Harry Potter and the Lost Brother

HARRY POTTER AND THE LOST BROTHER

CHAPTER THREE

BROKEN MAN AND LOST BOY

"Hello, Harry! It's great to finally see you after so long," said Professor Lupin.

"Professor Lupin!" said Harry amazed at who and what he was seeing. "What are you doing here so early in the morning? I thought that surely only someone utterly mad would want to be here so early." He realized he was blabbing, so he quickly shut his mouth.

Meanwhile, Remus Lupin, Harry's former Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, cast a wary glance up and down the street and entered the house. The bright sunlight coming onto his face at first did not make seeing his face easy, but as he entered, Harry immediately noticed that he was looking a little worse for the wear. His prematurely lined face looked even more wrinkled, his eyes were dull though they were smiling at seeing Harry again, he was paler than usual and his brown hair seemed less brown and more gray.

"Are you all right, Professor?" Harry asked as he closed the door.

"Yes, Harry. I'm perfectly all right," came the reply. His voice had in it a strange sort of bitterness that Harry had never heard before. It was...hollow, as if he was just speaking it and not really meaning it. Harry gulped, a little uncomfortably.

"Do you want to come to the kitchen?" asked Harry. "No wait. You can't come to the kitchen. The Dursleys will probably have a heart attack. Why don't you go to my room and I'll be there in a minute. I'll get something to eat for us." He started toward the kitchen when he realized that Lupin didn't know which room was his. "Oh, just go upstairs. The messiest room is mine."

Lupin gave a light chuckle and started up the stairs saying, "All right Harry. Hurry up and get something just for yourself then."

"Right," Harry mumbled to himself and went into the kitchen. Uncle Vernon was staring venomously at Harry.

"What were you doing boy?" he half hissed and half spat at Harry. "Does it take this long to open the door?'

"I wouldn't shout right now if I were you," said Harry and started toward the pile of toast on the table.

"Well," said Uncle Vernon. "Who was it boy and what are you doing?"

"If you must know," said Harry starting towards the door. "It's my old Professor from school and a very good friend. And I am taking this-," he said indicating to the toast and butter in a plate in his hand and a cup of tea in the other, "-upstairs to my room to have some breakfast with him."

Instantly, all color drained from the Dursleys' faces, especially Uncle Vernon's. They all glanced at each other and then Uncle Vernon asked in a quiet and almost calm voice, "Why is he here?"

"Well how do you expect me to know if you are going to keep me here?" said Harry quickly losing his patience. It had been a long time since he had seen anyone from the wizarding world and he was getting anxious to meet Lupin anyway. "So can I go now?"

"Yes, yes. Go on hurry up. And make sure he does not stay longer than needed," said a very tight lipped and scared Aunt Petunia.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," muttered Harry as he went out of the kitchen and up the stairs. He wondered what Lupin must have been doing. He opened the door of his room and saw Lupin sitting on his chair turned towards his bed and munching on some toast he had conjured for himself.

"About time Harry," he said seeing Harry standing in the doorway. He chuckled again seeing the look on Harry's face. He was still standing in the door staring around at his room. His room was cleaner than it ever was since he had occupied it. All the mess to one side that was Dudley's old toys and other junk was all placed in order. Everything was sparkling clean, no dust or anything at all. All of his clothes were in his trunk (probably folded and organized as well); all his books, quills, parchment and inkbottles were neatly stacked next to his trunk; his bed was made and the Daily Prophets he had left spread all over the floor were placed neatly next to his bedside table.

"Wow!" he murmured to himself as he went and sat down on his bed putting his breakfast on his bedside table. "That's one task less."

"Sorry, Harry. Didn't quite catch that..." said Lupin.

"Oh nothing Professor. I had just thought of fixing my room today, but you just did it for me," he ended, grinning sheepishly.

"No problem," said Lupin. "Is that your breakfast?" he asked eyeing Harry's plate, while the boy nodded. "That's far too less for a boy your age, Harry, and growing. And you aren't even eating that."

"I don't feel like eating much anymore," Harry replied in a low voice, his eyes lowered.

"I understand that, Harry," said Lupin after a while in a slow and understanding voice. "But giving up your food won't do anything. Come on now, hurry up and eat it. We have a lot to talk about."

