nodding his head as Severus spoke. "Why didn't she tell me Albus? I could have spared him so many years of sorrow. I thought I had lost everything the night she died. If she had only told me..... things could have been so different...."
"You can't change the past, child. But now you and Harry have a future. You have a chance now to be the father you never knew you were. Harry needs a father. And whether you want to admit it or not, Severus, you need someone too."
"I don't know how to be a father. I never had one that decent enough to set an example. You know what my childhood was like."
"Give yourself some credit Severus. You've already acted on instinct several times, just since going to the Dursley's." Severus gave a look that said he didn't truly believe that, but that he'd take Albus' word for it. Thinking about the Dursley's just made Severus angry all over again.
"I want retribution Albus. How dare they put their hands on my son." he said menacingly. Albus raised an eyebrow.
"Severus, you know that nothing can be done. Harry will never have to see them again. I'm sure he'll want to spend all his holidays with you from now on."
It was Severus' turn to raise an eybrow. "Albus, we had a long talk, but I hardly think the boy is ready to move in with me."
"Somehow I have the feeling that the two of you will work it out." Abus lifted his glass of tea to Severus. "Here's to new beginnings...."
"To new beginnings."