Lily of The Valley

Chapter 7

Reflections and reactions

The next day, Harry woke up dazed. So much information in such a short amount of time. He laid in the bed staring at the ceiling, trying to soak it all in. He wasn't an orphan anymore. He had a father. Harry thought of Severus Snape, and thought of how he'd come to fear the man, and dread his class. Snape had never been kind to him, from his first day at Hogwarts. Of course, now he completely understood why the man had hated him so. Because of James Potter. Of course he blamed James for taking Lily away from him, and, well everyone [I]thought, having a child with her. It was an odd sensation. He had unknowingly lived 15 years as a lie. Living as Harry Potter, while the truth was, he was Harry Snape. It sounded funny in his head, so he tried it out loud.

"Harry Snape." He shook his head. No, it sounded funny out loud too. How about "Harry Evans." No. That didn't sound right either. Harry sighed. "Harry Potter" It was normal. Familiar. And downright annoying to carry the name of the man that wasn't his father. Suddenly, Harry was angry with James. If he had never married my mother, none of this would have happened. Severus would have gone back to her and she wouldn't have died that night. He would have married her and we would have been a family. The thought came so suddenly, Harry bolted up in bed. It didn't matter what his intentions were. The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. Harry was angry. Really angry. He could have had a family. Parents who cared about what happened to their child. Loving, nuturing parents. He would never have been the bloody Boy-Who-Lived, with all his unwanted fame. Harry jumped out of bed and walked into the bathroom. He looked at himself long and hard in the mirror. He wanted to smash the reflection. Just like James Potter. That's how he looked. And for the first time in his life, he was revolted by that.

"Don't be so hard on yourself deary," the reflection told him. UGH, I hate bloody talking mirrors. What the hell do YOU know? And that's when he did it. He looked on the vanity for something hard. A candlestick holder. That would work. He picked it up, and with all his might- SMASH. The mirror shattered into pieces, broken bits tinkling as they fell to the vanity.

Severus ran in shouting Harry's name, but he didn't really hear it. His father grabbed him by the shoulder's... "Are you alright?" Harry nodded, still shocked by his own anger. "What happened?"

Harry focused on the concerned face in front of him. "I... I... I'm s..s..s....sorry. I...." Harry shook his head, trying to think straight. He didn't think that he had ever been that angry. Severus steered Harry out of the bathroom and back to the bed, and asked him....

"Are you cut any where?" Harry numbly shook his head. "Harry, what happened?"

Harry looked at his father. "I'm sorry. I was angry, and I guess I just... lost it. I'm sorry."

"What were you so angry about?"

"The reflection." Harry told him, not wanting to go into detail. Severus looked at him, eyebrows raised in surprise, waiting for more. Harry sighed. "I look like him." This confused Severus.

"I was not aware that you had a problem looking like James Potter."

Harry sighed again. "I didn't, until I realized that if it hadn't been for him, my mother would still be alive and I would have had a real family."

Now is was Severus' turn to sigh. Borrowing a quote from Dumbledore, he said to Harry, "We can't change the past, Harry."

Harry shook his head. "I want this lie gone. I want to be me. The real me."

Severus looked at him and the corners of his mouth curled into a tiny smile, "It will happen soon enough. According to Lily's letter, you'll start seeing changes after your birthday."

Harry shook his head again, "That's not soon enough. I've lived this lie long enough."

"Well, no one can take off the spell except your mother, Harry, so I'm afraid we will just have to wait." He paused, waiting for a reaction. When none came, he said, "Why don't you come in and have lunch? You slept right through breakfast. After lunch, you can get cleaned up and changed and we'll go to Hogsmeade and do a little shopping. Sound o.k.?" Harry nodded and the two started their first day together as father and son.

Somewhere during the day, Harry got around to writing to his best friends, Ron Weasley, and Hermione Granger....