"What brings you here, Professor?" asked Harry, starting on his breakfast.

"Firstly, Harry, please stop calling me 'Professor'. It's been how many years...three years since I last taught you and you are still stuck to 'Professor'," he replied smiling slightly. "Try Remus. Or Moony, whichever you find easier," He added quietly.

"Yes uh... Remus. So, you still didn't answer my question," said Harry.

"Ah yes. Well mostly, I came because of your letter not to mention to talk about the current situation and to give you something related to school. And I thought you could do with a decent breakfast for once," he finished with a sparkle in his eyes.

Harry smiled at him in return. Yes, he could most definitely have done with a decent breakfast, in quantity and company. They ate in silence. When Harry finished his breakfast and came back from putting the dishes back in the kitchen where he earned an angry glare from Aunt Petunia (clearly asking Harry if they were his servants), they sat in his room, Harry on his bed and Lupin on Harry's desk chair clearly thinking how to start the conversation.

"Yes, Harry. So, first things first: your letter. Tell me, what did you see in this vision of yours? Frankly speaking we currently do not have much information as to what Voldemort is up to. Have you seen the papers, Harry?" Harry nodded. "Well then you must know about the attacks that took place yesterday and today. We were expecting something of this sort. It's just like the time when Voldemort was in power last time, only it was much, much worse then. The Daily Prophet used to be full of reports of attacks and skirmishes. Deaths and injuries, severe torture and much worse," he ended shaking his head sadly.

"So, back to business Harry, what did you see?" asked Lupin.

"Well, it wasn't very long, but it happened when I was down stairs last night before dinner, around quarter to eight or something," started Harry. "It was like, I'm going down this passageway, it was quite long and dark and its walls were made of stone but were broken at places and repaired with wood panels. And the only light was at the end of the passage coming from a room. When I reached right in front of it, I turned into the large room. And there in front of a huge fire, Voldemort was standing facing Bellatrix Lestrange, talking to her about something," he ended lamely.

"What were they talking about?" Lupin asked.

Harry thought for a moment, face screwed up in thought. He wasn't succeeding much in remembering what they were talking about and was about to say so when he suddenly remembered the parchment on which he had written the dream. He went to his desk, moved the few books still there and took out the parchment from underneath it all. He read from the text:

"'Talking about all the Death Eaters dead and in Azkaban and the Ministry recruiting more Aurors. Told Bellatrix that they needed to recruit more Death Eaters to compete the growing number of Aurors. Told Bellatrix to resort to any means necessary and to use the methods used previously. And after gathering enough forces, follow the plan to capture and kill me!'" he looked up from the parchment. "Yeah, that was all they were they were talking about. New Aurors and Death Eaters and yet another plan to kill me," he ended sarcastically.

"This is nothing to joke about Harry," said Lupin with uncharacteristic seriousness. "Yes, very well, Harry. Professor Dumbledore might come here to ask you about that dream himself."

"Professor Dumbledore? Here? Wow! I'd like to see the Dursleys' reaction!" Harry said mischievously.

"Indeed," said Lupin dully.

"So, why else were you here Prof er... Remus?" asked Harry, managing to correct his sentence at the last moment.

Lupin sat quiet for a moment with a serious look on his face, then. "As I said before Harry, I also came here to discuss the two recent attacks. But before that I'd like to give you something Professor Dumbledore asked me to give to you," replied Lupin with a twinkle in his eye and a slight smile on his lips. He put his hand into his shabby over-coat and pulled out an envelope with familiar looking writing in emerald green ink. Harry got up and went over to Lupin to get the envelope, before he could get up, wondering what it could be. Then it suddenly clicked! The O.W.L.s result! No wonder Lupin was looking so amused. In all his lethargy and depression, Harry had completely forgotten about his results.

He flopped down on to his bed with the envelope held in his hands in front of him like a death sentence. He looked over at Lupin who was grinning widely by now.

"Go on, Harry. Open it up," he said amusedly. "Ah, yes. I remember that feeling well. But anyhow, what has happened has happened and nothing can be done about it."

Harry looked back at the envelope, turned it around and broke its seal with shaking hands. Then he quickly took out the parchment inside and opened it to end the moments of fear and nervousness. He looked over the parchment and sighed.

