Amid My Solitude

Shape, the strong and awful spirit,
Laid his ancient hand on you.
He waste chaos doth inherit;
He can alter and subdue.
-- Anna Hempstead Branch

Somewhere in the world, bacon was frying.

Remus opened his eyes and sniffed. Eggs, too. Someone was frying bacon and eggs. Bacon and eggs were being brought from potentia into existence. Arteries across the country were clanging shut. Heart valves were shrieking in protest. Someone, nearby, was going to tempt him into an early death.

He pulled the blanket back and was halfway out of the bed before he realised Tonks was still in it, curled up against him in a nestlike ball of blanket, sheets, pillow, and a firm death grip on his pyjamas.

"Someone has food," she said, into the blankets.

"I know. I'm going to hunt them down, kill them, and steal it," he answered.

"I'll help."

"Come on," he said, pulling her out of the tangle of bedclothes. "If we don't get there soon, someone else may commit breakfastfood-induced homicide first."

When they stumbled into the kitchen, Tonks throwing a robe around her shoulders and Remus trying to comb his hair down to manageable size, Dumbledore and the twins were presiding over a massive frying pan, while Moody read the Daily Prophet at the breakfast table. Well, one of his eyes did. The other swiveled up to watch them as they entered.

"Please feed us!" Remus blurted, accepting a mug of tea from George. Or possibly Fred, it was far too early in the morning to discern who was who.

"How much?" Fred-or-perhaps-George asked, flipping an egg.

"Lots."

"Twice the lots he gets," Tonks added.

By the time they were settled at the kitchen table, Remus had woken up enough to be civil, and the twins were excitedly discussing a new shipment of something truly disgusting for use in one of their new Wizard Wheezes. He wondered if he actually had the guts to ask Dumbledore what he wanted to ask -- though it was easier in front of Tonks and Moody, and the twins.

When he finally did get up the courage to open his mouth, he found that he was a bit light-headed.

"You know," he said slowly, to Dumbledore, while he picked at the eggs on his plate, "I'm glad Arthur and Molly arrange those dinner things like we had last night. Brings us together." He ignored a stifled snort from Tonks. "Like family," he added severely.

"Aye, down to the feuds," Moody grunted.

"But I was thinking...you know, Harry really ought to have been there."

The twins fell silent, and even Tonks looked up from her bacon. Moody grinned widely.

"It's been four weeks, surely that's long enough," Remus pressed on desperately. "It's almost his birthday. I think we ought to bring him to Headquarters. He could get some tutoring, he'd have people his own age to be with..."

Dumbledore seemed to be mulling it over.

"It was just a thought," Remus mumbled. He was right, and he knew he was right, but he was also a student of Dumbledore's, once upon a time, and old habits died hard.

"Perhaps you're right," the older man said. "I see no reason for Harry to remain with his mother's family any more than absolutely necessary. Will you make the arrangements?"

"Of course," Remus said quickly, realising that the question was one Dumbledore had asked him quite a lot, recently. "I could go get him today, I've nothing planned. We don't really need a full-on rescue mission like last time, do we? I think a quiet, dignified exit should do us fine."

"Perhaps. Co-ordinate it with Arabella Figg, she'll know whether he's being watched by anyone. Other than us, of course," Dumbledore amended.

"And we could have a proper party for him, this year," Probably Fred added. "With a cake and all. Bet you he's never had one before."

"Perhaps," Dumbledore allowed. "At any rate, the sooner the better, for Harry's sake. Yes...four weeks is time enough," he mused. Remus, whose heart had been in his throat, now relaxed, and nearly dropped his fork.

"I'd like to see Harry again," Tonks said. "I'd come with you but I'm due in at work in -- blimey, forty minutes!"

She started up from the chair, knocking it over, then managed to flip her remaining bacon onto the tablecloth when she put her hand down on the plate for balance. "Tell him hi for me!" she called over her shoulder, as she vanished into the hallway. Quite-Likely-George slid the rest of her meal onto his own plate.

"We could come too," he said. "There's loads of new tricks we could test out on that slug of a cousin of his -- "

"No Muggle-baiting," Moody said sternly. The twins looked ashamed.

"Even the awful ones," Remus added. "How can you possibly represent the Order and still consider playing tricks on the boy?"

"He really is a git," one of them muttered.

"I'd be tempted myself," Dumbledore said. "But rest assured, I understand Dudley Dursley generally gets what's coming to him, sooner or later."

"Just wish it was us giving it to him. Gift-wrapped," one of the boys grinned. Remus hid his own smile, and finished his egg in good humour.

***

There was no notice this time, not like there always had been before; no polite queries by Muggle post, no notes by owl, nothing to indicate that the wizarding world had even heard of Harry Potter -- and that was the way the Dursleys liked it. Dudley studiously avoided Harry, and Harry knew better than to pick fights this time round; Petunia and Vernon simply ignored him.