Dear Ron and Hermione,

This is definately the oddest summer I've ever had. I found out yesterday some things about my parents that will make your hair stand on end. It has to be between us, cause no one can know just yet. Of course I know ya'll will keep my secret. Are you sitting down? OK, here goes. James Potter is not my father, and I look like him because of a spell called Glamourie (Hermione, I know you will look it up for us). Before I tell you who my father is, I also want to add that I am staying at Hogwarts for the rest of the summer because Professor Snape came and took me away from my muggle family. They were, let's just say, more then the usual unkind. It all came about because Professor, er, Mr. Lupin came to Dumbledore with a letter that my Mum had written to him about my father. Apparently this spell is going to start wearing off on my birthday and she wanted me to know the truth if anything ever happened to her. Are you still sitting down? Professor Snape is my father. At first I didn't believe it. I was really angry. But you guys would not believe the difference in personality that all this has caused him. He's not only NICE to me, he's....well, it's hard to describe.... he's being...... I don't know..... fatherly. Like he really cares about me. When he talks about my mother, I can tell that he really loved her. I don't know how Snuffles is going to react when he hears the news. Anyhow, Professor Snape (it just feels to weird still to call him anything else) said that if the 2 of you wanted to come for my birthday that he would "allow it." He's still Professor Snape, but he acts much different with me now. I hope you can both come. I think it's going to be one of those "have to see it to believe it" things for you. See you soon! (I hope)

Your friend, Harry

P.S. I'm sending this to Ron first. Please pass it on to Hermione. Oh and Ron, since I am at Hogwarts, you can send Hedwig back with your next letter. Thanks for taking care of her for me!

Harry ran up to the owlery- with was a long run from the very bottom dungeons. Arriving out of breath, he went to the nearest owl, and tied the message to her foot. "Please take this to Ron Weasley" he said to her. She hooted, and took off into the sky.

It didn't take long to get his first reply...

Dear Harry,

How can that greasy git be you father? That's the craziest thing I've ever heard of! Are you sure someone hasn't slipped you a potion or something? Of course I won't tell anyone, but I did tell Mum about you being at Hogwarts, and she said she felt much better about you being there then with the muggles. She said it's o.k. for be to come by floo on your birthday, and if it's o.k. with Professor Dumbledore, I can stay on a few days and keep you company. It must be great having the entire castle nearly to yourself! Well, see you in a few weeks!

Your friend, Ron

Harry laughed, reading his friend's letter a second time.

"Something funny?"

Harry jumped, startled by his father's voice. "Oh. I didn't see you come in. No, I was just laughing at Ron's letter. He's a bit, uh... amazed at the recent turn of events."

Severus raised an eyebrow and smiled at his son, but didn't say anything. He was still confused by the new feelings he was having every time he looked at his son. Just knowing that this boy was his flash and blood was amazing enough, but Severus also found himself feeling more then satisfied that Harry was not the son of James Potter. It meant almost as much to him as the fact that Harry was his. Almost.

Harry noticed the smug look on Severus' face and broke the silence, "What are you thinking about?"

Severus smiled at Harry, an expression that just a few days ago seemed so foreign to both of them for Severus to do. "Oh, just thinking about the changes since term ended." Harry smiled back and nodded his head in understanding. He was just about to say something when there was aknock on the door. Severus walked over to answer it, and found Professor Dumbledore on the other side. On his shoulder was perched a large white, snowy owl, that flew over to Harry.

"Hi Hedwig" Harry said as he nuzzled his beloved owl. "Yes, I missed you too." Hedwig hooted an agreement and stuck out her foot, letting Harry take the letter off. "Thank you Professor, for bringing her down." Harry said to Professor Dumbledore, as he went into his room to read his new letter, leaving his father and the headmaster talking.

Dear Harry,

I must admit that I was a bit shocked when I read your letter. I do hope that he's treating you decent Harry, and that neither of you have lost your tempers with each other. Remember that forming a relationship with someone takes time and patience. Think of all the advantages though Harry. You have a full time potions tutor around all the time, and since you get to spend all your holidays at Hogwarts now, you will undoubtedly have unlimited access to the restricted section of the library. Harry rolled his eyes here. Mum and Dad have given me permission to come and visit you on you birthday. I hope that you can survive with Professor Snape until then. If you need me for anything, just send me an owl. I'll be happy to let you vent if you need to. See you in a few weeks.

Your friend,

Hermione

Harry smiled to himself. She had a point. His grades in potions would probabbly go up now. Not that they were that bad now, but still. Having the potions master for a father did have it's advantages.

"Harry! Harry, come on. It's time for dinner." Severus called to him. Harry put the letter down on his bed and ran out to walk with his father up to the great hall. Maybe it wasn't going to be such a bad summer after all.