"Let me see that, Harry," said Lupin, coming over to Harry holding out his hand. Harry held out the parchment and Lupin flopped down on the bed next to Harry, looking over the result sheet.

O.W.L.s RESULT

HARRY JAMES POTTER

Dear Mr. Potter,

Following is the result of the O.W.L.s exams that you attempted in June this year:

Charms written exam: O

Charms practical exam: E

Transfiguration written exam: E

Transfiguration practical exam: E

Herbology written exam: E

Herbology practical exam: O

Defense Against the Dark Arts written exam: O

Defense Against the Dark Arts practical exam: O* ('O' star)

Potions written exam: A

Potions practical exam: O

Care of Magical Creatures written exam: A

Care of Magical Creatures practical exam: E

Astronomy written exam: E

Astronomy practical exam: A

Divination practical exam: P

History of Magic written exam: D

OVERALL GRADES:

Defense Against the Darks Arts: Double Outstanding O.W.L.

Transfiguration: Outstanding O.W.L.

Charms: Outstanding O.W.L.

Potions: Exceeds Expectations O.W.L.

Herbology: Outstanding O.W.L.

History of Magic: Dreadful O.W.L.

Care of Magical Creatures: Exceeds Expectations O.W.L.

Divination: Poor O.W.L.

TOTAL NUMBER OF O.W.L.s ACHIEVED: 12 O.W.L.s

MAXIMUM NUMBER OF O.W.L.s ACHIEVED: 18 O.W.L.s

{That can be achieved}

Congratulations on your result Mr. Potter. You have been promoted to the Sixth Year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry and can now select subjects for studying in N.E.W.T. level from the following: Defense Against the Dark Arts, Transfiguration, Charms, Herbology, Care of Magical Creatures and Potions. You shall not be able to attend classes for other subjects since either you did not take the O.W.L. in that subject or your grade is below the required standard set by that particular teacher. You have been allowed to choose Potions (even though the current Potions Professor does not accept students below grade 'O') due to your exceptional grade in Defense Against the Dark Arts and on the special request of Headmaster Dumbledore.

Enjoy your holidays!

Yours sincerely,

Griselda Marchbanks

Wizarding Examinations Authority

"Well done, Harry!" exclaimed Lupin. You managed to get an O* in Defense Against the Dark Arts. No one has been able to do that for years!"

Surprised, Harry looked up at Lupin. "Really?" he asked.

"Well, unless you count more than 20 years ago, two exceptionally bright students got O*s in Defense Against the Dark Arts," he said, lost in thought and grinning.

"Who were those?" he asked, even though he had a feeling he knew who they were.

"Who else but your dad and Sirius, Harry!" said Lupin, a little surprised. "I thought you would've guessed as much!"

"I thought so, but how could I be sure?" replied Harry, looking down at his result sheet again. "So tell me, how many O.W.L.s did my dad get?"

"James? What does it say is the maximum number of O.W.L.s that can be achieved?" said Lupin.

"Eighteen"

"Yes, well, James got 19 O.W.L.s. as he got an O* too, so did Sirius as a matter of fact," he said his smile fading slightly as he reached the end of the sentence. "He would've been able to tell you all about it...if he were still here."

A tight knot formed in Harry's stomach, something constricted in his chest and a huge lump formed in his throat. He tried to say something but the lump in his throat didn't leave much space for voice in there. After a minute, he was finally able to squeeze out in a little voice, "Tell me more about my dad."

"Oh I wouldn't be able to tell you a single thing about James without putting Sirius in there too," he replied, a tiny grin coming back to his lips.

"So tell me about both of them then," said Harry, his courage surprising even himself.

"Are you sure you want to know?" asked Lupin. Harry thought he heard a note of desperateness in his voice, so he made up his mind.

"Yes, I want to know...and I know you want to tell too," he replied.

Lupin glanced lightly toward Harry and sighed before continuing, "Where do I begin?"

Harry couldn't think of what to say so he kept his mouth shut, his curiosity mounting at every passing moment. Lupin made himself a bit more comfortable on Harry's bed and Harry moved a bit too. That's when he noted that his bed was a lot softer and comfortable than before. His throat eased and he sat facing Lupin, waiting for him to start, thinking "Good old Remus!"