But Harry was marking the days, and more importantly simply marking time, until someone came for him; every day, he sat in the window of his room or in the hedges along the side of the house, or behind the drapes in the living room, and watched, and waited. And that was why he got there first, when the knock came.

"Professor Lupin!" he blurted, as he threw open the door.

Remus stood on the doorstep, a small half-smile on his tired face. He was trying his best to look perfectly at ease, as if it was normal for him to appear in Privet Drive in the middle of a July evening, without warning.

"I think you might call me Remus, Harry, at this point," he said briskly. "Sorry to barge in."

"What's gone wrong?" Harry demanded. Remus gave him a gentle smile.

"Nothing, dear boy. Don't panic. Is your uncle at home?"

Harry was now thoroughly bewildered. "Um..."

"DON'T STAND THERE, BOY, SEE WHAT THEY WANT!" Uncle Vernon roared, from the other room. Harry turned pink.

"What a charming man," Remus sighed. Harry stood aside as Remus stepped through the doorway, into the living room where Uncle Vernon was reading the paper.

"YOU!" Vernon growled, tossing down his paper. "What do you want? How dare you come to our front door -- "

"Shut up, you horrible little man," Remus said calmly. Vernon sputtered. "Harry, run upstairs and pack, if you would? You're usually quite efficient, I doubt it will take long."

Harry, staring, took off like a shot. Remus heard the click of latches; from the sound of it, Harry had hardly bothered unpacking in the first place. Hedwig's angry hooting echoed down the stairs.

"Just what do you think you're doing here?" Uncle Vernon demanded.

"Fetching Harry," Remus replied. "It's time he came to stay with us."

"You?"

"The Wizar -- "

Vernon interrupted him sharply. "You think you can just barge in here without warning and -- "

"Yes. I rather think I do." Remus touched the wand sticking out of his pocket, and Vernon Dursley turned pale.

"You -- come here and threaten me -- "

"Oh, do be quiet," Remus said, tiredly. "I've come to get Harry. Be glad I'm taking him off your hands and go back to your sad little life, Dursley."

"I won't be spoken to like that!"

"Well, I suppose I could try another tack." Remus stepped up until he was nose to nose with the enormous man, as Harry descended the stairs, carrying Hedwig. "I am a close personal friend of Harry's godfather, and his current guardian. Therefore, you will release him to my custody or face police proceedings. How does that sound? I could call them right now. Police swarming over your nicely swept walkway, parking their cars in your drive..."

Ten minutes later, Harry and Remus were speeding away from Privet Drive in a rented car. Well, perhaps speeding was an inaccurate word; Remus understood the theory behind the stick shift, but was having trouble applying it in practical use.

"You were quick to pack," he said, as he tried to shift, and gears ground together.

"I've been waiting," Harry answered. "Keeping an eye out, sort of thing."

Remus nodded his head, eyes on the road. It was a sad thing, that the Boy Who Lived, beloved of the entire Wizarding world, had spent four weeks waiting for someone to come and rescue him from his family.

"I hope it hasn't been too hard on you," he said. Harry's careless adolescent shrug told him all he needed to know. "You'll be staying at Headquarters, mostly, I think -- the twins are living there now, and I'll be around quite a bit, and I'm sure Ron and Hermione will come to visit. Going to try to find someone to take up your Occlumency lessons again -- yes, I know, Harry, but you know how important they are. I'll do my best to make sure it isn't Snape, but brace yourself that it might be. If I can talk him into doing it again."

Silence for a while. Finally, Harry took a deep breath. "Is it true what you said to Uncle Vernon? About being my guardian?"

Remus nodded. "I hadn't thought about it up until a few days ago -- " a lie, not until this morning, " -- but Sirius left a provision in his will...very old, you understand, written long before he went into Azkaban...saying that if he were to die while in custody of you, I was to get a certain amount of his savings and your legal custody. It'd be hard to argue in open court, since the money went to the Order, and I'm a werewolf -- and you're not exactly an ordinary boy..." he saw Harry smile, slightly, "but for our purposes with your uncle, it's quite acceptable."

He frowned, and managed to shift gears almost flawlessly, concentrating hard.

"We used to have a joke about it," he said quietly. "Sirius used to say that if he and James and Lily all did die, I ought to keep a sharp eye out and make sure you weren't a youthful axe murderer." He paused. "Doesn't seem quite so funny anymore, really."

"But you're my godfather now?"

"You're a bit old to need much guidance that you couldn't get from the school, and I wouldn't be allowed to take you from the Dursleys permanently. But I do technically have responsibility for your welfare, access to your Gringotts account, things like that. If you're arrested I'm the one you're supposed to call to bail you out," he said, lips quirking upwards.

"Why did you come teach at Hogwarts, three years ago?" Harry asked suddenly. Remus frowned.

