Lily of The Valley

Chapter 5

Coming to Terms with An Ugly Truth

Harry was dreaming. It had to be a dream. Kill the spare. Cedric. It was his fault. Kill the spare. He sat up, screaming.

"Harry! Harry, calm down." that voice... "Harry, it's o.k. You are here at Hogwarts." Harry looked around as the familiar features of Albus Dumbledore came somewhat into focus. Someone handed him his glasses, and when he put them on, he saw that it was Remus Lupin. Harry tried to shake the confusion away.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Remus, I'm going to let you answer that. I have to go get... someone. I'll be back momentarily." Remus nodded and looked at Harry. He told Harry that he had come to visit Dumbledore and they started talking about him and came to the conclusion that it would be best if someone went to check on him. So Professor Snape was sent and when he found Harry, he brought him back to be cared for here. He left out.... the big stuff.

The door to the hospital wing opened and Professor Dumbledore walked in, followed by Snape, who had a peculiar look on his face, Harry thought. Concern? Surely not. Not for Harry. It was a widely known fact that Snape hated Harry.

"Remus, can I see you outside?" Dumbledore asked and then looked at Snape, "We'll leave you two alone."

Harry looked at Snape. Was he nervous? Harry looked down at his hands. Severus sat down in a chair beside the bed. They sat that way for quite some time until Harry finally broke the silence.

"Thank you...... for saving me." He said meekly. He was so confused, he couldn't think straight. What was this all about?

"Uh... sure." Snape said. That was it? Harry thought. No snide, sarcastic remarks? Suddenly Harry had a very bad feeling.

"Is there something you wanted to talk to me about Professor?" Harry asked, almost scared of the answer.

"Yes, Harry. There is." Oh God, how can I say this? "Well, you see...uh..." Why can't I do this? Lily's son. MY son.

Harry was completely confused and scared now. If Snape couldn't say it, it had to be really, really bad. Because he'd shown that in the last 4 years, he really didn't care about hurting Harry's feelings or pride.

"Professor?" Snape looked up at him. "Did I do something wrong?"

"NO!" Snape shouted, causing Harry to jump. "No." he said again, softer this time. "It's just that. Well. Mr. Lupin received a letter today, and it concerns you, and I, um... Well,I think you should read it." There. phew. I'm such a coward. I can't say the words. He can read it for himself. It's much easier then me actually saying it. He hates me. What's he going to think now? He handed Harry the letter and watched the expressions change from surprise, shock, and finally anger as he read it. And then, to his surprise, Harry crumpled the letter and got up out of bed to face his potions professor.

"This is unbelievable." He spat at Snape. "Is this your idea of a sick joke? Thought you'd have some fun with me, huh? How dare you. HOW DARE YOU! My mother and father loved each other! You think it's great to kick me when I'm down? This is... this is...... it's just....." Harry couldn't come up with the right words. He was so angry. He threw the crumpled letter in Snape's face and stomped out of the hospital room. Severus just stood there looking at him in astonishment, an overwhelming feeling of pain rising in his chest, where just before had been a feeling of hope for a reconciliation with his son. His hope had just been shattered by the hateful look and words coming from his own son.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry didn't know where he was going. He didn't really care. Just as long as it was away from that man. He was fuming. He couldn't believe what had just happened. I'm living in someone else's nightmare. This is not real. It can't be real. Harry was thinking over and over. It's not real. His mother and Snape? No. No. This was a sick, twisted, cruel joke. What Harry couldn't figure out was why. Does he hate me THAT much? Surely not. He saved my life. Walking against the pain he felt in his torso, Harry kept going. He walked around the castle until he could no longer stand the pain, and then he leaned against a wall, and slid down it, pulling his knees to his chest. He tried to reason with himself.

Snape hates me. He always has. He's done nothing but make my life miserable from the moment I stepped off the train. Why? Why does he hate me so much? Because of James. Because I look just like James. JUST LIKE James. A spell. Why? Why would she want everyone to think I was James' if she loved Snape. That just doesn't even sound logical. My mother loved Snape. He's vicious and cruel. How could my mother love him? Maybe he wasn't always cruel. Hello??? This is SNAPE we're talking about- he's always been cruel. But he saved my life. Why? Because he cares. Harry snorted at this idea. No he doesn't. He hates me. And he's NOT my father. This isn't real.

"This is a nightmare." He said out loud to no one.

"Harry?"

Oh great. This is all I need. Professor Dumbledore telling me to give Snape a chance. Wait. He went to get Snape. He left me alone with Snape. He knows.

"Professor? It's true isn't it?" Harry looked at the old man. His eyes showed compassion, and caring.

"Yes, Harry. It's true. I think you and Severus need to have a talk. He's quite upset about the way you left the hospital wing. Let's get you down to his rooms." Dumbledore put an arm around Harry's shoulders and lead him down to Snape's rooms. Harry was in shock. Of all people to have as your father, how about one that hates your guts and makes you life miserable every chance he gets. "Harry, perhaps you should hear him out. Sometimes, the way we treat others is a mask we have to wear for one reason or another, and does not reflect our true selves underneath." This was not the first occasion that Harry thought his headmaster was reading his mind.

The door was open to Snape's area. Severus knew they would be coming. Harry was numb. He didn't see anything around him. Dumbledore led him to a couch and sat him down, and then slipped quietly back out the door, closing it behind him.

Severus pulled his chair over to sit right in front of Harry so they could look each other face to face. He took a deep breath. "I loved your mother, you know." Harry's gaze focused on Snape. He could tell it was a true statement. "Can I tell you what happened?" Harry nodded his head.