"I'll try to summarize all the seven school years spent together in two or three hours Harry, that is if you're willing to listen," said Lupin, still looking a little lost in his thoughts.

"Of course I want to listen," said Harry immediately, surprised that Lupin could have even said such a thing.

"Very well then. We, all four of us," said Lupin. Harry noticed that his voice hardened a bit as he said this and there was a tinge of bitterness in it. Only then did Harry realize why Lupin was a bit hesitant to start: he would not only have to tell and Harry would not only have to listen to tales of his deceased father and godfather but also of Peter Pettigrew, the traitor. Because of whom Harry's parents were dead. Surely death was a lot better and honorable as compared to treachery. But Harry still wanted to know about them, so he let Lupin continue.

"We met on the school train in quite the same circumstances in which you met Ron. I -"

"How do you know how I met Ron?" cut in Harry.

"Oh, I asked him of course. Anyway, since James, Sirius and Peter were all Purebloods, they knew each other before they had to start at Hogwarts. Yes, yes I'm also pureblood," said Remus seeing Harry open his mouth. "But seeing as I was and still am a- a werewolf, no one even wanted to come near me, much less make friends with me," he said sadly and with much difficulty.

"Sorry," said Harry, ashamed of himself for having caused Remus so much pain.

"It's all right Harry. It's not your fault," he remained silent for a while. Then he took a deep breath and continued. "I couldn't find a seat and it was only in their compartment that I found an empty seat, so I asked to sit there and they let me sit. And thank heavens that they did. Because of those few hours, the next seven years of my life were the best ever..."

It was morning when Remus had arrived. The pair of them sat talking to each other till the sun was high in the sky and had started to sink low again. Remus looked considerably lightened, as if he'd somehow managed to remove a large portion of the weight he carried with him, but still had a considerable amount of it with him. Harry on the other hand, felt like he had suddenly taken upon himself the weight of another entire soul and now felt like he was too heavy, so heavy that his legs could no longer carry his weight and that they would buckle under him the moment he stood up. But understanding Remus's feelings, he kept listening patiently.

During the course of all this talk, Harry learned a number of things about his dad and his mom. He suddenly realized that he was subconsciously scolding himself for believing that his parents were the picture of a 'perfect love story', somehow falling in love with one other in their early years and retaining it peacefully and that their personalities were totally perfect, crystal clear and unblemished; perfect role-models for following students; much of what Hermione would be like if it weren't for Harry and Ron.

"Once again I would say, Harry, that those years I spent at Hogwarts with your father and all my other friends were the best of my life," said Lupin after taking a deep breath. "And not only those, but the years after school were the best ever too." Lupin's glazed over again as he said these words.

"A year after we all, that is me, James, Sirius, Peter and Lily; finished Hogwarts, James and Lily's marriage got arranged. We all knew it was due and was going to take place at some point in time, but still realizing that one of our friends was getting married to another friend and was now going to have to support a family still felt very strange and we all felt younger than James somehow. Nevertheless, we all greatly supported James and Lily. Sirius was their best man and they both wedded on a sunny day with many happy faces but we still cannot forget one sour face," said Lupin, his eyes glittering maliciously. Harry cast around for a second, wondering who would be present at the wedding and yet be sour. Then it suddenly clicked: Aunt Petunia. Of course! She being his aunt would have been present but, any happiness for Lily (whom she hated despicably) would have made her jealous, even if did not effect her in any way whatsoever.

"Oh! Yeah, sure. Aunt Petunia, right?" asked Harry, himself amused.

"Of course. It was a very happy day for us all, never to be forgotten. Then, year later, you were born. And another year later..." he couldn't finish his sentence.

Harry hurriedly tried to cover the uncomfortable situation. "I always thought that my mum and dad were perfect students and people. You know, starting to like each other in their fifth or sixth year and then, well, getting married after school. It's surprising to know it wasn't like that."

"No, it never was like that. Sure both of them were prefects, Head Boy and Head Girl, but they were never what you call perfect students and people. James had a crush on Lily in our fourth year. And from then onwards, he never left an opportunity to show off in front of Lily. He kept messing up his hair, as you know. He would hex anyone and everyone without any reason whatsoever, and specially Severus. Severus was our enemy in a manner that Draco Malfoy is your enemy."

"Yes, everyone keeps telling me that," said Harry.