"I needed a job, and Dumbledore's very good at looking after his friends, when they need it. You don't think Snape spent much time after Voldemort's fall trying to find somewhere to work, do you?" he said, with a grin. "And I like teaching, I'm good at Dark Arts..."

"But it wasn't because Sirius had escaped?"

"No, I got the position before that, but I was glad, afterwards. And I did think...I did rather want to see you, to see who you were, Harry," he said. "The last time I'd seen you, you weren't even walking yet. It was rather a shock to find you a thirteen-year-old boy." The car sputtered again as he tried to shift, and he murmured, "Sod it," under his breath. "All right Harry, grip tightly, I'm sick of this thing. Mobili mobilis!" he said, tapping the dashboard with his wand. There was a sudden bang, rather like the Knight Bus made, and when a bit of smoke cleared, Harry saw through the window that they were trundling down an alley. "We'll return the car and Apparate back."

"I can't Apparate," Harry said, peering out the window as Remus pulled into the car park.

"About time you learned, then."

Remus returned the keys to the rental agency, and led Harry back out into the alley. "The key to Apparating," he said, "is concentration on where you're going and not where you are. I'm not going to have you Apparate on your own, I'm going to take you with me, so I need you to concentrate along with me or we'll both end up splinched. You need to think about the location of Headquarters, and when you've got that firmly in mind, think about the kitchen, all right? Standing in the kitchen facing the breakfast table."

Harry nodded, and Remus could see him concentrating.

"This is a bit...erm, personal," he added. "Stand still."

Harry was almost as tall as he was, now, and it was easiest to stand behind him and wrap one arm around his chest, the other around his waist. "Concentrate, Harry. And...now."

There was the familiar sense of brief nothingness, and a little confusion from Harry, but Remus was well-practiced at this. Soon he could see the kitchen, approaching, and they stumbled only a little when they appeared. He released Harry, catching his arm to keep him from colliding with the table.

"Brilliant!" Harry said, adjusting his glasses.

God, he looked like James.

"Remus?" a voice called, and Molly's familiar face leaned through the doorway. "Ah! Hallo Harry, welcome back. Come on, in here, they're announcing the verdict."

Remus felt his hand grip Harry's shoulder tightly. The boy had no idea what was going on.

"There's been a hearing into the possibility that Sirius is innocent," he murmured, as they walked into the living room. "I'll explain it later."

Harry nodded, and stepped inside, shy in front of the concerted gaze of a dozen people. There were quiet hellos, while Mundungus Fletcher, kneeling on the hearthstone, listened in by floo. Remus felt Tonks appear at his side, heard her say a soft encouragement. Harry had found Ron and Hermione, who must have come in by floo themselves. Finally, Fletcher leaned back; after a second, Arthur Weasley stepped through. His eyebrows raised when he saw Harry standing with the others.

"What's the news, Arthur?" someone asked.

Arthur smiled, tiredly. "Their decision is that Sirius Black was improperly imprisoned without trial, and that had this evidence come before an impartial jury, it is certain he would not have been convicted," he said. "They've also added a paragraph or two that sets a precedent for dealing with werewolf testimony under oath," he added, nodding at Remus.

Remus wasn't even aware his arm had gone around Tonks' waist until he realised he was holding her so hard he might bruise her. The others were cheering, and Harry looked heartbreakingly sad and confused. Remus just stood there, clinging to Tonks, staring at Arthur.

"What...what did it say?" he asked, almost plaintively, when the cheering had quieted. Everyone looked to Arthur.

"I don't know all the legal-speak," he said, rubbing the back of his head. "But I understand it states that werewolves are held to the same standards as humans while under oath. They're considered fully equal to humans in terms of how much their testimony means, and are punishable same as humans if they're found untrustworthy," he added, glancing at his twin sons, who were setting off small humming fireworks in the air.

"Full human rights?" Remus asked, not wanting to be mistaken. Arthur nodded. "But that means...that's huge, Arthur -- " he broke off suddenly. "That's what's going to get into the papers -- that's why they did it, isn't it? That's going to be the big story and Sirius Black being cleared is going to be an embarrassing footnote."

"What matters is he's cleared," Tonks reminded him.

"What matters is he's dead," Remus said, suddenly bitter. "Ruling's a bit expensive, if Sirius had to die for us to get it."

"Sometimes," said a low voice, and Remus saw Snape, standing between Molly and Kingsley, "A diversion still provides more value than a truth nobody will admit to."

"I'm tired," Remus said, running a hand over his face. "And I'm sorry. It's been a long day."

A murmur of "the Dursleys" went around the group.

"Harry, come on, I'll take you up to your room," he said, and Harry followed obediently, trailed by Ron and Hermione.

What he, Remus Lupin, wanted most of all right now was some sleep. Or possibly a strong drink.

No, what he really wanted was Padfoot alive again.

He'd have to settle for that drink, because he sure as hell wasn't going to get to sleep without one.

***