"And it's true. Though there are a lot of differences in both the cases..."

"Such as..." Harry cut in.

"Such as um... Severus could never fly as James could, much less be on the Quidditch team. However, Malfoy is on the team. Then, girls used to literally drool over James," Lupin grinned.

"Girls, except my mum."

"Yes, everyone except your mum. While Severus, hardly even had a friend, much less have girls drooling over him. While Malfoy is just as important in the girls' liking-list as you are."

Harry immediately flushed. "I'm not in the girls' liking list!" he protested.

"That's what you think Harry, but trust me, you are in the lists, at the top of many I must say," replied Lupin grinning lightly at Harry's uneasiness.

"That's not what we were talking about," he said looking out the widow at the slowly declining sun, yet not looking at it.

"Indeed we were talking whether your parents were like perfect role-models for others. Well, let me tell you that they were not. Your father got into quite a lot of scrapes for his foolishness at most times and for his rashness at others. Let me tell you he got caught by Professor Flitwick for roaming around at night and had to serve a week's worth of detention for it. But he wouldn't have been caught if he hadn't tripped over his own shoelaces under the Invisibility Cloak," he ended with a chuckle seeing Harry's mouth hanging open. Harry, on the other hand, was thinking that even Ron wasn't this clumsy and that was saying something!

"Everyone has flaws, Harry. Both of your parents were pretty bad at controlling their tempers. Your father was a bit better than your mother. Lily was the sort of person who said whatever was in her heart without thinking of the consequences. And she could barely control her anger too as you must have seen in the Severus's Pensieve. James was quite as reckless as Sirius sometimes. This is one trait you have inherited from Lily and James: reckless at times and weak at controlling your temper."

"Tell me more about their pranks," said Harry curiously.

"Yes, well... As you must know by now that the ringleaders of the gang were James and Sirius. They were the ones who planned and carried out most of the pranks. They made full use of all the knowledge they got from our adventures at every full moon. And as you know, we also created the Marauders Map using that information. One prank you must know full well was the one Sirius attempted to carry out on Severus-"

"Indeed," cut in Harry, with a sour look on his face. "And how I wish that it would've succeeded."

"You shouldn't talk like that Harry, you know pretty well," said Remus with a very serious and stern look on his face. "Remember, if it had succeeded, we would currently be lacking a very important member of the Order. And I believe you know how important Severus is. Anyhow, other than that-" he changed the topic "-there was a time I remember when James and Sirius transfigured the robes of a very, very mean and surly Slytherin named Jacob Harrison's into a ballet dress, complete with shoes, stockings, gloves and even a head band! He was a pretty healthy guy too, so you can well imagine what that would've looked like. Cost the house 150 points a piece and two weeks of detention. Peter and me also had to go as they'd told McGonagall that we'd dared them! But it was all worth it, trust me..."

On and on they talked till the sun finally began setting. During the course of this time, Harry couldn't help but notice that Remus occasionally sounded like a man who is desperate to spill everything out of his heart yet not sure how to do it, or to do it at all or not. Remus would keep on talking and talking feeling as if he were talking to a very old friend, reminding him of all the times spent together and then suddenly realize that he was actually talking to someone who didn't know any of this and talking to this person because he had no friends left to talk to, no one to share all the happy times and no one to lighten the heavy weight on his heart. It greatly pained Harry to see someone so close to his father and next to a father for him suffering such torment.

It was late evening when Remus felt that his brain and heart was finally relaxed and at peace after a very long time. For some reason, Harry, instead of feeling happy to have gotten to know more about his mum and dad, felt uncomfortable and sad for Lupin. His confusion at his mixed feelings must have shown on his because Remus suddenly said, "Something troubling you, Harry?"

Harry nodded all the while thinking how to best phrase his confusing thoughts. "I don't understand why I feel more sorrow at losing Sirius than I ever felt at the thought of my dead mum and dad. Sure, I get angry when someone insults them and I get sad when someone talks about them, but it's not like this in - in - in his case!" said Harry, unable to take Sirius's name.

"Go on, Harry," said Lupin, understanding Harry's feelings, or at least trying to understand them, for one can never really experience what the other person is feeling unless they have to feel it themselves. "We both know that I'm not the only one who has been saddened by his departure. Go on, let out some of your feelings, and lighten your weight. You've been listening to me for a long while. Now it's your turn to talk and mine to listen, go on."

"Thanks, Remus," replied Harry; thankful he'd be able to lessen his burden somewhat. "See, it's very confusing. I don't fully understand it myself to explain it to you, but I'll still try. Whenever I think of my parents, I feel sad, deprived of something every other person in the world possesses. It's never a feeling of emptiness though. But whenever I think of Sirius, the world all of a sudden starts feeling empty, as if there's nothing left in it and that there's no reason to live anymore because there's nothing left to live for! I never felt anything like this thinking about my mum and dad, even though I should feel like this for them as they were my parents after all."

"I think I understand Harry. It used to happen to me too. Like whenever someone used to find out that I'm a werewolf, they'd be, you can say, totally repulsed of me. It sure did hurt. But it didn't hurt much if the people who treated me like this were those whom I didn't know. But if it was someone I considered a friend, then it hurt much, much worse. Like when one of our friends in Ravenclaw, Thomas Wilson, found out after school that I'm a werewolf, he dumped me like I was a piece of slime or dirt on his robes and nothing else. That hurt more than all the strangers' taunts put together," Lupin sighed heavily.

"In the same way, as much as you love your parents, you never knew them. You never knew them to miss them as much as you miss Sirius. He was closer to you than they were. You don't remember the love they felt for you because you were too young when they died. But now your old enough to remember all the feelings Sirius ever had for you. So you feel his loss more deeply than you ever felt the loss or absence thereof of your parents."

Harry sat thinking about this for a moment, absorbing how easily Lupin had phrased his intense love for Sirius and the void left by his departure.

Lupin casually glanced at his wristwatch and jumped as if he'd just received an electric shock. "How time flies! Its seven already. I must get back to the Headquarters Harry," he glanced at the newspapers beside Harry's bedside table. "As much as I'd like to stay and talk about the situation with you, Harry, I have to go now. Dumbledore will probably show up in two or three days to talk to you about your dream." Seeing Harry open his mouth, he spoke up before Harry even had a chance to utter a sound. "You can ask Dumbledore about going to the Burrow or..." taking a deep breath he continued. "But I'll tell you this that Hermione's in Asia for the vacations with her parents. Don't worry; she'll be perfectly fine there. We've got watches over her too. And Ron is of course at the Burrow. That's all I can say. But you'll be able to go to Diagon Alley to buy your school supplies, with a guard of course though."

"Well, see you later then, Harry. Take care of yourself. Stay alert and keep an eye on your surroundings. I think after what happened to you last year and after the acknowledgment of Voldemort's return, the Ministry has relaxed some of the rules of the Restriction of Underage Use of Magic. And if you have any more dreams, tell Dumbledore or me about them immediately," said Remus as they went out of Harry's room and down the stairs to stand in front of the main door. Luckily (or unluckily) no Dursley was in the surrounding area. "Well, goodbye then," he said pulling Harry into a tight hug. Harry immediately felt his tension elevate and all the muscles in his body relaxed. He had been holding them tight without realizing it. They stayed in the hug for about a minute, when Remus broke away, saying he'd better leave.

"G' bye," said Harry, closing the door behind Remus. Harry had been thinking that all his night would spend restlessly thinking about all the things Remus had said to him. But the one hug from Remus had elevated all his tensions and apprehensions. But it had also painfully reminded him of another half hug he got at Christmas last year.... for the first time thank God that Aunt Petunia interrupted his thoughts with her voice.

"Fifteen minutes boy. I want you in the dining room in fifteen minutes!"

"I'm not hungry Aunt Petunia," said Harry entering the kitchen. "For the first time he wasn't lying to neither Aunt Petunia nor to himself about not being hungry. As he entered, he saw his aunt glaring at him. "No honestly, Aunt Petunia, I'm not joking. I really don't feel like eating anything. See you in the morning!" Saying this, he left the kitchen to go to his room.

He went to his room and fell down on to his bed trying and wanting to think about the day, it had been a long day. But his tired body and mind had other plans in store for him. Within ten minutes, he was dead asleep, falling into a dreamless and peaceful sleep for the first time since the vacations had started, relaxing his overworked body and tense mind, for at least one night, if not all.